| Pastor Jack Trieber
North Valley Baptist Church
Santa Clara, CA 95054
(408)988-8881
My Pastor has been at this church for 18 years. The lessons he is
teaching is a result of counseling today's families. Statistics are as
stated in another note that 75% of all marriages suffer an adulterous
affair. In the church the numbers are quickly climbing t��o that
toll from a now 50% of Christian families.
I'll do my best [with his permission] to recreate his lessons in this
note.
1. The majority of affairs begins with lust.
(Women rarely get in an affair for physical reasons)
a. Women have an emotional need
b. Men get involved for the physical needs
2. A Strong faith in Christ innoculates a person against an affair.
3. You don't need to worry about an affair in our marriage because in
a good marriage it rarely happens.
4. If a person is a strong Christian, a Biblical confrontation will
usually cause them to stop the affair. (Pastor noted that in most
cases people get angry and leave bitter)
5. An affair indicates that the person's mate is not an adequate
husband or wife.
Note: An affair can point to a problem in the marriage, but it doesn't
mean the entire marriage is bad. Generally an affair manifests some
hidden personality trait in that person.
6. A man having an affair will almost always choose a love��r that is
physically more attractive than his wife.
7. Most affairs even if carefully responded to by faithful partners
result in divorce.
NOTE: Statistics state that 43% of all marriages can weather an
affair. 56% result in divorce.
8. If you are sure of your partner's commitment to faithfulness, than
you think it could never happen to you and you are on safe ground.
9. A Christian woman who is a close friend will not betray that
friendship to have an affair with your husband.
10. An affair can improve a dying marriage.
11. If a person has an affair that proves he or she does not love their
mate.
12. When a spouse's affair is discovered, it is best for the offended
party to pretend that it didn't happen.
Next Week: "Why Affairs Happen"
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| I started this topic and unfortunately much to my shame never finished
it... I have sent the tapes out to folks who asked for them and I will
offer that again should anyone want to listen to them... but
A very close friend of mine whom I care about deeply has become
involved with a married woman. He claims that she was unhappy with the
marriage for some time before they met and that while the husband
claims to be a Christian doesn't display any deep desire for the Lord.
He also claims that there has been no adultery [physical relationship]
either between he or the married woman, or between the husband and
wife. Its a case of she married the "wrong person" scenario.
The situation is more complicated in that my friend decided to confess
his feelings and break off the relationship with this woman in order to
remain pure and not be the cause of a break up. I have no idea what
the letter said, but I'd imagine it was quite a love letter full of the
passion that comes from within each of us. Its the sort of thing that
movies are made about.
Having done this the woman confessed to her husband the situation and
explained she feels the same things in return. And so the marriage
has the possibility of terminating.
If this marriage ends in divorce, would it be the right thing for my
friend to marry her?
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