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Conference turris::womannotes-v1

Title:ARCHIVE-- Topics of Interest to Women, Volume 1 --ARCHIVE
Notice:V1 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:873
Total number of notes:22329

141.0. "An autobiography of the other woman..." by MARCIE::JLAMOTTE (It is a time to remember) Thu Dec 18 1986 18:55

    I was always going to write a book...but as the years went by the
    hurt feelings, the guilt became more distant and the idea was not
    as necessary.
    
    He was nice to me...I was having difficulty raising the children
    as a single parent...he was separated from his wife.  He took me
    shopping, to the laundromat, and we shared drinks at the neighborhood
    pub.  We did our Christmas shopping in town.  There were stores
    not far from the neighborhood pub.  We drank...wrapped presents.
    During the summer we took our children to local activities..we
    drank...played softball.  
    
    His wife was sick...she could not handle the children...he said
    I must go home...I cried...we said goodbye...he went home.
    
    The neighborhood pub was a friendly place.  I drank...everyone
    felt sorry for me...what a good man he was to take care of his
    family...
    
    Six weeks later he came into the pub...told the bartender to give
    Joyce a drink....and after a few moments joined me...the wife only
    had six months to live...he missed me.
    
    The rest is a bunch of excuses and justifications.  The wife is
    still alive.  She told a friend of mine that I was the nicest 
    girlfriend he had ever had because I did'nt call the house or 
    infringe on her time.
                                              
    For every married man that cheats on his wife there is a valid excuse
    for that behavior.
    
    For each one of us that messes up a sister there is years of guilt
    to live with..
T.RTitleUserPersonal
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141.1It's all so confusingAPEHUB::STHILAIREFri Dec 19 1986 11:129
    
    So maybe monogamy is an unrealistic approach to life?
    
    Sometimes people do what they have to do to get by, and
    other people accidentally get hurt.  I'm not sure if situations
    like this can always be avoided.
    
    Lorna
    
141.2Woman scorned?AKOV04::WILLIAMSTue Dec 30 1986 14:1611
    I support .1 and take exception to .0 suggesting that men cheat
    on their wives but women don't cheat on their husbands.  Not very
    realistic!
    
    To continue, it appears the majority of contributors to this file
    believe 'all' relationships have monogamy as one of their roots.
    This is not realistic, either.  There is no 'all.'  There are many
    married men and women who are seeking companionship, love and sex
    outside their marriages.  It is not my place to pass judgement on
    these people, nor is it anyone elses, save the people with whom
    they have emotional contracts.
141.3The reason why...MARCIE::JLAMOTTEIt is a time to rememberWed Dec 31 1986 15:598
     re.  .2
    
    The original note was written by a woman to women condensing years
    of experience into a few short paragraphs.  
    
    I did not have a relationship with a woman so I did not comment
    on married women cheating.