Conference trucks::football;1

    Thanks Andy.  I'm not sure about tickets myself but something was
    happening with Villa fans on Saturday in Birmingham.  They've crept out
    of the woodwork.  Wembley flags and scarves are for sale as is the
    semi-final video!!!  I'm sure thousands of people will be rushing for
    that.  
    
    Are you a Villa member???  If you were then I'd imagine that it
    wouldn't be too hard to get tickets.  You'd properly have to go to
    Villa Park and queue for your tickets though.  Failing that ticket
    touts are always about at Wembley.  Tickets would be (I guess) about
    100-200 pounds.  
    
    If you need directions to Wembley then give me a shout...  I'm sure
    most Villa fans don't know where it is.   
    
    
    /GAry

    
    Drink lots of cans of coke and you might win a ticket.
    
    
    
    As you've guessed, I'm bored, thought I'd stick something stupid in.
    It's true though, apparently you can win a ticket by purchasing cans
    of coke.
    
    Se�n

    Suppose drinking all that coke and watching your teeth drop out will
    save you the pain of getting them punched out in a fight before the match. 
    
    :->>
    
    Rick.

    re -1
    
    >Suppose drinking all that coke and watching your teeth drop out will
    >save you the pain of getting them punched out in a fight before the match. 
    
    I work with Andy and he wears glasses. Surely all the Mancunians, er
    sorry, ManU supporters, are honourable gentlemen who wouldn't hit a man
    with glasses??
    
    Paul.
    

    Haven't you noticed that he's got no teeth at the moment... I think he
    ran into some Leeds Supporters around DP one time.. ;->>
    
    	Rick.

    Hi peeps,
    
    Rick the teeth are my own. The only Leeds supporters I meet, are so
    ashamed to admit it that they cower at the very mention of Villa *8-)
    
    Gary, do youknow where Wembly is.  I thought that you were a 
    WBA fan who only knew the way north *8-)) <- still wearing glasses
    
    Seriously, the way thins are going I'll watch England at Wembly,
    remember the atmosphere and watch Villa a home.
    
    By the way, if you want to see me suffer LIVE, and I don't get a ticket
    then reasonable numbers will be accetable for my lounge floor (that
    is provided you won't be supporting ManU, as direct assualts are
    unwanted)
    
    Bye for now
    
    AndyH

    Re 6
    
    Andrew,
    
    For your information West Brom played at Wembley in 1993 in the
    play-off Final winning 3-0.  
    
    Birmingham were also their a couple of years back beating Tranmere 3-2 in 
    the Leyland Daf.
    
    Wolves won the Sherpa Van trophy a few years back beating Burnley 2-0.  
    Villa haven't been their since the Charity Shield in about 81 (I think).  
    Sort of proves who the least successful Midland side is.
    
    
    /GAry    
    

    
    Gary,
    
    	am I right in saying that the playoff you are refering to was
    for promotion out off the 2nd (ie. the 3rd as was) division. You may be
    right about Villa not have been to Wembley recently, but then again
    they haven't been in the 3rd division for a considerably longer time
    (if ever? Mike?).
    
    	Its a bit like comparing a Capri with a Fiat Panda; most people
    would take the Capri any day........but its leagues apart when compared
    with a Porsche!
    
    8-)
    
    JBG

    Jon,
    
    Are you calling Gary a Panda ?
    
    Jerry.

    RE 8
    
    JBG,
    
    Do you always have to stick up for the Villa???
    
    
    
    /GAry

    
    Gary,
    
    	I wasn't "sticking up for Villa". I was simply pointing out that
    your prattling on about who is the best team in the midlands is not
    based on supportable facts. I used to like WBA (nice stripey shirts
    with a green crest and that clever Cyril Regis). I'm looking forward
    to a cracking Coke Cup Final between two Premier clubs.
    
    JBG 

    Re 11
    
    >>>I was simply pointing out that your prattling on about who is the
    >>>best team in the midlands is not based on supportable facts.
    
    Does this mean your comparing me to Cunno???
    
    
    
    /GAry

    
    	Villa *have* been in the 3rd div. (in old money). I remember
    	seeing them beat Reading 5-3 at Elm Park in 1960-<cough!> soon
    	after moving to Reading.
    
