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Conference turris::womannotes-v1

Title:ARCHIVE-- Topics of Interest to Women, Volume 1 --ARCHIVE
Notice:V1 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:873
Total number of notes:22329

259.0. "Compassion, what does it mean to you?" by ATPS::FODEN () Tue Mar 31 1987 18:44

I am proposing this as a topic of discussion because it appears from note 234
that there are various opinions on the definition of compassion and of
its use in our lives.

What are your feelings on compassion?  To whom do you show compassion?
Who do you think is deserving of compassion?  

And also, what do you believe about showing compasssion compared with what
you actually end up actualizing on a day to day basis?

Do you remember any times when someone else's compassion or lack of it has made
a big difference in your life?

Do you remember times when your compassion or lack of it has made a big
difference in a relationship you were in, or for someone else?

This note is jointly entered by

Alison Nylander and Alicia Foden

T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
259.1ULTRA::ZURKOUI:Where the rubber meets the roadThu Apr 02 1987 09:5314
I've found I work better under someone who will be truthful about my
failings, and yet understanding about them (compassionate). It's like
a safe space, or the snail syndrome that Spence pointed out in another
note. If I feel support, I feel safer acknowledging my short-comings,
and working on them (less defensive).

I find myself equating compassion with empathy and support. In a work
environment.

I have trouble feeling compassion for people who are judging me. This
often deteriorates into a no-win situation (at work, and outside). How
do you get around that one? Particularly with people you have to work
with, or people you love?
	Mez
259.2compassionMANTIS::PAREThu Apr 02 1987 16:504
    To me compassion means treating people the way I would like to 
    be treated.  I tend to feel compassion towards most living things
    but especially the young, weak, or vulnerable.  The line is drawn
    when compassion is used as a tool to manipulate.
259.3what makes it workRETORT::HARMONThu Apr 09 1987 12:298
    Compassion, I believe, is a function of experience.  When you've
    "been there" you can empathize.  It's also a function of being able
    to identify the commonality of experiences.  I was going to say
    that it is also related to self-confidence, but in rethinking that
    point, I would say compassion is a tool of the wise, be they
    leader or lover.
    
    Wendy