Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    Hum?????  Are you sure???
    
    My mother was 5 yrs older than my second stepfather, and I am 
    6 1/2 yrs older than my husband.  Olivia Newton John is 15 (?) yrs
    older than her husband (just saw this in the newspaper).  There
    are a lot of us "older women/younger husbands" out here.
    
    M-L

Here's another couple that doesn't match the generalization stated in .0.

Mabel and I were married when I was 21 ("...it was a very good year..."
and she was 24.

Why do women do this, you ask?  Well, why not?  The social gulf created
by 3 years' difference may be huge at 18, but it grows steadily smaller.

Bob

    My vague impression is that this is a cultural thing based on two
    reasons:
    
    1.  Men were generally older when they married because they needed
    time to establish themselves financially before taking on the added
    responsibilities of a family.
    
    2.  Women were married younger because those were their prime
    childbearing years.
    
    So, a man in his thirties (solid, fiscally responsible) would marry
    a woman in her teens/twenties (young and fertile).
    
    My husband is five years older than me.  Folk wisdom (I come from
    a matriarchial family) is that women mature faster than men and
    that's why we marry men several years older than we are.
    
    Gloria

    
    
    	Hmmm, no one told my family that....
    	   ...I'm 2 yrs older than my husband,
    	   ...my sister is 2 yrs older than her husband,
    	   ...my brother is 2+ yrs younger than his SO,
    	   ...and my mother is 10 yrs older than her husband!
    
    	I guess we're bending the rules! ;-) ;-) ;-)
                                       
    		Conni
    
    			Happy Holidays!

    I don't claim to have a good answer to this but Ill buy the 
    reasons in .3. One interesting note of interest, according to 
    the statistics I read a year or so ago the older woman, younger 
    man relationship / marriage has the best success rate via the 
    people polled and the fact that it has the lowest divorce rate
    of all combinations. There must be something to it.
                          
                              Bob B

        My mother is 4 years older than my father.  I believe that my
        mother's mother was also several years older than her husband,
        though I don't remember for sure (his age, unfortunately, has
        been irrelevant for over 20 years now). 
        
        Barbara is 4� years younger than me, but it's not like I was
        looking for someone younger.  We just met and that's how things
        were.  In fact, my fantasy "ideal mate" was always exactly the
        same age as me, ever since I was a little kid. 
        
        I said I wasn't looking for someone younger... Barbara *was*
        looking for someone older.  She felt that boys/men her own age
        were too immature.  By that time (she was 19), I suspect that
        was almost 100% untrue... but it *is* true that most girls
        mature earlier than most boys, and so it's likely that there was
        a foundation for this bias in her earlier teenage years. 
        
        Experience suggests that her attitude is fairly common among
        teenage girls, and may conceivably be the basis for the
        traditional age differences... particularly back when people
        married as young teenagers.  Even though things were pretty much
        male controlled back then, it's likely that a 17 year old boy
        might have preferred to marry a young 13 year old rather than a
        15 or 16 year old who might be more mature than he... :-)
        
        	/dave 

    
    My grandmother was only 15 when she married my grandfather who was
    then 30 (a widower with 2 kids) and they went on to have 10 kids
    of their own!  I tend to think Grandma was nuts, but I guess there
    weren't many options open for a young woman in Nova Scotia in the
    year 1900!
    
    My father was 12 yrs. older than my mother, and my ex-husband was
    3 yrs. older than me, but it's a tradition that is rapidly changing
    (thank God)!  *Some* men can get to be "old f**ts" at such an early
    age it's no wonder older women want young men!
    
    Lorna
    

    Hear Hear .7 I agree that older guys do become " old f**ts"!!! 
    That's one of the main reasons my SO is 7 years younger then 
    I am.  Older men that were married were always hung up on how
    their ex-wifes were taking them to the cleaners and ones that
    weren't married were always hung up on the fact that women were 
    trying to trap them.  So I picked a younger guy that's never been 
    married and doesn't have anything against it.  By the way I'm 33 
    and divorced Russ is 26 (I'm glad I found him).

    
    I find the proportion of old farts to real people to be equal between
    men and women of any age.
    
    Some grow out of it, too, don't forget. 

    This is a male speaking.
    
