Conference trucks::football;1

Any excuse for a beer or 3.

I'm spitting distance from MikeF

Al

    
    Dave
    
    	I see. So this is where my money is going. Well I hope they make
    you drink McEwans Lager.
    
    Malc.
    

    I'm afraid I can only be there in spirit too (no pun intended).
    
    Now if you guys fancied doing a bit of wine-tasting out here in
    Lombardy...
    
    
    Dom

    
    	Same goes for me Dave. Anyway, who'd wanna drink with a miserable
    chap like you? 8-)
    
    JBG, Bern
    
    Ps Jerry said he'd love to but he's busy with his new girlfriend (looks
    like Oonah got the push Peter 8-)

I'm game (ooer missus).

Mind you, I don't think my shorts look half as silly as you in a Manc shirt
three days after they'd thrown away the league. 8-)

Mike

Good grief - last time we decided to do this, at least we had the decency to 
play a few games of 5-a-side first. I don't know, youth of today etc etc.

And of course I'd still complain if I was still in DP (also within spitting
range of MF's shorts.

g

re .0

Gym?  Wassat then?

Aye, I'm game for a bevvy or two.


err....about that Shed 7 tape, Dave....ummmm...., will "explain" via e-mail. 

    Well, at the moment I make that 4 people who fancy a beer.  Let's try
    and make it this Friday eh ?  A bloke in funny shorts, a Welshman, a
    depressed Manc and whatever Al is.  It's gonna be fun !

    Malc,
    
    yep - for the agreed amount, and signed !  How on earth did you know my
    middle name ?
    
    Dave

    
    > How on earth did you know my middle name ?
    
    	Just a wild stab in the dark, something you often get round my way.
    No, only kidding, it's quite upmarket really, despite me living there.
    
    	The fun will start when you try and cash it. My Aberdonian bank
    manager is threatening me with doom and gloom unless the usual flow of
    money is reversed. Quite honestly I thought banks were there to dish
    out cash to impoverished types like me. The fact that you are supposed
    to give them the dosh first is just a technicality as far as I can see.
    
    Malc.
    

Where? What time? Are dayglo yellow football strips allowed?

    
    I might come along for the pleasure of meeting the magnificent Dave
    Edwards, hopefully sporting a Ryan Giggs-style haircut. And to find out
    what it is that Matt George actually does when he's at 'work'!
    
    :-)
    
    Ian.

    Ian,
    
    The more the merrier - I was hoping to set something up for this Friday
    lunchtime if that's ok.  "Magnificent" eh ?  Hmmm - you been talking to
    my wife ?
    
    Dave

    Dave,
    
    Post the time and the place & I may pop along, if only to see that Matt
    does actually exist and isn't the figment of someones hyperactive
    imagination 8^).
                
    Stuart

    
    > Friday lunchtime 
    
    You're on. Means I have to fly up the A33 a bit quick but i'll give it
    a go!
    
    Would it not be better after work?
    
    Ian.

    
    Working this out, if I fly like a b*****d I might just get 10 mins in
    the pub! If I didnt have something important to do in the afternoon I
    could have stretched it a bit but....
    
    Ian. 

go ooonnn....Don't be a girlie.  

    
    Circumstances mean that I must be present by 1pm on Friday here, at my
    desk. We havent all got pushover bosses like you Matt!
    
    Ian.

    
    > fly like a b*****d
    
    Does this mean "fly like a biirrrd" ?
    
    Or "fly like a bustard" ? That's a kind of bird, although I believe it's
    related to the turkey family which means it probably doesn't fly
    particularly well ...
    
    Bill Oddie.
    

    
    
    > fly like a b*****d
    
    It could also be a Buzzard.
    
    It's a kind of black and white bus thats small.
    
    David Bellamy
    

    Ian,
    
    Deperate as we all are to spend some quality time with you, would you
    like to suggest a more convenient day.
    
    Dave

    Dave,
    
    er, dunno. Lunchtimes are a bit difficult, but 2 hour lunch breaks are
    possible every third day. Today being such a day, Monday being another.
    Life is SO complicated, n'est-ce pas?
    
    Please dont change your plans on my account. I can just sit here on my
    own, a sad hunched figure. As usual.
    
    :-)
    
    Ian.
    
    
        

   <<< Note 479.23 by COMICS::HAWLEYI "The MANCS trophy cabinet is empty!" >>>
                              -< sad and hunched >-

>    er, dunno. Lunchtimes are a bit difficult, but 2 hour lunch breaks are
>    possible every third day. Today being such a day, Monday being another.
                                                       ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

   
     I'm going to have a lot longer than two hours on Monday.

     A Rebel    
    
        

    Are you lot allowed to go back after lunch smelling of drink.surely it
    would be better arranging it for a weekend and some of us mad Jocks
    might turn up.
    
    Ferry Jambo
    

>>>Are you lot allowed to go back after lunch smelling of drink

Our bosses are too p**sed to notice...

I can't make friday lunchtime.

Howzabout Tuesday (to celebrate Reading's Promotion!!!! ;-)

Al

    
    Stuart,
    
    Your note: 09:57 this morning...
    
    Read it at: 10:02
    
    Worked it out at: 17:23
    
    What a sad bloke I am.
    
    Ian.
    

    >Howzabout Tuesday (to celebrate Reading's Promotion!!!! ;-)
    
    Al,
    
    No problem for me - has anybody else got a problem with Tuesday ?
    
    Dave

No problem for me, out of work by then, can make 11 a.m. to 11 p.m.

    
    lunchtime or after work?
    
    Ian.

I can't make Tuesday, because I've got the day off. Don't let that stop you
though. 8-)

Mike

    whereabouts then? Shall I just turn up at DEC park and say
    "take me to Dave Edwards"?
    
    Ian.

    If you're definitely coming Ian, then perhaps we could meet at a boozer
    that is slightly more convenient for you ... Jekyl & Hyde ?

    
    Jekyl & Hyde it is...
    
    I'll be wearing a pink carnation.
    
    As usual...
    
    Ian.

           <<< Note 479.37 by COMICS::HAWLEYI "Free Stuart Panes!" >>>
                        -< short, thin, young-looking >-

    
I'm not that short.

Stuart 

    I presume the Jekyl & Hyde will be ok for everybody else ?  Matt - is
    that ok for you ?  I don't want to be alone with Ian !

WTF's the Jeckyll and Hyde?

    
    A33 between Basingstoke and Reading.

Jueeeeezuss.  That's bleedin miles away...  How far from DECpark?

    
    Too far to walk! Can't you lot car-share?
    
    Ian.

Hey!  I can take my motor (my autoc**nger should be fixed by then), and they 
can delight in the wonders of "PHUQ"...

oops, wrong conf.

re .38

You coming then?  I'll buy you a drink in honour of I.S....


shit, wrong conf again....

    Matt,
    
    It's about 5-10 mins down the A33.  Can't you fix it so you're
    "working" in DEC Park on Tuesday ?
    
    

No, I've got a load of stuff to do for an all-day meeting on Wednesday...It's 
starting to sound a bit unfeasible for me...if it takes me 20/25 minutes each 
way to get to and fro this pub, I won't have much time there...

Natch, I'll sort summat out...

    I only suggested the J&H to save Ian some time.  
    
    Ian,
    
    Is it a pain for you to come to Reading for a beer ?

Don't worry, if the J&H is easier for Ian, then I'll try and make it.

    
    J&H is ideal, as its only 10 mins away. Reading would have to be a flying
    visit. 
    
    Matt has met me, he can tell you that its not worth all the worry.
    
    Ian.

ah, bless him.

    
    If in doubt, go for the sympathy vote...
    
    Ian.

    
    Matt,
    
    you can jump in with me on Tuesday if you like.  JH = 15 mins from
    Winnersh.  I know some short cuts as well, drive by there every day.
    
    Loz.

Nice one.  Cheers, Loz.

m.

Well?  Apart from Loz crying out 8-), is it still on...?

    Yep - as far as I'm concerned.  I'll be there from about 12:15 onwards.

d'you want a lift down there?  Voiture avec PHUQ?

    
    I'll be there. I think i'll probably manage to spot Matt. If not, ill
    just head for the rowdiest people in the place.
    You'll know its me by the fact that i look about 16 years old.
    
    :-)
    
    Ian.

I'll be the largeish/fat one with the grimace and the unfeasibly horrendous 
tie.

    
    Matt,
    
    I seem to remember you being a slim chap!
    
    Am I deluded?
    
    Ian.

    
    Weeeeell, I have to report that the first meeting of the football notes
    conference brethren was a resounding success and we are all much better
    people now. :-)
    
    Ian.

    
    Wow, does Matt have that much of an effect on people??
    
    JBG

    Well, I have to say that Matts bark is worse than his bite (cheers for
    the lift BTW)
    
    I'm sorry to say that having previously been indifferent to Farnborough
    Town, I now hate them with a passion. Indeed, they have replaced Moan U
    & Totteringham at the top of my hate list 8^)
    
    Stuart 

    
    What shocked me is that they all looked sane!
    
    Well, almost...
    
    Ian.

Oi!  Ian!  Just cos a bloke's trying to get ready for next year's University 
rugby season, doesn't mean he's a bloater!  (well....in my case, I can see how 
it could be construed that way).  Also, I was *never* slim!  I've always been 
"big boned".

What the hell was all that Farnborough crap about anyway?  Isn't that where 
Noel Edmonds does his annual helicopter thing from?


Minutes from the "Drinkies" AGM
-------------------------------

3 Reading chaps arrive at J&H.  Meet 2 Boringstoke chaps.  drink pint.  Take 
the piss out of Man United, discuss how easy/dull Matt's job is, then launch 
into long, drawn out "discussion" about Farnborough bloody Town.  Matt 
uncharacteristically starts taking the mickey out of the Mancs, and plumps for 
a soft southern drink for his second tipple (driving, you see...).  More piss 
taking of Mancs insues, followed by heavy sighs from around the table as 
conversation eerily drifts back to Farnborough Town.  Brief planning of the 
"Don Howe for Arsenal Manager" campaign, followed once again by Dave and 
Stuart's character assasination of unsuspecting Farnborough Town fan.  Matt 
takes piss out of Farnborough's kit, before conversation drifts inevitably onto 
non-league, and Swansea's errr...meteoric rise and demise from 4th to 1st to 
4th again.  2 more of the (depressed) Reading posse arrive, and discussion 
turns to "well, there's always next season, eh?".  
Matt leaves before Farnborough fan has to call the Samaritans for guidance.

    
    > Mine's a coke 8^)
    
    ey! I told ya. I just had a bad night last night! :-)
    
    Ian.

    Matt,
    
    You didnt mention me once!
    
    Ian.

Unfortunately, being one of the 2 (depressed) Reading posse, I missed the brunt
of the Farnborough stuff but I suppose There's always next year as I've heard
quite a few times today!!!

Al

re .68

Ah yes.  Ian and his perpetual gabbling and dislike of (err...who was it 
again?).  Mind you, I think most of us gabbled away rather a lot.  A lot of 
irrelevant pub-patter (a speciality of mine....Mr. Irrelevance) was exchanged.

re .69

Well, consider it this way;  at least Reading have some time to improve/move 
their ground, and buy some more players in for next year...

8-)

    Well, I thought you were all a bunch of b@st@rds and I never want to
    see any of you again !

    re -1
    
    Ooh Dave,
    
    You're showing a sensitive side that was sadly lacking at dinnertime. I
    should think that the poor Farnborough supporter has a tremendous
    persecution complex thanks to you (& me, Ian, Matt....)
    
    Stuart

    Stuart,
    
    I've just been reliably informed that DON HOWE has been appointed
    Arsenal manager.   I presume you're now "over the moon" eh ?
    
    Dave

Frankly, I saw another side of Dave.  One that shocked me.  I could see fire in 
his eyes as he erupted into a tirade of abuse about lowly Farnborough Town.  
Scared me into silence, he did.  Is that what alcohol does to you, Dave?

Matt$tee-total_from_now_on...;-)




I hope everyone else is Next Unseen-ing past this, cos it'll just confuse/bore 
them.

    Matt,
    
    These Farnborough glory-seekers really piss me off.  First hint of
    success and they're all there - wearing the poxy away-strip, claiming
    that they've been following the club for years etc etc.  He got what he
    deserved !
    
