T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
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541.1 | | DPDMAI::HUDDLESTON | If it is to be, it's up to me | Fri Aug 12 1994 14:14 | 15 |
| I agree that she needs to tell her husband. Its very hard to fess up
to something like that, but it sounds like she just wants people to
bail her out and never take any responsibility for her actions. I
agree that it sounds like if everyone keeps getting her out of the same
mess over and over again, she'll never stop getting into the
situations. She actually left that church? She may be afraid to tell
her husband what she's done, but take it from me that telling the truth
is better in the long run. Also sounds like she just wants to hear
that its ok, so that she'll feel better about doing it. I wouldn't
give her the money, but might tell her that if she was so afraid of
confronting her husband that I would go along with her if she wanted,
and help them plan a budget.
Just my opinion.
|
541.2 | | JULIET::MORALES_NA | Sweet Spirit's Gentle Breeze | Fri Aug 12 1994 14:27 | 6 |
| Pam,
Your thinking on this is correct. Don't bail her out.
Love,
Nancy
|
541.3 | | CSLALL::HENDERSON | Friend will you be ready? | Fri Aug 12 1994 14:48 | 9 |
|
What Nancy said..sounds like something serious going on, IMO.
Jim
|
541.4 | This may be too harsh for sensitive viewers | DELNI::DISMUKE | | Fri Aug 12 1994 15:48 | 15 |
| My girlfriend has a daughter who, after leaving home at 17, decided she
really did need mom after all...to bail her out! Mom and dad have both
decided to "teach the kid to fish" instead of throwing her the fish.
However, now their well-meaning Christian friends are giving the girl
handouts in the name of Christ. How does one stop it? My suggestion to
the SIL is if she can afford the $$ tell her she can have it, but she
has to be honest with her husband or by taking that $$ it gives the SIL
the right to tell the husband she took it. If your SIL can't afford to
give it then there is no issue here - just tell her NO. Sometimes we
have to treat adults like adults and expect them to act like adults.
This may be too harsh, but I really get peeved when people keep giving
/taking without learning what comes along with it.
-sandy
|
541.5 | | JULIET::MORALES_NA | Sweet Spirit's Gentle Breeze | Fri Aug 12 1994 15:49 | 4 |
| To bail folks out of their self-created problems such as this where
they have sinned in the process = "enabling".
|
541.6 | | CSOA1::LEECH | | Fri Aug 12 1994 16:17 | 13 |
| I've been through a similar situation (not directly, but a family
member). There is no simple solution, nor any good way out. All you
can do is base your decision on the facts of the situation, and what
you believe to be right in the big picture.
If you find yourself continually bailing this person out, then giving
more money will not likely help the situation. Be warned that failure
to help (after helping in the past) may bring about bitterness towards
you, regardless of how much help given in the past.
Just a few thoughts, and not really much help I know.
-steve
|
541.7 | | BIGQ::SILVA | Memories..... | Fri Aug 12 1994 16:18 | 15 |
|
My parents always made us bail ourselves out, as they wanted us to
learn from our mistakes. Unless it was an extreme emergency (like when my
sister seperated from her husband, but lived in Georgia, my parents flew her
and her kid up here, which in the end it worked out great as my sister did get
back with her husband) they say handle it yourself. In the long run it has
worked out better, as we think about going into something much more now than we
would if there was someone to bail us out. I think the suggestion of only
giving her the money if she confesses to her husband is the only way it should
be handled.
Glen
|
541.8 | | CSLALL::HENDERSON | Friend will you be ready? | Fri Aug 12 1994 16:22 | 13 |
|
I would go along with giving her the money if she confesses to her husband,
but NO WAY should it come from the Pastor.
(or did I misunderstand?)
JIm
|
541.9 | | CSC32::P_SO | Get those shoes off your head! | Fri Aug 12 1994 17:35 | 19 |
| Thanks for all of the replies. I have decided not to lend any
money and to suggest that my SIL do the same unless she does
confess to her husband. I want to be supportive but do not,
as Nancy says, enable the problem she has budgeting her money.
the Pastor would not be involved in this. The lady was
asking that the church give her the money that she would
later pay back. The Pastor said, "No, you have to live
with the decisions you have made and face the music." Or
something of that sort and yes she has decided to leave
that church.
Please pray for her that she would "come clean" and her
husband understand and that the Lord would lead them\
in the right direction together and help them handle
their money situation in a manner that is acceptable toHim.
Thanks everyone,
Pam
|
541.10 | | DECWET::WANG | | Fri Aug 12 1994 18:25 | 20 |
| I am going to throw in my thoughts for considerations.
My wife has the problem of "manic-depressive psychosis", a kind of chemical
imbalance. Whe she gets high, spending money without control is one of the
major sympton. Before we got married when she was staying in my now SIL's
house, my SIL has to take away all her money, credit cards etc. so that she does
not have anything in hand to spend.
What I am saying is she may have much deeper and uncontrollable problem than a
good budget plan. I am wondering why she is not going for counselling with her
husband. She seems to ask people to bail her out everything other than just
money and she has the habbit of lying.
Stop bailing her out and set boundary may be the way to push her back to deal
with her real problem. But I think at the same time she really needs help to
identify and deal with the real problem. Christian counselling or small support
group for her may be more important. And last but the foremost of course is
to pray for her.
Wally
|
541.11 | chemicals vs. sin | NACAD::WIEBE | Garth Wiebe | Mon Aug 15 1994 03:06 | 45 |
| Re: .10 (Wally)
>My wife has the problem of "manic-depressive psychosis", a kind of chemical
>imbalance. Whe she gets high, spending money without control is one of the
>major sympton
This is the kind of thinking that originates with humanists who believe that
everything can be explained by the characteristics of the material universe,
that consequently humankind evolved from non-living matter (chemicals), and so
therefore all problems in humans can be reduced to chemical explanations (in
this case, "chemical imbalance").