    I think the generalization may have been the case in years gone
    by for the reasons mentioned in other replys.  I don't think that
    it holds now.  In my case, with the usual sprinkling of exception,
    I have tended to find myself paired with "older" women, anywhere
    from a few months to as much as 7+ years.  This has not been by
    design but, I believe a function of the selection process (oh how
    terribly Darwinian!).
    
    I have found that friends, male and female, seem to have a
    predisposition for a + or - age variance.  I have tried to psyche
    this one out and have yet to formulate a suitable opinion.

    I was about a year older than my first husband, and I am almost
    three years older than Paul is.  Most of our friends vary from five
    years younger than I am to about 8 years older.
    
    One of my old friends married a man who is her father's age, which
    I always thought was pretty strange (though he is a NICE "older
    gentleman", and is very good to her).  He has a daughter from his
    first marriage who is almost my friend's age, and he is retired
    already (of course; she is almost 34, and he is 65 or so).  Soon
    after their marriage, she nursed him while he recovered from a heart
    attack!  Then again, she always dated men who were much, much older
    than we were (college men in high school; men in their fifties in
    college...).  I don't know why.  I guess there are some attractions
    to much older men, especially if a woman is not especially serious
    about "making her own way in the world" (as I am!); marry someone
    who already owns a house, has accumulated enough money to live
    comfortably on, has leisure time.... Still, it's not for me!
    
    /Charlotte

RE: .12>    " .... Still its not for me!"
 	    What's not for you???

    I am 17 years younger than my SO.
    My father was 18 years older than his wife when she died
    at age 38. There was only 10 years difference between our ages.
    Oddly enough my father had bypass surgery shortly after they were married
    and she 'nursed him while he recovered', and then he 'nursed her' while she
    died of cancer.
    My mother is 15 or so years older than her SO.
    I don't consider it "pretty strange", why is it strange to  fall in
    love with someone who is not in your age group - 
    By the way, I am quite serious about "making my own way in the world",
    as was my fathers wife, as are the women I know that have 
    married/lived with men who are 10+ years older than they are. 
    These are women who have careers, or who have started families
    with these 'NICE older gentlemen, or both.
    As for the men who are starting, sometimes second, families in
    their 40's and 50's, I applaud them. I have seen them, doubtful yet joyful
    and as scared and as enchanted as any 'young' father could be.
    As for assuming that a man who is older "owns a house, has accumulated
    enough money to live comfortably on, has leisure time.....", 
    It does not hold true in my case, nor in my father's case,
    nor does it hold true for any of the couples that I know, in fact 
    some of these 'older gentlemen' are quite heavily burdened financially
    with previous obligations, child support, tuition, helping the kids,
    etc. As a generalization it is, at best, unfair and like many
    generalizations, it is also thoughtless.   
    It seems to me that you are severly limiting yourself when the people
    you love, or choose as your friends must fall within certain guidelines
    as to age.  If you set guidelines as to age do you also restrict
    your associations with people who differ from you in other ways
    such as income, interests, religion, ethnic background, etc.
    Perhaps we would do better if we judged the individual on their
    own merits rather than the superficial ones we contrive for ourselves,
    or worse, are contrived for us.
    On the original note .0
    I can not say why other women live with/marry men older than themselves,
    as for myself; we met, we became friends, we fell in love, and are
    still friends and still in love 6 years later.
    I wasn't interested in his age, he could have been 17 or 70 -
    I wasn't interested in his ethnic background either, Arabian or
    Eskimo and so on.  
    Maybe the question should be, why do we love, what is the attraction,
    what draws us to the people who are our friends/lovers/SOs?
    and more, what keeps us together through tragedy and prosperity?
             
    Why? -Why Not- 
     Angela
    
                     

.7> *Some* men can get to be "old f**ts" at such an early age . . .

Your "some" qualifier (and the added emphasis) is much appreciated.

.8> I agree that older guys do become "old f**ts"!!!

Your lack of a "some" qualifier is not appreciated.

<_Jym_>

    I've recently been thinking about this topic again.  (The last recent
    reply in the independence topic caused me to write this).  The reason
    that I have always dated older men is simply that those men I've met
    who are younger than I or my age are too *immature* for me.  This
    has held true throughout my entire adult life and I am only 27 years
    old.  *Maybe* this will change as I get into my 30s and 40s.
    
