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Conference turris::womannotes-v1

Title:ARCHIVE-- Topics of Interest to Women, Volume 1 --ARCHIVE
Notice:V1 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:873
Total number of notes:22329

20.0. "Women threatening to Women?" by --UnknownUser-- () Sun May 11 1986 21:21

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20.1Insufficient dataRAINBO::HARDYMon May 12 1986 14:3118
Firstly, I echo the remarks of the genderless q, and urge you to provide
further details.

Secondly, I would ask that among the details you give us, you indicate
what conclusions you have drawn so far, and why.  This is very important.
I have occasionally (rarely) seen instances where people read too much,
or too little, into the reactions of others.  I trust you have watched
closely, and are sure this is a specific reaction, not a "generic" one?

There *are* turkeys here and there, and at least once I had to
explain to somebody "No, so-and-so treats *everybody* like dirt".

After three years, you probably know...still, after three years, perhaps
it would be wise to reassess.  Certainly discussing it in this forum is
a good step.

Pat
20.3Any of these look familiar?RAINBO::HARDYTue May 13 1986 14:0629
Okay.  In the absence of further details then, I can toss out some
things I've noticed, and you can take it for what it's worth. Could
this problem fall into one of the following catagories?

(1)  When women occupy administrative positions their work is often
     denigrated by others as quasi-secretarial rather than taken on
     the same par as their male colleagues.  This makes them hyper
     sensitive about any implied criticism of their job.  You, sad
     to say, are probably an implied criticism.  You probably make
     more money as a principal engineer than this person (or people)
     you are having trouble with, and that is an affront, especially
     if you are younger.

(2)  Secondly, there is the issue of expectation.  Some women
     expect women engineers to wear jeans and tennis shoes, and
     those who look otherwise are frippery and lightweight.  Other
     women expect them to look feminine, and those who look otherwise
     are unkempt and unprofessional.  And then, in a very few cases,
     some are convinced you got where you are by wearing nothing at
     all, and nothing convinces them otherwise.

(3)  Also, since people are mammals, you will be saddled with any
     dysfunctional mother/daughter games; likewise, because women
     occupy the lower-paid teaching positions, any bad experiences
     with elementary or high school teachers.

Pat

    
20.4WISHFXENG1::VENUSTue Oct 14 1986 18:073
    IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE YOU WROTE YOUR NOTE. I REALLY HOPE THINGS
    HAVE GOTTEN BETTER FOR YOU.
    				VENUS
20.6I'm puzzled...VIKING::TARBETMargaret MairhiThu Oct 16 1986 10:213
    Why does it sound "too much like failure"?  Failure on whose part?
    
    					=maggie