    Dave  

    
    	I am totally confused as to who this Farnborough Town supporter is.
    Was he one of your own group, i.e. a noter ? Or did you all rush in to
    the pub and start picking on this poor unfortunate for no other reason
    than that he obviously did not support Manchester United and was
    therefore able to divert the flak from Dave Edwards ?
    
    Malc.
    

    Malc,
    
    I feel that the Farnborough supporter got picked on simply because he
    supported his local team. Of course, it has nothing to do with the fact
    that he could bring a "Farnborough Fact" into any conversational piece.
    
    Dave did mention something about not liking Farnborough because they
    had supporters that actually came from their town rather unlike a
    northern side who's name escapes me for the moment....
    
    Stuart

    and Stuart (from Guildford, Surrey) supports .... ?

    and Ian (from Barnsley) supports .... ?

    
    Stuart> Think youve touched a nerve there!
    
    Malc>   We were all being perfectly polite about Farnborough till
    	    'Razor' Edwards started on the poor bloke!
            
    
    Ian.
    
    

    Ian,
    
    At least I look old enough to get served in a pub !  No wonder you're
    used to drinking pints of coca-cola.
    
    Anyway, Stuart started on him first !
    
    

re .80

...and Matt from Swansea supports...err.....ah.  Flaw in the pattern here....

Ta for the pint, btw.  We'll have to organise "Drinkies 2", so I can repay 
(directly after a pay-day please....)

    Oi, you're a bit a touchy aren't you Mr Edwards 8^)
    
    Did I really start on him first? Nah, it would be so out of character.
    
    Stuart$Guildford_isn't_that_far_from_Arsenal
    

    Dave,
    
    Its all an illusion, I had my haircut and shaved my beard off
    especially for the occasion!
    
    Ian.

    Ok, ok, perhaps I am a tad touchy, and yes I did tell him to "Shut the
    f*ck up about bloody Farnboro'", but I'm sure you had a pop at him
    first.  
    
    Matt,
    
    Drinkies 2 sounds good - tell us when you get paid, and we'll organise
    it around that !  But hey, let's keep it a bit quiet eh ?  I couldn't
    stand a 2nd session of "101 totally uninteresting things about
    Farnboro'".              
    
    Dave$nice_guy_really

    If you're still reading this, BURGESSD, we are only joking about
    Farnboro' - honest !!!

    Dave,
    
    I don't think that he will be around for "Drinkies 2 - The revenge
    visit". Wasn't his contract up? Anyway, Farnborough will probably have
    a friendly that day.
    
    Interestingly, he only missed 2 games last season, Runcorn & Gateshead
    (both away). 
    
    Stuart

    
    Dave Burgess hung up his Dec badge on Friday.
    
    
     But it did coincide with Farnboro's  signing of Trevor Senior.
    
    

    Stuart,
    
    Aah yes - you're right.  Phew, now if only we could get rid of the
    Swansea supporter, we might start to have a good time .......
    
    Dave
    
     

careful....

    Now that Matt has finally got some money, I suppose we should strike
    while the iron is hot and arrange Drinkies II.  Anybody interested ?
    
    Mike Fowler - any chance of an appearance in those dishy Villa shorts ?
    

>Mike Fowler - any chance of an appearance in those dishy Villa shorts ?

It depends on whether you'll be able to control yourself at the sight of them. I
wouldn't want to cause a scene in the pub. 8-)

Mike

    Dave,
    
    I'll be there if you can promise me that there will be no Farnborough
    Town supporters....
    
    Stuart

Any chance of hitting a different pub this time?  I mean, I know it depends on 
any Boringstoke visitors an' all, but somewhere like the Culpepper, or even 
DECpark3 (the Old Bell) might be a bit nicer.....Any (polite) suggestions?

    Matt,
    
    Either of those are fine by me.
    
    Stuart

Anywhere will do

Al

    
    Anywhere north of the J&H is out for me i'm afraid, but then again, i'm
    skint anyway...
    
    Ian.

100!  Wahay!

    The Culpepper it is then !  Sorry Ian, but after your vicious attack on
    farnboro-man last time, I can't say I'm sorry you won't be attending !
    
    Howsabout this Friday ?  

umm...I'm away on Friday....Monday?

    Ok by me !

I can't do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday next week. But I'll send a
sample of my massive collection of low quality shorts if you want. If I miss
this one as well, make sure you sort out one more before I leave.

Mike

    What about next Friday then ? 

That's fine with me.

Mike

Sounds good to me.

    
    Well, I hope the beer is off!
    
    Huh!
    
    Ian.

re .110

Ian, I thought you said before that you could take a couple of long lunches now 
and again...Why not make one next Friday?

    Matt,
    
    'cos he a wimp.
    
    hth
    
    Stuart

    
    lalalalalalala
    
    notlisteningnotlisteningnotlistening
    
    lalalalalalala
    

    Sorry, chaps but I can't make Friday as something else has cropped up. 

    Perhaps you might want to reconsider your reply in .112 !
    
    What can possibly be more important than a lunchtime supping ale and
    indulging in some good footie banter ?

    >What can possibly be more important than a lunchtime supping ale and
    >indulging in some good footie banter ?
    
    If I knew where I could get some then I would attend;^)
    
    Stuart

Any day this week (apart from today) is Okay by me, I think...

Any advance?

    I can't do today, Wednesday or Friday.
    
    Stuart

Tuesday it is then....

    I thought Mike Fowler couldn't make it on Tuesday - but, then again, do
    we really care ?!

I can't make Tuesday

Al

Ju-eeezuss.

Well, I can't make Thursday....ummm....

Next week?  It'd have to be on/after the 6th though....umm....in fact, 
preferably Thurs the 6th?

    Bloody hell, this is getting harder to arrange than the football
    fixtures for the forthcoming season!
    
    Thursday the 6th it is then.
    
    Stuart

    Ok by me 

Well there's 3 of us, anyway.  Now all we have to do is kill Ian(Hawley)'s 
boss, and persuade the other Readingonians to get their lardy arses out of the 
office for an hour or two next week.....

Another Lardy arse has been persuaded :-) (Only 2 hours!!!)

    >(Only 2 hours!!!)
    
    Wuss!

What I meant was 

	(Only 2 hours???)

    Has a venue been decided upon yet ? I'm aiming to get along and then
    Notts County can be the sacrificial lamb instead of Farnboro' ;-)
    
    Rob
                                         
    

    Rob,
    
    >Has a venue been decided upon yet ? I'm aiming to get along and then
    >Notts County can be the sacrificial lamb instead of Farnboro' ;-)
    
    I think it's the Culpepper thingy in Lower Earley.  If you're in DEC
    Park, then I'm sure either myself or Boring, Boring Stuart will give
    you a lift.
    
    Dave

    Re -1
    
    Rob, 
    
    You would be hard pushed to be that sad...
    
    Stuart
    

    >>       -< Remember to bring your "101 things I hate about ManU" >-
    
    Dave,
    
    I'll just nip round and see the San Selhurst boys for a tutorial before
    next Thursday !
    
    Stuart,
    
    You wanna bet ? Shall I bring along my collection of Rothmans Football
    Yearbooks, Subbuteo teams, NCFC lapel badges, Nottingham Evening Post
    cuttings, Crystal Palace mouse mat (oops, sorry Paul, I don't know how
    that slipped out),.....
    
    Rob

    >  Remember to bring your "101 things I hate about ManU" 
    
    Dave,
    
    I didn't realise that we allowed people to start with such a low
    figure...
    
    Stuart

    
    > -< Has Barnsley Bill (I mean Ian) been persuaded yet >-
    
    :-)
    
    I'm going to be off in Scotland I think.
    But then again, the chance to meet the legendary 'pies fan is almost
    enough to get me cancelling my hols!
    
    Bill.
    

    Mr Edwards & I have decided that we are flash ******** and are going to
    hire a taxi to take us there and back on Thursday. Anybody in DEC Park
    who wants to share should contact either of us to arrange it.
    
    Stuart

>>>>hire a taxi to take us there and back on Thursday. 

err.....Why?

    err...so we're not limited to 2 pints.
    
    Dave$bleedin_obvious_really

    >>>>>hire a taxi to take us there and back on Thursday.
    
    >>err.....Why?
    
    Matt,
    
    That qualifies as the stupidiest question I've been asked today.
    
    Stuart$not_having_any_soft_drinks

You're getting taxis home from work too then?

    Nope - I'm getting a lift.

    Stuart,
    
    Ever get the impression that your mother works for this company and
    notes under the name Matt George ?
    
    Dave

Wankers!

Ao who's up for Drinkies II tomorrow?

It's not just going to be me, Stuart and Dave, is it? (gulp).
There've been a few CHEFS:: noters in here recently....anyone coming along?

    Unfortunately, I can't make it. Other plans you know. Hopefully I'll be
    able to make the next one though.
    
    Have a pint/4(delete as applicable) for me !!
    
    
    Ian.

    I'll be there. In fact I'm just off to see Mr. Panes to polish up on my
    Man Utd vitriol.
    
    Rob
    
    P.S. I'll share the cab Dave & Stuart if that's OK - at least on the
    way there ;-) Where do either of you sit?
    

Dave luvs Rob

tra la la....


Dave luvs Rob

tra la la...



Oh, and that bloody Monopoly machine was too difficult, so we haven't made any 
dosh.

    >Dave luvs Rob
    
    Hey, I'll admit found him attractive, but "love", let's just see eh !
    

           <<< Note 479.150 by CHEFS::GEORGEM "lived eht pihsroW" >>>

>Dave luvs Rob

>tra la la....


I don't mind what consenting adults get up to, but I suspect that your
note probably deserves further explanation.


Stuart

    Matt,
    
    I think a more apt note would be :
    
    "[Almost] Everyone hates Stuart (P)"
    
    Dave and I discovered that we happened to be in Bradford at the same
    time some [many] years ago.
    
    By the way, I echo Mr. Panes' comment about Welshmen !
    
    Rob

Stuart,


>>>Dave

Manchester United supporting, shaven headed (sortof), be-stubbled, 
glasses-wearing Northern git.

>>>luvs

"Fancies"

>>>Rob

Endsleigh league expert, ex-footballing taci-sharing YUPPY:: resident.



hth,
m.

re .153

Aye, typical bloody Englishman.  He says it now we're not in the same room!
Chicken!

    <<< Note 479.153 by YUPPY::ANDERSONR "Thompson & Murphy Dream Ticket" >>>
                     -< Valley Parade is not what it was >-

    
>    "[Almost] Everyone hates Stuart (P)"
    

      All I have to do is sort out the "almost" and then I can die
      a happy man.

      Stuart

>>> and then I can die a happy man.

...and a fairly young one at that...

    Stuart (P)
    
    I admire your sweet & succinct message that you asked Rob to pass to
    Matt. However, I think that it would have more impact if delivered
    personally so make a note that Matt reaches the age of 21 next month
    and there should be a drinkies III to celebrate.
    
    Stuart
    
    ps Rob & Dave "bonded" at dinnertime and it was *very* slushy...
    

    re .154
    
    >Endsleigh league expert, ex-footballing taci-sharing YUPPY:: resident.
    					     ^^^^
    
    Oh dear,
    
    One too many pints of coke (no ice, just lemon) for you, Matt?
    
    Stuart
    
    ps The monopoly machine wasn't that hard....
    

re taci-sharing

Fat-finger syndrome...sorry.


re Monopoly machine

I got 2 out of 3 on the pink streets...

    Matt,
    
    I sat in the front on the way back !!!
    
    Rob

Stuart was just trying to separate you!

    re -1
    
    Didn't have to - I left it to the taxi driver!
    
    Stuart

hmmm....

a)  I think the beer's affected your note-number reading skills...

b)  So I got scared....!

BASTARD!  He's deleted it!

    re .164
    
    
    
    Matt,
    
    You altered your original note, which was BTW funnier...
    
    Stuart
     End of note

    re .168
    
    I believe that you have made that comment before. A stunning show of
    unoriginality.
    
    Stuart

         <<< Note 479.158 by CHEFS::STRATFORDS "Custers Last Strand" >>>

>    Stuart (P)
    
>    I admire your sweet & succinct message that you asked Rob to pass to
>    Matt. However, I think that it would have more impact if delivered
>    personally so make a note that Matt reaches the age of 21 next month
>    and there should be a drinkies III to celebrate.
    