For the humanist, all behavior is attributed to the flesh, so there is no
such thing as sin -- just chemicals that can be treated with anti-chemicals
to produce the desired effect.
I know of no chemical reaction that has the coded property "spending money
without control", and I seriously doubt that any psychiatrist could come up
with one, either.
To be sure, chemicals affect our moods and emotional temperament, and it is
quite possible that our moods and emotional temperament affect our chemicals,
too. But regardless of the weaknesses of our corrupt flesh, there is no excuse
for sin.
>What I am saying is she may have much deeper and uncontrollable problem than a
>good budget plan.
The root of the problem must be a spiritual one, then. Regardless of our
chemicals, self-control is necessary to not allow the flesh free reign over
our lives. Chemicals do not decide "I will buy this item", to reduce our
accountability for responsible money management, any more than chemicals in
Eve decided "I will eat this fruit", regardless of how "good...pleasing...
desirable" (Gen 3:6) it looked to her. Otherwise there would be no sin and
we would be forced to conclude that Christ died in vain.
The root solution must be a spiritual one, then, too. Whatever you do, don't
go the superficial route of blaming and treating flesh (chemicals) as the
root problem, before you have dealt with the spiritual issue. Such would
not be better than taking the superficial route of satisfying the desires of
the flesh (handing out money).
Some food for thought: How many physicians and disaster-relief agencies would
it have taken to relieve Job of his suffering? And this man was righteous,
whereas the woman as described in the base of this note is not.
|
541.12 | | BIGQ::SILVA | Memories..... | Mon Aug 15 1994 09:54 | 19 |
|
Garth, I can't believe you wrote that. I know a friend of mine that
went overboard on religion, because of a chemical imbalance. The imbalance
causes one to <insert act>. It can be anything. In the noter who you addressed
case, it was an uncontrolable urge to spend. In my friends case it was
overboard on religion. Others it could be anything. The way my friend explained
it to me until the thirst is quenched, then they need to keep doing whatever it
is to satisfy their thirst. Since he has been on medication, he has really done
well. He now has a well balance of God, who is still very important in his
life, and he has involved his wife in with it as well. A MUCH happier human
being is he, and his wife is much happier as well. Is this humanism? No, it's
reality. Could it be that God helped us find this stuff out and gave us the
means to help people like this? That's my belief.
Glen
|
541.13 | Ignorance is bliss, I guess. | DELNI::DISMUKE | | Mon Aug 15 1994 10:10 | 7 |
| Garth,
I pray you never have/know a child with ADD!!!
-s
|
541.14 | | AIMHI::JMARTIN | | Mon Aug 15 1994 10:36 | 35 |
| This brings up an interesting topic. The idea that some ailments are
of the flesh and some are of spiritual matter. It is obvious that the
man at the Gadarenes did not have Attention Deficit Disorder. He was
posessed by many demons. Yet a man with the palsy was cured but was
not posessed. Also the lepers and the blind were not posessed but
the woman with a lifetime of bleeding was posessed (Who touched my
garment??) At least I believe she was posessed.
Not to digress but suffice to say that my belief that alcoholics,
gamblers, and money spenders DO NOT have a physical ailment. These
types of things are addictions, pure and simple. I think there can be
a place for twelve step programs; but overall, I believe these these
types of things have sin as a root cause. Hey, there are things I need
to flee from also. I cast no judgements on this woman.
If you see her soon; explain to her that these are exhortations made to
build her character, not judgements. She will never be cured from this
addiction or habit until she admits to herself that her impulses need
to be dealt with. Just like a newly saved individual admits their need
for reconciliation with God through the cross. Without it, there is no
hope.
You may also want to suggest she go back to her former church and
reconcile with her Pastor...that is if that incident was the only thing
that made her leave. She may also want to use the pastor as a mediator
in this whole thing. It may help both she and the husband to better
communicate.
Bottom line, if she doesn't admit to herself she is undisciplined in
this area, she will continue down the slippery slope and her life will
completely fall apart.
In Christ,
-Jack
|
541.15 | | JULIET::MORALES_NA | Sweet Spirit's Gentle Breeze | Mon Aug 15 1994 12:09 | 29 |
| Actually there is a lot of merit in what Garth wrote. We've gotten
into the habit of shifting blame in this country and I believe it boils
down "childhood".
We now blame our childhood for everything. And if we aren't blaming
someone else, then we're taking on someone elses sin and carrying too
much on our shoulders.
Accountability is paramount in our Christian walk. If we have a sin
problem then let's look at the sin and not blame someone else for *our*
behavior. If you feel oppression, look for the cause. It just maybe
that while you aren't in sin, you are carrying a load that is not your
own.
Accountability is paramount in the world as well. Why? Because while
we continue to look for chemical imbalances, abusive childhoods, there
are a whole host of people reeking violence on our nation.
The Menendez brothers come to mind here. As well as the thousands of
gangs across the nation. Their homes are broken, therefore they break
their hostility out on everyone else.
My Pastor says that adversity reveals who a person is, not makes them
who they are. I think I agree.
And I also tell my children, "Good character= When everyone else does
wrong, you do right."
|
541.16 | | CSOA1::LEECH | | Mon Aug 15 1994 12:17 | 9 |
| I also think compulsions are of a spiritual nature, especially when
they lead to things mentioned by the base-noter (lying, avoidance,
causing trouble in a relationship). The great deceiver uses these
things to ruin lives.
Food for thought, anyway.
-steve
|
541.18 | | LEVERS::WIEBE | Garth Wiebe | Mon Aug 15 1994 13:21 | 6 |
| Re: .15 (Nancy)
> My Pastor says that adversity reveals who a person is, not makes them
> who they are. I think I agree.