    	I think...
    
    	Andy.

Jon,

I've had this discussion with /GAry before. Unfortunately, everyone's favourite
Baggie seems to be a fairly infrequent visitor to reality ranch. Consequently,
he won't accept that winning the second division playoff final, and thereby
proving yourself to be the third best team in the second division, isn't as good
as being the second best team in the Premier League.

Oh well. Such is life, I suppose. 8-)

Mike

    
    Re .13
    
    	so Andy, you're saying that Villa were in the 3rd division..... but
    before most of us were born, right? 8-)
    
    JBG

    Mike,
    
    We've been through all this before and once again i'm forced to print
    my statistics for your information...
    
    
    HOW MANY CURRENT MANAGERS HAVE LED A TEAM TO AN EUROPEAN TROPHY
    SUCCESS???
    
    Albion                       Villa 
    ------                       -----
    1 - Keith Burkenshaw           0
    
    
    HOW MANY EX-PLAYERS HAVE SCORED A HAT-TRICK IN THE WORLD CUP FINAL???
    
    Albion                       Villa
    ------                       -----
    1 - Geoff Hirst                0
    
    
    HOW MANY FORMER PLAYERS ARE THE SECOND MOST PROLIFIC GOALSCORERS IN THE
    HISTORY OF NORTHERN IRELAND???
    
    Albion                       Villa
    ------                       -----
    1 - Gerry Armstrong            0
    
    
    
    Mike, these facts don't lie.  Also Albion are the better supported of
    the two clubs.  Villa took just 1,000 to Tottenham and that a couple of
    days after reaching the Coca-Cola Cup Final.  Albion on the other hand
    take 3,000 - 3,500 fans away each week.  Also consider the fact that
    away record is bad.  Before the win at Watford, Albion had won 1 game
    away from home.  
    
    
    /GAry

    Tut, tut, Gary,
    
    There you go again, overlooking some of the facts that are vital to
    this discussion. I accept that your facts speak for themselves, but
    when you look at the following I'm sure you'll agree that it
    conclusively proves that Villa are the better of the two sides.
    
    1.  Which of these two teams features a player who has scored in a
    senior competitive international match for the Rep. of Ireland in the
    past three years ?
    
    	->  Villa    (Andy Townsend)
    
    
    2. Which of these two teams features a central defender who has played
    both in defence and midifeld for the Republic of Ireland, and has bad
    knees ?
    
    	->  Villa    (Paul McGrath)
    
    
    3. If you give each letter of the alphabet a value corresponding to
    it's position in the alphabet (a=1, b=2, c=3, ..., z=26), which of
    these two teams name yields a sum, when all letter values are added
    together, which is a multiple of 5 ?
    
    	_> Aston Villa   (125)
    
    	N.B. If you take the sum for W.B.A. (188) you can use it to spell
    	out "Villa Are The Greates" !!! 
    
    
    
    There you go Gary, I'm sure even you will admit that this provides
    incontrovertable evidence that Aston Villa are, in fact, almost as good
    as WBA ;-)
    
    
    Yours statistically,
    
    Jerry.

    Re 17
    
    Nice facts Jerry.  I'm impressed.  :-))  However, I do believe that
    scoring a hat-trick in a World Cup Final is a little better than
    scoring for a little nation such as Ireland :-).  Geoff Hirst is a
    better player than Townsend:-))  
    
    Also who was the last club to get to Wembley and win???  The answer is
    WBA...
    
    So that proves it,
    
    
    /GAry

             <<< Note 356.18 by SUBURB::WAITEG "WHO ARE YER???" >>>



 Call me old fashioned but didn't Geoff "Hirst" play for West Ham?

 Stuart

    He played for both Stu...
    
    
    
    /GAry

    I think you guys should replace Stato on the FFL TV prog.
    
    Rick.