     Stuart,

     That makes Matt either a Leo or a Virgo - not that us Leos believe
     in all that tosh.
    
     Stuart
     

    Stuart,
    
    >That makes Matt either a Leo or a Virgo
    
    Erm, thats not what Rob said you called him...
    
    Stuart

    Paneso/Panesy/Paneschelskis
    
    I think I speak on behalf of everybody present at Drinkies II when I
    say how eager we all are to meet you and express our feelings toward
    you.
    
    Let's make it soon eh !
    
    Dave

re .172

Dave,

Its tempting, but I am having problems blagging a trip to Reading.
If anything crops up, I will of course, let you know. It looks as if
my P.R. man ( Ando ) has done a great job.



Stuart ( [almost] hated by everyone )

    BTW - I believe Palace do a nice range of mouse mats.  Can the Palace
    faithful (also known as "Sad B@sta@rds") please confirm this ?

    re -1
    
    I believe they come in pairs....
    
    Stuart

This an official open invitation to the Football conference brethren.  Drinkies 
3 will be taking place within the next month, and it is hoped that it will 
coincide with certain noters' departure from this fair corporation, and other 
certain noters "coming of age" (watch it!).

All are asked to attend, even if it's just for a girly half of "follow the 
bear" Hoffmeister or somesuch equally squalid beverage/comestible.  Many noters 
have not yet met, and perhaps it would be a good opportunity to meet on 
err...neutral territory (Reading) and discuss things in a kindof lighthearted, 
beer-soaked way.

Drinkies 1&2 were both moderate successes, in that they involved ingestion of 
alcohol, and exhalation of bullshit.  Drinkies 3 will be no different.

So, for those willing to attend such a daytime bash, step forward, and declare 
your proposed dates of availability.  Don't be shy now...

I'm on for this one, and I promise not to get hideously ill again at the thought
of meeting you lot. 8-)

Mike

Instead of the limiting factors of a lunchtime bevvie, howsabout an evening get
together.

I would recommend Sweeney's in Reading town centre, and we could soak up some of
the beer with one of their excellent pies.

This way certain Basingstoke noters can also make it.

Al

    >This way certain Basingstoke noters can also make it.
    
    A damn good reason to keep it to a lunchtime. 
    

    
    well, thank you very much James Whale! :-)
    
    Ian.

    Dave,
    
    It would however be interesting to see if a certain Mr Hawley could get
    served anything other than a coke in a pub. 
    
    But then again it might not be.
    
    Stuart

    >It would however be interesting to see if a certain Mr Hawley 
    
    Can the words "interesting" and "Hawley" be used in the same sentence ?
    I think not !

Ah, bless him...

    Matt,
    
    How did you get on with that (supposedly) nice young lady then?
    
    Stuart

See EF for details.  Lovely lass, I'm sure...

    
    >  Can the words "interesting" and "Hawley" be used in the same sentence ?
    >  I think not !
    
    Just because I refused to enter the mindless Farnborough-baiting that
    you and the stratford-lad struck up!
    
    Ian.

Oh dear.  What's started here, then?

    Matt
    
    I think that young Lancastrian Dave Edwards is trying start the War of
    the Roses with the Barnsley boy...
    
    Stuart

    Settle down lads - this is merely some pre-season banter between a
    dedicated loyal Utd fan and a Red Sh*te armchair supporter.  I'm sure
    Ian realises I'm only jesting when I suggest that he's a tad dull.  Far
    from it, he's full of that lovely scouse whit (rhyming slang ?) that we
    all adore and I, for one, am not embarassed to be seen in public with
    him.

    Dave, 
    
    You little liar! You said that you were ashamed to be seen with a "man"
    drinking a pint of coke, with Ice & Lemon.
    
    Stuart

I bumped into Rob "The Gob " Anderson last night...my my... that man has
an extensive vocabulary of "industrial" language and some pretty forthright
views.

Stuart

    Stratty,
    
    >You little liar! You said that you were ashamed to be seen with a
    >"man" drinking a pint of coke, with Ice & Lemon.
    
    Actually, I was perfectly happy with the boys' choice of drink until he
    asked me to get him some cocktail cherries and one of those "pretty
    umbrellas".  
    
    Dave

w/e August 18th it is, then.

Names on the list, please;


Yes, I will attend				No, I'm a poof
===========================================================================
Matt
Stuart
Dave

Yes, I will attend				No, I'm a poof
===========================================================================
Matt
Stuart
Dave
Al

Yes, I will attend				No, I'm a poof
===========================================================================
Matt						John Hussey
Stuart
Dave
Al

Yes, I will attend	I'm a complete poof	No, I'm a poof
			but I'll come anyway*
===========================================================================
Matt			Mike			John Hussey
Stuart
Dave
Al








* Only joking lads. Honest.

    Where's it being held this time???
    
    	Rick./

    Yes I will attend  	I'm a complete poof 	No, I'm a poof
    			but I'll come anyway
    
    Matt		Mike			John Hussey
    Stuart
    Dave
    Al
    Loz*
    
    * Meetings permitting though it looks good so far.

    Yes I will attend  	I'm a complete poof 	No, I'm a poof
    			but I'll come anyway
    
    Matt		Mike			John Hussey
    Stuart
    Dave
    Al
    Loz*
    p1
    
    * Meetings permitting though it looks good so far.

    re:.198
    
    Rick,
    
    I think the idea this time is to go drinking AFTER work to give people
    like Ian "Make mine a coke" Hawley a chance to attend.  I presume we'll
    start in the Reading area but who knows where we'll end up ....
    
    As to the date, I think the week commencing 14th August was suggested
    ie week leading up to the start of the footie season - unless you're a
    Palace fan of course, by which time their magnificent ENDSLEIGH LEAGUE
    campaign will already be underway.
    
    Dave

    Well if its in Reading... & I can get there.. I'll say yes...
    
    Then I can convert you all into supporting a reall football team like
    Leeds United!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
    
    	Cheers,
    
    		We're Leeds and we're proud of it.

    
    Re: .201
    
    -<Do we need an extra column for sheep?->
    
    Why, is Matt bringing along a girlfriend?
    
    

    
    > Why, is Matt bringing along a girlfriend?
    
    I guess the reason that matt hasn't replied is because he's gone
    looking for you!
    
    Ian.

    As we are nearing the time of the next footie conf drinkies, would
    those who are intending to go, please enter any dates within the week
    August 14-18 when they would prefer to meet.
    
    Stuart

    18th sounds good.. if we are going out in Reading... :->
    
    	Rick.

Is it an evening thing or a lunchtime job?

I can't make the evening of the 16th.

Mike

    Mike,
    
    Widely accepted that it will be an evening drinkies...
    
    Stuart

    In the last few minutes, Stretch has announced that he will be
    attending the next drinkies. He has stated that he wants to go on
    the evening of the 18th so the 18th it is.
    
    Stuart
    
    BTW, Messrs Stretch & Rutherford look like "Lager Louts" according to
    my line manager...

    Stuart,
    
    	Is that due to the beery fumes that we breathed over you, or is
    it a totally impartial view !!!
    
    
    P.S. Your line Managers right !!!
    
    
    Ian.

     Stuart,
    
     Indeedy dee - Jonathan King, Department S 
    
    
                  Stretch.
    
    P.S What colours will cause more offence - Reading or TGFTITW ?????
    

    Stretch,
    
    >What colours will cause more offence - Reading or TGFTITW ?????
    						       ^^^^^^^
    
    Surely they are covered by all colours under the rainbow?!!!
    
    Stuart
    
    PS  Dave E, Perhaps you could tell us when TGFTITU will be bringing out
    	their new interpretation of the all-white strip worn during the
    	71/2 season. After all, its one of the few combinations that they
    	haven't worn in the last couple of years...
    
     

    re .212
    
    Shouldn't that be Jason King !!!
    
    Indeedy Dee, it should !!!
    
    
    Ian$ten_guv_a_day_man_from_the_Sweeney

    Yes, I believe Johnathan King performed the wonderful holiday tune "Una
    Paloma Blanca" along with "Everyones gone to the Moon" Not quite
    Department S stuff, is it !!!
    
    
    Ian$I_don't_think_so

    
    Don't you CHEFS:: lot actually do any work?!?!
    
    :-)
    
    Ian$not_a_mystery_chef

    Ian_not_the_Rutherford_variety.
    
    In a word........Sometimes
    
    
    			Stretch_just_back_after_a_bit_of_work.

    re. last
    
    Fibber !!
    
    Just back after a quick fag, more like !!!
    
    
    Ian$tattle_tale

    So the list for the 18th (based on the preceding mails) is as follows:
    
    Yes I will attend   I'm a complete poof     No, I'm a poof
                        but I'll come anyway
    
    Matt                Mike                    John Hussey
    Stuart
    Dave
    Al
    Loz (maybe)
    p1
    Rick
    Stretch
    Ian 
    
    
    Stuart
                            

    oh yeah..couple of points to bear in mind for the 18th.
    
    According to Stuart..."Dave Edwards looks like James Whales !!! and
    Matt George looks like you would expect him to !?!?!?" 
    
    Should be interesting to put faces to names, or will that be fists to
    faces now.
    
    		Stretch_in_anticpation.

     
    Yes I will attend   I'm a complete poof     No, I'm a poof
    =================   but I'll come anyway    ==============
                        ====================
    Matt                Mike                    John Hussey
    Stuart
    Dave
    Al
    Loz (maybe)
    p1
    Rick
    Stretch
    Ian 
    
    
    Reading? Isn't that 
    the team with a long
    goalkeeper?
    ===================

    Stuart 
                         

    re.222
    
    Stretch,
    
    If you haven't met Stuart (Stratford), then look for someone
    doing a damn fine impression of a beached whale.
    
    Dave

    Dave,
    
    My claim to fame is that I have met Stretch.
    
    Stuart

    
    18th is good for me, what time and where?  Will anyone be going back to
    Basingstoke after so I can get in a skinful and show you what a real
    Chelsea supporter looks like in full flow?
    
    Loz.

    Loz,
    
    Have a word with the boy Hawley re getting back to Basingstoke. He'll
    be on Cokes all night so he may be able to give you a lift...
    
    Stuart

                      <<< Note 479.226 by CHEFS::JOLLYL >>>
                        -< I'm house trained as well. >-

    
>>    18th is good for me, what time and where?  Will anyone be going back to
>>    Basingstoke after so I can get in a skinful and show you what a real
>>    Chelsea supporter looks like in full flow?
>>    
>>    Loz.

Loz,

as I will be in London on the 18th I maybe pop over to Reading to join ya.

T_

    
    Stuart,
    
    I was considering Bitter-Shandy actually!
    
    Loz,
    
    If I go to this 'ere bash, in order to give the stratford lad a piece
    of my mind, then i'll be happy to give you a lift.
    
    Ian.
        

    Ian,
    
    >artsoide! Nar!
    
    Aren't you missing "our whack" after this or "wheres me ferret?" being
    the colloquialisms generally associated with Scouseland and Barnsley?
    
    Stuart

    
    Stuart,
    
    I have never owned a ferret.
    We lived in the posh part of Barnsley.
    We had an INSIDE toilet.
    
    hth,
    
    Ian.

    >We had an INSIDE toilet.
    
    You must have lived in the posh part of Barnsley then.... 
    
    Rick.

Rick,

Did you piece that together from the mysterious "We lived in the posh part of
Barnsley." clue?

I sit amazed at your deductive talents. 8-)

Mike

    Hmmm....
    
    	I seem to have lost my ability to read.....
    
    	Well that's what you get for coming to work down in the South....
    
    	Cheers,
    
    		Rick.

    Yes I'll attend  I'm a complete poof   No, I'm a poof  I'd really love 
    ===============  but I'll come anyway  ==============  to be there, but
                     ====================                  I'll be too busy
    Matt             Mike                  John Hussey     reading my RFY
    Stuart                                                 on my hols
    Dave                                                   ================
    Al
    Loz (maybe)                                            Rob
    p1
    Rick
    Stretch
    Ian 
    
    
    Reading? Isn't that 
    the team with a long
    goalkeeper?
    ===================

    Stuart 
    

    
    Ian,
    
    that would be awfully nice of you to drop me off if you can, I promise
    I won't be sick in your car.  Failing that I can get a train, just
    means I'd hve to leave a little earlier.  Actually I won't be able to get 
    to ratted as I have to get up and meet Ton in the morning for footy, 
    assuming he makes it back to London if he comes down for a bevy.
    