I know I agree.
|
541.19 | | BIGQ::SILVA | Memories..... | Mon Aug 15 1994 13:45 | 22 |
| | <<< Note 541.15 by JULIET::MORALES_NA "Sweet Spirit's Gentle Breeze" >>>
| We now blame our childhood for everything. And if we aren't blaming someone
| else, then we're taking on someone elses sin and carrying too much on our
| shoulders. Accountability is paramount in our Christian walk. If we have a
| sin problem then let's look at the sin and not blame someone else for *our*
| behavior.
Nancy, what you say makes absolute sense. Let's not blame someone else
for the problems we have caused. But let's not discount something that is the
root of the problem because it is physical. We should be looking for the truth
to everything. If the truth is that a chemical imbalance is causing someone to
do something out of the ordinary (remember, it does not mean they are sinning),
then call it just that. If someone lies because they are afraid of facing the
truth, then call it as that. Take responsibility for things we have done, but
look for the root cause(s).
Glen
|
541.20 | | ODIXIE::HUNT | | Mon Aug 15 1994 14:03 | 14 |
| I remember James Dobson talking about his mom having a chemical
imbalance, after she had gone through menopause. I don't remember all
of the details, but I do know that he said that once she started taking
estrogen, that he condition cleared up.
I agree that too often today, doctors try to find a physical problem,
where the problem may not be physical at all. On the other hand, there
ARE cases where chemical imbalances can cause/contribute to irrational
thinking/behavior. I would think that those with first hand knowledge
of the situation would be able to best determine what the problem is.
Love in Christ,
Bing
|
541.21 | Sin causes most of it, but... | FRETZ::HEISER | Maranatha! | Mon Aug 15 1994 14:07 | 5 |
| I agree with Bing, everything in balance. Today's society is on a
perpetual dysfunctional witch hunt, but in the case of menopause (or
even PMS), the chemical imbalance is real.
Mike
|
541.22 | So What If Its 'Chemical'??? | YIELD::BARBIERI | | Mon Aug 15 1994 14:19 | 20 |
| Hi,
Not to discount the extra 'pull' caused by a chemical imbalance,
but would not chemicals be part of the flesh and does not the
word say that the flesh can be crucified, that if we walk in
the Spirit we won't obey the lusts of the flesh, and that where
sin abounds grace does much more abound?
To blame the flesh for the cause of temptation is entirely
scriptural. BUT, to then say the temptation to resist is
impossible because it resides in the flesh is entirely
unscriptural. Paul consistently points to the flesh as the main
source of pull to sin and instead of saying its impossible to
resist, he points to a greater pull than the flesh, i.e. "the
love of Christ constraineth [motivates] us."
I do believe in balance though. After all, with imperfect faith,
we are not fully connected to the source of grace.
Tony
|
541.23 | some thoughts about "cause" | DREUL1::rob | depending on His love | Tue Aug 16 1994 05:41 | 117 |
| I have not read this note, so some of this might have already been said...
I think that there are several sources of behavioral problems.
1) Nature
We have all been created wonderfully unique. But, it's still a mystery
to me just how much of "who I am" is controlled by these inborn tend-
encies, and how much comes from #2 below.
The other essential part of our nature is, sin. We are all born sin-
ners, and we "go astray" from birth. We sin because we are sinners.
It's a curse that has passed on all mankind because of Adam's sin, and
only Christ can break the curse, freeing us from the penalty and the
slavery of sin.
2) Conditioning
This is simply the fact that all of us, throughout our lives, have
practiced certain behaviors, and ways to react to stress, etc., some
of which being based on our natural tendencies/weaknesses/strengths.
The biblical answer being: take off the "old man" (also called the
flesh) who is corrupt and sinful; and put on the "new man" who has
been created by God in true holiness.
Some would call this process sanctification, but regardless of what
term you use to describe it; it is the process by which God, via
the Holy Spirit and His Word being applied to our lives, cleanses us
from the old man. The end result being perfection, ie being like
Jesus (whether you believe perfection comes when Jesus returns, or
before that, is irrelevant, since the end result is the same).
The problem with conditioning is that it is based on habit. Habits
are things, good or bad, that have become "second nature". In other
words, they are not part of our natural make-up, but they have become
so practiced that they appear to be totally "natural", even though
they are learned behaviors. They have become so ingrained, that we
need no concious thought to react/behave as we do.
This is where the behaviorists are right. Unfortunately, they make
a lot of other mistakes, because their basic presuppositions are de-
void of God and faith. They assume that the proper way to change the
person is re-conditioning, but they go about it by humanistic means,
and with humanistic goals.
The believer is convicted by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God, then
empowered by God's grace to take off the old man and to put on the new
man. Jay Adams calls this dehabituation/rehabituation. It is not
reconditioning, because reconditioning is changing habit patterns in
the old, unregenerated, man. What we are doing is learning how to walk
in the ways of the new man whom God created (past tense). God sees
the work finished, we are still in the process. The old man, having
been crucified with Christ and buried in baptism, no longer has dom-
inion, but his habits must be replaced by those of the new.
3) Physical
This would be chemical imbalances that can be healed, or treated. The
imbalance will tend to influence our moods. The behavioral problems
come because bad moods tend to encourage bad/selfish behavior. One
other cause would be a trauma (physical) of some sort, like a head
injury.
Extreme cases may produce hallucinations, both auditory and visual.
Varying degrees of odd behavior would be the result, because the
person's perception would be distorted.
Unfortunately, many doctors and psychiatrists use mood-altering drugs
on their patients. If the problem is an imbalance of some hormone, or
lack of certain vitamins, etc., the way to treat this is by supplemen-
ting the missing chemicals. In some cases, a simple change in diet
would work "wonders" (eg, some people react to sugar in the same way
others react to alcohol, and all they would have to do is avoid sugar).
