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Conference vaxcat::friends

Title:Welcome to Friends!
Moderator:POWDML::VENTURA
Created:Mon Mar 09 1992
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:437
Total number of notes:35174

104.0. "Children are our Future" by MJBOOT::TEMPSEC () Thu Oct 22 1992 21:54

    As all of you know there is quite a task to raising children. 
    Beginning at the time they are born, to the time they get teeth, etc,
    we all need advice and help from others.  Some of us don't have the
    moms to pass this info along.
    
    Well, this is your column.  If you have any questions, need advice or
    would just like to write to someone who may be going through what you
    are, please feel free to express your views and concerns.  
    
    I, for one, have a 14 month old baby boy who is just starting to walk
    on his own and is getting SIX TEETH at the same time.  There have been
    many nights that I have set up with him until he went back to sleep. 
    There have been many frustrating moments but my baby and I are going to
    make it through this difficult period.
    
    So, please, use this column to your advantage.
    
    Cheryl
    
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104.1XCUSME::HOGGEI am the King of NothingThu Oct 22 1992 22:0611
    SIX TEETH!  I though I had it rough when Raymond cut 3 at 3 months!
    
    YUCK!  We talked with our doctor about it and he recommedned using 
    Ambesol on his gumms whenever he awoke crying.  It seemed to help 
    somewhat.
    
    But the way doctors change their minds about how to handle situations
    I'd recommend talking to yours on the phone before you do it.
    
    
    Skip
104.2XCUSME::HOGGEI am the King of NothingThu Oct 22 1992 22:078
    HAH!  That's what you get for having a HUMAN baby!
    
    We dragons are born with all our teeth already there.  Makes it a lot 
    eaiser to chomp down pizza's.
    
    ;-)
    
    --Griffin
104.3DRAGON-SLAYERS ARISE!!!!!!MJBOOT::TEMPSECThu Oct 22 1992 22:457
    I take it you like this column, but please be serious.  I don't want to
    hurt Griffs feelings but if he continues to insult me I'm gonna have to
    call my DRAGON-SLAYERS.  So now please be a good dragon and stay out of
    my column.  Some dragons have their nerve!!!!!!!!!
    
    ;-p  Cheryl
    
104.4MJBOOT::TEMPSECThu Oct 22 1992 22:462
    
    
104.5XCUSME::HOGGEI am the King of NothingThu Oct 22 1992 22:5810
    Cheryl, 
    
    Sorry, didn't mean to get you mad.
    I was just pointing out the advantages of having a dragon instead of 
    a human.
    
    SNiff sniff
    
    --Griffin 
            
104.6ASDG::J_MCGEEFri Oct 23 1992 18:2914
    Awww poor dragon...
    
     This is a great topic. I agree that the Children are our future. They
    will be sitting where we are one day.. Well, maybe not exactly where we
    are. :v)
       
     They will be either enjoying some of our decisions or suffering from
    them. We need to think out our problems carefully.
    
    They will be running our business and our cities and towns and running 
    our govenment...  We must remember.. what we decide today.. they will
    have to live with tomorrow.
    
    Joe
104.7XCUSME::HOGGEI am the King of NothingFri Oct 23 1992 18:3510
    Saw the best message yet regarding children and ecology today at
    lunch...
    
    We do not inheret the Earth from our parents, we take it from our
    children.
    
    
    Sort of makes you stop and think.
    
    Skip
104.8ASDG::J_MCGEEFri Oct 23 1992 18:373
    Yep.. that says a mouthful.  
    
    Joe
104.9children are our futureMJBOOT::TEMPSECMon Oct 26 1992 19:5212
         That is so true Joe.  We are responsible for what 
         happens to our children.  Though they are the ones 
         who choose right from wrong, we are the ones to 
         give them those choices.  What we say or do can 
         have a major impact on their lives and we have to 
         be so careful that we don't give them the "Do as i 
         say, not as I do"!! syndrome.
         
         Any other comments!!!!
         
         Cheryl
         
104.10ICS::ANDERSON_MThu Oct 29 1992 19:1746
    As the parent of a 23 year old woman and a 21 year old man - I
    sometimes look at them and say to myself ... "where did the time
    go"?
    