    Cheers,
    
    Loz.
                

    So whats the score then guys... where are we going in Reading & what
    time?
    
    	Cheers,
    
    		Rick

    Rick,
    
    Al Robertson suggested a while back that we meet at Sweeney & Todds in
    Castle Street so unless anybody else has any suggestions....As for the
    time, what time will people be able to get there?
    
    Stuart

    
    Stuart,
    
    what DATE is Drinkies III? 
    
    Ian$unobservant

    Sorry lads but I'm going to have to miss this one out. I've been
    summoned to see Die Hard 3 with the missus, and seeing as I forgot her
    Birthday, I need to make up for it somehow !!
    
    
    Have a few for me !!
    
    Ian_with_a_big_thumbprint_on_my_forehead
    

    Take it from me.. Die Hard 3 is utter crap.  Saw it on Video back in
    the West Indies last month and I wouldn't recommend it to my dog!
    
    William

    Ian,
     You sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,B'stard !!!!!!!!!
    
                Not_sad_Stretch.
    

    
    Count me out too, i'm off on a bender in Basingstoke on Friday night.
    Sorry Loz, looks like the train for you!
    
    Ian$not_drinking_coke_for_first_time_in_ages

    
    No worries!  It looks like I'll have to drive anyway as it happens.
    
    So I gues it's still on and we meet in Sweeney Todds about sixish
    yeah??
    
    Loz.

    I'll have to get there a tad later - my wife's gone and left me for a
    week, so I'm playing the role of "Domestic Chore Man".  One of which,
    is to feed the cat.  Anyway, Beached, don't you want to go home first 
    and change out of your smelly sweaty clothes ?

I may be a little late, I'm in Ipswich in the afternoon

Is anyone eating??

Should we book a table??

Al

    Jimbo,
    
    Yep I will be changing but I will be leaving at about 4.30 on Friday so
    I can be there by 6 if necessary. 
    
    BTW, the fact that you apologised to my assistant for your coarse language 
    earlier cut no ice. She still thinks you're a yobbo football fan.
    
    Stuart

    Beached,
    
    How can you have an assistant when you're the tea boy ?
    
    Jimbo

    Jimbo,
    
    You're just jealous.
    
    Stuart
    

6 o clock?  I'll be a bit late, then, as umm... my gran's died, and err...I'm 
pruning the dog, or something.

    Well, ok, make it 7 then. I only said 6 because Loz did.
    
    Stuart

That's a bit better.  I don't finish work until 5:30, so 6 would be impossible.

Also, chaps, I'd better say that I'll be doing a Hawley, cos I've got to get 
some speakers fitted to my chariot at 9 on Saturday morning.

    Matt,
    
    > I'll be doing a Hawley
    
    Nothing new there, eh?
    
    Stuart

PHU-Q, as teh Wildies would say!

Matt$mr_original.

Drinkies, 7ish, Sweeney & Todds, this evening.  See you there (late, though)

    Be there.. or be a Matt George....
    
    	Cheers,
    
    		Rick.

Will you be there then?

Matt$tooled_up

    Yep... I sure will.... there has to be someone there to stand upto the
    ManU supporters... :->>>
    
    	Cheers,
    
    		Rick.

Good.  I'll get my physical revenge for .258 then...

What happened?

    Bloody good question Matt. Mind you, you just can't trust these Leeds
    types !!!!!!!!
    
    		
    Stretch_who_was_there_and_had_the_hangover_on_Saturday_to_prove_it_!!!
    
    
    P.S BLUE ARMY.

    Stretch,
    
    I'm glad you had a hangover - I felt like sh*t all Saturday morning.
    

    Yeah, but Dave I then had to get baked on the Tilehurst end for two
    hours on Saturday afternoon. But it was well worth it. 3-2 too Mick
    + Jims Blue and White army.
    
    		                                          
    Stretch_who_was_so_glad_you_liked_the_Reading_shirt_on_Friday.

    
    Dave
    
    	Did you discuss my proposed wager for this year as mentioned in
    Fridays telephone call ? What is the general consensus ?
    
    Malc.
    
    PS Actually I thought you were you going to post a full and frank
    no-holds-barred report. The punters say Extract the Digit Edwards !
    

    Malc,
    
    He did. I'm in.
    
    Stuart

Where did everyone go? I turned up, resplendent in grimy Villa shorts, at about
7:50 and there was no-one there.

Mike

    Mike,
    
    That'll teach you to be late. We were in The Sun next door. Any way, if
    Matt could find us, why couldn't you? Hmm? Hmm?
    
    Stuart

    What ya mean... you can't trust those Leeds supporters...
    
    	After sitting in S & T for about 30 mins... I thought blow this for
    a game of soldiers & whent home... I was in there from 7pm until
    7:30pm... 
    
    	The question is.. where were you....??
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Err, Rick,
    
    What do you look like? I pooped in S & T between that time and didn't
    see any sad little characters sat on their own.
    
    Mind you if you looked anything like the space-cadet of a Leeds fan we
    encountered later on...
    
    Stuart
    
    

I had a look in the Sun, but couldn't see anyone. I ended up sat in the cinema
on my own, like a sad case. 8-)

Mike

    >any sad little characters sat on their own.
    
    	I was the sad character wearing the "Play Real Football" top.... 
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    re -1
    
    Can't say I recall seeing you.
    
    Stuart

    Ref .274
    nor me Stuart. We did make regular forays from the Sun into Seeneys and
    I saw no football affiliation being worn by anyone except my good self.
    
    
            Stretch_who_wonders_if_you_can_trust_these_fellas_word_?????

    Hmmm, we were definitely in Sweeneys from 6:45 to at least 7:15/7:30.
    I'm sure we'd have detected that distinct smell of Sheep if you'd been
    there Rick !

    Where abouts were you sitting???
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Rick,
    
    As you walk into the bar/"restaurant" area up the stairs from the shop, 
    on your right hand side is a bigger than usual table and we were there.
    
    Stuart

    Where there three of you... one of you wearing a Reading football
    top???
    
    	Cheers,
    
    		Rick.

    Within plain sight of the bar. How can anyone miss a 6'5" Long haired
    B'Stard wearing a BRIGHT red Reading shirt??? OR Mr Stratford. Not
    exactly small is he ????
    
    
                      Stretch.

re .271

You what?

    re -1
    
    and a James Whale look-a-like...

    re -2
    
    Matt, 
    
    The bloke in the allied arms...
    
    stuart

    .279
     Distinct clanking as the Leeds braincell starts its week !!!!!
    
    Rick. Dave and Stuart made various rude comments about shirt wearing
    saddoes throughout the Friday noting so it was my stated and sworn duty
    to fly the colours
    
    
                
    The_Reading_shirt_wearer_in_Sweeneys.(on_time_Stretch!!!!!)
    
    
    P.S What happened to Loz...............
    

re .283

No, Stuart, I was referring to you "pooping" in Sweeney and Todds.

    Rick,
    
    We saw one saddo at the bar talking to the barman - he looked like a
    adult-version of Joe 90.  Was that you ?
    
    Dave

    Dave
    Was that the guy with the sports bag who looked straight at us, then
    ran away ???
    
    
    
                       Stretch.
    

    Hmmm... don't know... sure he wasn't a ManU fan??
    
    Which pubs in Reading town centre have Sky???
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    It was probably me then.. if he had a sports bag.. :->
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Well, why didn't you introduce yerself them you steaming twit!
    
    Stuart

    Stretch,
    
    What's this I hear about that tart Stratford being unable to finish off
    a little tin of lager back at your place, and that he was a bit hit
    with your dog ?
    

    Dave,
    
    Nah, the only dog I got near to was when we got asked to move in the
    pub....
    
    Stuart

    Well Dave, from what I can gather there was a huge number of empties on
    the table next to Mr Stratford. He could not work out which was his so
    chose to run away. That is the more official line........
    
    Unoficially my dog is of the white coated persuasion, and when we got
    him from the dog rescue he came with the name Teddy. We think this may
    be down to the white shirted Teddy of the Spurs variety. So whenever
    the Arse supporter tried to converse with him the only response could
    be of the "come and have a go if you think you're hard enough" type and
    of course this was what really led to Mr Stratford doing a runner !!!!
    
    		Stretch_whose_dog_scored_on_Saturday.

    Officially speaking...
    
    >whose_dog_scored_on_Saturday.
    
    It was Friday night....
    
    Stuart

    Stuart, What the bloody hell are implying you got up to with the dog,
    you pervy B'Stard !?!?!?!?!!?!?!? I mean, he may have Spurs
    connections, but that is taking things a little too far. I did wonder
    why he was being such a moody git with you when I got back from the
    kitchen.
    
    
    Stretch_who_is_on_the_phone_to_the_RSPCA_right_now.

    Stuart did confess to me that he likes his women a bit woof, whoops, I
    mean rough.
    

    Dave,
    
    Whilst I may have deleted the mail and promised not to show it to
    the person in question, I am going to pull that last note and show it
    to my girlfriend....
    
    Stuart$not_scared_of_anyone_except_her
     End of note

Curses. 

To think that if only I'd drifted in to the Sun instead of just peering
myopically through the dirty windows, I could have joined in with the drinking
and got involved with this endless stream of top notch humour and sexual
innuendo. 

My life is worth nothing. 8-)

Mike

ooooh, you cynic.  We wanted to see your shorts, too.

    Mike,
    
    We were in the "beer garden" so you could've left your mountain bike
    within eyesight as well...
    
    Stuart

Stuart,

Blimey, talk about character assassination. 

I've met you once and all I did was answer your question about where all my
money goes. I've never, ever mentioned mountain bikes in the company of those
unenlightened few who have yet to experience the joy of flying over your
handlebars and ending up in a ditch full of nettles. 8-)

How did you expect me to find you if you were hiding in some poxy little beer
garden? 

Hmmm, suddenly everything is starting to click into place. 8-)

Mike

    Mike,
    
    Me & Stretch hide? Christ, it would have to be a big beer garden for
    that to happen. As it was, it was a patio with about 7 tables on it so
    I don't think you tried very hard, did you..? Hmm?
    
    Stuart

Stuart,

I have to admit that all I did was peer briefly through the windows of the Sun.
And you weren't there. 

I did consider launching a more exhaustive search, but then realised that if I
didn't find you lads, I could spend the evening picking my nose in the local
public lavs instead of discussing the finer points of Arsenal's attacking
genius. Needless to say, with that point in mind, I immediately set course for
the nearest public convenience. 8-)

Mike

    
    Just back in the office after being out for two weeks.
    
    Sorry I missed drinkies 3.
    
    Unfortunately due to my iminent holiday I found myself slaving away here 
    until late on the Friday and was to knackered to get myself down to the
    Pub afterwards and I had to get up early next day to meet Ton and go watch
    Chelsea/Everton.
    
    Maybe next time,
    
    Loz.

    
    	The Social Club Committee decided at their last meeting (oh
    	alright, me & the manc over a cup of coffee 5 minutes ago) that it
    	was time for a brief version of Drinkies to take place.
    
    	The suggestion is a lunch time over the road, in the Post House.
    
    	Start entering the most convenient dates...
    
    	

    I'm not sure I can find my way over to the Post House.. 
    
    Any chance of a map Stu..
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Leeds (x3)

    .307
    Or rather. I am not sure I can find my way over the post house and meet
    up with the people who I am supposed to be meeting, even though I would
    need blinkers and a blanket over my head to miss them !!!!
    
    			Stretch.
    
    P.S Drinkies IV sound good to me (and Ian who is busy doing B*GGER all
    this afternoon as he is stood here helping me to frustrate and annoy
    customers with his oh so helpful comments !!!!)

    Right.
    
    A week Friday, the 20th?
    
    Stuart

    What about a strong Friday Stratto !?!?!?
    	
    
    	     Crap_pun_Stretch.
    
    Yep - I have put a mark in the diary for the 20th. Not sure wether it
    will be 12 or 1. Will confer on this nearer the time.

    If any of you guys out there need any useful hints and tips on make-up,
    speak to Stretch as I have just gone to his desk to find him trying to
    hide a copy of Marie Clare Health & Beauty magazine under his desk. I
    don't know, you Manc supporters will do anything to seem more 
    appealing to others, won't you !!
    