    I don't agree about the older men I've known being "old f**ts" either.
    None of the older men I've associated with have this prolem.
    They're more experienced with relationships and people and the world
    and know how to treat a woman much better than inexperienced, younger men.
    On the whole, they've been (or at least acted) more intelligent,
    better mannered, less dependent, and they no longer have a need to "prove"
    their "manhood" the way *a lot* of young, immature guys do.
    
    I have a 62-year old (platonic) male friend who is a really wonderful
    man.  Sure, he grew up with the same sexism that all men of his
    age did, but he sure tries harder and sure is *nicer* than *a lot* of
    brash, younger men I've met who are still trying to prove their "manhood".

    Just one woman's experience.
    
    	-Ellen

	Benjamin Franklin's 8 reasons to marry an older woman.


1)	Because they have more Knowledge of the world, and their Minds are 
	better stored with Observations; their Conversation is more improving,
	and more lastly agreeable.
2)	Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To
	maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of
	Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a thousand
	services, small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all 
	Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue to be amiable. And hence
	there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not
	a good woman.
3)	Because there is no hazard of children, which irregularly produced
	may be attended with much inconvenience.

4)	Because through more Experience they are more prudent and discreet
	in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with
	them is therefore safer with regard to your reputation; and with
	regard to theirs, if the Affairs should happen to be known, 
	considerate People might be rather inclined to excuse an old Woman,
	who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his manners by 
	her good Councils, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune
	among mercenary Prostitutes.

5)	Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of 
	the Fluids that fill the muscles appears first in the highest
	part. The face grows lank and wrinkled; then the neck; then
	the breast and arms; the lower parts continuing to the last 
	as plump as ever; so that covering all above with a basket, and 
	regarding only what is below the girdle, it is impossible of two
	woman to know an old one from a young one. And as in the dark all
	cats are gray, the pleasure of corporal enjoyment with an old 
	woman is at least equal and frequently superior; every knack 
	being by practice capable of improvement.

6)	Because the sin is less. The debauching of a virgin may be her ruin,
	and make her life unhappy.

7)	Because the compunction is less. The having made a young girl
	miserable may give you frequent bitter reflections; none of
	which can attend making an old woman happy.

8)	Because they are so grateful!!!


Source:	Advice to a young man (Philadelphia, June 25, 1745)

    
    My best friend is 19 her husband-to-be is 28.
    
    I'm also 19 and my male-friend is 31.
    
    The flack we have to take on the age issue is incredible.  The looks,
    the gasps, the lectures...what is the BIG deal anyway.  By the way
    are there any mothers out there that would oppose the conditions
    above if applied to their daughter.  Our parents are having a fit.
    
    Where are the younger men anyway???  I barely know any that are
    my age...and I'm in college full-time days...I still don't meet
    any...
    
    ...tracy...

re: .17

When I was 18 I dated a guy who was 29, and now I'm married to a man
who's ten years older then me. When I was 18, my folks freaked out about
this guy because: all he could possibly want from me was sex! How
insulting. But there it was; the Puritan mind at work. At the time I
was not articulate enough to say 1) there's more to me than a body folks,
and 2) I want him for some fun and games too. 

I would guess that your folks are coming from the same place mine were.
	Mez

    re: .17
    
    I'm a mother, (34), with a precocious 11 year old daughter.  If
    she ever took to dating older men, I'd pack her off to a convent (:}).
    
    When I was 18, I married a man 28.  I was an intelligent
    and articulate young person, got along well with people older than
    me, and didn't at the time think that the age business mattered
    very much at all.  What is hard to realize at the moment, is that
    you are still developmentally an embryonic human being.  
    One might be able to score perfect 800's on the college boards, 
    discourse eloquently on philosophy, and have a plan for fixing
    the injustices of the world, and still not really know who 
    and what you are as a human being on your own.  Your mind and
    interests may outstrip many men your own age (men are 
    generally slower at emotional development than women), but there
    are ways in which you are still very young and undeveloped.
    
    There are several especial dangers here.  You are at an age
    when a person should be experimenting with various kinds of
    relationships.  What you gain from this is a clearer of sense
    of what the possibilities are for your life: how you can 
    respond to/be responding to by different types of people.
    As long as there is no permanent commitment, one can write
    it off as a learning experience.  This is more likely to
    happen with partners your own age, since they are also going
    through the same kind of experimentation and development.
    
