Conference vaxcat::friends

    Veet!...Veet!...Vooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
    
    
    
         

    I say GIVE ME THAT PICKLE!!!! or Else!.
    
    Marti  ... *(((8-)
    

    
    
    "Money".........  "Nothing to be Ashamed Of"
    
    
    

    
    
    That will be the lottery line then...
    
    
    Angie

Horace

Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay
Horace ate himself one day.
He didn't stop to say his grace,
He just sat down and ate his face.
"We can't have this!" his Dad declared,
"If that lad's ate, he should have shared."
But even as he spoke they saw
Horace eating more and more:
First his legs and then his thighs,
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes...
"Stop him someone!" Mother cried
"Those eyeballs would be better fried!"
But all too late, for they were gone,
And he had started on his dong...
"Oh! Foolish child!" the father mourns
"You could have deep-fried that with prawns,
Some parsley and some tartar sauce..."
But H. was on his second course:
His liver and his lights and lung,
His ears, his neck, his chin, his tongue;
"To think I raised him from the cot
And now he's going to scoff the lot!"
His Mother cried: "What shall we do?
What's left won't even make a stew..."
And as she wept, her son was seen
To eat his head, his heart, his spleen.
And there he lay: a boy no more,
Just a stomach, on the floor...
None the less, since it was his
They ate it -- that's what haggis is.*

  Haggis is a kind of stuffed black pudding eaten by the
Scots and considered by them to be not only a delicacy but fit for human
consumption.  The minced heart, liver and lungs of a sheep, calf or other
animal's inner organs are mixed with oatmeal, sealed and boiled in maw in the
sheep's intestinal stomach-bag and...  

    Hello Marti, before we go on would you please explain for a poor
    purple winged alien what the term "assertive" at all means?
    
    ;)
    Marti-na

    
    	Assertive means confident, outgoing, forward. How's that? :)
    
    
    chico

    Wow, it means something POSITIVE!
    
    To be perfectly honest ..... after having gone through all these
    unhidden notes from last night....... I thought about something swiny.
    Well,,,,, says something about my phantasies, doesn't it.
    
    ;)
    Martina
    
    I think I am assertive. Sometimes at least. ;)

	An English guy explained me it just like Chico did it in last note.

	Well I'm not assertive at all. In my face, someone can't see that I'm
not sure of myself because I allways try to hide it...

			S�r qu'il n'est pas s�r de lui,		BenJ.	;)

    I never hide when I'm not sure about myself. ;)
    I freely and openly say:  I am a little afraid of giving a presentation
    on Monday in front of 50 customers. ;) ;)
    But I'll manage. As always.
    
    ;)
    Martina_not_sure_about_herself_but_about_her_ability_to_pretend_not_to_be_
    unsure
    ;)

    Now I show my assertiveness and go home. ;)))))))))
    
    Have a great Weekend everyone and a sunshiny nice Memorial Day.
    
    It is great to have friends. I don't feel alone when I am it.
    
    Good night
    ;)
    Martina_floating_amongst_the_silent_stars_all_alone_in_the_night_of_space

    Hi I am much more assertive now after my course.
    
    Marti

    Assertive??????
    
    Wanna know a secret????? 
    ;)
    
    I am not. ;)
    But don't tell anybody. ;)
    I always pretend to be assertive. That is my normal image. And people
    rely on it. If anybody finds out that I am not,,,,, well, some will
    find it quite peculiar.
    
    ;)
    Martina

    Does anyone have any tips on being assertive?.
    
    Marty

    YEA, BUT I'M KEEPING IT TO MYSELF, SOOOOOOO THERE.
    
    
    That was pretty assertive, don't you think?? :)
    
    ...Tom

    Tips for assertiveness:
    
        - force yourself to do things where you don't think you have the
          courage for. 
          (Eg: reading your poetry in front of a tv camera, holding a pre-
           sentation in front of customers in a foreign language)
    
        - surround yourself with the image of being completely
          selfconfident. You'll end up with people admiring you for
          something you don't have. ;)))))
    
       - when walking down the isles hold your head up and maintain a 
         selfconfident posture. It works, believe me. ;)
    
       - Maintain an interesting environment about yourself. So people will 
         find you interesting and you come to know interesting other people.
    
