Conference yukon::christian_v7

    Jeff,
    
    The tears are still in my eyes as I write this... 
    
    First, as I know you are aware, my heart bleeds for you.  I have
    experienced loss, but not at the magnitude of yours.  
    
    As I believe, I told you when we spoke, and perhaps this may help
    someone else, when you lose a child, NOTHING replaces that child. 
    Something can occupy space and time interims, but NOTHING replaces that
    child.  
    
    When I get to heaven there is going to be 6 little ones waiting for me. 
    5 miscarriages, 1 premature birth.  
    
    Even though I didn't get to hold those little ones that I lost, there
    is/was an ache in my heart for them.
    
    Nancy

    
    Jeff:
    
    My heart truly goes out to you as you endure the many facets of grief.
    I have not experienced the loss of a child, but I did lose my mother
    and went through a deep grieving process that is probably dwarfed by
    what your family is going through.
    
    I do have friends that have lost children, and made it though the grief
    together. In light of the statistics, I think it is possible, with the
    strength of the Lord and the comfort of the Holy Spirit to come out of
    this even stronger in your faith and commitment to your spouse.
    
    First, you need to realize there are stages to grief, including anger:
    with God, with yourself, with your daughter and with your spouse.
    I think the most important thing is to process this anger with the
    intent of getting through to the other side of it. DON'T BLAME your
    spouse, but discuss your anquish over the situation openly as
    necessary.
    
    I would suggest reading the book Men and Grief, written from the 
    Christian perspective, and available through your local Christian 
    Bookstore. Also, I think it's important for you to not go through 
    this alone. Whether you consult with your pastor, a Christain 
    councelor, or a mature & capable close friend, you need to draw on 
    their support. But, most of all, you will need to maintain your 
    relationship with God. This does not mean that you can't struggle 
    with your feelings towards God, but that you need to strive for 
    reconciliation rather than enmity with Him, or anyone else for that 
    matter.
    
    May God bless you as you travel this difficult journey... Dave
    

    
    re: Jeff
    
    	I hear ya.  Let me just say that I don't think any of us are ever
    prepared for the loss of a loved one especially a child.
    
    	I know several couples who have lost children and although they
    have a decent relationship with the Lord, they still find it very
    difficult to deal with even 7-8 years after their loss.
    
    	I can't even begin to try and feel your pain.  All I can say is
    that as sure there is a God, He is just.  And although we might not
    feel that way at times, we have to believe that God has a purpose
    in everything we do.  And knowing you from in here, I know you 
    believe this deep down, and I also know that at times you question
    why.
    
    	My friend, my heart goes out to you.  I hope you will continue
    to share your pain as I have found that those who continue to share
    their pain with others are those that tend to live with it much better.
    
    
    bill..g.
    

    Jeff,
    
    I lost my father to cancer a little over a year ago. He was 62 and was
    a strong person, physically, mentally and spiritually. By the time he
    died, (seven months from the time we discovered the cancer had spread
    to the bone) he looked like he was in his eighties and his physical 
    strength had gone. He was a person of integrity, more so than anyone
    I've known, and people around him who'd led ungodly lives were
    flourishing and it hurt him - he didn't understand. The night/morning
    of his death, we, my mother and brothers and I, were all with him, and my
    mom was sitting on the edge of the bed holding his hand as he struggled
    for breath, (he wasn't able to communicate) and she looked up with tears 
    in her eyes and a little grin and said, "I'll tell you, when Dad hits 
    those pearly gates, he's gonna want some answers."  But I think the most 
    difficult thing after his actual death, was telling his mother. It's the 
    wrong order of things. It just is.
    
    I don't know why - I don't have answers. I do know that my father shaped 
    and touched my life and that a part of him will continue to live through 
    me and through the lives he influenced. I know that I will always miss him.
    My grief is changing and will continue to change with time and with prayer
    and with seeking. I know that one day my granny will hold her son in her 
    arms again. And I will see him again. Jesus has promised us, and through 
    all the anger and the pain and the sorrow I stand on that promise. Hold 
    fast to that promise, and know that Jesus has his arms about you all right
    now, even if you can't feel it - He won't let you go. And though she's not
    with you here, even when the grief begins to lessen, you can't lose her, 
    because you love her and she's part of you.
    
    With love and prayers,
    
    Rebecca   
                                           

    Jeff,
    
    There are no words that are adequate.  In my grief, I found that
    touching was very important and  for that reason, I am sending you an
    electronic embrace.
    
    My wife of 21 years died of melanoma on the brain, which was not an
    easy time.  Six months later, my only brother died of lukemia.  My wife
    was 40, my brother 44.  My father died about two years before my wife's
    death and three years ago my mother died of Alzheimer's.  Yet  I  doubt
    that I can really know the extent of your pain, but I do know that it
    hurts.
    
    When my wife died, I hated God.  How could he do this to me?  How could
    he take this person that was so wonderful to me, to our two boys, to
    her church, to her community, to everyone she knew????  You are
    correct, there is no way to replace that person.  Awaking during the
    night alone in bed, helped me understand the meaning of "alone".  I
    have much more empathy now for singles living in crowded apartment
    houses in busy cities and saying they are lonely.  There were many
    other lessons and time, wonderful time, helps so much.
    
