Conference yukon::christian_v7

    What are the responsibilities of our parents?  How does God and
    spirituality align with our nurturing.
    
    The Bible says that children should be raised in the "nurture and
    admonition" of the Lord.  What does this mean?  How does the church who
    is always described as the "bride" or female to God fit in to this
    nurturing?
    
    Fatherhood is a very important part of parenting.  Fatherhood is a very
    important part of our Spirituality.  Without proper parenting, and
    including "fatherhood" we are raising a generation of severly
    dysfunctional children.  As a matter of fact, I will even claim that
    without proper fathering it is almost impossible to raise a healthy
    minded child.
    
    The Bible has stated that the sins of the Father or the "attitudes" are
    passed from generation to generation.  If a father does not affirm his
    children, then they will not affirm their children.  The Bible has also
    stated that a father's heart is important to the direction of a nation.
    
    Malachi 4:5  Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the
    coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD:
      6  And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and
    the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth
    with a curse.
    
    In a Christian men's conference 2 questions were asked to a group of
    800 men.  The first question was:
    
    1.  How many of you had your fathers as your primary teacher about sex?
    
    Out of 800 men only 8 raised their hands.
    
    2.  How many of you had your fathers as your primary teacher about
    spirituality or God?
    
    Only 2 raised their hands.
    
    

    Darla is 32 years old and been divorced 3 times.  She has gone from bed
    to bed with many different men and felt her life on a spiral downward.
    Carla was raised in a Christian home.  Carla herself had known Christ
    as Savior.  But Carla felt powerless to live out her Christian faith.
    
    Having finally reached the bottom, she called a Pastor in Dallas, Texas
    for counseling.  He began to probe her background and upbringing to see
    where things began to go wrong in Darla's life.  In this probing, Darla
    remembered an event that to many may seem harmless but to her was a
    very powerful and altered the course of her life.
    
    Darla was 16 years old and was getting ready for her very first date
    without a chaperone.  Her mother had helped her with her dress and her
    make up and Darla felt beautiful.  This was an important night for
    Darla, it was a time of transformation from Daddy's little girl, to a
    young woman going to be with another "man".  Up until this night, the
    only man in Darla's life had been her father.  
    
    After she'd finished dressing, Darla bounced down the stairs and paused
    as she saw her father reading the newspaper in the living room.  It was
    only a few minutes before her escort was to arrive.  She walked in
    front of her father, with her face all aglow, held the hems of her
    dress with both hands, did a twirl and said, "Daddy, what do you
    think?"  
    
    Her father, grunted and said something unintelligible.  She twirled
    again and asked again, "Daddy, what do you think?"  Her father mumbled
    something again and never put the newspaper down.  The doorbell rang
    and disappointed Darla left with her date.
    
    Mother had helped her dress had nurtured her up until the point of
    being let go of for protection and affirmation from her father.  But
    instead of her father's affirmation, she got nothing.  
    
    It was at this point, that Darla began looking in men to provide her
    with the affirmation she never received from her father.
    
    The Pastor then asked Darla if she knew that it was important and
    Biblical to bring her father in to confront him with this and get it
    right.  Darla had been harboring this bitterness for some time.  She
    agreed.
    
    The father agreed wholeheartedly and wanted to help his daughter.  The
    very next day with her Pastor, Darla began to reveal to her father the
    confusion and bitterness of that day.  She started out by saying, "Dad,
    you may not remember this.."  Darla's father's eyes filled with tears
    and he said, "I remember it like it was yesterday.  I may even remember
    it more vividly than yourself."  
    
    As they began to reconcile and as she looked at her father and asked,
    "Why?", it wasn't long before they had determined that his father had
    never affirmed him.
    
    
    

    Darla's father had never been affirmed by his father and he propogated
    the same with his own child.  He exclaimed his "fear" at that time in
    Darla's life and how he didn't know "how to" react to it.  
    
    A mother's responsbility is to give birth and then to nurture that
    baby.  A mother had breasts and a man has a chest.  A mother provides
    the nurturing.  When the mother weans that baby then she hands it to
    the father for provision and protection.  When the father has done his
    part and the child is now grown, he must hand the child over to God's
    care.
    
    The church, the corporate church today represents the "bride" or the
    female side of God.  Propogating the birth of new Christians should be 
    the primary function of the church and then to provide nourishment for 
    the young Christian to grow.  And then it is the church's function to 
    turn that young Christian over to the Father [God] or the husband of 
    the Bride if you will for protection and provision.
    
    
    

    I've been abused by males more often in my life than I care to admit.  
    I was sexually abused by my father beginning at a young enough age for
    me to permanently have a warped sense of what men are to women.
    
