Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    
    Re .0, I just saw this movie over the weekend and also read the
    review in the Globe.  I *loved* this movie!  It really captured
    my imagination.  I guess I must be at just about the right age to
    wonder what would happen if I could go back to my teen years, knowing
    what I know now.
    
    Seeing how different the character of Peggy was from her high school
    friends when she went back in time made me realize how different
    I am now from the me that was a teenager in the 60's.
    
    I think it would be fun to go back for a day or two just to look
    around, but would never want to go back and live it ALL over - the
    entire 4 years of high school or the entire 19 years since.  I could
    never stand to go through those 4 horrible years of gym class again.
     I know this time I'd just tell that bozo that taught the class
    to shove it and walk out!  However, if I did have to do it again,
    although it sounds as corny as hell, I really would try to get better
    grades this time around.  I would try to pass Algebra and Geometry,
    and get into college.  I don't think I would learn how to type this
    time.  Knowing how to type has only brought me misery.
    
    As far as social life goes, I agree whole-heartedly with Bonnie
    as far having boys for friends this time.  I have male friends now,
    but for years I thought of males as prospective boyfriends, husbands
    or nothing.  What a waste of potential friendship!  
    
    I'd probably get into a lot more trouble if I had to be a teenager
    again knowing what I know now.  For example, when I was a teenager
    I happily remained a virgin, never sampling booze or drugs until
    I was 20.  I had no idea what I was missing.  But, now I'd know!
     (Ummm! That kid who was in my homeroom for 4 yrs. who had the great
    build and always dated the girls the with "bad reputations".  This
    time around I'd get to know him a little better!!)  
    
    Actually, I know what I would do.  I found out after I graduated
    that a really homely, nerd-type boy who got straight A's, had had
    a crush on me for 2 years.  I never saw him again, but since heard
    that he's a biologist making good money.  Aha!  I know exactly what
    I'd do now if I could go back!  Goodbye poverty!  But, then if I
    didn't marry my ex-husband I couldn't guarantee that my daughter
    would be born (which I would definitely want to have happen) so
    it gets tricky!!!
    
    Lorna
    

I'm less tongue-tied now than I was then.

There are a lot of people whom I've never told that I love them.
 <_Jym_>

    Yes, I would do things differently - I would have gone to college
    I would have looked at guys differently, = Just like Bonnie :-}
    I used to think of them as just people to date not just as friends....
    
    I would have traveled more......get involved more with people,
    community etc......learned to relax more as well.........ah what
    you learn as you get older.....
    
    bs
    

Yes this is a great topic!!!  

What would I change???

To be honest I don't think I would change much.  My
home life has always been good.  I love my family and
we all get along well.  Of course they live in PA and
I live in Mass.  I'm sure that has a lot to do with it.  

I've made a lot of mistakes, bad marriage.. boy did that hurt..
I would of looked deeper into that relationship before I married
this man I thought was the most wonderful person in the world.
I wouldn't put so much importance on having a boy friend. I really
let them walk all over me.  What a jerk!!  

I would work harder on my self-confidence.. not having faith
in yourself holds you back from doing so much.  

Other than those important points I think all my accomplishments
and mistakes contribute to what I am and that's not so bad.


Pam

I would like to go back in time, but not as a participant.  I wouldn't
want to "relive" those years... I'd wanna watch!!!

I'd wanna see all the things I didn't see!  What didn't I do that I
thought I did?  How were the people around me reacting to me?  How was
I reacting to them?

I'd be too afraid of participating because I might step off of the path
and crush the butterfly.... and things wouldn't be quite the same back
home....

Bugsy

    If I could go back with the knowledge I have now YES,YES,YES!
    
    I would know not to marry at 18, after knowing my first husband
    for only 18 days (although we were married over 11 years).
    
    I would have waited to have my kids, one at 20 and one at 22, I
    love them dearly, but wish I had been more mature when I took on
    the responsiblity...... I would still have had 2 children, just
    later in my 20's.
    
    And, knowing how much my first husband changed after he got out
    of the service and we moved into the same town as his family, I
    would have insisted we move someplace else.
    
    Hindsight is great, if we could only apply it at the time we really
    need it.
    
    M-L

    I agree one hundred percent that if I had to do it all again
    I would definitely look at men as friends first.  I have 
    found the relationship to be much more relaxing and less
    strain.  So all those guys out there would have been my 
    friends first.
    
    I would love to go back when I was in high school and do it
    all over again.  With six brothers and the only girl, I was
    just as bad as they were as far as disrupting the class and
    not paying attention.  Which meant I spent more time after
    school in detention hall because I was to busy joking around
    to learn.  And, this was all thru high school.  It was fun
    but I didn't learn a whole heck of a lot.
    
    That's what I would do over again if I had the chance.
    
    Judy
    

I can think of a lot of things I would have done differently, knowing what I
know now.  Especially in high school:  I echo the sentiments of those who wish
they looked on boys as friends more than as potential boyfriends.  I also would
not be as shy as I was, knowing what I know now (and caring less about what
other people think!).  I'm sure that would have changed a lot of things.  I
would have fought harder (and made more trouble :-)) for those things I was
deprived of (yet another long story!)