    Two books that helped me (forgive me if there are some minor
    discrepancies in titles/authors names):  Elizabeth Koobla-Ross, "On
    Death and Dying", helped me see the stages of grief through which I
    must pass.  The other book is by a Jew, but it is excellent, "When Bad
    Things Happen to Good People", by Kushner.  I urge you to take little
    steps now, big ones are probably impossible.  And take care of your
    son.  You said he was perfect.  I found my children needed more help
    than I did, but it did not appear that way at the time.  Just be aware
    that there may be needs you don't see right now.
    
    Finally, the two most important things during my grief, were these:
    1) At the most painful part of my grief, God laid his hand on my
    shoulder and gave me a peace I had not known before, I still hurt, but
    I knew that I could challenge tomorrow... 2) When I came back to  work
    after my wife's death, a good friend came up to me and took my hand and
    put his other on my shoulder and squeezed them both and said, "Mac..."
    and nothing more.  Electronically, I take your hand and put my arm
    around you, "Jeff, I love you and He loves you".
    
    In His Love,
    
    Daryl

It has been about 7 months since my Mom died of cancer.  Yesterday would
have been her birthday.  The day before that, when going through some boxes
of stuff that hadn't been unpacked since we moved I found a letter from her
that she'd written to her four children prior to the final onslaught of that
terrible disease.  In it she described how thankful she was for family, and
how God had truly guided and blessed her throughout her life.  She spoke
about how important the love, and sharing, and communication that we had was,
and how much it pleased her to see that we remained close emotionally &
spiritually.  As time passes, the grieving process still comes in waves, 
the last couple of days have been difficult in that regards.  I miss her 
tremendously even though I know that she is with God.  But the dreams and 
tears don't come as often, and the ache is not as constant as it was in
August.  I look forward to the time when death will no longer be part of our
experience, and I look forward to the resurrection when will have our perfected
physical bodies which will not be corrupted by age, or disease, or accidents
such as happened to Caroline.  I have written a few poems, which are probably 
in the last version of the conference, but I think I'll put them into this one
as well.

Jeff, I pray that you and your wife will heal together, and that God will
protect your marriage and your family from any destructive aspects of grief.
I pray you will be drawn closer to both God & your wife, and that your heart
will be filled with the sweet memories of Caroline, rather than the tears of
loss.  Be gentle and patient with yourselves during this time.

In Him,

Leslie

After Job had born the pain and grief of loss, bereavement and illness, God 
restored twice as much to him (Job 42:10...).  Twice as many sheep, camels. 
oxen, donkeys - you can compare the numbers between Job 1:3, and Job 42:12. 
But he had the same number of children again - seven sons and three 
daughters (Job 1:2, Job 42:13).

I take this as to mean two things.  The first is that Job *had* twice as
many offspring - those who were taken were still real people in God's eyes.
They 'counted' very literally.  So Job had altogether 14 sons and 6
daughters.  The second thing that this says to me, is less certain, but I
believe that God was also confirming His answer to Job's prayers of Job
1:5, where Job sacrificed on his children's behalf, in case they had
sinned.  By saying that 'the same number again' was enough to double his
number of offspring in God's eyes, God was maybe confirming that the
sacrifices had been answered, and the sins of the children were covered. 

The children who have 'gone ahead' have fulfilled their tasks before God,
part of which was in the tenderising of the hearts of those parents, who 
now have an added investment in heaven....  As dear friends go on ahead, we 
gradually realise more intensely the significance of that place where we 
shall be for ever with the LORD, and this world of shadows fades in its 
grip and importance....

As David said "I shall go to him, but he will not return to me" 2 Samuel 
12:23.  - with that confidence of meeting again...

Rebecca,

There's some verses which are very pertinent to the passing of the saints.
Psalm 116:15, of course: "Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of 
His saints" - because it means that at last His loving heart gets to have 
them in His immediate presence.  At last He can show them the wonders that 
He has done in their lives.  At last they can fully become all that He has 
been growing them into.  

Enoch is a tremendous example.  Most people in Genesis 5 live around 900
years.  Only Enoch is taken at 365.  And it's not a punishment, because 
Enoch is held up as an example, who 'walked with God', until 'God took him 
away'....   I like to think that God's heart so yearned for Enoch, he so
wanted immediate fellowship with Enoch, that He gave him the blessing of an
early promotion....

Isaiah 57;1 says:

"The righteous perish, and no-one ponders it in his heart; devout men are 
taken away, and no-one understands that the righteous are taken away to be 
spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest 
as they lie in death."
                                           
 - I love that.  It warms my heart, and reminds me that *here* is the place 
of turmoil and battle against sin.....

It also reminds me of Josiah, the last Godly king of Judah, who was told by
the LORD: "your eyes will not see all the disaster I am bringing on this
place" in 2 Kings 22:20, and who died young, when he went out to battle 
against the passing Egyptian army (2 Kings 23:29).


But these are only words, against the heartbreak of an ache which nothing 
seems to fill....  May God bless them into a reality of awareness which 
brings His comfort....


							love 
								Andrew

Grace to you dear Family.  Oh how marvelous the Word of God is and how
wonderful a comfort are His people!  Thank you so much for your encouragement
and your love.  It makes all the difference in my life!

I want to share with you my own understanding on the nature of some of the
questions I posed in .0.

I asked, "do you think you are spiritually prepared to suffer the loss of a 
child?".  I was to a small degree.  I was not to a very large degree.  And
even so, though unfamiliar with one who grieves without the hope that I have,
the pain of the loss of her has been "unbearable".  

