Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    I guess I qualify -- a US citizen about to marry a Brit.   I don't
    mind half as much about our being from different countries as I
    mind our physically being *in* different countries, but that is
    temporary, whereas we will always be of different cultures.
    
    Living in Europe, I have had more problems dating French and 
    Swiss-German men.  Apart from the language difference 
    (I speak French well, but my German "minimalist"), I found 
    the men of these cultures far more prone to trivializing my opinions 
    & abilities.  The guys I knew in college suddenly seemed a whole
    lot more enlightened.                     
    
    Helen

>    I don't
>    mind half as much about our being from different countries as I
>    mind our physically being *in* different countries, 

I agree.... 3000+ miles is a bit much to carry on a relationship but it 
does work.

I find there are some obvious to subtle differences.  The person that I am 
involved with is in the UK also.  The first and most prominent were the 
language differences.  Yep - he speaks English and I speak American and 
believe me they are different!  ;-)  

I will need to think about this and post a reply later once I have found 
the *correct* words! (hi love!)

Angeline

Well as another lady about to 'hitch' up with a Brit I can tell you that 
they *do* work.  As Angel said there is sometimes a language difference but 
it is amazing the grounds for conversation that that gives us.  I say it is 
this way here, he says it is another way there.. we discuss it, analyze why 
it is we think the differences exist and walla!.. we have just spent 
*hours* talking, interacting and sometimes making a small dent in 
understanding the world a little better!

I think our relationship would work irregardless of us working for the same 
Company or not.  We have enough in common that working for the same Company 
is simply icing on the cake.  We laugh, play and cry like any other couple 
and our shared Company only aided us in coming together not keeping us 
together.

There are not words to describe the wonder of finding that special someone 
that makes living an even greater joy..  the fact that our cultures are a 
bit different seems to only add to the new things that we have yet to 
discover about one another...  the hardest thing I have yet to overcome is 
actually coming to terms with the fact that he eats beans on toast!! :^)

Very happy,
gailann

>Re: .3 
    
>    It seems to me that it would increase the difficulty of communicating,
>    due to everyting having to go through the mails or by "expensive"
>    phone calls.
    
I must say, that even in the same *wonderful* company, it is still 
expensive!  Yes, we can communicate by terminals (that's what I call a 
terminal relationship ;-) ), but to actually *be* with each other costs $$ 
or ## (sorry I'm on a VT100), and lots of them.  And the phone calls add up 
also, as I can't very well talk about *things* at my desk...

But believe me this relationship is worth every penny/pence!

Angel

p.s.  Hi Bob!!!!! ;-)

    I don't know if this fits here but,
    
    My boyfriend is out of the country, he is doing a year TDY (Temporary
    Duty) with the Air Force in Thule, Greenland.  We have communicated
    for the last 9 months by letters, pictures, cassettes, and yes,
    videos.  At first he didn't think it was fair to ask me to wait
    a year for him so he ended up backing out of our engagement just
    before he was sent over there last May.  Well it's been a long haul
    but the worst is over.  The days are finall counting down.  I haven't
    seen him since my birthday back in August.  He's coming home in
    10 days for a weeks leave and then he goes back to Greenland for
    7 more weeks and he'll be home for good, FINALLY!  We are planning
    on moving to Oklahoma together in Mid-April.  He was brought up
    there and that' where his next assignment is.  I CAN'T WAIT!
    If things work out after cohabitating for a while (6 months max)
    we will get married.  If you have the willpower to make the
    sacrifices it can end up in your favor.  At least I hope it will
    in my case.  Rex is a lifer (career man) with 8 years left before
    retiring.  I hope if he has to leave the country again, I can
    accompany him.
    
    GOOD LUCK TO ALL YOU WOMAN UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES!
    

    re: .6 (SPCTRM::GOINS)
    
    	Good luck, and congratulations!
    
    	My SO is Swiss -- born, bred, and raised in Switzerland.  Our
    	contrasts have enhanced our relationship, and have certainly
    	added a wonderful spice when learning about each other!  It's 
    	so interesting to say "I grew up doing this" and have him say 
    	"I grew up doing that" and *learning* the subtle yet important
    	differences in our cultures.  We were both raised similarly, 
    	he eats some pretty bizarre stuff, but all in all I find
    	different-country relationships much more interesting!  
        
    	...and, of course, it gives one an excellent excuse to go to
    	Europe every year...
    
    						Carla
    

My husband (of 14 years) was a student over here (U.S.) for the 
summer when I met him.   He was born and raised in Ireland.  Even 
now we discover cultural differences, e.g. shopping -- he comes 
from a culture that shops daily.  Therefore if there isn't a need 
for something within the next 24 hours, he won't buy it.  What's 
more, if we're shopping together, he'll say, "What are you 
getting that for?" to which I'll answer, "We're nearly out of 
it."  "So,  we don't need it now." and there usually follows some 
remark about how Americans are brought up to Buy! Buy! Buy!
I was brought up in New England, and when the weather turns cold, 
I start to hoard things and stock up.  I absolutely HATE 
shopping, and if I have to do it more that once a week I go into 
fits of depression.  

Realizing what contributes to these cultural differences and 
understanding that neither behavior is wrong or right really 
helps keep the relationship healthy.  My solution to the above 
dilemma?  We rarely shop for groceries together.  If Robbie's 
home, he does the shopping -- daily if need be.  When he's on the 
road, I go once and try and make it last for two weeks.  When we 
do have to shop together, I never ask if I should get something 
or not, and if he questions ANYTHING I put in the basket, he gets 
the silent treatment...until we get in the car.  I refuse to 
argue over groceries in public.

There are a lot of similarities in both our cultures as well, 
both Catholic...my French-Canadian background is similar in 
music, dance, values to his Irish background.  He loves 
French-Canadian food, e.g tourtiere and tete-de-frommage.  I love 
Irish sausages and puddings and TEA!  I'm addicted to Barry's 
Gold Irish Tea.

TTFN
Roxanne