    	Ian$starting_a_flame_war_in_his_spare_time!!!

20th looks good to me.

And seeing as I was there hic!! this lunchtime hic!! I think I'll be able to
find my way there.

Al

    So, this Friday - wot time?
    
    I nominate Ian Rutherford as Chairman of the entertainment committee as
    he sure showed everyone how to have a good time last night in the Post
    House!
    
    Stuart
    
    

    Thanks for the peanuts Stuart !!
    
    
    Ian.

    Ok.. just to make sure we meet up tomorrow.. cos I wouldn't like Stuart
    to miss out on his pint of bitter.... I'll be the one in the Green &
    Dark Blue football top... 
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    What time is this "kicking off" then ?  12'ish ?
    

    >you're very very sad ! 
    
    	Hmmm.. and you have room to talk....
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Shall I wear the Reading shirt again then Dave ??? 
    
    I am on a 1 o'clock lunch, and I believe Stuart is the same. 
    
    Ian has bottled it I think but I will let him give you the lame excuse
    himself.
    
    
    
       			Stretch.

    
    I'll be there because apparently I owe Stretch a drink.
    
    Or is it a bag of peanuts?
    
    
    Jeff
    
    

    Stretch,
    
    You mean I won't be able to buy Ian his peanuts? Shame. Oh I forgot, I
    won't be able to as I won't have to take any cash as you and Rick both
    owe me a pint.
    
    Stuart 

    Stuart,
    
    Git !!
    
    Stretch.

    Al Robertson is leaving on the 10th of November so that seems as good a
    reason as any to have a few beers after work on Friday.
    
    Apparently, according to him anyway, all of you are welcome so a venue
    needs to be decided.
    
    Stuart
    
    
    Oh and by the way Mr Rutherford, your attendance is expected this time!

    Look, I told you. I had to go to a meeting !! Anyway, I hear that you 
    had enough sport through Rick being there !! Thanks for taking all the
    flak for me Rick. I'm sure I would have joined in during the procedings
    anyway, had I been there of course !!
    
    
    Ian.

    Ian,
    
    > during the procedings
        	 ^^^^^^^^^^
    
    Rather surprisingly, you are missing an 'e'.
    
    Stuart

    Ooh Stuart,
    
    	Give us an 'e' !!!
    
    
    
    Cheers,
    
    		Ian.

    Ian,
    
    Funnily enough, I know a man who can. Stretch.......!
    
    Stuart

    Stretch seems a reasonable guy... I'm not sure about that Dave
    bloke.... seems to be a bit biased towards ManU...
    
    Good to finally meet most of ya...
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    You only liked Stretch cos he's a closet Sheep fan !

    Oi !!!!
    
    a) I do not harbour closet Leeds(x3) tendencies. DAVE
    
    b) Contrary to unpopular belief (re Space cadet) the only person I know
    who supplies E's is Cap'n Bob Holness !!!!! (Blockbuster). STRATTO
    
    c) Al - Give us a call/note prior to the Bury game so we can get a beer
    or three in before/after the game.	
    
    d) Ian, you are a lightweight of the highest order !!!!!!
    
    			Stretch.
    
    P.S Rick held his ground fairly well......considering............??????
                                                   

    > P.S Rick held his ground fairly well......considering............??????
    
    I'm a Leeds fan... and everyone was out to get me....
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Stretch,
    
    re>>d) Ian, you are a lightweight of the highest order !!!!!!
    
    
    You really are too kind !!!
    
    Remind me to fix your DreamTeam score over the weekend !!!
    
    
    Ian.

    Al has confirmed Friday 10th November in the evening for a piss-up.
    Sign in here to let him know you are going. 
    
    Stuart

It's been decided to go for a Curry that night too, so does anyone know of any
decent Curry houses in Reading.

The only two I've tried are:

	The Standard 	on Caversham Road
	Amans		on Shinfield Road

Al

    I *might* have a problem with the evening of the 10th - any chance of
    making it the Thursday night ?

Thursday's the one night I can't make!!!

Hmmmm!!

    Bit of a shambles this really. Al, how do you propose to resolve it?
    
    Stuart

Couple of options here!!!

1) We go out on the 10th. (Bring your mum with you Dave ;-) )

2) We go out on the 17th. I'm not amiss to dragging out my leaving do's as long 
   as possible ;-) and we could have another lunchtime session one day next week
   across the road maybe!!!

This leaving mullarky is really complicated, I should have kept my mouth shut
and slipped away quietly ;-)

Al

    So what's happening this week.....??
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Rick,
    
    I think it's proving a tad difficult to arrange a night where we are
    all available - either that, or everybody has now decided not to go on
    hearing the news that you were to attend !
    
    Dave

    Thanks for you reply Dave.... 
    
    I thought we were going to celebrate Arsenal beating ManU for the first
    time in 9 years... seems like something worth celebrating... 
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    >I thought we were going to celebrate Arsenal beating ManU for the
    >first time in 9 years... seems like something worth celebrating...
    
    Funny that, most fans tend to celebrate the achievements of their own
    team.  Not jumping on the Arsenal bandwagon are we Rick ?

    You must be joking.... but I like to see anyone beat ManU... 
    
    ( lots of smiley type things....)
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick

    Lads, lads, let's not bicker and argue about who supports who !!
    Everybody, except Rick, hates Leeds. FACT !! Most people, myself
    included, hate Man Utd. A large proportion of people refer to Liverpool
    as the Red Sh*te, and only one person openly admits to liking Arsenal.
    Save all the hateful stuff for the Drinkies session, or you won't have
    anything to argue about, and that really would be awful !! Mind you,
    I'm glad Utd got dicked, and it really is easy to wind you up, Rick !!
    
    
    Ian$tactful_as_ever
    
    
    I'm just putting my fire-resistant suit on in preparation for the flame
    war that might just have started !!

    >it really is easy to wind you up, Rick !!
    
    	Never....
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

Due to the fact that certain participants are unable to make it this week, I
recommend that we have the night out on the 17th.

Put your Yeah's or nays as replies, and we'll have it organised by the end of
the week.

I'm sure Dave is all in favour of this 'cos by then most of us would have
forgotten that TGFTITW were beaten by The Arse at the weekend, and will be
griping about how bad England played on the previous Wednesday. Right Dave?? ;-)

I'll be at the Post house on Thursday lunchtime, so if you turn up early enough,
I may get you a drink.

Al

    Yeah...
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Leeds (x3)

    Ah, err, umm, I can't make it next Friday either.  What about next
    Wednesday ?  Watch the England game at the Posthouse and then go for
    some nosh !

    Al,
    
    Can't make next Friday either.
    
    Watching the footie in the pub isn't a bad idea. Does anyone know any
    better alehouses than the Posthouse which shows Sky?
    
    Stuart

    Well the Pickled Newt or the Sportsman.. on the Shinfield Road both
    have Sky... plus they are just around the corner from a couple of curry
    houses...
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    >Well the Pickled Newt or the Sportsman.. on the Shinfield Road both
    >have Sky... plus they are just around the corner from a couple of
    >curry houses...
    
    Rick,
    
    I've heard that Anans (?sp) curry house is not that good - have you been 
    to the newer one (I can't remember it's name) ?  If it's reasonable,
    then that's probably the most useful reply you've ever entered in this
    conference !
    
    Dave
    
    
    
    
    

    Nope... I've never been to either.... 
    
    I just live round the corner from those pubs so I could get slaughtered
    & not have far to walk home... ;->
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    According to my boss, The Barsa on Shinfield Road is quite good. Mind
    you, Rick would need to it to be near a field so he could graze...
    
    Stuart

    Well I'm sure you could have an Cheese omlette & some chips... 
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Ian,
    
    See how you feel after a bucketful of beer !
    
    Dave

    Dave,
    
    	Believe me, the last thing I want to go near after a bucketful of
    beer, is a foul-smelling dollop of half-eaten, half-cooked horsemeat,
    to which some kind fellow has kindly added a few pubic hairs and some
    dandruff. Maybe he'll even put out a bowl of pus for you to dip your
    rather large "Quavers TM" into.
    
    Give me a haggis anyday !!!
    
    
    Ian.

    Ian,
    
    Its ok. We'll tell Rick not to come.
    
    Stuart

    Ian,
    
    The only thing that makes a Haggis vaguely edible is a damn good dollop
    of malt whisky poured over the top.   Perhaps you should try that with
    your curry !
    
    Dave

>    The only thing that makes a Haggis vaguely edible is a damn good dollop
>    of malt whisky poured over the top.

You obviously haven't had the haggis from Olivers in Lockerbie. Delicious.

As far as wednesday is concerned. I actually had a paragraph in my reply
suggesting that we watch the 'footie' when I recalled that I'm busy. So I
deleted it.

This is getting bloody stupid.

So I want to make the following statement:

I was lying, I'm not leaving so there's no point in trying to organise a p*ss up
over the next week or so ;-)

OK so I lied, I am leaving, so let's have a drink Thursday lunchtime, and when
you lot can get a mutual time when you can get together in the evening,
mail/phone me (and I'll probably be busy ;-) and I'll come along.

Al

    >This is getting bloody stupid.
    
    	Why don't we have a meeting about it....
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Further suggestion:
    
    	Next Wednesday, over the road, in The Post House, England v
    	Switzerland, a few beers and sort out a time and place for beers &
    	curry evening.
    
    	Those going thus far:
    
    	Me
    	Dave E
    	Ian 'Mad Jock' Rutherford
    
	Stuart

    >Ian 'Mad Jock' Rutherford
    
    Hmmm, Ian has a very *interesting* Scottish dialect.
    
    Which part of Scotland do you come from Ian ..... Surrey ?

    Oive gaht a bet af a doialekt ain't I, Dayve !! Oive ben
    dohmestikaitedd, thahts woie !!
    
    Cough......splutter.....sorry, I couldn't keep up the Southern
    countryfied accent. I was born just outside of Selkirk (in a little
    barn to be exact !!), but moved down here when I was about 4 yrs old.
    All my school life, I've been surrounded by Berkshire folk, so any 
    sort of accent I used to have, has faded some-what.
    
    
    You can out more about my childhood and growing up so far from my
    birthplace in my book entitled "No, really !! I am Scottish !!", priced
    �4.99 at all good bookshops.
    
    
    Ian.

    
    RE .365

    
    Re .368 
    
    I think I'm becoming hysterical.
    
    Re .365
    
    Is there any way of making this a more central location as I'm playing
    football at Rivermead until 7:30 and don't really want to trek back out
    to the Post House?
    
    Unless, of course, I'm not invited, in which case you can all just
    bugger off!
    
    Thanks then,
    
    Jeff
    
    

    Jeff,
    
    We would welcome your attendance. I'm sure Rick 'Graham Taylor' Morrell
    is looking forward to you being there as well.
    
    Know any pubs in town with Sky?
    
    Stuart

    >I'm sure Rick 'Graham Taylor' Morrell
    
    	I would.... and whats all this GT stuff.... I have you know... I'm
    near the top of the IOSG Fantasy League Football.. I'm not going to get
    relegated...
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    and i'm at the bottom of the league and plan on staying there!
    wonder if I get relegated to the MIG Fantasy Football league?
    
    Andrew

    
    Re. Sky pubs in toon.....
    
    The Horn - Stretch is banned so a jolly good reason for going here.
    
    The Red Lion - if it's still open.
    
    The Bugle - Beer can be a bit dodgy.
    
    The Thornwalk - often full of Merchant Bankers.
    
    The Ship Hotel - well, you'll get a seat anyway.
    
    Don't know of any more but I could do some research between now and 
    next week.....
    
    
    Jeff
    

    > The Horn - Stretch is banned so a jolly good reason for going here.
    
    So is Stuart....

    >and whats all this GT stuff
    
    Rick, 
    
    Try to recall what was being said in The Post House. Something about
    being a defender of the long ball game. 
    
    It was a classic put-down. 
    
    Stuart 

    For those who weren't there yesterday, next Wednesday to save Jeff
    travelling the enormous distance between DEC Park and Rivermead and
    back again, the venue is The Turks Head. Mainly 'cos he said so.
    
    Stuart

    What time??
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Right.... seems good...
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Stretch doesn't want to go to the Turks Head. He doesn't really like
    it. Thus the suggestion is 'The Hook and Tackle' which, according to
    the Landlord, is probably going to show the match. 
    
