| Two Swedish wedding customs (that probably didn't make it into the
Time- Life cookbook) are the Svensexa and Mohippa. (The Swedish
equivalents of the batchelor party.) Mine went something like this:
some good friends had the custom of coming over to our apartment to do
their laundry. So they borrowed the key one evening. At 4 AM the
next morning, a gang came snuck into the bedroom, blindfolded us,
bundled us into the car (in pajamas!) and drove us off to a park
(where we had a lovely picnic on the grass.)
The classic Svensexa leaves the groom, drunk as a skunk, somewhere in
Sweden clad only in a nightshirt and blindfold (and with no money).
The mohippa is a female equivalent, in which the bride-to-be is
dressed in a wedding gown and made up like a $2 whore -- she and her
girlfriends then go off for a dinner.
Martin.
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| From: [email protected] (Dave Walden)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.nordic
Subject: Norwegian seddings
Date: 6 Aug 90 05:55:40 GMT
Organization: USC-Information Sciences Institute
I got some intersting replies about weddings in Norway. They
seem pretty much like ours except for the ring and the necessity to
make a good speach. Those items were completely unexpected. If you
have anything more to add, please don't hesitate.
Dave Walden
[email protected]
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From: [email protected] (A. Elster):
> 10) What is customary for an engagement ring and wedding ring? Here a
> diamond is almost universal for engagement, with a plain band
> added to it at the wedding. Here, jewelery stores tell you they
> ought to cost about two month's pay for the man. Places without
> the direct interest in that matter say anything between two weeks
> and two months.
In Norway (and, I believe also in the rest of Scandinavia) a solid gold
band is exchanged as engangement rings ("forlovelsesring"), usually
engraved, say "Din Anne", and "Din David". The rings are then engraved
with the wedding dates (some do their engament date, often Janyary 1,
19XX) and again handed out at the wedding (if one wants to) and
promply renamed "giftering". Unlike in Germany where the ring is worn
on the left ring finger while enganged and then moved to the right, it
is always worn on the right hand in Scandinavia (unlike in the US where
wedding bands are worn on the left).
Norwegian women do not expect to be wearing any fancier bands than
their SOs -- as a matter of fact, it's often the man's ring which is
more expensive (weighs more). However, we do also expect our SOs to
wear the engagement band [personal comment: what a sexist tradition you
have here in the US!!].
> 11) Are there any customs on which people should be invited to weddings
> and receptions? (And are both weddings and receptions customary?)
Who and how many guests are invited vary a lot. It really depends on
the couple. "Receptions" are sometimes done the following day (or at
some later point) if a small wedding was held (or the wedding at an
inaccessible place for a lot of "would-be" guests). Like in the US,
extended family members (incl. parents' siblings and their families)
and close friends of the couple makes up the most common wedding
parties.
> 13) What is typical for wive's names there? Here the most common
> tradition is for the woman to change her last name to that of
> her husband's.
At least half of Scandinavian brides of the 80s and 90s seem to keep
their maiden name. The rest tend to keep it as a middle name. No
Scandinavia woman would appreciate being addressed with her husband's
title and/or first name (e.g. Mrs. Thor Olsen). It would be considered
very rude (regardless of age).
Honeymoons? You bet!!
Anne C. Elster
[email protected]
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From: Ola Kristian Hoff <[email protected]>:
Norwegian wedding traditions aren't really that different form
everywhere else in the western world. They are usually quite formal
protestant weddings, followed by a large dinner with family and
friends. Sorry to disappoint you, but there is nothing exotic like
sacrificing animals involved. However a marriage is traditionally
supposed to reflect the social status of the family. I guess that
explains why people often have weddings they cannot really afford.
1) Yes, you can get married in Folkemuseet. But make sure to book well
in advance. It is - understandably - very popular. Especially in the
summer. If a stave church is what your friend wants, there are others.
The stavechurch in Holmenkollen might even be nicer - from outside the
chapel you will have a wonderful view of Oslo and the Oslofjord. (I
have been to four weddings there the last few years.)