    I remember giving birth as if it happened this morning.  And 
    when they were cranky, teething, crawling, puking and pooping 
    all over everything - I couldn't wait until they got out of 
    diapers and could get themselves dressed and tie their own 
    shoes.  Then they started school ... they got on the bus that 
    first morning and I balled my eyes out.  When they got involved 
    in Brownies and Street Hockey we got involved too.  They had 
    slumber parties & birthday parties and we took lots and lots 
    of pictures - and even today they will sit and look at old
    pictures of themselves and laugh.  They refer to them as "the 
    good old days"!  
    
    She was a cheerleader and worked two jobs after school.  Then as
    boys began to ask her out - all my teenage dating experiences 
    instantly flashed in my mind.  Good Lord ... I hope she doesn't  
    make the same mistakes I made. (ouch)  I remember the day they 
    each got their drivers license - and I remember how scared I was 
    when they drove off in their FIRST car.   The year he signed up 
    for the draft I wanted to put him in his crib.  I knew he would be 
    safe - no - I knew I would not lose him.  She went off to college 
    ... and the vision of her playing with Barbie dolls in the corner 
    of her bedroom flashed before my eyes.
    
    I learned you don't "own" your children.  They are loaned to 
    you ... to nuture, love, protect, and respect.  From the moment
    they take their first breath - you are learning what it's like 
    to let them go.  It's so difficult to let them go!  
    
    If I had to give one bit of advice I would have to say "praise 
    your child".  Self-esteem is crucial if we want to ensure that 
    they are happy, productive, successful, and responsible adults.  
    If they believe in themselves...they can do ANYTHING!!
    
    ...and, let the dishes sit in the sink and don't worry about
    whether the beds get made in the morning.  Love them, hug them 
    ... talk with them and laugh with them.  They are little for
    such a short period of time.  Before you know it - they will 
    be all grown up and you'll be giving advice like me!  ;*)
    
    Regards,
    
    
104.11PARITY::ELWELLC. P. E.Thu Oct 29 1992 19:2111
    Yup, it's difficult to let go. When my older son announced he wanted
    to go to West Point, my first reaction was "Hell, they only take
    valedictorians", but I'm so glad I didn't. He got in, and graduated.
    In the top 1/4 of his class.
    
    The day he reported in 1987 was hell for me. But it was the right
    thing to do. He's on the west coast now, in grad school to get
    a master's in education. I'd never do it, but it's what he wanted, and
    he'll work for and get it himself.
    
    B
104.12XCUSME::HOGGEI am the King of NothingThu Oct 29 1992 20:387
    Gee, do I detect a note of (very well earned mind you) pride there 
    bob?
    
    I hope Raymond grows up with the kind of 'gumtion' your son has
    displayed.
    
    Skip
104.13LETTING GO IS NOT EASY!!!!!!!MJBOOT::TEMPSEC"It's not the end of the world"Mon Nov 02 1992 15:4273
         I'm and finding it so hard to let go of 
         my oldest son, even though I know that he 
         is the very capable hands of my parents.  
         I still wonder if I did the right thing 
         in giving up all rights to him to my 
         parents.  See I came from a drug and 
         alcohol problem and I almost gave him up 
         for adoption, I'm glad I didnt.  If it 
         wasn't for the Lord leading me and 
         guiding me through this difficult 
         situatuin, I don't know if I would have 
         done this, but the Bible says that there 
         is a purpose for everything.  The program 
         I went through, their introduction 
         center, did not really have accomadations 
         (sp?) for children of that age (3 
         months).  So the only choice I had was to 
         give temporary custody to my parents.  
         Which I am grateful that they did. The 
         bible also says that the children shall 
         pave the way, and my child paved the way 
         for me and my parents to finally 
         communicate better.  My father had 
         disowned me and refused to talk to me.  
         My mother took a chance, she said that 
         Dad probably would'nt let her go on 
         anymore shopping trips but she was going 
         to take that chance.
         
