Conference yukon::christian_v7

726.0. "If All Sins Had an Odor...." by TOLKIN::JBROWN (The just shall live by faith.) Wed May 10 1995 09:58

	If All Sins Had an Odor, Purity Might Be Attainable
        ---------------------------------------------------
	    by Robert Kirby - Salt Lake Tribune 4-29-95
		   [Reprinted without permission]

	Twenty years ago, I was waiting for a bus on a street
	corner in South America with three other LDS missionaries.
	Just as the bus arrived, an old man came scurrying up
	to the stop carrying an enormous load. In his mouth was
	a freshly lighted cigarette. During the jostling to board
	the bus, the cigarette was knocked out of his mouth. He
	stood there with his arms full, staring disconsolately
	at his lost smoke.

	At the time that it happened, I remember thinking
	"bummer". I was only about 18 months off of a bad
	cigarette habit myself and so I knew exactly how the
	old guy was feeling. That's when I did something
	awful. I bent down, picked up the cigarette, and stuck
	it back in his mouth. He thanked me.

	I sat next to the old guy on the bus. He told me that
	he was working to support his son's family because his son
	had been arrested years before by the military and
	hadn't been seen since. The only other thing I remember
	about him was that he had a grandson named Ernesto,
	a soccer player, who could run like the wind.

	This isn't the kind of gospel story that you'll find
	in a church magazine. I didn't baptize this guy. He
	didn't run up to me on Temple Square 20 years later to
	tell me that I changed his life and he now was an LDS
	mission president. He probably worked himself into
	the ground and died of cancer a committed Catholic and
	family man.

	The moral of this story was that I got in trouble with
	the zone leaders. They were mad that I had "disgraced
	the church" by picking up the guy's cigarette. They
	said it gave the people who saw me do it the wrong idea
	about Mormons, the Word of Wisdom and probably the
	Republican Party. As punishment, they sent me to labor
	in the dreaded Labios de Perro, where I fooled them and
	had a great time instead.

	It's no secret that Mormons are down on smoking. So down,
	in fact, that we've made smoking a sin equivalent to 
	child molestation and liberal politics. It's not hard
	to sniff out a smoker or a drinker in a crowd of Mormons
	because the smell conflicts with the predominant odors
	in an LDS chapel: baby lotion, dry cleaning and bad
	breath.

	It's too bad that other "sins" don't smell as strongly
	as tobacco. Christians probably wouldn't be so smug if
	they did. Smoking might even become the minor problem
	that it is if intolerance and arrogance simply smelled
	like a dead cat.

	How about being selfish? What if being stingy and mean
	smelled like, oh, say the dump? Or, better yet, raw
	sewage? How would you like to sit next to someone in
	church with a chain-stingy habit?

	What if impure thoughts smelled like you had a 3-week-old
	carp hanging around your neck? You could, I suppose, tell
	your wife that the smell came from being with your friends
	instead of your own impure thoughts. And if gullibility
	smelled like garlic or a wet dog, you'd know immediately
	if she believed you.

	Even sniffing these smells could get you in trouble. It
	could lead to passing judgment on others. Things could
	really get confusing if being judgemental smelled like
	spoiled milk. The smokers would be laughing at us.

	The best we can hope for is that God has a better nose
	than we do.

	Robert Kirby
	-------------------------------------------------

	from Rich Hannon ([email protected])

	There is a columnist in the Salt Lake Tribune Religion Section
	that I enjoy very much named Robert Kirby. He is LDS [Mormon] but far
	from "party line" in his views. His column last week was one of his
	best so, since he had an email address, I wrote to him asking his
	permission to post the column here. He gratiously consented. I hope
	you like it as much as I did. 

> I hope you like it as much as I did. 

I did.  That was great.  Thanks for posting it.

Paul

Me too, Janet, much appreciated, thanks!

								Andrew

Yes, me too.  Leslie.

    Enjoyable, encouraging and convicting.

hee, hee, hee

Thanks for the laugh, Ray

Paul