Matthew 7:24-27 has Jesus talking about the two foundations - rock and sand.
Jesus said:

	Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine, and acts upon them
	may be compared to a wise man, who built his house upon the rock.
	And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew,
	and burst against that house; and yet it did  not fall, for it had
	been founded upon the rock.

	And everyone who hears these words of Mine, and does not act upon
	them, will be like a foolish man, who built his house upon the
	sand.  And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds
	blew, and burst against that house; and it fell, and great was its
	fall.

There are at least two important ideas for me in this Scripture.  One is that
hearing and acting upon Jesus's words provides a solid foundation for our 
lives.  Another very important idea for all of us is that both the "wise
man" and the "foolish man" suffered the pouring rain, floods and the strongest
winds.  One man's life did not crumble.  One man's life crumbled and great
was its fall.

The way to be spiritually prepared is to build your house on the Rock of 
the Word of God.  This is fundamental and is why I am still standing.  This
certainly does not mean to imply that I am stronger in the Word than any other
Christian for I am not above reproach in this area.  I do mean that
I assessed my life and my hopes fairly regularly, checking my foundation
so to speak.  At the core of my beliefs and then my actions was my Christian 
faith.  Praise God for this.  Certainly I have wondered if my faith were a
house of cards at one time or another.

Another way to be spiritually prepared is to face reality concerning suffering.
People far greater than I in faith and devotion have suffered tremendously.
"Why me?" is a first question I had of God.  Silence is the answer.  There are
any number of explanations from natural consequences to divine cause.  I will
not get a definitive answer in this lifetime.  Living life as if nothing
terrible will ever happen to us is deception.  We should consider these things
deeply and be prepared.  It is not "if" but "when".  Oh how sad I am for those
people that believe God's plan calls for only prosperity here; their houses
are built on sand.  

Now having said all of this, it is true that preparing for a thing is not the
same as enduring or experiencing a thing.  I share these things simply as an
encouragement and a warning, I guess, for the rains will come and the floods
will rise and the wind will blow.  By the grace of God through Jesus Christ
I am still standing - a good deal bent, but not laid waste.

I love you Family! 

jeff

	A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will
	not snuff out.
		-- Isaiah 42:3a, NIV

    Jeff, I haven't told you before, but my prayers have been and continue
    to be with you and your family.  Your testimony is truly beautiful and
    moves me to praise God all the more for His provision and grace even
    and especially in times of suffering.  Thank you from the depths of my
    heart.

    With love in Christ,

				*** Daryl ***

.8

Outstanding!

May the Lord bless you all the more.

    
    Sorry about your loss, Jeff.  Thoughts and prayers with you. 
    
    
    Mike

    Dear Jeff,
    
    My prayers are with you and your family.Five years ago, my aunt and
    uncle lost their 8 year old son, Jamie. He had a problem with his
    heart - they tried 5 different pacemakers during an operation, but
    all failed. Jamie died with a smile on his face. His mother was, and
    is a born-again Christian; my uncle was not. Later, my uncle did become
    a Christian - there marriage was strengthened. Was the statistic you
    had possibly secular? To me, if a marriage is built as Christ as its
    center, then NOTHING can knock it down! As Christians we are supposed
    to be married for life - and the death of a child, to me, is no reason
    to divorce.
    Here is an excerpt from the God_calling Notesfile:
    
    Rest knowing all is so safe in My hands. Rest is Trust. Ceaseless
    activity is distrust. Without the knowledge that I am working for you,
    you do not rest. Inaction then would be the outcome of despair.
    "My hand is not shortened that it cannot save."
    Know that, repeat it, rely on it, welcome the knowledge, delight in it.
    Such a truth is as a rope flung to a drowning man. Every repetition of
    it is one pull nearer shore and safety.
    Let that illustration teach you a great truth. Lay hold of the truth,
    pray it affirm it, hold onto the rope. How foolish are your attempts
    to save yourself, one hand on the rope, and one making efforts to
    swim ashore! You may relinquish your hold of the rope and hinder the
    rescuer - who has to act with the greater caution lest he lose you.
    The storms and tempests are not all of life. The Psalmist who said,
    "All Thy waves are gone over me," wrote also, "He brought me up also
    out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a
    rock, and established my goings."
    Meditate upon that wonder-truth, the 3 steps- safety,security,guidance.
    (1) "He brought me up also out of a horrible pit- *safety*.
    (2) "He set my feet upon a rock"- *Security*.
    (3) "He established my goings"- *Guidance*.
    #3 is the final stage when the saved soul trusts Me so entirely it
    seeks no more its own way but leaves all future plans to Me, its
    Rescuer.
    
    Here are some comforting verses:
    
    "But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
      like a weaned child with its mother,
      like a weaned child is my soul within me.  Psalm 131:2
    
    "The Lord is good to all;
      He has compassion on all He has made.      Psalm 145:9
    
    "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
    
    "When I am afraid I will trust in you. Psalm 56:3
    
    "Record my lament;
      list my tears on your scroll-
      are they not in your record?"        Psalm 56:8
    
    "I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
     He delivered me from all my fears."   Psalm 34:4
    
    "In my distress I called to the Lord;
     I cried to my God for help.
    From His temple he heard my voice;
     my cry came before Him, into His ears." Psalm 18:6
    
    "I, even I, am He who comforts you..." Isaiah 51:12
    
    "I have loved you with an everlasting love;
     I have drawn you with loving-kindness."    Jeremiah 31:3
    
    "But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds," declares
    the Lord.                                   Jeremiah 30:17
    
    "Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable
    things you do not know."                    Jeremiah 33:3
    
    
    Take Care,
               Deborah

    (I've been wondering where to put this in, and though it is not
    specifically on the subject of "Christians and Death", it certainly can
    apply.)
    