         So for 6 years that battle went on until 
         I was finally able to let go and let GOD 
         do His thing.  My parents have full 
         custody of my son but I have visiting 
         rights and though I am not allowed to 
         take him very far, I can take him out to 
         lunch or shopping whenever I go home to 
         Md to visit. It has been a long hard 
         struggle between wanting my son and 
         leaving him with my parents, knowing full 
         well that they can take care of him and 
         his special disorder.  Later, if he has 
         questions, I want to be there to answer 
         as many as I can.  
         
         Recently, I was able to renew the 
         friendship I had with his father and that 
         helps alot.  He has a desire to see his 
         son and wouldnt jeopardize that chance 
         that my parents would never give him.  
         You see Mitchell is black and for along 
         time my father could'nt accept me or his 
         first grandson, but when my mother 
         decided to take that chance, my father 
         was able to open his eyes to the fact 
         that he has a grandson and love has no 
         color.  My parents are great with my son, 
         and I do so appreciate the fact that they 
         haven't asked anything from me other than 
         to show my son the love that I never had 
         as a child.  In a way my parents are 
         trying to make up to my son what they 
         could'nt give me or rather did'nt know 
         how to give.  I was a problem child and 
         they did everything they knew to try to 
         get through to me but I rebelled and 
         rejected their instruction, thinking that 
         I should find out for myself. WHEW!!! Was 
         I wrong in thinking that my way was the 
         only way.  I soon realized this and hope 
         that my sons don't make the same mistake.
         
         Cheryl
         
104.14XCUSME::HOGGEI am the King of NothingMon Nov 02 1992 15:5314
    Cheryl,
    
    Sniff, that's beautiful.  
    
    It's amazing how, the older we become, the smarter our parents get.
    I used to think that was just and 'old adage' then I thought that it
    was because I started to discover that a lot of the things they tried 
    to 'drill' into me were in fact true.  But lately I'm discovering that 
    it's something that works both ways.  THEY DO become smarter as they 
    get older... more tolerant, better understanding, and capable of
    learning their mistakes, the mistakes they made as we grew up with
    them.  
    
    Skip
104.1561132::CASEYMEOC02::CASEY is where I am.Mon Nov 02 1992 17:006
    Re .14
    
    My thoughts exactly, Skip.
    
    Don
    *8-)
104.16PARITY::ELWELLC. P. E.Mon Nov 02 1992 17:107
    A bit of pride there, Skip.
    
    But the real intent was to say that the morning in 1983 that my older 
    son walked down the stadium steps at West Point leaving the rest
    of us there to fend for ourselves on the post tours and stuff
    until a parade late in the afternoon was really rough for me. My
    wife had a better handle on it.
104.17Hats off to K-Mart Australia this year!!MEOC02::CASEYVAXphone=MEO78B::CASEY, MelbourneWed Dec 23 1992 17:0129
    Our sales unit did something different about pressies this year. Each
    one of us was asked to spend a maximum of $5 on ONE only present which
    was to be given, anonymously, to a person whose name would be
    supplied.. having been drawn from a hat at random. This meant that each
    one of us knew WHO was to receive the anonymous gift we'd be giving -
    so we could ensure the gift would be appropriate. 
    
    For anyone who felt they wanted to do more, their attention was drawn to 
    the special Christmas Tree over at the adjoining K-Mart. The idea with the 
    K-Mart tree was that a shopper would take a small cardboard gift card off 
    the tree, on which was written the name of the would-be recipient and 
    their age. All of the children whose names were on the cards were children 
    who had to rely on charity this Christmas. The idea was that the K-Mart 
    shopper would buy a gift - not necessarily at K-Mart - and have it placed at
    the foot of the tree, with the would-be recipients's name on it. I bought 
    a nice little gift of a plastic car kit for "Luke" who was aged
    11, for example. Within just a few short days, ALL the gift cards had
    been taken from the special Christmas Tree and there were presents for
    the needy all about the foot of it. K-Mart had offered, by the way,
    that if ANY cards were not taken from the tree, and hence no present 
    obtained for the needy li'l child, then K-Mart would be supplying one 
    anyway.
    
    It was a hugely successful idea by K-Mart .. it generated a lot of
    goodwill .. (which won't hurt their business) .. but it truly ensured
    that many more children got some nice new presents this year!
    
    Don
    *8-)