Mood altering drugs should be avoided. All too often they are given
to a patient even though no chemical imbalance is present, and, even
if there were an imbalance, the drug does not treat, or alleviate it.
The sole purpose becomes "numbing" the patient, and not healing him.
The cause is never removed, and the problems will return. The only
situations in which the patient will appear to be helped are: when
there was a temporary chemical imbalance, which righted itself during
the "treatment" (it could happen, though, that the "cause" disappears,
but the treatment continued, masking the fact that the patient is no
longer sick).
I agree with Jay Adams that this is the only situation, ie chemical
imbalance or injury, where the term "mental illness" has any real
meaning. The patient is sick, and needs healing, or treatment.
There are also temporary mood swings associated with short term im-
balances. For example the changes that come from drinking alcohol.
Or, eating too much sugar which will result in a "high" with subseq-
uent "low". Or, hormonal changes like menstruation, pregnancy, meno-
pause, and for the men: mid-life crisis :-) :-)
4) Spiritual/Demonic
This is possession. ie A demon takes control of the person, *causing*
them to act in destructive ways, totally influencing the person. The
demon needs to be cast out.
I disagree with the doctrine that christians need deliverance from
demons, so this is only dealing with non-believers.
Unfortunately, many "charismatics" today (btw, I'm charismatic, but
I don't agree with this doctrine) look at "deliverance" much in the
same manner that some doctors/psychiatrists look at mood-altering
drugs. Deliverance becomes *the* answer to just about every problem.
ie The assumption is made that the problems are demonically caused,
therefore the answer is deliverance.
Many times the explanation for the "strong drive" to sin is based in
our conditioned "self" (see #2 above). There is no external force at
work. The internal force of habit is strong enough, and requires no
concious effort.
Rob
|
541.24 | | DNEAST::GOULD_RYAN | | Tue Aug 16 1994 08:40 | 21 |
|
To call chemical imbalances "the flesh" is a bit of a stretch. I
intended this note to be a flame, but the Lord threw water on me ;-)
Anyway, I know of a situation where a young lady had severe
neurochemical imbalances, yet the "church" she was in called it her
"flesh", sin in her life, etc to explain her severe depression. She
was suicidal, or at least had those tendencies, was abusing and
neglecting her very young children, and yet all this group could
do was try to play Christian psychologist with her and chalk it
up to her "flesh", that is, her sin nature.
Finally, by God's grace, she sought help from a Christian psychiatrist
who did prescribe medication for her. She is a changed woman, and I
mean for the better. This Christian psychiatrist also was involved at
one time with a group much like the one the young lady was involved
with so she helped her through that situation as well.
I wouldn't be too quick to broadly condemn the use of medication in
treating such illness. In some cases God has used it for His glory to
help His children. To simply say "it's the flesh" can invite disaster.
I know, I've seen it !!
RG
|
541.25 | | DREUL1::rob | Rob Marshall - Customer Service Dresden | Tue Aug 16 1994 09:44 | 19 |
| re .24 RG,
Did they actually test for a chemical imbalance and find one? Or did they just
prescribe one of the standard anti-depression drugs? Did the christian psy-
chiatrist also counsel the woman over a period of time? It might just be that
the woman finally got some good counsel, and the drugs themselves may not have
been the key to her recovery.
None the less, the church was probably only partially wrong. The problem comes
from people, even if they do have a chemical imbalance, developing certain be-
havioral patterns. In other words, the chemical imbalance may have been the
initial cause, but now it's practiced behavior, and there will need to be a
change in habits.
When it comes to depression, there are many things a person can do to help
alleviate it without drugs, even if there is some physical factor contributing
to the problem.
Rob
|
541.26 | Lots of power In The Cross | YIELD::BARBIERI | | Tue Aug 16 1994 09:46 | 38 |
| re: -1
Whoa!! Wait a minute! Did you really read my note?? I said
that because one's faith may not be perfect, I feel 'middle of
the road' about this.
I'm all for some medical treatments and oftentimes helping a
person in total bondage to sin when under some of these more
terrible circumstances.
To look at this from a different perspective, think of it from
the perspective of much more abounding grace. Yeah, I happen to
believe chemicals are part of the flesh. And yes, I do believe
that if faith is perfected, the lusts of the flesh are crucified.
I'm not saying you believe this, but your note (for me) is bad
news because it suggests that abounding grace is no match for
the flesh which has chemical imbalances.
The intent of my note was to suggest that abounding grace is
infinitely more motivating than even the pull of chemically
screwed up flesh. I suggest that IF (and that is a big if), the
eye of faith saw a certain fulness of the heart of Christ hung for
him and appreciated it for what it is, that person's mind would be
cleansed by the corresponding indwelling of Christ.
I am not here to diminish the awfulness of chemically screwed up
flesh. I worked at a mental hospital; I have seen several paranoid
schizophrenics and manic depressants. My entire intent was to
point to an abounding grace that is an ocean's worth of potential
motivating force while such flesh is perhaps in comparison a cup
of water.
"But to those who are being saved, the message of the cross is the
power of God."
Tony
|
541.27 | | DNEAST::GOULD_RYAN | | Tue Aug 16 1994 10:29 | 14 |
|
>Did they actually test for chemical imbalance and find one?
Yes.......
>Did the Christian psychiatrist counsel the woman over a period of
>time?
Yes
I believe that both were instrumental in her recovery. I also believe
that it was God's grace that the young lady got the help she needed. In
this case our Lord chose to use modern medicine.
RG
|
541.28 | | ICTHUS::YUILLE | Thou God seest me | Tue Aug 16 1994 12:29 | 80 |
| We've spread into various different related discussions here. From the
specific case Pam cited in .0, we've moved on to the possible source of the
problem (principally spiritual or physical / chemical), and potentially
effective areas of treatment.