    The temptation to commit yourself to more than you are ready
    for is much greater with an older man.  The potential for
    an unequal balance of power is very, very high.  "Power"
    in this context does not mean bossing someone around or
    being an obvious tyrant.  What is does mean is that the
    terms, tone, and development of the relationship is far
    more likely to be set by one partner and just absorbed
    by the other.  When you are at an age where you should
    be sorting out a sense of your own identity, you may find 
    that identity being handed to you by someone else.

    Because of cultural conditioning, there is an inequality
    of power in most man/woman relationships.  Even in relationships
    that are considered to be very modern and sensitive, the
    woman tends to do more adjusting to suit the man than otherwise.
    There is an even greater imbalance of power in an older/younger
    relationships.  As an older man, he is more likely to have a
    core sense of himself that is stronger than yours.
    It can be flattering to feel that an older and more experienced
    person considers you his equal in choosing you for a partner.  
    This can tempt you to surrender much of the responsibility 
    for your own personal development.  It's something you may
    not notice for 10 years, but it causes a kind of emotional
    retardation and lack of confidence in yourself.
    
    What is more probably on your parents' minds is what are his
    motivations?  Why would a 31 year old go out with a 19 year old?
    More often than not, the man wants a pliable, undeveloped
    partner.  This can be because he is not secure enough to
    have a relationship with a more mature, well-defined person
    his own age.  The relationship is very often exploitive.  
    A few years ago, most parents would have considered the 
    possibility of sexual exploitation the most alarming aspect 
    of such a connection. I consider the subtle emotional exploitation,
    which can prevent you from developing as your own person,
    to be far more damaging in the long run.

    I can't overstate the case.  I also know, that just like me at
    the same age, you will probably consider it all a lot of nonsense.
    I'm sure you'll probably feel that your man is different, that
    your relationship is something different.  sigh.  Everyone has
    to live their own life, make their own mistakes, and come to
    their own conclusions.  I hope your experience isn't as painful
    as mine was, and growing up doesn't cost you as much.  I've
    been divorced for 9 years, the sole support of two kids (13 & 11),
    and it's been no easy task starting to do the work at 26 that I
    should have been doing at 18.
    
    I probably sound like an insufferable 105-year old auntie.
    Sorry if I've overdone the free advice...

    re: .19
    
    I couldn't have said it better myself!!  I was/am in exactly the
    same situation.  
    
    I married at 20 to a man almost 8 years older than myself.  At the
    time I got married I couldn't understand all the grief about the
    age difference.  It didn't seem like there was an age difference
    at all!!  As time progressed, and I started to mature and understand
    myself, I began to realize that I was just a "puppet", that I was
    being manipulated.  What was worse yet, was my lack of self-esteam
    and self worth.  I was always being told I was getting "old" and
    I would need to be "traded-in for a younger model", all the typical
    stuff!!  I began to realize how immature he was and how controlled
    I felt. 
    
    I am divorced now, and two years later am still discovering myself,
    something I should have done lots earlier.  
    
    I'm not saying that it's going to be this way for everyone, but
    just be aware of the warning signs....and don't be afraid to be
    who you are right now!!  I know I waited too long.
    
    cin
    

    Catherine's reply reminded me of a friend of mine, male, then aged
    22 who started going with a 14-year-old girl (whom I met and acted
    and looked more like 17 or 18).  They stayed together exclusively
    for about 3 years, until she went off to college.  (To be fair to
    Kevin, he did not know how old she was until after he became attached
    to her).
    
    All along, people kept telling Kevin that he shouldn't be hanging
    around with someone so young.  They were *soooo* worried about Mandy.
    *I*, on the other hand, was more worried about Kevin, knowing him as
    I did then.  He was very devoted to her and loved her very much and
    it showed.  I told him that she would drop him someday because she was
    young and needed other experiences and relationships before settling
    permanently on one person.  I was right that time.  It took Kevin
    a long time to get over her.
    
    	-Ellen

    A few years back, a friend recommended a book to me, I can't
    remember the name of it. Written by a woman, can't remember her
    name either, with input from many friends. The book attempted
    to categorize men into 20+ types based on how they related
    to women. The type that stuck in my head most was called
    "The Doe Stalker", the older guy who only chases younger women.
    In part it stuck because the description fitted an acquaintance
    tp a tee. Since the author was located in Ca. and I'm in Mass.
    i wondered "How did she meet HIM ?" There are many men who need
    younger womens adulation to make them feel young and virile.
    Also, they have difficulty relating to women their own age.
    