    As a woman, I played "victim" so well that I enabled men to see me as 
    an easy target of abuse.  I also began to see God in the same vein as
    my earthly father.  I believed God to be loving, yet abusive because he
    let me be born to this family.  
    
    Up until 4 years ago, at age 32, did I begin to accept God as my 
    "Father" and was happy to restore my relationship with Him, which in 
    turn helps me to restore my "attitude" toward myself and men.  It's 
    rather healing being able to bring myself to my "Father" in Heaven...and 
    recognize that not all "men" are oppressive and limiting towards my
    femininity.
    
    I've known about Psalms 27:10 since the day I received Christ as
    Savior.  I even claimed it as my verse for since then.  But I begun to
    live it 4 years ago in a way that I never dreamed possible.
    
    Nancy

    I believe that if the hearts of the "fathers" in this world would turn
    towards their children, we'd lift the curse that has befallen us today.  
    
    Yes, I believe we are living in a cursed nation where parents rise
    against their children and children will rise against their parents. 
    The family is all but destroyed around this country today.  
    
    The American dream was once, family, house and car.  I wonder if we
    were to take a poll today, just what would be the "American Dream".
    I dare imagine it to be that Johnny doesn't do drugs or join a gang.
    
    Nancy

    Hmmm...thanks for starting this Nancy.  I've had some things I was
    going to say and was looking for just such a topic.  I'll make this
    more of a summary and add more later.
    
    As most of you know my dad died on December 11th.  My dad has given me
    a great deal of advise over the years, but the greatest thing he gave
    me was the example of his life.  We always went to church.  But there
    is a vast difference between my father before I was 6yrs old and after
    that time.  My dad was raised in church and even taught Sunday school. 
    But his life outside church didn't match up to the example we heard
    about in church.  When I was 6yrs old that changed.  My dad, under the
    guidance of a new pastor who strongly advocated the gospel and of the
    Holy Spirit, became a christian.  What a difference!  In my father I
    have seen an unconditional love lived out.  I have seen gentleness in
    the midst of strength.  I have seen the bible applied fully to his
    life.  I have seen the joy that abounds from knowing God.  I have seen
    a life free of the emotional baggage people carry around.  His whole
    life became a Christ-like example to me.  My life has been blessed
    because of my upbringing and the knowledge it lead me to of a holy,
    just, and loving God with whom I have a relationship through the
    finished work of Christ.
    
    Jill
    
    P.S.  Heavenly Father, give my dad a hug for me.  :-)
     

    Did Darla's father ever say why he ignored her on that night of her
    first date?

    The answer is in .3.

    He was rejecting his responsibility of protection?

    >He exclaimed his "fear" at that time in
    >Darla's life and how he didn't know "how to" react to it.
    
    He had never been affirmed by his own father.  He didn't know how to
    let his 16 year old daughter grow up and validate that it was okay for
    her to grow up and not be daddy's little girl anymore, but Dad's young
    woman.
    
    He was fearful of her changes... The fear was not overcome.

    
    I'd like to share an excerpt from a letter I wrote my dad back in
    January 1993.  It contains an idea I'm not sure I've shared here
    before.  Maybe it holds the key for how you relate or related to 
    your Heavenly Father.
    
     		   Dedicated in memory of George Kinsella
    		    April 18, 1927 to December 11, 1994
    
    ..."Dad, I want you first to know that I love you.  Not for what you 
    do for me, but because of who you are.  There are many people in this
    world who can't look up to their fathers, I'm not one of them.  Thank
    you for being the example that Gods wants you to be.  It's helped me
    immensely.  Recently, I heard of a professor who gave his students a
    survey at the beginning of the year about their fathers.  After he
    took them from the students, he didn't talk about it again.  The 
    students soon forgot about it.  At the end of the year, he gave them
    another survey to fill out about God with the same exact questions.
    He found that there was a direct correlation between how they felt
    about God due to how they viewed their father.  I thank you that I
    know how much my Heavenly Father loves me and takes care of me
    because of the example I've seen in your life."...
    
    Jill

    .11
    
    Amen, Jill.  This is the key to many unhappy Christian walks; the
    understanding of God, the *Father*.
    
    Love in Him,
    Nancy

    Jill,

	thanks for the pointer to here, and even more so - thanks for
	posting this here.

	I teared up reading through this.

	I praise God for the Godly father that you were privileged to know.
	
	I Praise God that He is able to show all His children Himself,
	oft-times _in spite_ of the failings of our earthly fathers.

	Father God, I pray that You will shine so much through me to my
	children, that they will have a clearer understanding of You.

	'so may it be'

    
    A worthy endeavor Harry.  :-)
    
    Jill