I believe that we should be aware that, as hinted in Galatians 6:1-2, we are
all prone to fall into sin; all subject to temptation, and it is only God's
hand which protects us from being bowled over every which way by the enemy (as
per 1 Corinthians 10:13 - references not included are quoted at the end).
However, whatever the provocation or source / strength of the temptation, we
never have a watertight excuse for sinning. The onus on us is to withstand
temptation at all levels - bearing in mind the resources He places at our
disposal (Ephesians 1:19).
A good example of this is in Proverbs 6:30 :
"Men do not despise a thief is he steals to satisfy his hunger when he
is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it
costs him all the wealth of his house."
Temptation can seem to be destroying us (though we know that it will not, but
only seems to). But the spiritual strength built up by resisting, and
maintaining our integrity is of eternal value, while the hardship of
deprivation is only temporal.
So - even if the cause of a weakness was physical, the responsibility not to
sin remains with the individual. He entrusts us through such tests - they are
not a punishment, but a training up of spiritual strength in putting our faith
into action, as indicated in 1 Peter 1:6-7.
In the opposite way, succumbing to temptation leads to the progressive
deterioration indicated in James 1:14-15...
Meanwhile, quite where this impacts the 'sin' barrier is a matter for
individual care and consideration - discerning the attitudes of the heart, and
the wilingness or otherwise to accept responsibility for one's actions.
'Unwillingness to be responsible' seeming to me generally to be a more serious
problem than the individual resultant actions, where this does not impact
others morally... As I understand .0, there is an unwillingness to take
responsibility. In this sort of case, any temporary reprieve / gift / loan
removes any residual sense of responsibility, and any sense of it neediong to
be dealt with, as those who 'helped' are perceived as being potentially
responsible to deal with future crises - ie, once given a gift or loan, she
would be liable (on that basis) to plunge deeper into debt...
- Merely my agreement with the preceding conclusions people have offered, but
from another slant...
God bless - praying
Andrew
References :
============
Galatians 6:1-2 :
"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should
restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted."
1 Corinthians 10:13 :
"And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can
bear..."
Ephesians 1:19 :
"...His incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the
working of His mighty strength, which He exerted in Christ when He raised
Him from the dead..."
1 Peter 1:6-7 :
"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had
to suffer grief in all sorts of trials. These have come so that your faith
- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -
may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus
Christ is revealed."
James 1:14-15 :
"Each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire he is dragged away and
enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and sin,
when it is full-grown, gives birth to death
|
541.29 | | CSC32::P_SO | Get those shoes off your head! | Tue Aug 16 1994 12:36 | 15 |
| Thank you all -
My SIL talked to her friend and explained that she would lend
the money as long as she tell her husband what had happened and
that she attempt to remedy the problem. The lady said she
would talk to her husband Friday night and call my SIL back.
It is Tuesday and there has been no call. I fear that she
was unable to talk to her husband.
I will be calling her later today and try to discuss the
problem with her with all the love and understanding I can
muster.
Pam
|
541.30 | | AIMHI::JMARTIN | | Tue Aug 16 1994 13:08 | 3 |
| She may need a mediator, like I mentioned a few replies back.
-Jack
|
541.31 | | BIGQ::SILVA | Memories..... | Tue Aug 16 1994 15:00 | 24 |
| | <<< Note 541.22 by YIELD::BARBIERI >>>
| Not to discount the extra 'pull' caused by a chemical imbalance, but would
| not chemicals be part of the flesh and does not the word say that the flesh
| can be crucified, that if we walk in the Spirit we won't obey the lusts of
| the flesh, and that where sin abounds grace does much more abound?
Tony, if someone has strep throat, how is it taken care of? Through
medication. Who do you think allowed this medication to be discovered? I
believe it was God that did this. Apply this to the chemical imbalance and you
might be able to see where He comes into play in all this. If one were going
through the turmoils that have been talked about in this notestring did not
know what was causing the problems, have prayed to God to help find the answer.
If God showed them that what was causing, or help causing the problems was a
chemical imbalance, then hasn't He led them to a partial cure? True, praying
and stopping what the flesh wants is a big part of it, but medication may also
be needed. Can you see this?
Glen
|
541.32 | Other Thoughts... | YIELD::BARBIERI | | Tue Aug 16 1994 18:09 | 25 |
| Hi Glen,
Thanks Glen. That's a really good point. As I said, I am
not against medical solutions save _perhaps_ some types that
zombie a person out.
One thing that is curious though. How about all those demon
possessed people in biblical times? What about today? Isn't
it curious that the Bible never said, "So and so had a physical
problem which caused mental illness." They were described as
demon possessed.
Could it be that today's mentally ill are similar to these people
mentioned in the Bible? Might it be possible that the chemical
imbalance is a byproduct of a previous spiritual dynamic? What
came first, the chicken or the egg? I am definitely open to the
possibility that we see chemical signs associated with mental
illness, but these chemical signs may just be effects of prior
spiritual problems.
In either case, the only point I was trying to make was to not
diminish how constraining God's love is. We just haven't had the
sight of faith to tap into it.
Tony
|
541.33 | | DREUL1::rob | Rob Marshall - Customer Service Dresden | Wed Aug 17 1994 04:35 | 23 |
| Re .32 Tony,
side note: in .26 you said "re: -1" which was my reply. I'm assuming you were
replying to .24 rather than -1 (.25), since your note doesn't seem to make
sense to me. Good ole notes collision.
I used to work in a psychiatric hospital with teen-agers. I think that a lot
of what modern medicine labels as "mental illness" is demon possession. But,
I don't think that todays chemical imbalances are byproducts of demonic
possession. Plus Matthew says:
4:24 And his fame went throughout all Syria; and they
brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers
diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with
devils, and those which were lunatick, and those that had
the palsy; and he healed them.