    Further musings from a visit last week from Peter Dugulescu, a Romanian
    brother who suffered *much* for the Lord during the communist rule
    there -- he was sharing following our Bible study (we were in Romans 8
    that night, and he was thinking about Romans 8:28).  What he shared:
    
       We all like to eat cake.  But we wouldn't enjoy eating any of the
       individual ingredients by themselves.  Flour, oil, even sugar,
       are not enjoyable when eaten by themselves.  But when they are
       properly combined and cooked, the result is very enjoyable.  Each
       of our lives is like a cake that God is preparing.  He is working
       according to His "recipe" for our lives.  When we look at
       individual experiences we have, they may not always seem
       attractive or enjoyable.  But the end product of God's working is
       for the "good" (Rom. 8:28).  Also, God doesn't use a microwave! 
       He uses a regular oven.  There are no shortcuts that we can apply
       to His plan.
    
    Mark L.        

Grace to You Dear Family!  Again, thank you for your prayers on my family's 
    behalf!  We are still alive.  We are, however, severely depressed right now.

First let me explain that anything I have shared with you so far or have yet to
share with you is coming through a flawed and confused vessel.  I do not claim
to have received from God extraordinary spiritual insights in my grief.  If
anything has happened His Word has been made more alive in me and for me.  But
this is available to any who seek after Him in their trials and tribulations.

I had asked earlier if you thought you could still trust God after the death
of a child as you trust Him in other trials.  Let me say that for us it is 
at times difficult to do so.  The bottom line is; what are you trusting God
for?  What character in God are you trusting?  Are you entrusting your 
physical lives to Him in the belief that He will spare them?  As far as I am 
concerned He will not spare our physical lives at all times.  He did not spare
Caroline's nor many many others. This makes it difficult for me to 
pray for "safety".  Yet I do!  It is a hard thing to understand but more
difficult to accept - our God, loving and kind, merciful and tender toward
us allows such things to happen.  

When we cannot scrutinize God's plans our faith is sorely tested.  In the
sorrow of the untimely death of a child all we can trust about God is that
He is God and that He loves us according to His Word, nothing happens that He 
does not allow to happen, He comforts us during our trials, His Word is 
without error and that those that trust in His Word are not ashamed for having
done so.  This trust leads to hope according to His Word.  We are waiting for 
our hope and our joy to return and to be renewed.

jeff

 

 

    Jeff, 
    
    from your last entry:
    
    When we cannot scrutinize God's plans our faith is sorely tested.  In the
    sorrow of the untimely death of a child all we can trust about God is that
    He is God and that He loves us according to His Word, nothing happens that He
    does not allow to happen, He comforts us during our trials, His Word is
    without error and that those that trust in His Word are not ashamed for
    having done so.  This trust leads to hope according to His Word.  We are
    waiting for our hope and our joy to return and to be renewed.
    
    What else is there to say that you did not express in the above
    paragraph?  Steve and I have recently gone through the unexpected
    loss of his dad, and what you wrote sums up things perfectly for
    me.  It is very hard when you are in the thick of grieving, to believe
    that everything works together for good, but IT IS TRUE.  We have
    a knowledge of our circumstances, but that does not necessarily mean
    that we have knowledge of what God is doing with them.  
    
    Your note comforted me - I'm going to keep a copy of it.  It may help
    you to refer to it when you are feeling vulnerable, to remind yourself
    of your strength in Him.
    
    Peace to you,
    Sue

Genesis 45:5
  Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me
hither: *for God did send me* before you to preserve life.

My Pastor preached about Joseph, yesterday.  Joseph went through *many*
years of slavery, prison, and service to a foreign king before uttering
these words.  I wonder how many times he asked why.  Perhaps a billion.

I have an old clock sitting on top of my piano and it has many gears
and such inside (and this is a relatively simple mechanism).  Some
gears are very small, some are large; all of them work together to 
perform one function: mark time.

With the billions of people and events that occur, what's one small gear?
What's one brother out of twelve?  What's a slave boy or a prisoner?

When we begin to even grasp the tiniest scope of the intricacies of
existence, and then think that God has a handle on ALL of it at once!,
our mouths fall open and we are dumbstruck.

I love you, Jeff, but this note is for us all and not just for you;
it is not designed to ease your pain, though I trust it will strengthen
your commitment to this God who knows the complexity as though it is
a simple thing, and know that He also loves you, and me.  This, perhaps,
more than anything strikes me dumb.

Mark

Dear Family, Grace to You in the Name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savour!
As you can understand, considering my circumstances, I am absolutely consumed
with the Word of God at this time.  It holds the truth, the only truth that
comforts grieving souls.

Faith is paramount, of course.  I wonder if I have it or have enough of it or
even know what it is sometimes.  At this moment, it is all that I believe that
I have to hold on to.  Faith in God through Jesus Christ and the promises that
He has made to us is life to me.