    And one last thing: achieve the attitude of life being fun. Live each 
    minute as if it were a lot of fun. Eg smile when standing in a long
    supermarket queue. Smiling will pump up your miserable mood.
    Life is there for you to live it. Take advantage of it!
    
    ;)
    Martina
    
    without_self_confidence_and_assertiveness_actually....
    

	Twix, I love what U said. It's so true...

	U can be assertive for example when U pass an exam. U look at the
subject and U smile even if U don't anderstand its meaning. U finish before the
time out with a big smile, and U take care about reading the last question of
the subject. Then, when s.o ask U if it worked for U, U reply that the last
question was abit harder than the other one but U managed to find a result. U
give him  an imaginary result with a big smile and then U appreciate his face
becoming green.
	I'm not assertive at all, but sometimes I love to give the image of an
assertive man.

	Twix U said:          
>	    (Eg: reading your poetry in front of a tv camera, ...

	I made this for an English oral. The poetry was "Will U be there?". I
managed to make the audience cry. It was terrific. I was in front of a video
camera. When I have seen the film, I've found myself absolutely horrible. I hate
my face triing to read something to others...

				Better in life than on a TV,	BenJ.	;)

    
    
    Martina
    
    
    by performing the acts you said, you become that which you say you are
    not!
    
    Chris
    :)

    No Chris, that's not what I said. 
    
    
    I said: by performing the acts you APPEAR to be what you actually
            are not. ;))))))))
    
    That is the real trick. If you can convince people that you actually
    ARE assertive, you officially become it.
    Nobody needs to know that you as a matter of fact are not.
    
    ;)))))))))))
    
    It works for me..... can't you tell?????
    
    ;) ;) ;) ;)
    Martina_the_imaginatively_assertive_alien

    I forgot one action which definitely helps to be recognized as
    a fully assertive conscient being:
    
       - Move to a foreign country to complete your skills in that
         particular foreign language.
    
    ;)
    Martina_with_green_alien_antennas_and_cute_little_purple_wings
    
    PS: I wouldn't bet on the "conscient" part, though.....

    Here goes for a Assertive exercise!.
    
    
    Hiyayayayayupupupuhiyayoyoyo ochochoch! yaayyaahiya!
    (Spit,gob) Hiyayaaaaeeeyaaaooofaaahiyaaa!
    (Breath) ooookaaayaaooffph!
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Pwarp!     OOops Sorry!
    
    (Och I was getting there aswell, I was assertive there and I
    said sorry!)

    Okay, I'm going for itv again!.
    
    OompffaahiyaAnd kneesbentaaryahurgh !!
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Barp!
    
    
    
    
    
    I wont apoligies I refuse! ;-).
    
    
    Marty

    There are many ways to express your assertiveness. But..... don't
    overdo it. Otherwise the following happens:
    
    People say you are....   ... when they really think you are
          communicative      - chatty
          self-confident     - conceited
          intelligent        - strange
          witty              - *very* strange
          impressive         - crazy like a sh*thouse-rat ;)))))
          obnoxiously pretty - pretty obnoxious
    
    I think this is happening to me since I decided to be only and just me.
    
    ;)
    Martina obnoxious alien with strange green antennae and purple wings

    Here's some more "advice" for being assertive:
    
    Well,,,,, ;)))))
    
    When you're not so obnoxiously pretty that everybody is just knocked
    out by your appearance the moment you appear,,, here's what you can
    do instead and nearly achieve the same reaction:
    
       - Walk down the isle feeling like a princess.
    
    That works. ;)  At least for me. ;)
    I only look average. So I try to dress "Martina style" and wear my
    stuff with pride. (That only works if you wear what you like).
    In addition to that I try to feel special when walking and
    communicating - "like a princess". That gives me the (terribly ;) )
    needed self-confidence which then shows as if being a natural part
    of my personality. As a result people register me walking by and
    not just overlook me. 
    And people smile and greet you even when you don't know them.
    
