| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 52.1 | Groups... | RSTS32::TABER | | Wed Aug 06 1986 13:53 | 29 |
| Holly, I've been reading and rereading your note and I just wanted
to say that I think you're right.... The workshops are a good idea..
I haven't taken one myself, but I can't think of a better way to
slug away at some of the haunts from my past that I simply CAN'T
let go of.... something that well-meaning men in my life can't seem
to understand, mostly because THEY'VE caused most of them...
My MAIN objection, I guess, would be opening up my more vulnerable
spots to strangers. One-to-one with a therapist is okay because
I've got a guaranteed time investment promised and I can take as
long as I need. Those weekend, tho' sound like they might force
issues that I wouldn't be ready to expose.
I'm gun-shy about it because a few years ago I went thru some VERY
intense times with some friends who were out to cure my worst woes
and they tried it by some pretty strong manipulations that I finally
pushed back against... Looking back on it now it seemed a strange
and unwanted attempt at Group Therapy, with them being the therapists
and ME being the group.
Even now I can't drop the shields enough to speak with them because
I am just PLAIN MAD! Still... and it's been nearly 3 years....
Their attentions were unwanted and unappreciated, and when I didn't
respond the way they wanted, they flamed back at me!
I will admit that at that point I was very vulnerable and probably
SEEMED open to it....
bugsy
|
| 52.2 | Mutual agreement is a key to making it work | MTV::HENDRICKS | Holly Hendricks | Thu Aug 07 1986 15:40 | 39 |
| Your point is well taken.
That type of therapy is a tool which needs to be used by mutual
agreement only. I don't think it is something which should ever
be done TO someone against their wishes. In a workshop like Opening
the Heart the tools are presented, people are encouraged to
participate, and staff people are always available to help, but the
individual chooses what she will or will not do.
I was certain that I would choose not to participate in many of
the sessions when I was preparing to go to my first workshop. I
was sure that I had no interest in making a fool of myself in front
of a group of strangers. This may sound odd, but one of the most
surprising parts of the workshop was seeing 30 people sitting in
pairs (dyads) with one listening and the other answering the question
"Tell me how you feel". After five minutes almost every one of
the 15 people who were talking were sobbing or screaming or pounding
on pillows and yelling "NO" (or some variation thereof). I realized
that everyone there struggled with the same stuff I do, and I finally
started letting some of mine out after 29 years.
After the exercise was over, almost everyone in the room looked
lighter and softer and more open. The other powerful aspect of
that exercise was that after 5-8 minutes working, the people switch
roles and the person who was listening works while the person who
was working listens (or "witnesses"). From that I learned that
I don't have to spend my life being identified with my pain. I
can get into it, work on it, and step back from it. I can be there
for someone else, and then I can get back into my pain and fear.
(Finding that out made me much more willing to keep working on it.)
Bugsy, I hope you find a form that works for you. I hope you can
find a way to let all those well-intentioned people in your life
know that you know what's good for you, and you will make decisions
about what happens to you. It sounds like individual therapy is
very useful.
holly
|
| 52.3 | Opening the Heart | USMRM3::GILLARD | | Thu Aug 28 1986 11:44 | 10 |
| How startling to read about Spring Hill on the tube here at work.
I went to an Open The Heart weekend this past February, and the
only way I can describe it is that it was the most difficult and
(in many ways) the most wonderful weekend ever. What I learned
there will always be with me, and has changed my life in many ways.
I did hear that Spring Hill is having financial problems...do you
have any info regarding that? What a terrible loss it would be
if Spring Hill were no more.
|
| 52.4 | | ESPN::HENDRICKS | Holly Hendricks | Thu Aug 28 1986 19:04 | 11 |
| Spring Hill is trying to buy the property where they are currently
running the workshops, and from what I understand the expenses involved
are enormous for such a small business which is devoted to keeping
the costs of the workshops down to be accessible to middle and low
income people.
If you want to help, the best way is to tell your friends about
the workshops. They provide the main revenues for operating and
some towards purchasing the property.
If you want more information, send me mail.
|
| 52.5 | Sexual Abuse Workshops | MTV::HENDRICKS | Holly Hendricks | Wed Sep 03 1986 12:15 | 18 |
| I just found out that some friends of mine who are therapists are
going to offer some workshops for women who have been sexually abused,
either as children or as adults. Both daylong and weekend workshops
will be offered.
They will also be offering workshops for partners (one for male
partners, one for female partners) of women who have been sexually
abused.
The workshops involve writing, talking, listening and supporting
one another. I went to a similar workshop a few years ago, and
recommend it HIGHLY for women with histories of sexual abuse.
The women who are running the workshops are very skilled and very
caring. Carol diGianni, in Lexington (862-3426) can give more
information about dates, costs and locations for anyone who might
be interested.
|