But, given the choice, I would not want to go back.  I would not want to risk
doing something to make me lose what I am and what I have now.

By the way, I almost got to my high school 10-year reunion Thanksgiving weekend.
I only had one friend I really wanted to see, and half dreaded meeting my other
school-mates (would they still be as stuck up?) but I was curious what they
looked like and what they were doing.  Unfortunately (?), that was in NJ, and
we made a sudden "premature" return to MA when our friend went into labor
at around 3:30am Friday morning (3 weeks early).  I guess some things are meant
to be...

Jill

    Well almost a year after I entered the basenote I finally saw
    "Peggy Sue Got Married" on VCR last weekend. 
    
    It was even better than I had expected it would be. I got so
    involved with the story that I didn't even hear when one
    of my kids was talking to me.
    
    My daughter who is 14 thought the whole movie was 'dumb' :-}.
    (This is the child who has chosen to rebel by bagging academics...
    even tho she is quite bright....I have suggested that she
    find some more original way to rebel to no avail).
    
    I hope she doesn't end up wishing that she had done things differently.
    
    There are a few other things that I would like to have done differently
    in my life....like travel, or been more actively involved in the
    civil rights movement....I just found out an office neighbor of
    mine went to Woodstock while a student in a monastary...he got in
    a lot of trouble but he said it was worth it.  Sometimes I wish
    I had taken a few wild chances...
    
    Bonnie

re:< Note 99.9 by STUBBI::B_REINKE "where the sidewalk ends" >
    
 Hey Bonnie,

	Your daughter sounds just like me when I was that age...I couldn't
think up a better way to rebel either...sigh..

Jenna Poops

    
    Nothing would induce me to relive that nightmare commonly referred
    to as high school.  I hated every moment of it, and even with the
    knowledge I have now, I don't think I could have kept myself from
    being the person I was then, i.e., twisted and hateful.
    
    Blech!  I would have preferred to spend the whole time asleep.
    
    DFW

    Bonnie - I was a camp counselor in the Berkshires in the summer
    of 1968 (or was it 69? well, anyway...) and somebody said, "Hey,
    there's gonna be a folk-festival type thing over in New York State!
    Do ya think we oughta go?" We said "Nah. Probably won't be that
    good."
    
    It was Woodstock.
    
    Argh.
    
    Dawn
    

    Dawn,
    
    It was the summer of 1969, I was 7 1/2 months pregnant at the
    time, working days as a histology technician and typing my thesis 
    by hand on a old underwood typwriter evenings and weekends so I 
    could get my degree at the end of the month.
    
    ah memories :-)
    
    Bonnie
    
    (ps Jenna, maybe I should introduce my daughter to you :-})
    

    I most certainly would do things differently.  To list a few:
    
    1) Play sports.  I never did, my family wasn't into it.  So most
    of my childhood I was physically lethargic.  I would love to have been
    outside all the time, playing on team sports, earning my letters,
    getting to know more people.  That's one thing I am going to stress
    when (if :-) I have a kid.  I will not raise the boob tube child
    I was.
    
    2) Get into clubs and after school activities.
    
    3) Learn how to fight.  I was always the kid who got beat up at
    the bus stop.  My mother had always protected me and told me that
    fighting was wrong.  Not that it's right, but it is a necessity
    when you're the new kid on the block every year (we moved constantly).
    Or rather I should say having the courage to fight.  Winning the
    fight isn't everything, but having the pride to not take the bully's
    fists lying down is.
    
    As you can tell I was a scared, sniveling, mamma's girl, chicken
    livered, introvert.  My Junior year in highschool I did some soul
    searching and decided that I hated myself and I was going to change.
    I did, I just wish I had done it earlier.  Much earlier.
    
    Sharon
    

    
    
    I did go to Woodstock ( 2 months pregnant) - I did not really
    like the movie "Peggy Sue got Married" I think I expected too much.
    
    _peggy
    		(-)
    		 |  did someone say rebellion....
    			not me ha ha ha ha ha rolling on the floor ha

    If I could have a second chance, knowing what I know now, I'd never
    drop out of University, which I did after completing one year only
    (I was in a French university and needed 4 years to get a diploma).
    
    What I know now is that I entered the market place for a job when
    I was 19, with no qualifications whatsoever: as a result I got
    underpaid, overworked and also bored to death by the sort of jobs
    I found.
    
    Even now, 13 years later, I still feel limited in my search for
    more interesting jobs by my lack of formal higher education...
    
    However, if given the choice, I wouldn't go back for anything, imagine
    being young and miserable again, instead of middle-aged and almost
    contented!        
    
    Joana

    re .0 I would have studied different things, such as karate and
    philosophy, at a much earlier, more useful age :-)/2 . And i
    never would have touched pot. Oh well, experience is the
    only school, period.
    