Hebrews Chapter 11 is marvelous in its address on faith.  I hope to memorize
it.  The immediate context of all of Hebrews is the consideration of Christ
as High Priest and exhortation to be encouraged by faith in Jesus during all
types of trials and tribulations the Jewish Christians were suffering, not to
mention their temptation to fall back into Judaism. 

Chapter 11 is such a good description of faith and the nature of God's promises
that I have to enter it in the next reply.  Linger over it long and you may 
    find new truths about faith which allow you to live more abundantly.  This
    is my prayer for all who read it today, as if for the first time.
    
    jeff

	Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of
	things not seen.  For by it the men of old gained approval.  By faith
	we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so
	that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible.

	By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain, through
	which he obtained the testimony that he was righteous, God testifying
	about his gifts, and through faith, though he is dead, he still 
	speaks.

	By faith Enoch was taken up so that he should not see death; AND HE
	WAS NOT FOUND BECAUSE GOD TOOK HIM UP; for he obtained the witness
	that before his being taken up he was pleasing to God.

	And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to
	God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder ofthose who
	seek Him.

	By faith Noah, being warned by God about things not yet seen, in
	reverence prepared an ark for the salvation of his household, by
	which he condemned the world, and became an heir of the righteousness
	which is according to faith.

	By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place
	which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not
	knowing where he was going.  By faith he lived as an alien in the land
	of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents with Isaac and
	Jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise; for he was looking for the
	city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God.  By
	faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive, even beyond the
	proper time of life, since she considered Him faithful who had
	promised; therefore, also, there was born of one man, and him as good
	as dead at that, as many descendants AS THE STARS OF HEAVEN IN NUMBER,
	AND INNUMBERABLE AS THE SAND WHICH IS BY THE SEASHORE.

	All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having
	seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having con-
	fessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.  For those
	who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of
	their own.  And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from
	which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return.  But
	as it is, they desire a better country, that is a heavenly one.
	Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has
	prepared a city for them.

	By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac; and he who had
	received the promises was offering up his only begotten son; it was he
	to whom it was said, "IN ISSAC YOUR DESCENDANTS SHALL BE CALLED."  He
	considered that God is able to raise men even from the dead; form which
	he also received him back as a type.

	By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau, even regarding things to come.
	By faith Jacob, as he was dying, blessed each of the sons of Joseph,
	and worshiped, leaning on the top of his staff.  By faith Joseph, when
	he was dying, made mention of the exodus of the sons of Israel, and
	gave orders concerning his bones.

	By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden for three months by his
	parents, because they saw he was a beautiful child; and they were not
	afraid of the king's edict.  By faith Moses, when he had grown up,
	refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter; choosing rather
	to endure ill-treatment with the people of God, than to enjoy the
	passing pleasures of sin; considering the reproach of Christ greater
	riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward.
	By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king; for he
	endured as seeing Him who is unseen.  By faith he kept the Passover
	and the sprinling of blood, so that he who destroyed the first-born
	might not touch them.  By faith they passed through the Red Sea as
	though they were passing through dry land; and the Egyptians, when
	they attempted it, were drowned.

	By faith the walls of Jericho fell down, after they had been encircled
	for seven days.

	By faith Rahab the harlot did not perish along with those who were
	disobedient, after she had welcomed the spies in peace.

	And what more shall I say?  For time will fail me if I tell of
	Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets,
	who by faith conquered kingdoms, performed acts of righteousness,
	obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions, quenched the power of
	fire, escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness were made strong,
	became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight.  Women recieved
	back their dead by resurrection; and others were tortured, not
	accepting their release, in order that they might obtain a better
	resurrection; and others experienced mockings and scourgings, yes,
	also chains and imprisonment.  They were stoned, they were sawn in
	two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they
	went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted,
	ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worty), wandering in
	deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground.

	And all these, having gained approval through their faith did not
	receive what was promised, because God had provided something better
	for us, so that apart from us they should not be made perfect.

>	And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to
>	God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who
>	seek Him.

One of my favorites!  (verse 11:6)

Want to know God?  Believe that He is, and Seek Him; HE WILL REWARD your search.

And inthe King James version it says that God "is a rewarder of them that
*dilligently* seek Him."

Let us be dilligent!

    
    Galatians 5:6 goes along with Hebrews 11:6.
    
    
    From my memory of the NIV "All that counts is faith expressed
    through love."
    
    trying to keep it simple!
    #24
    
    (from a Margaret Becker song "I want to live in a simple house where
    the Landlord's word has absolute dominion.")
                     

Jeff,

Danese asked me to enter this after reading .14:

What am I trusting God for?  That His promises are true, like Rom 8:28.

Entrusting physical life so He will spare them?  NO, trusting Him with our
family's physical lives because (1) HE created them (not we ourselves,
Ps 100:3), (2) He is trustworthy, and (3) He has more power to protect and
care for them.

The Lord DID spare Caroline's life for 3+ years from innumerable harms, until
the foreknown hour and minute came for her to be with Him.  We pray for safety
from UNNECCESSARY evils and dangers, but, may the Lord give His vision, to not
desire Him to change His perfect will if that will includes suffering and
dangers.

The Lord IS sparing Caroline's life even now AND forever.  Her physical body
is asleep, not dead (John 11:11-15), to be awakened and PERFECTED.

Why did God predestine Caroline to live such a short time on earth?  Only God
knows right now, but we will know in part possibly here, but surely in full
once we join her.  Some possibilities:

	To keep her safe from future persecution, suffering, sorrow, pain,
	sin and its consequencies;

	To keep her safe from rejecting Him as her Savior once whe reached
	accountability;

	For HIS glory.