    Which pub do people prefer? Its up to you, the Panel, to decide.
    Personally I don't give a flying....

    >Insert appropriate missing word...
    
    Fish???
    
    Well I don't mind... as long as some one makes up their mind one way or
    the other....
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Right, Stretch has come up with valid excuses namely:
    	
    	Beers crap
    	Interiors crap
    	TVs small
    	Full of 'scummy students' (� Stretch)
	
    He also assures us that the 'H&T' has a big screen therefore we'll meet
    there at 7pm.

    > Full of 'scummy students'
    
    	And what is wrong with students??
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Rick,
    
    It was one of the few occassions when myself, Dave and Stretch were in
    complete agreement.
    
    They are the arse-end of society.
    
    Stuart

    
    Re. Scummy students
    
    See Pulp's "Common People" - unfortunately most students probably miss
    the point.
    
    Re. Hook and Tackle
    
    I'll be there around 8:00; save me a seat someone.
    
    
    Jeff
    
                                                                          

    Erm....just one small thing. Does Al know that we have changed
    locations now, or is he still gonna turn up at the Turks' and sit on
    his own in the corner.
    
    With crap beer.
    
    Crap interior design.
    
    With people that Rick likes !!
    
    
    Ugh !! What a thought.
    
    
    Ian.

    Ian,
    
    I'll give him a ring and let him know of the change. Maybe.

    Drinkies nnn has been tentatively arranged for the evening of December
    12th, England v Portugal - venue to be decided.  All those interested,
    please respond to this note.
    
    Ta
    Dave
    
    

    
    
    Well, I'll get the arguments off to a flying start by asking for a 
    change of date (or possibly an additional date). 12/12 could prove a 
    bit tricky (some sort of SBU party) but the day after is the 
    Ireland/Holland match which I believe is live on the Beeb. Anyone 
    interested?
    
    I suggest orange shirts and Ruud Gullit wigs and a venue of the Irish
    club. Good idea or what?
    
    jeff
    
    
    

    Yep.. I would be interested... 
    
    Stretch... I've got that Leeds shirt ordered... when do you want me
    to drop it in...??
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    re:Ireland/Holland match
    
    Stratford's taking an exam on the Thursday morning - as the intention
    is to get absolutely bladdered and then to fall asleep head first into
    a curry, I don't think he'll be keen to go out on the Wednesday.
    
     

    Well, after due consideration (actually, a chat with the missus) it
    would seem that the Wednesday would be better for me after all.  So,
    all I need now is some confirmation from messrs Stretch and Rutherford
    that the 13/12 is ok, and I'll give Al and Stuart a ring.  
    
    As for the venue, I would suggest that we don't return to the same
    boozer as last time - the locals didn't seem overly impressed with our
    reaction to the Switzerland goal !  Howsabout the Post House ?  Big
    screen and we can meet straight after work ....

    Dave,
    Small problem with the Post House- I drive to work so getting the right
    quantity of beer down the throat is a no no !!!!. Is the kick off 8 o'clock
    cos if it is I might be able to go home and come back.
    Other question is about Stratto - I thought he had an exam on Thursday
    or something ???
    
    			Stretch.
    
    P.S Ian will only bottle it anyway Dave. The only time he goes to the
    post house is for Raith Rovers games !!!!

    Sounds good to me.....
    
    I'll have to start saving up to afford my pint in the PH... 
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Stretch,
    
    It doesn't have to be the Post House.  Where would you suggest ?
    
    As I mentioned in an earlier note, Stratto *has* got an exam on the
    Thursday, but hey he doesn't have to get pissed does he ?  I'm sure
    Stuart's capable of restraint once in a while.  Anyway, I'll phone him
    and see what he thinks.                                         

    Dave,
      Upon rereading the note it is a bit negative. As I said, if the K.O
    is late I should be able to sort something out. Besides which I do not
    want the same debacle as last time regarding where we go for the match.
    
    
    			Stretch.

    >Upon rereading the note it is a bit negative.
    
    Don't be so sensitive you Southern Jessie !
    
    I put forward the idea of the PH cos it's convenient for me.  If it's
    not convenient for you then offer an alternative.  No problem, lots of
    smilies, love you lots etc etc.
    

    I am trying (unusually) to be reasonable Dave. After vetoing the Turks
    idea last time I do not want the blood on my hands, as it were, this
    time.
    
    
    			Stretch.

    Oh, btw Stretch - d'ya wanna see the Reds on Saturday ?  I can
    (possibly) get extra tickets for the game vs Sheff Wed if you're
    interested.

    Sorry Dave,
    
    		Stretch will be watching Leeds lose to Wimbledon on
    Saturday !!
    
    
    	:-))
    
    
    Ian.
    
    

    Well he won't be getting any tickets unless he apologises for calling
    me a "big Northern blouse".
    
    re: drinkies.. Al has just phoned me to confirm that he is available
    for drinks on Wednesday.  He has no objections to the PH - providing
    they are showing the game of course.

    
    How about the Turk's Head.
    
    Only joking. Or am I?
    
    Jeff
    
    

    hhhhhmmmmmmmm.
    		
    			Stretch.

    Lot of nice young female students in the TH.. more than in the PH! :->
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Don't start me off again, you STUDENT type !!!!!
    
    
    			Stretch

    Stuart$arsenal phoned me yesterday to say that he will *not* be coming
    along for a drink next Wednesday - something about studying for an
    exam.  Hey Stretch, doesn't that make Stratto a student-type, and
    therefore in your eyes the lowest of the low ?

    
    Dave
    
    	What is he studying ? Is he doing a crash course in music so as he
    can get into the Singing Section ? So how long does it take Arsenal
    supporters to learn the words to "1-0 To The Arsenal" ?
    
    	Actually that reminds me. I read Manchester United are to introduce
    singing sections in the revamped Old Trafford. Can we look forward to
    hearing the dulcet tones of Dave Edwards on Match Of The Day ? Perhaps
    a solo or two for your adoring fans ?
    
    Malc.
    

    I'm an ex-Student & proud of it!!!!!!!! :->>>
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Well at least there is one thing in your life to keep you happy then
    Rick !!!
    
    
    			Stretch.

    re .410
    
    Somehow, I thought you would be !!!
    
    
    Ian.

    Stretch has just told me to add something sheepy so:-
    
    
    Rick,
    
    	Baa Baa white sheep,
    	Why are you so saaaad,
    	"Baa baa baa baa,
    	I don't know I just followed you guys !!"
    
    
    
    There. That's better !!
    
    
    	Ian.

    Thanks Ian.....
    
    Hope you feel better for that!
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Folks,
       With regard to drinkies for the Ireland v Holland the venue has been
    suggested as The Bugle in town (opposite the Cannon cinema) Easy for   
    everyone to get too etc etc. Reply asap as plans seem to change by the 
    second at the moment.
    
    			Stretch.

    >Bugle
    
    Is that the one where you've got to be under 3 foot to get in??
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    
    Rick,
    
    No.
    
    Stretch,
    
    Yes.
    
    Jeff
    
    

    Yep... I'll be there.... What time??
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Any hints about the time?
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    8 o'clock K.O Rick. Should be arriving at about 7:30 - 7:45 (ish) after
    dealing with the dog walking duties etc etc
    
     
    
     			Stretch.

    Right.. I'll be there about 7:30... :->
    
    I'll be the one in the Leeds top... 
    
    
    
    	NOT!!! 
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    So what happened to you Dave??
    
    God.. the beer in the Bugle was awful....
    
    Cheers
    
    Rick.
    

    Apologies - I did mention to Stretch yesterday that I might not make
    it.  Was a good time had by all ?

    
    Dave,
    
    All except the Irish.
    
    Jeff
    
    

    Stretch was waving his ManU Credit Card about last night.....
    
    I'm surprised you don't have one Dave... but Stretch did say that you
    weren't that sad... 
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Next session of drinkies is next Tuesday in The Post House to watch
    Sunderland v Man Utd. Those attending thus far only include one of the
    Man Utd contigent and his name isn't Dave Edwards.

    
    	Has Stretch offered to pay for all the drinks on his ManU credit
    card if they win??
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Rick,
    
    Err, you must have missed the Committee Meeting that decided you were
    paying all evening...
    
    Stuart

    Well, it pains me to say it but I don't think that Dave Edwards fellow
    is doing the reputation of Man Utd fans any good at all by repeatedly
    ducking out of these drinkies sessions. Messrs. Keane, Cantona, Ince
    and co. have sweated blood in recent years so that Mancs fans can hold
    their heads high...and you can't even bring yourself to turn up for a
    drink with friends.
    
    So what's your excuse this time, Dave?
    
    Dom

    Dom,  
      I think his excuse is that he is a LIGHTWEIGHT FAIRWEATHER kinda guy.
    
    			Stretch.

    >Dom,  
    >I think his excuse is that he is a LIGHTWEIGHT FAIRWEATHER kinda guy.
    
    Stretch, 
    
    You're obviously more outspoken than I am, but I have to admit that the
    evidence suggests you're not a million miles away from the truth.
    
    Dom 

    Stretch,
    
    > Dave is lacking in the teste department !!!!
    
    You appear to be missing an 's' unless you know something we don't...
    
    Stuart

    Stuart,
    
    	But "teste departments" doesn't make sense.........oh...I get it
    now....ooopss......thats rude !!!
    
    
    Ian.$slightly_"Rainbow"ish _this_morning!!

    "Rainbowish" ?????

    Oi Stretch,
    
    	Who the **** is 'Ziipy ?'
    
    
    Ian$It_was_George_actually !!

    re: a few back
    
    Dom,
    
    Let me take a wild stab in the dark here and work on the assumption
    that you have not yet experienced the pleasures of a night out with
    Messrs Stratford, Rutherford and Stretch.  If you had, then I would say
    with confidence that your attitude to my reluctance to go on further
    drinking bouts with them would be different.  Mr Stratford spends the
    whole evening practising his scales, in the vain hope of one day
    earning selection for the infamous Highbury Singing Squad.  Mr
    Rutherford spends the whole evening threatening to give Rick a damn
    good hiding, and Mr Stretch seems to have developed a liking for
    jumping into bodies of water.  All in all, not your ideal choice for a
    good night out.
    
    I hope you can now understand my stance regarding next Tuesday's
    drinkies, and, anyway, they'll only take the pi$$ out of me if Utd get
    beat !
    
    Dave
    

    >I hope you can now understand my stance regarding next Tuesday's
    >drinkies, 
    
    Not a bit of it! They're just young innocent folk out for a bit of fun.
    The problem with you northerners is that you don't know how to let your
    hair down...                                                   
    
    >....anyway, they'll only take the pi$$ out of me if Utd get
    >beat !
    
    Well, if you insist on putting ideas into their heads, Dave, you've only 
    got yourself to blame...
    
    Dom

    Dom,
      I should point out that I also support Utd yet am able to take the
    flak - not just dish it out like some LIGHTWEIGHT. I am still to be
    convinced that the other half is not at the root of this cop out !!!
    
    
    		Stretch_who_is_now_completely_Canalphobic_!!!! 

    Stretch,
    
    The difference is that nobody takes you seriously as a Utd fan.  I
    mean, one appearance at OT does not a ManU-supporter make.  You're
    viewed by many as a glory-seeking, bandwagon-jumping Utd fan, and
    therefore tend to be ignored when the serious pi$$-taking commences.  
    
    Look Stretch, if it means that much to you, I will endeavour to come out and
    play next Tuesday.  Happy now ?
    
    
    

    >Look Stretch, if it means that much to you, I will endeavour to come out and
    >play next Tuesday.  Happy now ?
    
    That's more like it! Now let's pretend you never made any of those
    offensive comments about messrs. Stratford, Stretch and Morrell, and
    forget about the whole ugly situation ;-)
    
    Henry Kissinger

    > Make sure he pays for the first round, lads...
    
    Dom,
    
    Being that 'Eddo' is a Northerner, it is highly unlikely that he will
    buy the first round....
    
    Stuart

    
    Stratto,
    
    Any round would be nice.....
    
    Jeff
    
    

    Just to clear up any misunderstandings, tonights event will take place
    in The Sportsmans
    
    
    Oh alright, no it won't its in The Post House. Isn't it?
    
    Stuart

    Sad, but true !!!