    Dana

    	The question, "If you could go back to when ... and change your
    life based on what you know no, would you," has but one answer,
    in my opinion, if your happy with who you are now - NO.  Each one
    of us is the product of our life's experiences.  To change the
    experiences would change the resulting individual.
    
    	I am far from perfect - ask anyone who knows me!  But I like
    who I am, for the most part.  I like even more the experiences along
    the path I took to get me where I am.  Some of the experiences were
    very painful - divorce, loss of both parents, etc. - and others
    were quite positive - finding my daughter after an 18 year search,
    living in India, marriage, etc. - all were learning experiences.
    
    	What would be the impact to the present of changing any of the
    past?  Whatever it would be, I would rather not find out.
    
    Douglas

    Re:18
    
    Yes! I was speaking with a friend this morning about the same thoughts!
    We were talking about a recent major change in my life and we were
    agreeing that who we are is a result of the experiences we've gone
    through - painful, joyful, good, or bad. Some of the experiences
    are "bridges" from one state of mind or situation to another, and
    are necessary to prepare you for the next step. For example if you
    end one relationship, you may go through a lonely period before
    you are lucky enough to find another special person, but you may
    also learn a great deal about yourself during that time you spend
    alone.
    
    I do find that the few times that I do look back and say "I wish
    I had..." are usually times that I'm not as happy with the ways
    things are now, as I'd like to be. An exception is the fact that
    I do sometimes wish I had spent more time studying various topics
    (i.e. Anthropology, religion, finance, etc.) and practicing various
    skills/interests (i.e. painting, printing, writing poetry, etc.)
    over the years. But it's never too late!! My sister-in-law is 41
    and just went back to school to study something she's been interested
    in for years!! 

    When you think of the events in your life and how one single one
    can effect so many others it is indeed fortunate that we do not
    have the opportunity to change our life.  
    
    I would clearly like to have not married the man I did....but I
    wouldn't have the children I have.  That in itself makes the experience
    worthwhile.
    
    As someone said we are the sum of our experiences and if we are
    happy at this point in time we cannot change our past.
    
    It is easy to forget the pain and dwell on the happy times.

    I suspect that if I went back and did it all again, I'd do, in some
    fashion, precisely what I did the first time around.  Not only do
    life's experiences shape who we are, but we shape our life's
    experiences by virtue of who we are.  I certainly mumbled and bumbled
    along with the best of them, but 95% of the time I was being true
    to my Self (even if I didn't know her at the time).
    
    Most of the things I look back on and say "Gee, I wish..." are things
    I wish other folks in my young life had done.  I wish my parents
    had had more of a taste for travelling, for instance.  We never
    went _anywhere_ on vacations (my dad never took vacations) and this
    reinforced some of my own stick-in-the-mud leanings.  I have travelled
    a lot more since leaving home, but to this day I am not what anyone
    could call a "good traveller."
    
    Marcia

================================================================================
Note 99.23           if you could do it all again would you?            23 of 23
VINO::EVANS                                          10 lines  28-OCT-1987 10:56
                            -< It's like this..... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have made the same journey
    from "then" to "now" to learn what it is that I now know.
    
    So I'd have learned something *else* which I didn't know then, but
    I  now know.
    
    So there.  :-)
    
    Dawn
    

RE: -.1

Huh? Whazat??? :-)

I don't think that I actually want to go back and do things differently... There
are a lot of things that I didn't do that I wish I had, or vice versa, but I
would balk at actually going back and changing them, because I don't want to
change me.

What I'd really like is the chance to go back now, and 'make good' my mistakes.
I'd really like to go back and apologize to a few people, and say 'I really am
sorry about what happened; that was really dumb, and I hope that you can
overcome it, and forgive me.'

Jim. 

    I was speaking to someone today about a recent change I made in
    my life out of *choice*, but not out of *preference*. What I mean
    is that I knew I had to make the change because the situation wasn't
    fulfilling, but I wish that the situation could have been better.
    Anyway, this person said that I should remember that the end of one
    experience in our lives can often and hopefully be the beginning of
    new and better experiences. I found this comforting and feel lucky
    in that I have had several positive experiences as a result of my
    decision. Of course changes are not always positive, and even
    the positive changes often have some sadness and pain attached.
    But this is one change and decision I don't regret, even with the
    pain that was involved.

    Well, I think I just learned something.  I read the replies to this
    note, and the entire time I was anxious to get to the end so I could
    itemize the loooong list of things I would do differently.  I've
    made my share of mistakes you see, maybe more than my share.
    
    Then, as I started to type, the realization hit me like a ton of
    bricks!  If I had (for example) not married my first husband and stayed
    in that marriage for 10 years before admitting failure, I wouldn't have
    been single in 1985 and therefore able to relocate with Digital to
    Alabama where I met the wonderful man I'm married to now!  As I mulled
    over the other items on the list that 5 minutes ago I was *sure* I'd
    change, the same sort of realization hit me on nearly every one! 
    
    Guess I'm happier than I realized with the path I've taken to get to
    where I am now.  If I had chosen a different path, and made fewer
    mistakes, I'd have ended up in a different place.
    
    							Pat