| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 445.1 | | JULIET::MORALES_NA | Sweet Spirit's Gentle Breeze | Tue Mar 29 1994 15:55 | 22 |
| It depends on your personality type. For me, I just usually say
something very positive about the person who is the subject and that
will stop the negativity.
For Instance, there was this secretary in the office who was very
promiscuous and spoke to several people about the differing sales reps
that she had slept with... several women were at my desk discussing
DECwrite when she came into the conversation, of course her reputation
was the next topic [now this was true, she had told several folks
herself, so I don't know if it qualifies as gossip], but I made a real
positive statement about her abilities as a secretary and team player,
the others looked at me real strange, changed the subject and quickly
left.
However, for the most part the best way to handle it is to walk away if
your in a group of people, if it's one-on-one, you can simply say you
don't wish to talk about it.
I don't know if this helps...
|
| 445.2 | | CSLALL::HENDERSON | just a closer walk with thee | Tue Mar 29 1994 16:00 | 12 |
|
RE: <<< Note 445.0 by POWDML::NOURSE >>>
-< Gossip in the Office >-
> I know the Bible make many references about gossip.
One of my pastor's favorite sermon topics :-) :-(
|
| 445.3 | | BIGQ::SILVA | Memories..... | Tue Mar 29 1994 16:14 | 7 |
|
Does making assumptions about someone constitute as gossip?
Glen
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| 445.4 | | EVMS::PAULKM::WEISS | Trade freedom for His security-GAIN both | Tue Mar 29 1994 16:51 | 11 |
| > Does making assumptions about someone constitute as gossip?
I don't think so, at least not in and of itself For me at least, the
distinguishing factor of gossip is that it is saying things about someone
behind their back when they are not there to defend themselves, usually
things that you would not say to their face. If that included making
assumptions about them that would be gossip, but making assumptions about
someone and stating those assumptions to their face, where they could then
respond to them, would not be gossip.
Paul
|
| 445.5 | | BIGQ::SILVA | Memories..... | Tue Mar 29 1994 17:20 | 7 |
|
Got it... thanks Paul!
Glen
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| 445.6 | | AUSSIE::CAMERON | and God sent him FORTH (Gen 3:23) | Tue Mar 29 1994 17:30 | 8 |
| I prefer to say nothing about anyone, since I am wary of incorrect
communication. i.e. no matter what *I* say, the person hearing what I
say may not receive the message in the same way that I intended it; and
I think that could be my fault.
James
(ps; I had to do a peer-review yesterday - not something I enjoy...)
|
| 445.7 | Survey says.... | POWDML::MOSSEY | | Wed Mar 30 1994 10:52 | 12 |
|
A good definition of gossip:
If you're not part of the problem or the solution, then
it's gossip.
Seems I should be doing a lot less talking than I do :-(
K
|
| 445.8 | I'm so bad for saying this; but... | 24004::SPARKS | I have just what you need | Wed Mar 30 1994 11:08 | 10 |
| We have a couple who always start their gossip with "I shouldn't say
this, or I'm so bad, but I've got to tell you about..."
I have responded to the I shouldn't with "well don't then" and the I'm
so bad with "Yes you are" and walk away. I doubt if it stopped their
gossip with anyone else, but hopefully it will make them think with the
phrases they use that maybe it isn't right. The odd thing is they are
just as friendly as before, but don't gossip to me.
Sparky who prefers to spend most of his time on customer sites.
|
| 445.9 | Set an example | SIERAS::MCCLUSKY | | Wed Mar 30 1994 12:56 | 31 |
| > Does anyone here have any suggestions on how to combat gossip in the
> office? It seems like a normal conversation or even a business
> conversation cannot take place without cutting someone down.
This is not a simple task and not one that can be acheived with a
"snappy retort". It takes time and begins with you always being
positive about people or silent. I am not suggesting that you do not
talk about people in a normal business conversation, since this may be
required particularly since we are a sales organization, and people
sell to people. What I am suggesting is that you be as accurate as you
can be, and you refrain from "chit-chat" about people. If you
consistantly display an open business-like demeanor in the office,
people will usually not gossip around you. When someone does, the
technique suggested by Nancy is excellent. I will usually challenge
the statement, with something along the lines of how do you know, that
doesn't seem to square with the information I have, or something like
that. Then if they continue, I would go to Nancy's suggestion as say
that if that is true, it is too bad, but she is the best secretary and
team player...
This is not suggesting that anyone is a gossip, but people usually
gossip with people that they believe want to hear it. They get that
impression from things around them. They may not be accurate in how
they read you, but for some reason they believe you are a candidate
that is likely for the gossip. So you need to establish overwhelming
evidence that you are not such a candidate for gossiping. Remember
that to establish the evidence, you must do ten positives to over come
a single negative, or as my boss said, "It takes 10 atta-boys to
overcome one aw-shucks!".
|