    Chaps,
    
    I have just had a call from Al Robertson. He will be appearing at the
    Post House @ 6:30.
    
    
    			Stretch.

    Oh.. thats a shame.. I'll be in the Sportsman about that time.. I
    thought we were going there...?? ;->
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    re -1
    
    It's that famous Yorkshire sense of humour shining through again. Rick,
    you are a wag or some such word begining with 'wa'.
    
    Stuart

    RE Rick, you are a wag or some such word begining with 'wa'.
    
    I will add one letter to that..
    
    Rick, you are a wag or some such word begining with 'wan'.
    
    Anyone care to add another letter -:).
    
    William

    Bill...
    
    How are QPR going?? Are they in the bottom 3 yet??
    
    Sounds like Leeds are going to sign Sinclair as well...:->>>
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Rick,
    
    About the only thing Leeds (x3) haven't been linked with signing this
    season is the Magna Carta...
    
    Stuart

    Rick,
    
    	Replies .446 and .450 clearly show you breaking my Copyright law
    on that particular sign-off. I f you persist in doing this I will be
    forced to take legal action.
    
    
    Ian.

    Rick,
    
    As Ians Legal representative, I am informing you that you are guilty of
    breach of Copyright and must pay compensation. Paying for drinks
    throughout this evening for both Ian and myself may resolve this matter
    amicably.
    
    Stuart

    Hmmm.. I don't think so...
    
    Stuart 
    (c) Ricardo Enterprises 1995.

    Plank,
    
    What does '(c)' stand for? 
    
    Stuart

    I think vital letters are missing again !!!!

    Well. Top laughs were had by one and all.(I think !!!) Apologies to
    anyone else in the bar last night as we were uncouth at times to say
    the least !!!
    
    Where is that lightweight Stratto today though ?????
    
    			Stretch.
    
    P.S When is the next outing due ??

    Did Clare work out which northern Leeds bloke was talking to her down
    the phone last night??
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Rick,
    
    	I don't think she could hear anything, 'cos of the constant
    bleating of your flock that had decided to follow you over, 'cos they
    couldn't think of anything else to do, 'cos they're SHEEP !!!
    
    BTW, how the Hell could you let a HeeBee-GeeBee follow you around. I
    could understand McSheep doing it, but a Hibs fan ?? I didn't think
    they existed any more !!
    
    Yours Sincerely,
    
    
    		Ian.

    Well he was cursing ever meeting you... most of what he was saying
    about Rangers fans I can't put it in here... 
    
    So where is Dave today.. I thought he'd be in his element...
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Don't forget the Gillingham fan he had with him as well Ian. Strange
    mix of compadres indeed !!!
    
    			Stretch.
    
    P.S Rick. Apparently you were so scuttered you were unable to answer
    the question "Who are you ?". Pi$$ed does not do justice to your state
    according to Clare. She says "I could not understand a word he was
    saying". Now she knows how we feel !!! 

    >P.S When is the next outing due ??
    
    Well if I'm still in the country when Leeds play Norwich we could go &
    see that game... I think its on the 11th Feb on ITV.
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

  >  Don't forget the Gillingham fan he had with him as well Ian.
                      ^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^
    
    What ! You mean there is another one of us lurking around Digital.
    The gospel according to Tony Pulis is obviously spreading fast.
    
    Gary.
    

    Gary,
      I do not think he was a Deccie. I seem to remember talking (artistic
    licence) him about Fortune-West and the game at Reading. Unbiased of
    course.
    
    			Stretch.

    >I do not think he was a Deccie.
    
    	Yep.. he certainly was a Deccie... he works in my old group...
    
    	Stretch.. unbiased... Hmmm...
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

Re .451

Very funny Stu.  Ever think of taking up a career in comedy -
you'd bring the house down!

Who is Magna Carta anyhow - some wonder kid from Italy?

                        James.

P.S. Great display last evening by Arsenal?  I hear David White 
had a good game for Sheffield United?

    At one stage I thought he'd scored the goal.. now that would have been
    a miracle.. ;-> 
    
    David *hite looked reasonably good last night.. but I'm glad he's left
    Leeds... 
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Rick,
       Why are your chums not active in this conference. I know that
    probably sounds like a stupid question.
    
    			Stretch.

What kind of chums are you talking about?  If you means Leeds'
chums then there's me, Mr. Lindley, Mr. Parsons, Mr. Jamani,
Mr. Osman, oh and Mr. Cadd (whom I haven't seen in here for
a long while) to name but a few.

What Rick does in his spare time is his business ;-).

    James,
       Check the previous 10-15 nonsensical notes to get an idea of his
    back up for a drinkies sesh !!!
    
    			Stretch.

    Rick,
    
    	Where's McSheep and HeeBee-GeeBee !!!
    
    
    	
    Ian.

    They don't note in here...
    
    We've actually got another McSheep starting in a few weeks time...
    looks like no one supports Rangers anymore except you Ian.
    
    

    Rick,
    
    	I take it you're a McSheep fan aswell ?? You just follow the crowd
    mate !!
    
    The wool has certainly been pulled over your eyes, of that there is no
    doubt !!!!�
    
    
    	Ian
    �Copyright - Alan Partridge

    The Social Committee have just had a meeting and decided that the next
    drinkies is Wednesday 7 February 1996 at The Post House.
    
    Enjoy.

    What match is on TV???
    
    I guess Arsenal won't be playing......
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    YeeHaa!

    So is the match still on tonight?

    Rick,
    Yes, although why I am telling you, you GLORYHUNTING type, I do not
    know! People will be heading over the road 5:30 onwards. I will leave
    here at 6 o'clock. Are you going then? Will you have your "Posse" with
    you? Will we be able to keep Rutherford under control in the presence
    of your chums?
    
    				Stretch.

    Yep... I should be across there.... & I think the "Posse" should be
    along.... along with a new Aberdeen supporter....
    
    And yes.. I should be wearing that scarf....
    
    Cheers,
    
    Rick

    This could be VERY interesting!

    Well it doesn't look like I'll make it tonight... sorry chaps... 
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Despite advice to the contrary, the next drinkies is on Thursday 7
    March. Kick-off is 5.30-6pm in The Three Guineas. 

    Well I will be working here until 6 so I will be in the pub at 7
    earliest. What time are we heading to Sweeneys 'cos it might be easier
    to meet you there.
    
    
                      Stretch.

    So folks,
       Who is going to be at the drinkies session this Thursday in honour of
    Mr Howard???? 
    	Messrs Edwards and Stratford will be in the Three Guineas at
    the railway station for 6 o'clock to meet Ray. Food will no doubt be
    needed to line the stomuch/soak the alcohol up etc. My vote goes to
    Sweeneys on that one. 
    
        There are still some noters who live near enough to Reading to have
    no excuse for not attending. The names Kirkpatrick, Morell, Hawley, Jolly,
    Jamani spring to mind.
    
    
    			Stretch.

    Well I should be able to make it along... it depends if Leeds can stuff
    QPR on Wednesday night.....
    
    I don't fancy meeting a smug QPR fan if we lose...
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

I will probably be there with cunno-esque listings of all Liverpool's
trophies/achievements to hand just in case anyone wants one.

Ian,

    As mentioned a few notes ago, the starting point for tonight's drink is
    the Three Guineas pub at Reading Station.  Stuart and I will be there
    from about 6pm.  I think we'll be there until about 8pm to give
    everyone a chance to turn up.  From there, any pub serving Theakston's
    O.P - oh, and we might get something to eat as well.
    
    All are welcome to share in an evening of intellectual debate and
    philosophical discussion.
    

    Dave,
      My stomach (and myself) thought we were going to Sweeneys @ 8 o'clock
    to provide some lining in the intestines.
    
    			Stretch.

    Stretch,
    
    An alternative is to walk from the Station into the centre of Reading
    via Burger King and settle your delicate little tummy with a Spicy Bean
    Burger. Yum Yum !  It's also a lot easier to "dispose" of later in the
    evening than a stodgy old pie.
    
    

     Dave, 
       Why did I not think of paying the same amount of money, if not more,
    that a Bugger King meal costs when I could spend the same, or less, on
    a decent, filling, tasty plate of pie 'n' veg !?!?! Doh! How stupid of
    me!
    
    			Stretch.

    That and the fact we all seemed to have nodded in agreement to the
    Sweeneys idea!

    Hippy
    
    Save your aggression for later on.
    
    Stratto$philosophical_head_on

    
    RE .488
    
    >>All are welcome to share in an evening of intellectual debate and
    >>philosophical discussion.
    
    That's very kind of you Dave. Where will this be taking place, then?
    
    Jeff
    
    

    .493 - I have bile to spare.
    
    .494 - Nowhere that we visit!
    
    			Stretch.

    
    I will be joining you later on as I am a sad git with nothing better to
    do. Where will you be at around 9:00pm?
    
    Jeff
    

    I would guess that we'll either be in Sweeney's or the pub next door
    (not The Horn) 'cos it serves OP.
    
    Stuart

    Do you mean The Sun?

    If it's the white one on the corner, then yes.

    
    Well, I'm sure Ray enjoyed his night out in Reading....chucked out of
    two pubs, threatened with the police - you know, the usual thing. The
    strange thing was that being refused service in the Sun was,
    apparently, my fault,  because, to quote Dave, I "look like a thug". The
    fact that the rest had already been slung out of Sweeney's for
    shouting, singing and genereally causing offence was, of course,
    irrelevant.
    
    Jeff
    
    
    

    As Jeff mentioned, it was quite an eventful night !! The proceedings
    started at 6:00, which is when Dave and Stratto arrived at the 3
    Guineas. They were joined by Gareth, the Half-Welsh, Half-Isle of
    Wighty, Three-Quarter Badger West Ham fan, followed by myself and Patio
    a bit later. At about 7:30, Fabio arrived. Who is Fabio ?? Fabio is
    Stretch. His blonded, Timotei-ed locks flowing behind him as he strided
    across the pub floor. All the girls screamed. So did Dave when he
    spilled half his pint over his leg !! A young woman (I think ??)
    presented Fabio with his first Rose of the evening, and asked for a
    signed photo !! Then, at ten to 8, Ray arrived and was immediately
    welcomed into the Drinkies bosom, when he bought the first round !! I
    think it took him a bit of getting used to, but he was soon slagging
    Leeds off with everybody else !! The festivities continued until about
    9 o'clock, when we remembered that we were supposed to be going to
    Sweeney's. Dave, Stratto, Ray and Iain Dowie lookalike !! decided to
    get a taxi. Lightweights. Patio, Fabio and myself decided to walk and I
    was mightily glad for it, I can tell you !! When we arrived at
    Sweeney's, we met up with a decidedly more sober/less drunk Jeff, who
    seemed quite confused with most of the goings on. Sweeney's was packed
    out !! And with us making as much noise as was phyically possible eg:
    Fabio, Fabio, Fabio..... , Cotten Eye Fabio !! , All Coppers are C..
    (you know the rest !!) it was no surprised that we were asked to leave.
    "Dowie" got a slap from some woman that he offended, so we all then
    decide to start quoting The Fast Show like nobody's business, eg: Ah
    Luuuurrrvvve Yooooo !! I'll get me coat !! This week I have been mostly
    eating..... !! Jumpers for goalposts, rush goalie. What's the score ??
    17-12 !! I think you get the general idea !! We did get a table in
    Sweeneys, but then someone had the bright idea to go for a curry
    instead. Cue for extremely loud debate over whether to stay at Sweeneys
    or go and insult some poor, unassuming Indian waiter. Dave at this
    point was getting extremely abusive and Fabio took offence !! Fabio
    started tutting and ignoring Dave at every opportunity, so Dave got
    even more abusive. It was then that the Management decided to inform us
    of their impending involvement with the local constabulary. We left.
    Patio, Stuart and myself went to Burger King, the others argued their
    way to The Sun. Jeff walked in the door and was told that he wouldn't
    be served. When Jff inquired as to why, he was told that they were part
    of Pubwatch and that Sweeney's had rung them to inform them of our
    behavior. Fair enough. We went over the road to the Brewers' Tap
    instead, where we drunk ourselves into oblivion and the last thing that
    everyone can remember is :
    
    
    
    		FABIO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    
    A worse-for-wear Ian.

    >but he was soon slagging Leeds off with everybody else !!
    
    	No change there then..... 
    