Which seems to cover just about everything, including "mental illness". The
problem today is that secular medicine will say that the possessed are mentally
ill, and then commit them to an institution, and turn them into zombies with
drugs so that they don't tear up the hospital.
Rob
|
541.34 | | CNTROL::JENNISON | Troubleshootin' Mama | Wed Aug 17 1994 09:26 | 6 |
|
re: .32
Good note, Tony!
Karen
|
541.35 | Light Has Come!! | YIELD::BARBIERI | | Wed Aug 17 1994 09:56 | 29 |
| Hi,
Thanks Karen!
re: .33
Boy, you brought up an excellent point. That is the first time
I have seen scripture explicitly bring up mental illness AND
devil possession as separate 'item.'
I LOVE it when I learn something especially along spiritual
lines! Thanks for teaching me something, bro!
Given what you shared, my position has changed somewhat.
One thing I'm wondering...can mental illness always still be
considered an effect of a previous cause that is basically
unbelief?
Actually, I tend to doubt it. I know its a fringe thing, but what
about autistic people. How are they reached? What is the
spiritual thing that is going on? I mean...a lot of people seem
to have mental illness even before accountability sometimes.
Oh well...
God Bless,
Tony
|
541.36 | | ODIXIE::SINATRA | | Wed Aug 17 1994 20:14 | 57 |
| As usual, I'm way behind, but I have a few thoughts I'd like to add.
Re: .15 The pastor's statement that adversity reveals who a person is,
not makes them who they are. I can agree with this in part; however,
if taken at face value, it seems to me that an inherent implication of
this statement is that human beings are static, rather than continually
changing and learning. We are not born developed beings, and adversity
certainly plays a part in the shaping of the child yet to become the
man, and we certainly experience adversity throughout our lives. I also
believe that God uses adversity to sharpen his saints, as well as to bring
some to their knees, so that they can begin to walk as His children. In
that case adversity would reveal the man, but would also be the
starting place for that man to begin to change.
As far as chemical imbalances and accountability, it is often an
individual's sense of accountability that makes the situation
unbearable to them (they themselves hate the behavior/symptom which
they cannot seem to control) and drives them to seek help. I do agree
that there is an abuse of drugs in the treatment of mental illness, not
enough consideration of spiritual warfare and that there is far too much
of a trend of blaming another and relieving oneself of accountability, but
I also think there is a place for the treatment of physical causes of
aberrant behaviors, those causes including chemical imbalances.
Lastly, I don't know if this has been addressed or not, but there is
such a thing as the sins of the fathers being visited upon the
children. Generational sin - Catherine Marshall addresses this in one
of her books (I can't remember which one) using the example of her own
extreme, irrational fears, which she believed were communicated to her
through her grandmother when she was an infant. She was ultimately
accountable for her own fears, and broke the cycle with the help of her
son, but it was necessary for her to search for understanding of the root
of that particular sin in her life. Sin began with Adam and Eve and has
continued from generation to generation.
This does not relieve anyone of accountability for their own sin, but I
think it's an important issue for two reasons. One, is that in those cases
of a child or an adult plagued with something they themselves do not
understand - not caused physically, nor by demon possession, nor mental
illness, not *originating* in their will, but seemingly there always, may
be able to gain an insight that can help them in their struggle to conquer
that sin by examining the past, because there may be a "generational" root
to that sin.
Two, it is important that we understand our accountability to one
another, generationally, and as a society. Every time we fail to teach
accountability, every time we fail to yield our wills to God, but instead
to pursue sin - the effects are far reaching, much farther reaching than
we imagine. Few parents willingly inflict pain upon their child, but
how many unwittingly do far worse, simply by not battling the sin in
their own lives.
Hope this makes sense.
Rebecca
|
541.37 | | ODIXIE::HUNT | | Wed Aug 17 1994 21:32 | 9 |
| re .36
>Hope this makes sense.
Males great sense to me.
Good note Rebecca,
Bing
|
541.38 | Good Note Rebecca | JULIET::MORALES_NA | Sweet Spirit's Gentle Breeze | Thu Aug 18 1994 02:09 | 90 |
| > Re: .15 The pastor's statement that adversity reveals who a person is,
> not makes them who they are. I can agree with this in part; however,
> if taken at face value, it seems to me that an inherent implication of
> this statement is that human beings are static, rather than continually
> changing and learning. We are not born developed beings, and adversity
> certainly plays a part in the shaping of the child yet to become the
> man, and we certainly experience adversity throughout our lives. I also
> believe that God uses adversity to sharpen his saints, as well as to bring
> some to their knees, so that they can begin to walk as His children. In
> that case adversity would reveal the man, but would also be the
> starting place for that man to begin to change.
The difference between the static and changing individual is how they
approach adversity. I agree with your statement, btw, but feel it can
be defined a little further. If one is unwilling to be sharpened by our
Lord Jesus Christ, they could fall into the static category.. unwilling
to be molded. This reveals a lot about the character of an individual.
On the other hand, facing adversity and learning from it, also reveals a
lot about character. Does this make sense to you?
> As far as chemical imbalances and accountability, it is often an
> individual's sense of accountability that makes the situation
> unbearable to them (they themselves hate the behavior/symptom which
> they cannot seem to control) and drives them to seek help. I do agree
Are we talking about self esteem here? How do you see accountability to
someone who has low self esteem? For instance, if a person has low self
esteem and they murder someone for name calling [it has happened], do we
now blame their self esteem and let them go free? Where does
accountability begin and end? I've experienced the hormonal fluctuation
that we women go through and found myself in the middle of a crying
episode knowing that crying wasn't necessary, but unable to stop it. :-)
But I also know that my "behavior" during these episodes can be directly
related to my "sin condition". I find that "abiding" in Christ doesn't
stop the flux, but it certainly changes how I react to them.
