| I've been a Big Sister for over three years...there is an office
in Framingham; if you're interested, they send a questionnaire,
along with requests for references, etc. They visit you in your
home, and make an effort to match you according to your personality,
interests, etc.
It's often fun and very rewarding, but it's always a serious
responsibility, too. I have been "adopted" by my Little Sister's
entire family, and have become a family advocate as much as a Big
Sister. It's my understanding this doesn't happen often - and is
certainly not required, or even encouraged - but each match is unique.
The people running the Program in Framingham are really involved
and sincere in their efforts to ensure the best matches. They follow
up each match - once a week in the beginning. They're available
for advice and are good people to work with.
If you'd like further information, please contact me directly.
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| I have been a Big Sister for 6 years. I became Anita's Big Sister
when she was 14 going on 15. Although she still lives in San Diego,
and I now live in New Hampshire, I still consider myself to be her Big
Sister especially when she calls me to tell me all about her college
courses. (This by the way, just tickles me!)
Being a Big Sister is not easy, but it is well worth the time and
effort. I can say without a doubt that I got as much or more out
of the experience than Anita. I learned a lot about life, especially
the life of the people that are not as lucky as me. I was a friend
to Anita; I provided a safe place for her. I showed her how life
could be, she showed me how life is for many people.
I have some mixed feelings as to how "successful" I was as a Big
Sister because Anita is now at age 21 and an unwed mother of two. I
did however provide support for her, helped her make her choices,
she even lived with me for the last several months of her pregnancy
cause she was planning on putting the baby up for adoption and she
didn't want friends and relatives to know about it. (That's another
story.)
However, she did finish high school, she has
career goals, and she is relatively safe and happy. I can only hope
that I was a positive role model for her. Before I met Anita, she
was into drugs, she was arrested for fighting in school, she had
some unbelievable family problems, and had been waiting for a Big
Sister for 2 years. After Anita and I got together all of the above
stopped. (Of course, it could be because she got pregnant.)
Anyway, let me tell you about the program as it was in San Diego.
I believe the program is basically the same throughout the US.
First you attend an introductory meeting. At this
meeting you are introduced to a Big Sister/Little Sister pair, and
you are told all about the program including the group activities,
the help services available, and the guidelines of being a Big Sister.
The guidelines as I can remember are:
1. You are expected to spend at least 2 hours a week with your Little
Sister. (You can set your own schedule though. I found that some
weeks I just couldn't see her, but then the next week we'd spend
the whole day together.)
2. You make a commitment to a Little Sister for one year. At the
end of that year, you can choose to continue, or, if you like you
can choose another Little Sister.
If you decide that you would like to begin the process of becoming
a Big Sister, you fill out an application form and provide 3
references. BS/LS does a fairly thorough job of researching your
background and contacting your references. You are then interviewed.
If you are selected (and not everyone is) you may choose an age
category, location, or
whatever guidelines you have for a Little Sister. BS/LS works very
hard to make a good match. You are given a writeup of the Little
Sister, and can choose whether or not you would like to become that
young girl's Big Sister. I must admit that the write-up I got on
Anita made me think twice before accepting her until they told me
that she had been turned down by potential Big Sisters for 2 years.
All the other BS/LS matches I saw were these cute little girls,
and that was what I had originally pictured for myself. Anyway,
Anita was great for me, they did an excellent job of matching us.
Then that's it! You call the Little Sister, introduce yourself,
and arrange a time to get together.
BS/LS provides lots of support. They give you ideas on how to make
arrangements for that first meeting, they have a staff you can call
if you have problems, and they have group activities planned throughout
the year so that you can get together with other BS/LSs. They also
give you some fairly strong guidelines on what you should and should
not do. (You of course can choose to follow these or not. I personally
found them to be well founded.) For example, they suggest that you
do activities that do not cost much money. Going for walks, making
cookies together, going to the beach were much better than going
to the movies. You set the terms though. I did take Anita to a few
rock concerts. First of all I wanted to go, but secondly I knew
she was safe with me!
Anyway, I plan on becoming a Big Sister again sometime. Right now
I have a family of my own that takes up most of my time and energy,
but in a few years I plan on finding the time again.
I highly recommend the program. If you are thinking about BS/LS's
go ahead! Find out more about it. I could be the most rewarding
thing you've ever done.
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