2) I am not sure I know what you mean by 'moderately formal'. Usually
people wear tuxedos (dinner jacket) or white tie in Norwegian weddings,
even if they take place quite early in the day. But I don't think
anyone would take offense as long as you dressed up some way or other.
There may be dress-requirements in Folkemuseet, but I doubt it.
3) Everything in Norway is expensive. But I don't think that
Folkemuseet charges much more than ordinary places for the ceremony
itself. I don't really know if you have to pay for wedding-ceremonies
at all.
The cost your friend probably should worry about, is the reception -
which traditionally includes a full dinner and a grand scale party. But
if he keeps it in Norway he probably won't get that many guests.
Anyway, tradition in Norway is that the bride's parents pay for the
wedding. Giving you a general idea of prices is difficult as I don't
know what you want.
Some people are choosing more simple receptions after the wedding
nowadays - but in Norway that is a breach of tradition. The old
fashioned Norwegian wedding lasts for three days - but that is rare
now.
I have no idea of the red tape involved or what photographers charge.
Not many people engage formally any more. I suppose plain gold rings
are usual for weddings. At least that is the sort of ring I keep
looking for when I first meet women.
Yes, there are customs as to who you should invite. You are supposed
to invite your family including uncles, aunts, usually cousins and your
best friends to the reception (dinner). In your friends case it would
probably be correct to invite all relatives in Norway that her family
has kept in touch with over the years.
People you have been close to should be invited. And you must give it
some thought. People get terribly offended if they feel they should
have been invited but aren't. At the wedding-ceremony in the chapel
people usually just turn up if they feel like it. Sometimes people
find it will be too expensive inviting a bunch of friends for dinner,
instead friends are invited to join the party after the dinner - at say
11 pm - when the drinks are served and the party starts.
Yes, a honeymoon is almost a must.
Women used to take their husbands name. Now they tend to keep their
own: sometimes without taking the husbands name, sometimes they add it
to their own as a middle name. Basically your are free to do whatever
you like.
IMPORTANT: Speeches are a very important in Norwegian weddings.
Usually there are about ten speeches at the dinner. Which explains why
the average wedding dinner takes approximately 5 hours. There are lots
of formal rules you must follow about who, when and what. The
arrangement of speeches is usually left to a toast-master, who in your
friends case probably would be an uncle or a close friend of the family
(who knows the rules!).
Norwegians usually know in advance when they are required to speak -
but if they don't they must be warned a few weeks in advance. Some are
supposed to tell sob-stories, but the best part is when the bridegrooms
best man reveals the juicy parts of the bridegrooms growing up and
bachelorhood. He is allowed to go quite far, as long as he is doing it
humorously. If you want a real Norwegian wedding - a lot of attention
must be paid to the speeches.
I won't be posting this as you may be getting many similar replies -
but I think it is a good idea if you could post some of the stuff you
are getting, or summarize it. All sorts of funny traditions might come
to light, and I am sure it could make a good topic for debate.
By the way - I will be going out to Folkemuseet tomorrow anyway. If I
see anyone who might know something, I'll ask about prices etc.
Good luck to your friend and his Norwegian girl-friend. Let us know
what they decide.
Ola-Kristian Hoff
[email protected]
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From: [email protected] (Esa Holmberg)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.nordic
Subject: Norwegian seddings
Date: 6 Aug 90 07:48:43 GMT
Organization: University of Turku, Finland
[email protected] (Dave Walden) writes:
>"giftering". Unlike in Germany where the ring is worn on the left ring
>finger while enganged and then moved to the right, it is always worn on
>the right hand in Scandinavia (unlike in the US where wedding bands are
>worn on the left).
In this case, Finland seems to be outside Scandinavia..
Here the engagement rings are usually plain gold and always worn on
left ring finger. After wedding, the wife has two rings on left ring
finger, while the poor husband uses only the engagement ring, still on
left ring finger.
Nowadays people tend to just move together and skip the wedding. Oh
well..
--
E. K. Holmberg,
[email protected] (preferred)
and "holmberg_esa_tt"%[email protected]
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