    	What a night.. sorry I couldn't make it... but maybe next time...
    it was a shame I couldn't meet Ray... QPR fans are just so few & far
    between these days....
    
    	Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    I think I may be able to shed some further light as to why they didn't
    get served in the Sun. As Ian, Pat and myself were wandering towards
    Burger King, a certain Northern noter, standing in the middle of Castle
    Street, shouted at the top of his voice, 'Stuart, OP!' and pointed in the 
    general direction of the pub. Given that he was equidistant between
    myself and the pub, I think they probably had advanced warning that you
    were on your way. That same noter does however deserve credit for
    christening Fabio. 
    
    Stuart
    
    BTW, I still don't recall getting the taxi...
    
    

    Men, what can I say?, except...
    
    FABIO!!
    
    Top night out, I still haven't had that curry tho....
    
    Ray....
    
    ps....I've decided to go home to Dublin. Those are the first 2 pubs
    I've ever been thrown out of....the shame is unbearable....
    
    pps....how did I get back for the last train????

    >pps....how did I get back for the last train????
     
    Don't ask us. Most of us are still surprised that we made it home...
    
    Stuart

    >Street, shouted at the top of his voice, 'Stuart, OP!'
    
    OP = "Old Peculier" (Theakstons)

    I would also give credit to the young lady in the Three Guineas who
    handed Fabio a rose, despite being approached by an excessively drunk
    moi to do so. I don't think that he was that amused by the episode. 
    
    Stuart

    Stratto,
    I think her boyfriend was less than impressed that you were refering to
    this young lady as a complete and utter moose, very loudly,  in the
    toilets while he was stood behind you!!!
    
    			Stretch.

    Ray,
    
    	You got a taxi to the station with Jeff, Patio and myself !!
    
    	I paid !!
    
    
    	Ian.

    Stratto,
    
     >> Fabio,
    
     >> I did not refer to the young lady as a moose.
    
     >> Stuart
    
        That was the polite version! The full vulgar, sexist, unsubtle
    language you were using to describe the womans(?) appeal to Mr Edwards
    is unrepeatable in this conference!!!
    
    
    			Stretch.

    Fabio,
    
    In that particular conversation, there was no vulgarity whatsoever. We
    were both laughing at you too much. 
    
    Stuart

    .511
    
    Fabio,
    
    we've just had an announcement over the tannoy up here...."Be careful 
    when leaving by North Security as there are sheep on the road..."..
    That's about as exciting as it gets up here, I'm afraid, so of course I
    enjoyed myself. Now, where did I put those wellies?...
    
    Ray....

    Re: .510
    
    What are you on, Stratto ??
    
    Ray said he couldn't remember how he got to the Station. I replied in
    .509 that Jeff, Ray, Pat and myself got a taxi and then you come
    steaming in with .510 about me, Fabio and Pat walking to the
    cash-point. I think you've lost it, somewhere along the line !!
    
    
    Ian.

    >I think you've lost it, somewhere along the line !!
    
    Very probably.
    
    Stuart

    
    re .509
    
    >> I paid!
    
    Did you bollocks!
    
    Jeff
    
    

    OK !!
    
    Maybe I didn't !!
    
    
    Ian.

    Chaps,
    I propose the next drinkies should be for the England v Bulgaria match
    on the 27th (?) of this month. We can all admire the qualities of the
    Reading keeper on the night. One Mr Mick Haylov (!) according to
    teletext!
    Venue to be bitched about for the next couple of weeks!
    
    
    			Stretch.

    	I think that the venue should be The Three Guineas as they are
        announcing the arrival of their 40" TV screen and they serve a damn
        fine pint. We can then all go to Sweeneys and get a pie for dinner.
    
        Stuart

    Stratto,
    
         You are being far too sensible! Date - agreed! Venue - sorted!
    Food - unlikely!
    
    			Stretch.

    .518
    sorry Ivan..er Fab..er Stretch, won't be able to make it, end of
    quarter and all that. I shall have a curry that night tho, in your honour..
    
    Ray....                                                                  

    re .520
    
    Fabio
    
    >Food - unlikely!
    
    Y'know you were talking to God on the Great White Telephone all day
    Friday, well I didn't. And given that the other 2 members of the evenings
    entourage who threw didn't eat either, your assertion is likely to lead
    to a similar outcome. You will note that me, Ian & Pat all had
    something vaguely edible and did not follow your lead in the throwing
    stakes.
    
    Stuart

    so who were the other two WIMPS who hurled?...
    
    we need to be told....
    
    Southern jessies....
    
    Ray (liver of steel!)....

    One supported West Ham and the other...
    
    
    I'm not naming
    
    Stuart

    I'm afraid t'was I.  Ah well, at least I made it to work on the Friday
    unlike some people.

    Dave,
    You woofed on the night? Chuffin' lightweight!! 
    
    Ref making it to work - I had the sense to book the day off. Sadly I
    had not planned to stay in bed til 6 o'clock the following day trying  
    (with no success cos I got no food on the night!!!) to chuck!
    
    
    			Stretch. 

    >You woofed on the night? Chuffin' lightweight!!
    
    Some of us weren't drinking poxy lager all night.

    "STUART! O.P!!!!"

    Dave,
    
    Can you recall what the woman in The Sun said yet?
    
    Stuart
    
    

    So did you lot go for a drink on Wednesday then? 
    
    Stuart

    A proposal has been made that next Wednesday (Liverpool v Newcastle) be
    the next drinkies. The venue is the Three Guineas.
    
    Stuart

    
    Fine by me - as long as I don't get the blame for getting thrown out,
    or threatened with the police. Like last time.
    
    Unless, of course, it's my fault..
    
    Jeff
    

    
    
    >>A proposal has been made that next Wednesday (Liverpool v Newcastle) be
    >>the next drinkies. The venue is the Three Guineas.
    
    
    Is anything happening tomorrow neet, then?
    
    Jeff
    
    

    Yep, still The Three Guineas and basically as early as you can.

    I'd love to be there but I'm down in Portsmouth at the moment....
    
    What time will you be there until?? I might pop in for a quick pint as
    I make my way back from the railway station. 
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Rick, 
    
    Dunno but given that it is the only pub we haven't been made to feel
    distinctly unwelcome in or thrown out of, I would guess quite a long
    time.
    
    Stuart

    Rick,
    it rather depends on how long before:-
    
    a) We are asked to leave
    
    b) Dave kicks off!
    
    c) The Polis arrive!!!
    
                 Stretch.
    
    P.S Or d) I, in full Fabio mode get swamped by rose wielding mooses!! 

    Well I'll pop my head round the pub door to see if your in when I get
    into Reading....
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick.

    Due to a complete and utter lack of interest, tonight has been
    cancelled. 
    
    Stuart

      <<< Note 479.539 by CHEFS::STRATFORDS "Groovy, Laidback & Nasty" >>>

>    Due to a complete and utter lack of interest, tonight has been
>    cancelled. 
    
  
     I know how you feel.
  
     Stuart

    More accurately tonight has been cancelled due to a major outbreak of
    lightweightedness!!!!!
    
    			Stretch.

    The next drinkies is on April 24 when England v Croatia is on TV and
    will take place in The Three Guineas (initially). It is also one of my
    last chances to spread wise words or opinionated bullshit (depending on
    your viewpoint - my own view is the latter) as I leave Digital on May 2.
    
    Stuart

    
    Having been out of circulation on the jolly japs on a wednesday 
    for sometime and now finding himself with a tad more time....
    
    Where's the Three Guineas ????
    
    Pj

    The venue, initially, has changed.
    
    The Flyer & Firkin, opposite the Heathrow RailAir Link at Reading BR
    station, will be the place where it all kicks-off at 5.30pm. From
    there, it is likely to be in The Three Guineas for the football unless
    of course the game is being shown in The Flyer & Firkin. 
    
    Topics which are guaranteed to wind up a certain 6'7 hippy are:
    
    	Scouts
    	Real Ale drinkers
    	Sheep gags of any sort
    	
    Come along and enjoy an evenings Stretch-baiting.
    
    Stuart
                                                     

    Stuart,
    
    	Can i wear my "wholegrain" jumper ???
    
    
    	Ian.

    Ian,
    
    As long as you have the "palette" for it...
    
    Stuart

    So, who will be in attendence on Wednesday? eh?
    
    
    				Stretch.

    At the last count:
    
    	Me
    	You
    	Rutherford
    	Eddo
    	Pat
    	Jeff
    	Al
    	
    
    Stuart

    Add to that:
    
    	Rick the sheep
    
    

    Don't know about Pat.
    
    He's done his ligaments in his leg in.
    
    Possibly thru playing football, possibly thru being drunk and falling
    down a flight of stairs.....You decide !!!
    
    
    Ian.

    Ian,
    >>He's done his ligaments in his leg in.
    
    How does that stop him playing the fruit machine? eh?
    
    
    
    			Stretch.

    Hey,
    
    	It means he can't walk, you sad t***er !!!
    
    

    I'll see if the Hibee & the Scottish Sheep fans fancy coming down to
    the pub... 
    
    As long as you promise to keep Mr. Blue Nose Rutherford under control... 
    
    Cheers,
    
    	Rick

    Rick,
    
    I think you're biggest problem is a certain 6'7 Sheepshagger...
    
    Stuart

    Stratto - Yeah yeah yeah!!!!
    
    Ian - You blue nosed lightweight! How does his inablity to walk
    prevent him from pushing a few buttons? You pointy headed cretin!! 
    
   Rick - Somehow I cannot see your chums attending. Given the fact that
    they  blank all of us in the street, not just that Rangers fool!!!
    
    
    
    				Stretch.

    >Given the fact that they blank all of us in the street
    
    Everyone blanks you in the street...

    Stratto,
    So where were you at 3:30, Mr "I'll be there at 3:30" ??? eh? EH!?!?!
    
    				Stretch. 

    >So where were you at 3:30, Mr "I'll be there at 3:30" ??? eh? EH!?!?!
    
    Interviewing potential candidates who wish to be my replacement. Which
    is considerably more important than listening to you babble on about
    not being a sheepshagger and cub scouts.
    
    Stuart

    We attended at the time *you* specified, muncehead !!! If you make
    plans and cannot keep them, well......... !
    
    
    			Stretch.

    Well, my apologies to you. I thought that you may actually have had a
    life and not been upset at only being able to talk to Mr Edwards and
    young 'Spike' FastshowRutherford. Obviously I was wrong.
    
    Stuart

    >>    Ian - You blue nosed lightweight! How does his inablity to walk
        prevent him from pushing a few buttons? You pointy headed cretin!!
    
    Oi !!!
    
    
    	How the B*ll*cks is he going to get to the F***ing machine you
    mardy b*st*rd !!
    
    
    			T***ER !!!
    
    
    	Ian.

    Ian,
    Trying to wear your asterix button out??? 
    
    If you had a couple of braincells at your disposal a solution would not
    be that hard to formulate! Sadly Pat is on his own on this one isn't 	
    he ?!?!?
    
    
        			Stretch.

    Asterisk BTW

    >Trying to wear your asterix button out???
    
    I'm surprised you've got the gaul to mention that...
    
    >Sadly Pat is on his own on this one isn't he ?!?!?
    
    Well, he certainly hasn't got you for company has he?
    
    Stuart

    My mistake!

    It looks like the itinerary for tonight is as follows ...
    
    5:30 - Three Guineas for cooked breakfast and a couple of pints of HSB.
    6:00 - Pop over to the Firkin pub until about 7:30.
    7:30 - Decide if we're in a fit enough state to walk back to the Three
    Guineas to watch the game, or whether we should send Rick over at 15
    minute intervals to find out the score.
    
    After that, who knows .......... 

    Dave, let me get this straight. You start bevvying @5.30 and you reckon
    you might not be in a fit enough state to walk back the the Guineas to
    watch the match @7.30????
    
    ....just as I thought, Southern lightweights. HSB is a woman's drink as
    well....
    
    Ray....

    Ray,
    
    Might be worth pointing out to you that the Firkin has started a new
    brew called the Oblivion Express (6% !) - effect unknown.  I'm just
    covering all possibilties.
    
    >HSB is a woman's drink
    
    Agreed - we're only using it to wash down the bacon and eggs.
    
    
                              

    Ray,
    
    We're only starting at 5.30 'cos Edwards is such a lightweight that he
    can't leave work any earlier...
    
    Stuart