Why did He predestine Caroline to live such a short time on earth?  For other
than Caroline, some possibilities:

	To make you more like Christ, who learned obedience through what He
	suffered;

	To reveal more of Himself to you;

	So that you can comfort others with the comfort by which you are
	(and will continue to be) comforted [to be broken bread and poured-
	 out wine to others];

	To prune you - so that you may bear more fruit, and even much fruit.

The Lord guide you and keep you, that you may rest in the "shadow of His wing".
    

    
    For those not in the know, .21, "Danese", attends the church which I
    have attended and her husband works at Digital.
    
    Thank you Danese for the encouragement!  You're correct of course.
    
    jeff

    
As you might imagine this Easter celebration is particularly poignant for
Elaine and me.  Caroline has been "asleep" for 10 weeks or so now.  From the
beginning we have not doubted that she is in heaven with Jesus, experiencing
already what we strive for - to be in the presence of God.  

God's victory over sin and death by the sacrifice of His only Son and by the
resurrection of Jesus is the gospel for the world.  Though we still weep for
our daughter, to hold her and kiss her and care for her needs and to receive
her love for us, it is Jesus's ressurection that proves we shall indeed be
raised ourselves and that we shall have eternal life - this is our hope.
Though young people we are not too young to see how short our earthly lives
are.  We realize that even if we live to old age it is not that far away and
we will be with God in paradise and reunited with our beloved Caroline.

I Thessalonians 4:13-18 is enormous comfort to us:

	But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who
	are asleep, that you may not grieve, as do the rest who have no
	hope.  For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so
	God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. For
	this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive,
	and remain until the coming of the Lord, shall not precede those
	who have fallen asleep.  For the Lord Himself will descend from
	heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the
	trumpet of God; and the dead in Christ shall rise first.  Then we
	who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in
	the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and thus we shall always
	be with the Lord.  Therefore comfort one another with these words.


Praise God that He has provided a way for us to have eternal life with Him.
This life is in His Son, Jesus.  We that have Jesus have eternal life now.
I pray I can learn more and more how to keep my eyes on Jesus and the eternal
life He has set before me.

jeff

    Jeff,
    
    Not fair, I have to go to a business lunch, popped into the conference,
    read your note and can't stop sobbing!!!! Thanks, and when they ask me
    why I'm sobbing, the story I'll have to tell them, eh?
    
    Love,
    Nancy

    
    Do tell them Nancy!  Please do tell!
    
    Love to you Sister,
    
    jeff

  re: <<< Note 32.23 by USAT05::BENSON "God's Love's Still Changing Hearts" >>>

     Jeff,

     That is, without a doubt the *best* Resurrecton Day sermon, I have ever
     heard! Your and Elaine's undiminished hope is and will continue to be a
     source of inspiration and strength to me, in the trials I am currently
     undergoing. May the L_rd bless and comfort both of you real good! FWIW,
     I couldn't get my mind off of the hymn, "It Is Well With My Soul" as I
     read your note. "And L_rd haste the day, when my faith shall be sight..."

     Great gobs of agap�,

     Brian

    On Saturday night I watched A Man Called Peter, about the life of the
    great Scottish born minister, Peter Marshall. At one point, he was asked 
    to preach at one of the great military academies. As he was preparing his 
    sermon, he couldn't rid himself of the feeling that he was preparing the 
    wrong sermon. Even just before entering to preach, looking out on the vast
    sea of faces gathered there, he said to the chaplain, "They're so young,
    I can't shake the feeling that the sermon I've prepared isn't the right
    one." The chaplain replied, "Well, just say what you want." So Peter 
    Marshall spoke on Death. 
    
    Within the context of the sermon he told a story of a young mother of
    his acquaintance whose young son was terminally ill. She had not spoken
    to the child of his condition, but as time passed and he did not grow
    better, but ever weaker, the realization of death began to dawn in his 
    young soul. One night when she entered his room, he looked at her and said,
    "Mommy, does death hurt? I'm afraid." The mother, knowing that this
    moment had to come and wanting desperately to give him an answer, left
    the room for a moment to prepare his medicine. As she turned to return to
    his room, she leaned against the doorsill for a moment and asked God to
    give her the right words.  In a moment she straightened up; she knew
    what to say.  She entered the room and sitting on the edge of the bed,
    said, "Do remember when you used to play so hard that when you came
    inside you could do nothing more than fall asleep in mother and
    father's bed? But when you woke up in the morning, you were in your
    very own room. You were there because someone loved you enough to carry 
    you there so you would wake up in your own bed, surrounded by the
    familiar things you love. That is what death is like." The young boy lay 
    looking up in her face with absolute love and trust, and all the fear had 
    left his face.  He asked no more questions. And several weeks later, it 
    happened just as she said. He went to sleep one night and when he woke, 
    he was in the other room, in his very own place surrounded by God's
    love.
    
    As Peter Marshall drove back to Washington, D.C., it was announced over
    the radio, that the Japanese had just attacked Pearl Harbor.
    
    
    
    
    Rebecca    

    Thanks so much Rebecca for putting that in.  It ministered to me in
    ways that you will never know.
    
    In His love,
    Dave

    That was really beautiful, Rebecca. Thanks from me too.