    IF this is the case, then the previous examples are more
    evidence that the scenario is too often true. If the older
    partner is not experiencing growth in their life, they
    might seek to stifle that of their younger partner. 

    
    It seems that life experience, not age, is the key.
    
    I cite the example of my parents.  My dad is nine years older than
    my mom.  However, when they married:
    
    My dad was 34, and had arrived at the stage in his life when he
    felt he wanted to settle down.
    
    My mom had already been married once, and subsequently widowed.
    
    Mind age, not body age, is the key.
    
    I realize I'm not making any profound statements, here.  I'm just
    trying to give a rationale for why it sometimes works, and why it
    sometimes doesn't.
    
    DFW

    re: .23
    
    Mind and EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT age is definitely the key,
    rather than body age.  However, I think it's a pretty safe
    bet that a 19 year old cannot possibly have had the life
    experience of a 30 year old, unless maybe she's been living
    on the street in Beirut or something.  At 34, there are some
    parts of me that feel about 45 in terms of life experience,
    some parts that are about 25, and others that are about 12.
    I've know people chronologically older than me that feel
    younger, and some that are chronologically younger but feel
    older.  The possibilities are endless, but sheer practicality
    would indicate that the younger a person is, the less likely
    the field for life and self-experience.

    I would think the biggest worry in a relationship where one partner
    is much older than the other is the generation gap. Imagine when
    you are in your prime and your love is like an old parent instead
    of a spouse. 
    
    My husband is about 6 months younger than me (a fact he loves to
    tease me about) but there have been times when I wish I had married
    an older guy who would take care of me like a father. But if I had
    I doubt I would have matured as fast and maybe I wouldn't have matured
    at all! As everyone else pointed out though each relationship is
    unique to itself. liesl
    

    re: .25
    
    I was in a relationship with a younger man (4 years younger), after my
    marriage to a man 10 years older (see a previous reply for THAT story).  
    I found the relationship very liberating.  It was a little scary to 
    realize that he couldn't take care of me.  We could never be more or 
    less than equals, and it gave me a lot of room to grow.  That
    he was bisexual helped a great deal too, since he didn't tend
    toward a particulary traditional male role, and that left me
    even more space to develop.  All in all, a valuable experience.

    I've almost always been in relationships with wide age gaps ranging
    from 26 years older to 13 years younger.
    
    When I was in my 20's, the gaps seemed bigger.  Now that I am in my
    30's, I feel very little age gap with someone in their 40's.  When
    I dated someone who was 23 a couple of years ago, though, I really
    felt the difference!  
    
    My theory is that things begin to even out after 30.  The main
    difference for me now is earning power and energy level, and those
    two things really depend on the individual.

Well two prominent couples who have a large age gap seem to be doing OK. The
establishment therefore have given the green light...! I refer of course to
Mrs. Thatcher & Dennis, and the Prince & Princess of Wales. 

Tarik.

    RESPONDING TO NOTE 153.2
     
    <- And ANOTHER generalization bites the dust! ->
    This may be irrelevant but does show now adays as Bob
    stated in note 153.2," The social gulf is steadily growing
    smaller". At the age 19, i've dated for 3 months a lady
    43 years of age, reasons for the departure from the relationship
    was that she wanted me to stay home and keep house, cook, clean,
    wash, care for the kids and ect. ect., and I wanted to aquire my
    own identity, make my own goals and all the manly duties men do
    to achieve their personal awareness. With that in the clear and
    understanding between the both, now are very very close friends.
    Sorry to say that the noter 153.2 did'nt answer the question to
    "Why do women do this" but gave a question in return, and even
    more sorry to say that I can't answer that question myself.  
    

    WELL I THINK THE FEMALE WANTS TO BE MORE MATURE. GOING OUT WITH
    SOMEONE WHOM IS OLDER MAKES YOU FEEL MORE MATURE. THE OTHER REASON
    COULD BE,AND I HOPE THE WOMEN FORGIVE ME FOR SAYING THIS. FOR THE
    MONEY. DON'T GET ME WRONG YOU KNOW AND I KNOW THAT ALL WOMEN ARE
    NOT LIKE THAT. AS FOR THE MEN I'M NOT TO SURE.MAYBE THEY ARE AFRAID
    OF GETTING OLD. IT ALSO COULD BE TO KEEP THE OLD BONES GOING. I
    DON'T MEAN THAT IN A SEXUAL WAY. JUST THINGS TO KEEP THEM FROM ROCKING
    THE CHAIR. IF I OFFENDED ANYONE I AM SORRY PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND
    NEXT TIME I WILL WATCH WHAT I SAY.
    