    ;)
    Martina-Data, alien who "knows how to become assertive" but isn't
    

    I feel like being assertive today, So I have to go into a MotorCar
    parts store today, My girlfriend bought a new set of Brake shoes for
    her car, I am replacing them. I done one side, until I went to do the
    otherside , both shoes are the same, they should be different.
    
    So I am taking them back, without the other 2, only the 2 that are the
    same, and getting them changed.
    I would normaly just leave it but NOPE!, I am going in there, I am
    going up to the counter and reaching over , grabbing the guys tie
    and saying" Get these flipin shoes changed mister!" and if he hasn't
    or wont change them, I will get my girlfriend on to him, she 's
    assertive.
    
    Marti

	Marti!!!  Being assertive doesn't necessarily mean being nasty!!!!

	Just tell him they are not right and you want the correct ones this 
	time!

	Lola

    zZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzZzzzzzZzzzZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZ(SNOOZE!_)ZZZZZzzzzzz

    yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn!
    
    ;)

    Assertive is eg when you struggle very hard to build up your own
    personality and add a good portion of self confidence to it and even
    get other people to admire you for that and then.....
    when your ex-husband comes.....
    manage to let your self-confidence survive even when it gets tough
    and don't give up your own personality just because of the convenience
    of peace in an otherwise anyways not properly working relationship.
    And.... let your poetic romantic nature survive as well.
    
    Bottom line: I think I earned some respect from him so far this week.
    
    ;)
    Martina_still_weaker_as_normal_and_without_Data

    How does one build the confidence or be assertive to go and do
    something they want to do, but feel that they could only do it if they
    had someone else to go with i.e Sport of some kind. But would really
    like to be able to go for it themselves.
    
    Marti

    Suddenly living alone after about 10 years of relationship in the
    shadow of the partner brought me exactly into the dilemma you're 
    describing in note 338.30.
    I wanted desperately to go and do things by myself, but just did not
    know how to. And so I did not, because I did not have the confidence
    to do them by myself.
    Also being overweight did not necessarily improve the situation a
    lot... 
    So I started with sports. I had not been involved in sports since
    school at that time. But I knew, if I like to change my bodily
    and social situation stepping out of the hiding place is inevitable.
    So I at first started with Aerobics at work. We had aerobics classes
    at lunch time. But time was soon a critical issue and I stopped that.
    I joined the Health Club where the Aerobics teacher worked and
    developed the confidence to show up there with my figure at that time.
    Then I started slowly. Now I know a lot of people there, can do
    things together with them, can participate in group sports, social
    events. The confidence I gained contributed to developing a more
    outgoing personality and the constant exercise had the welcome side
    effect to slim and trim me. ;)
    Now I can just live my personality that was hidden for so long, do 
    whatever I like, and can even be incentive on people to do things
    together with me.
    I so to speak discovered my green antennae and the purple wings and
    learned how to use them.
    The whole process took me 1.5 years. So don't expect anything easy.
    
    
    Summary: Even I could develop assertiveness and confidence, 
             and so can you.
    
    Suggestion for the sports part: 
        If you want to do sports, look for a local facility where
        your preferred kind of sports is performed and try it.
    
    ;)
    Martina-Data
    The hourglass shaped alien gracefully flaps her purple wings.

>    How does one build the confidence or be assertive to go and do
>    something they want to do, but feel that they could only do it if they
>    had someone else to go with i.e Sport of some kind.

  Do you mean spectator sports (such as attending a soccer game) or playing
sports?
  I have never really worked out the dilemma of finding someone to play sports
with. I have never been enthused about playing or watching sports anyway, but
I would do more sports if I had more friends.
  15 years ago I joined a social club. When I attend activities, I usually go
by myself. Going by myself usually was not a problem, but I have heard of
people in this club who were uncomfortable about going to meetings by them-
selves.
  I don't think I would go to a baseball or football game by myself because 
there is a lot of idle time before the game starts (if you want to get a good
seat), and I would get bored during this time. Also, I want to have someone to
discuss the game with (much more interesting that way).

    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!