> that there is an abuse of drugs in the treatment of mental illness, not
> enough consideration of spiritual warfare and that there is far too much
> of a trend of blaming another and relieving oneself of accountability, but
> I also think there is a place for the treatment of physical causes of
> aberrant behaviors, those causes including chemical imbalances.
See above. I still believe that "abiding" is the answer to how we
behave in this life. My God who created this body, knows it's
imbalances.
> Lastly, I don't know if this has been addressed or not, but there is
> such a thing as the sins of the fathers being visited upon the
> children. Generational sin - Catherine Marshall addresses this in one
> of her books (I can't remember which one) using the example of her own
> extreme, irrational fears, which she believed were communicated to her
> through her grandmother when she was an infant. She was ultimately
> accountable for her own fears, and broke the cycle with the help of her
> son, but it was necessary for her to search for understanding of the root
> of that particular sin in her life. Sin began with Adam and Eve and has
> continued from generation to generation.
This comes down to understanding Grace and how it sets you free. Since
Christ paid the price for our sin, we are now accountable to God alone
at the judgement seat. If we carry around sin that is not our own,
we cannot attain forgiveness for that sin. We can only receive
forgiveness for that which is not our own. In psychology today, it's
called ownership awareness.
> This does not relieve anyone of accountability for their own sin, but I
> think it's an important issue for two reasons. One, is that in those cases
> of a child or an adult plagued with something they themselves do not
> understand - not caused physically, nor by demon possession, nor mental
> illness, not *originating* in their will, but seemingly there always, may
> be able to gain an insight that can help them in their struggle to conquer
> that sin by examining the past, because there may be a "generational" root
> to that sin.
Amen to that! More often than not, I find that generational roots are
the cause for many of our sin habits. However, that does not preclude
as you said accountability before God on judgement day.
> Two, it is important that we understand our accountability to one
> another, generationally, and as a society. Every time we fail to teach
> accountability, every time we fail to yield our wills to God, but instead
> to pursue sin - the effects are far reaching, much farther reaching than
> we imagine. Few parents willingly inflict pain upon their child, but
> how many unwittingly do far worse, simply by not battling the sin in
> their own lives.
A warning to all that is worth listening too. Thanks for sharing this.
It made perfect sense.
Nancy
|
541.39 | | DREUL1::rob | Rob Marshall - Customer Service Dresden | Thu Aug 18 1994 04:47 | 23 |
| Re .35 Tony,
> One thing I'm wondering...can mental illness always still be
> considered an effect of a previous cause that is basically
> unbelief?
Depending on how you look at it, all disease and infirmity is a result of sin.
But, as you mentioned, there are some things that people are born with, or
inherit. Simply because we live in a sick, sinful, degenerating, world. The
blind man in John 9 would fall into this category. There was no sin involved,
in spite of the teaching of the day that said someone had to have sinned to
cause the condition.
When it comes to the mentally handicapped, by which I mean those people born
with a condition that makes them, as far as we can tell, totally unreachable;
I think we just have to leave that one to God. Some people will surely say
that they, just like we, are born with "original sin" (for lack of a better
term) and, unless they make a concious decision *for* Christ, they are con-
demned. MY belief is, I don't think we can know. I certainly believe that
it is possible for God to reach them, even if we can't. What happens, spirit-
ually, in the lives of those people is impossible for us to know.
Rob
|
541.40 | | DREUL1::rob | depending on His love | Thu Aug 18 1994 04:51 | 63 |
| Hi,
The verse: "visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the
third and fourth generation of them that hate me" does not mean that the
sins are passed on. Rather, the punishment, should the children continue in
the sins of their "fathers", will continue into the succeeding generations.
The babylonian captivity, and various other times when Israel was ruled by
other nations, are examples.
One reason I believe that is the following verses out of Ezekiel:
18:1 The word of the Lord came unto me again, saying,
18:2 What mean ye, that ye use this proverb concerning the
land of Israel, saying, The fathers have eaten sour grapes,
and the children's teeth are set on edge?
18:3 As I live, saith the Lord God, ye shall not have occa-
sion any more to use this proverb in Israel.
18:4 Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the father,
so also the soul of the son is mine; the soul that sinneth,
it shall die.
....
18:19 Yet say ye, Why? doth not the son bear the iniquity of
the father? When the son hath done that which is lawful and
right, and hath kept all my statutes, and hath done them, he
shall surely live.
18:20 The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not
bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father
bear the iniquity of the son; the righteousness of the
righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the
wicked shall be upon him.
18:21 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he
hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which
is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
18:22 All his transgressions that he hath committed, they
shall not be mentioned unto him; in his righteousness that
he hath done he shall live.
18:23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die?
saith the Lord God; and not that he should return from his
ways, and live?
I believe that we pass many things on to our children, but most of them
have to do with their nature (sinful), and certain genes. The problems
come with the things we teach them by example and word throughout their
lives. The things that drive me craziest about my kids, are those things
that I see (and dislike) in myself.
I believe it would be unjust, and definitely not consistent with God's love
(hi Tony :-), if He would condemn the "children" to *continue in the sins* of
the fathers. The children continue in the sin because they learn it from
their fathers, but God gives them the opportunity, at any point, to break
the cycle of sin. The punishment continues as long as they continue to
sin, because God, in His infinite mercy, is trying to incite the children
to repentance.