                                                      D/H

    	I have always been attracted to older men AND older women (as
    	friends).  They have had more experiences and are *usually*
    	more interesting than people my own age.  (Although I enjoy
    	*interesting* people of all ages!  And at 24, "older" means
    	people in their 30's.  (Which is by no means OLD!!!!!)
    
    	My boyfriend is 12 years older than me.  I'm not with him for
    	his money, nor because he *makes* me feel mature (I don't 
    	believe force is at all realistic when it comes to maturity).  
    	I am with him because he is fascinating, well travelled, wants 
    	to *live* life (rather than just exist) and because he loves me.
    
    	And finally, most people my own age prefer Coors Light and
    	physical appearances over champagne and personality.  They 
    	haven't learned to appreciate and *enjoy* the finer things 
    	in life yet!
    
    						Carla
    

    re my .12
    
    I was sad to learn over the weekend that my old friend's husband
    died of a heart attack last week - he was 68; she is almost 35.
    They were married for 5 years.
    
    It still seems to me that she sort of - how to say this? - skipped
    from young adulthood straight into our parents' generation and the
    associated concerns of people in that age group (60's and 70's),
    without ever living through the time in between.  I'm rambling,
    I guess...

    Charlotte,
    
    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's husband.  Just a comment
    on
    
    >from young adulthood straight into our parents' generation and the
    >associated concerns of people in that age group (60's and 70's),
    
    Marrying someone closer to her own age would not necessarily mean
    that she would not have to face such concerns.   Ny husband had
    a heart attack at the ripe old age of 34! (As you know, since you
    and Paul were so kind to me and drove me into Boston to see him
    in the hospital, thanks.)  Although we are both young, we also had
    to face things that we did not expect to face until we were much
    older.  And Tom wasn't even the youngest person in the Cardiac
    Rehabilitation program.  If anyone had told me a couple of years
    ago that I would be able to speak with my older relatives about
    blood pressure medication, chloresteral counts, and nitroglycerin,
    all from personal experience, I would have laughed...
    
    Despite having to live our lives more carefully and thoughtfully
    now, I have no regrets about my marriage...in sickness and in health,
    and all that.  I would not trade what I have gotten out of our
    relationship for a relationship where the health wasn't an issue.
    I suspect your friend feels the same way.
    
    Rita_whose_shoulders_hurt_bad_because_Tom_can't_shovel_snow_anymore

    
    It's not the age that counts, it the person's maturity. 
    
    My ex was about 5 years older that me, and he was/is extremly immature,
    and irresponsible.
    
    Rich is a little bit younger that I am, and he is a mature, caring,
    person.
    
    Most of our friends are "older" (Mid 30's) than us, because neither
    of us like the things that most people our age do, and the the way
    that they act.
    
    Bye!
    
    Corinne
      
    
    

    
    Well, My Girlfriend is younger then her husband-to-be. He is 16
    years older than her. She is 24 and He is 40. They had one son who
    will be 4 years old. They had been together for about 8 years. They
    are happy and wonderful family.
    
    I think, Age is not important. My husband is 4 years older than
    me. I am 29 and he is 33. We are happy and have two sons.
    
    Lourdes

     
      Because women are MUCH more apt to burn-out living through the
    rigors of the single life, and the men who marry young women do
    so because they realize this.
    
                                                           MATT
    
    
    
    

    	RE: .37
    
    	Give it a rest.  Single men die younger than any other group
    	of men or women (married or single.)
    
    	Your statement about single women getting burned out more
    	than single men has no basis whatsoever in fact.
    
    	It sounds like a personal prejudice (based on the infamous
    	old double standard) to me.  

    RE .37 
    
    Given that women generally earn less than men, but incur
    the same living expenses, does this surprise you ? 
    
    Take a twenty percent pay cut and see if you don't burn out 
    a bit sooner.

    Thank you .38!!!!!
    
    Burn out, my foot!!!   Listening to .37 and .39 is enough to Burn
    me up!!
    
    Enough said for the moment, I'm too warm to say any more now!!