    In Christ,

				*** Daryl ***

Dear Family,

My two-year-old daughter Caroline died in a tragic accident in our home one
year ago today.  I can't help but recall the day.  And I can't help but
recall how your prayers and concern for us made such a positive difference
in our lives.  I thanked God for you then and I thank him today again as I
think of you and your demonstrable love for us.

It has been a difficult year for us. Losing to death my daughter would have
seemed incredible and impossible while she lived.  Living with the grief
has seemed even more impossible at times.  Yet we are alive and our lives have
not been joyless, thanks to our God.

My main reason for posting this entry is to let you know with surety that 
Jesus Christ is sufficient even in the death of a beloved child.  It is 
absolutely true that He is strongest in our lives when we are weakest.  I
promise you this is true.  You might wonder how His strength is manifested
during a time of utter weakness.  Well, its not through signs and wonders
that he revealed Himself to us. It was through a quickening of our spirits -
a sense of peace and love and hope.  It was the strength of the testimony of
His Word - His assurance and His promises of love and a future hope made
alive in us by His presence.  It was the empathy and sympathy of His servants
who ministered to us, expressed their/His love for us and provided for us
when we could not provide for ourselves. These things together were how He
revealed Himself in us and to us during our terrible times.  I believe it
bears repeating - God's grace is sufficient in our suffering. You can count
on it if you abide in Him.

We are different people as a result of Caroline's death and God's revelation
to us.  As long as we are separated from Caroline we will yearn to be with
her.  And we will cry tears of grief along the way until our reconciliation
with her and the Truth.  But we are not alone.  God is with us through our
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and this is no small consolation.

Again, thank you for your love over this past year(s).  We will always be
indebted to you.

jeff

"Have you considered my servant Job?"

    .30
    
    Jeff, all to vivid a memory for me too.  I sat her at my desk crying
    with people tiptoeing around me.  
    
    Remembering with you,
    Nancy

    I can feel for you too. 4 years ago today my mother went to Paradise. I
    wept on the way to work, today, and even now tears fill my eyes. She not 
    only taught me about the unconditional Love of God, she lived it.
    
    I miss her dearly, and thank God she went to be with Him, as her life
    was a life which endured much suffering. God was gracious in allowing
    her to pass on during the night. She woke up in a better place, I am
    sure.
    
    Bob

I am happy for those who have gone on before us.  On that theme, I want 
to reprint my euology for Jack Cove, a man from my church.

                              Jack Cove

 I have no reason to be here except that Jack loved me beyond what I
 deserve. Now isn't that just like Jesus? Isn't that just like Jack?

 As I reflected on Jack, I recorded the following Scripture:

    Isaiah 35:10

      and the ransomed of the Lord will return.
    They will enter Zion with singing;
      everlasting joy will crown their heads.

    Psalm 40:1-3

    I waited patiently for the Lord;
      he turned to me and heard my cry.
    He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
      out of the mud and mire;
    he set my feet on a rock
      and gave me a firm place to stand.
    He put a new song in my mouth,
      a hymn of praise to our God.

    Psalm 96:1-4

    Sing to the Lord a new song;
      sing to the Lord, all the earth
    Sing to the Lord, praise His name;
      proclaim His salvation day after day.
    Declare his glory among the nations,
      his marvelous deeds among the people.
    For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;

    Psalm 98:1,4

    Sing to the Lord a new song;
      for he has done marvelous things;
    his right hand and his holy arm
      have worked salvation for him.

    Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth,
      burst into jubilant song with music;
    make music to the Lord with the harp,
      with the harp and the sound of singing,
    with trumpets and the blast of the ram's horn--
    shout for joy before the Lord, the King.

    Isaiah 42:10

    Sing to the Lord a new song,
      his praise from the ends of the earth,

    Psalm 149:1

    Praise the Lord.
    Sing to the Lord a new song,
      his praise in the assembly of the saints.

    Bertha Munroe
    Charles Strickland
    Verlin Long
    Edith Cove
    Esther Williamson
    Marvin Lunn
    Jack White
    William Taylor
    Jack Cove

 These are but a few names in a long list of people who had one thing
 in common: They lived for God.

 The heritage that we have is rich and full. Look around you, young peo-
 ple and take note of the hoary-headed ones, whose experience in the
 Lord is a beacon for us to follow. Advancing age scoffs at us all, and
 our bodies begin to crumble, and it betrays the value that lies within.
 We have stage classes (age-oriented), and that is wonderful for our
 fellowship, but be so ever careful not to neglect the fellowship of
 the elders, who can help us as we progress along the same time line
 towards eternity. The body is not who we are, as we well know. We shall
 put on incorruptible bodies, and immortality. I encourage you young
 people to seek the guidance and company of your elders.

 I had known Jack for a mere seven years. I wish I had known him more.
 One Sunday evening, after we all met around the altar and we getting
 ready to depart, Jack caught me by the arm, and looked me square in
 the eye (as he always did, probing the soul beneath) and said, "Mark,
 I love you." At the time, I responded, "I like you, too, Jack." For
 you see, at the time I had not yet gotten to know Jack well enough to
 say that I loved him. But then that was the way of Jack; to always warm
 up and love someone first. It didn't take me long to come to love Jack.

 Many of us have been blessed by the music that Jack brought to us. I
 was privileged to sing with him in the men's quartet. And the choir
 was bolstered by his presence. As he led the music of the church into
 praise and into worship, he brought us into a greater sense of the Almighty.
 It was my privilege and an honor to join him in song.