Plus, I think we put too much emphasis on "visit the sins...third and fourth
generations" and not enough on:
Deut. 7:9 Know therefore that the LORD thy God, he is God, the
faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that
that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand genera-
tions;
Rob
|
541.41 | | BIGQ::SILVA | Memories..... | Thu Aug 18 1994 10:07 | 32 |
| | <<< Note 541.32 by YIELD::BARBIERI >>>
| One thing that is curious though. How about all those demon possessed people
| in biblical times? What about today? Isn't it curious that the Bible never
| said, "So and so had a physical problem which caused mental illness." They
| were described as demon possessed.
One possibility is that they only spoke of those who were possessed and
never addressed the mental illness subject. Another might be that they don't
know the things we know today. They may have not known what was a chemical
imbalance in some cases back then. Remember, God reveals things to us in bits
and pieces. Did we always know that asprin would help deal with headaches? Did
we always know that the Dead Sea Scrolls were not destroyed or maybe that they
would stay lost forever? Can you see where I am going with this Tony?
| Could it be that today's mentally ill are similar to these people mentioned
| in the Bible? Might it be possible that the chemical imbalance is a
| byproduct of a previous spiritual dynamic?
That is an interesting thought Tony. If that were the case, then this
medicine stuff that I believe God allowed us to discover is some pretty strong
stuff. :-) So between Spiritual and medical healings, things seem pretty well
covered. But not knowing what causes the chemical imbalance to begin with, we
might only find out when we meet our maker. But, He has revealed things to us
before, and maybe this will be one more thing He reveals before we leave the
planet to be with Him.
Glen
|
541.42 | Maybe baseball players could learn something from him... | BIGQ::SILVA | Memories..... | Thu Aug 18 1994 10:11 | 21 |
| | <<< Note 541.35 by YIELD::BARBIERI >>>
| Actually, I tend to doubt it. I know its a fringe thing, but what about
| autistic people. How are they reached? What is the spiritual thing that
| is going on? I mean...a lot of people seem to have mental illness even
| before accountability sometimes.
Tony, don't count them out. I have a friend who works for the ARC in
Lowell. He works daily with all sorts of people on different levels of
functionality. You'd be surprised at how much they do know about God. They do
express things differently, but I'll tell ya, they never stop surprising him. I
think that is why he has stayed for so long there, despite the very low income
he receives.
Glen
|
541.43 | | ODIXIE::HUNT | | Thu Aug 18 1994 10:53 | 16 |
| | autistic people. How are they reached? What is the spiritual thing that
| is going on?
I agree with Glen that they understand a lot more that we may think
they do. My brother-in-law has an autistic brother. They never
thought he was comprehending much of what they were saying. They found
out about a new discovery where autistic people can express themselves
with a special keyboard. With it he (the autistic boy) was able to
express his understanding of what he heard. It was truely eye opening
of what he was really comprehending. He had understood about God's
love for him. He knew when people were saying, "Hi, how are you
today?". It makes you think twice about speaking to autistic folks in
a loving way.
Bing
|
541.44 | Replies | YIELD::BARBIERI | | Thu Aug 18 1994 13:25 | 27 |
| Hi Rob, Glen, and Bing!,
Thanks Glen for your inputs. I'm still learning! One thing
though, Glen. Rob mentioned a verse which explicitly mentioned
demon possession _and_ lunacy thus (to me) implying a realm of
mental illness outside the umbrella of demonism. This was an
entirely fresh insight for me.
Rob, nothing like finding consistencies with God's love, huh?
A definite amen to your Exodus interpretation. God is simply
stating a cause/effect spiritual reality. If dad hits ma, it is
more likely that their son will hit his future wife.
Bing, hope this doesn't burst a bubble too much, but the very thing
you mentioned was on 60 minutes. There is some validation that the
whole keyboard thing is pretty suspect. But, I don't want to imply
that autistics cannot be reached.
Oh yeah, Rob...speaking of accountability and all that. Not
wanting to get into original sin (since I don't believe in it
anyway!), but Jesus came to save and not condemn. God does not
condemn, sin does. But, light does make manifest that
condemnation. That would seem to shed some positive hope for
those cases of people about which scripture is largely silent.
Tony
|
541.45 | | JULIET::MORALES_NA | Sweet Spirit's Gentle Breeze | Thu Aug 18 1994 13:38 | 9 |
| Rob,
I've heard it said that what is passed on is the "attitude" surrounding
the sin from generation to generation.
For instance, it is true, that alcoholics beget alcoholics. There is a
"predisposition" if you will to sin.
|
541.46 | | ODIXIE::HUNT | | Thu Aug 18 1994 14:00 | 11 |
| >Bing, hope this doesn't burst a bubble too much, but the very thing
>you mentioned was on 60 minutes. There is some validation that the
>whole keyboard thing is pretty suspect. But, I don't want to imply
>that autistics cannot be reached.
Yea, that's where they found out about it. As far as being suspect,
they asked questions to him, and he answers. I don't know how I can
invalidate the personal experience of someone else (These are
intelligent, highly educated people. They are also strong believers).
Bing
|
541.47 | | BIGQ::SILVA | Memories..... | Thu Aug 18 1994 14:24 | 17 |
| | <<< Note 541.44 by YIELD::BARBIERI >>>
| One thing though, Glen. Rob mentioned a verse which explicitly mentioned demon
| possession _and_ lunacy thus (to me) implying a realm of mental illness
| outside the umbrella of demonism. This was an entirely fresh insight for me.
I think along the same lines as Rob on this. In my note you should have
seen me address the other possibilities, but thanks to Rob we have Scripture
from the Bible.
Glen
|
541.48 | Just To Let You Know, I Understand Now | YIELD::BARBIERI | | Fri Aug 19 1994 09:42 | 11 |
| re: -1
Hi Glen,
Yeah, the only reason I brought it up wasn't to instruct you,
it was to let you know that I learned something and now under-
stood it much as you do.
And it is very important for me to see it in the word!
Tony
|