 One of my fondest recollections was our duet we sang several months
 ago. When Jack became bound to a wheel chair, I knew he thought per-
 haps his days were on the wane. I asked if he would sing a duet with
 me and I think I surprised him. I told him that just because his legs
 wouldn't support him that his voice should be silenced.

 Ah, that sweet voice. As many of you know, I prefer to sing some of
 the older songs. (I think this as much as anything endeared me to Jack.)
 I asked him to select the song, which he did, and I was amazed at how
 many of the old songs he knew. He taught me the duet we sang. I shall
 miss the rich and valuable resource of musical inspiration Jack was
 to me.

 Jack also delighted us with his piano playing, at times playing on mu-
 sic night, or for a special offertory. But moreso we knew his distinc-
 tive and clear tenor, bringing us the message of the Grace of God. I
 am sure Jack had many favorite songs and he sang each with a passion
 as if the words were penned by himself expressly for giving God the
 glory. But his all-time favorite song, I am told, was He Giveth More
 Grace.

    He giveth more grace as the burdens grow greater,
    He sendeth more strength as the labors increase,
    To added affliction he addeth his mercy
    To multiplied trials, his multiplied peace.
      His love has no limit
      His grace has no measure
      His power has no boundary known unto men
    For out of his infinite riches in Jesus,
    He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

 You know, the more the Lord God inhabits his servants, the more they
 become like Him. And this is the testimony of Jack's spirit; the Spirit
 of God that dwelt inside a man who gave of himself tirelessly, and the
 giving of himself even when he was tired, as Jack often did.

 1 Thessalonians 4:13 says, "Brothers, we do not want you to be igno-
 rant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men,
 who have no hope." If I knew Jack at all, he would not want our grief
 for him, for he is with Christ. "To be absent from the body is to be
 with Christ," says the apostle Paul to those who believe on Jesus. But
 we do grieve for ourselves the loss of one so dear as Jack.

 His parting leaves a void in us because Jack was a part of our expe-
 rience; part of our lives; part of us. We grieve for ourselves because
 of the emptiness he leaves. However, when we recognize the hope we have
 in Christ Jesus, we can say, while clinging onto life on earth, be-
 cause it *is* dear, "Even so, Lord Jesus, Come." Because of this, I
 actually enjoy a good Christian funeral (please understand me) because
 it is a sort of celebration; a home-coming.

 I know Jack didn't want to die; to leave the earth so soon. He would
 have preferred to stay around a little while longer to see Evan grow
 another year, to sing another song, and to see another saved; perhaps
 even a loved one. Although the Christian steps into timeless eternity
 with Almighty God, we enjoy the finite life that He has created here
 on earth, and eternity is not diminished if our finite lives are length-
 ened.

 But this I also know. Jack was ever ready to answer the call of His
 Lord Christ Jesus, even the call to come home.

 In Jack's final days on this earth, we had a couple of talks, and I
 told him that he would merely precede us and would be surprised one
 day and turn around in heaven to ask, "Are you here so soon?" Each day
 we live is a day towards eternity. Those of us whose hope is in Christ
 Jesus will see Jack again and rejoin our friendship and fellowship.

 Jack's cancer was tragic, but the blessings of the Lord were these:
 that he wasn't taken from us suddenly; that he was able to give us a
 few more precious songs; that he was able to spend a bit more time with
 his family, despite the pain. Yes, we can find blessing in sorrow. We
 can see joy in tragic circumstances. We can be thankful to God for al-
 lowing us a few more days before He called Jack for his command per-
 formance before the King.

 Jack left behind a few things. He left behind a legacy of Christlike-
 ness that touched many of us, and many about whom we will never know.
 He left behind many an area of ministry that will keenly feel the vac-
 uum he leaves. He left behind a dear and beautiful wife in Irene. He
 left behind his family and extended family (all of us) with the burn-
 ing concern that we would all come to know the Lord and unite again
 in heaven to sing the praises of our King.

 And He left behind the pain of the cancer that caused his suffering.
 To be absent from the body is to be with Christ, of this there is no
 doubt about Jack.

 People who come to the church after Jack, may not know how much he meant
 to us, except by the testimony of those whom he has touched. People,
 like me, who have been touched by Jack, will always remember him as
 a man of God. And there is no greater tribute any man can have than
 to say, "He was a man of God." Jack Cove was a man of God.

 And you can be certain beyond all doubt that Jack, as he passed from
 this life into eternity, has heard the words "Well done, thou good and
 faithful servant. Enter into the joy I have prepared for you."

 I would venture to guess that the gift of song that Jack had, whose
 blessing and talent was multiplied here on earth, now rings clear and
 perfected with the heavenly host. And he shall sing this song among
 many others:

    Crown Him with many crowns,
    The Lamb upon His throne.
    Hark how the heavenly anthem drowns all music but its own
    Awake my soul and sing of Him who died for thee
    And hail him as thy matchless King
    Through all eternity.

 Jack now is in the presence of God, joining in the chorus of glory singing
 "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is
 to come."

 Jack Cove lives forever with the King. And when we all get to heaven
 (and I know it was Jack's prayer for you that you do), what a day of
 rejoicing that will be! No, we do not grieve as others who have no hope,
 for our hope is in Christ Jesus who conquered death to give us life.

Thank you, Jeff.