    
    Wow..... sorry Gary, I've been misjudging you all along. You really do
    know what you're talking about. I mean, all those facts just go to
    prove that WBA really are the greatest. They really ought to be in the
    Premier though. I suppose they're just giving the other teams a bit of
    a chance. Watch out MU - the baggies are gonna get you (if they ever
    get promoted again) 8-)
    
    JBG

    Re 22
    
    I'll bet 50 quid with anyone that in the next ten years, West Brom will
    be playing in the Champions League, Cup Winners Cup or the Uefa Cup. 
    Europe watch out...  Bob Taylor is coming to nab yer...
    
    
    /Gary

    Nice try Gary,
    
    Unfortunately I can't take you up on that bet. You see, I read that
    article in last week's paper about the new Champions League. 
    Apparently, plans are afoot to rename the Third Division after Bob 
    Champion, the former jockey. So there's no way that I'm going to bet
    against WBA being relegated to the third within ten years ;-)
    
    Jerry.

    
    But Gary, they're the greatest. Surely they're going to get into Europe
    sooner than that. Put your money where your mouth is man......
    
    JBG

    Ref -1
    
    My word, I am looking forward to seeing this super team in waiting at
    Selhurst on Saturday - what was the score last time 4-1?
    
    Paul

    
    If anyone wants to take up the bet, I'll hold the wager.
    
    Tony
    
    

    Re Mr Goode,
    
    Obviously it'll take time for Albion to build the squad up.  Also with
    the ground improvements underway the lack of atmosphere is upsetting
    the players.  Once the all-seated 42,000 ground is complete then please
    sit back and watch the team get promoted.
    
    Re 26
    
    Ahh but Paul.  The Albion has improved since those days.  
    
         
    
    /GAry

    
    Gary Waite...
    
    A question for you, and I'm not trying to do you up or anything but who
    do you actually support...?
    
    Dave...

    Dave,
    
    Please read 10.175  
    
    
    
    /GAry

    Re 31
    
    Back to the subject,  does anyone fancy the bet???  
    
    50 pounds that in ten years West Brom will be Premier League
    Champions...
    
    
    /GAry

    Improved so much you are languishing at the bottom of the table while
    the FEs are top and have been in the top 6 (that is th play off places
    for supporters of no-hopers by the way) since 28th August after our 4th
    game?
    
    I'm sure Mr Panes will remind me but I think the Palace players (two of
    whom are in the Wales squad, 1 of whom was on standby for the England
    U21's and 3 others of whom have full international caps for England)
    might be after a bit of revenge after your "manager" desbribed us as a
    bunch of atheletes rather than footballers.
    
    I also look forward to your claimed 3-4000 fans, if this is the case
    Selhurst will see its highest first division gate of the season since
    we made 17k on Saturday for Bolton with well under 1000 Boltonian pie
    munchers!
    
    Paul

    Re 32
    
    I might have gone a tiny winy bit over the top about how great the side
    is but make no mistake about the travelling army of supporters.  At
    Watford a good 3,000 - 3,500 made the journey and this was with the
    joint worst away record in the country.  Now that the last two away
    games have been won (Watford and Wolves), i've every confidance that a
    play-off place isn't out of the question.  (So i'm going over the top
    again).  
    
    As for Palace players being athletic stars i think thats a bit of a
    stupid thing to say considering they had just walloped Albion 4-1.
    
    Good luck in the Premier, 
    
    /Gary

    
    
    3 - 3,500 fans at an away game.
    
    3 - 3,500 fans at a home game .
    
    a new 42000 seater stadium - thats  14000 seats each. 
    
    
    
    Ive only one word to say to Gary and the great West Brom......
    
    
    
    WOKING !.
    
    

    Re 34
    
    Woking...
    
    Erm... thanks for that.  
    
    Actually I was going to enter something that happened at an FA Cup
    match between Kiddersminster and Woking.  Kiddersminster get all sorts
    watch them (Birmingham, Wolves, WBA etc...) when a few Wolves fans
    started singing "We hate ALbion" etc... However a reponse was heard
    from the Woking supporters singing "Stevie Bull's a tatter".  
    
    Well done to those...
    
    /Gary
                         

    
    
    Gary - 
    
     I was there. Never heard them sing it but ......
    
    
    
    What is a tatter.
    
    
    
     Gazzer

    Hi peeps
    
    Does this mean I get my tickets or what ??
    
    AndyH - originator of all good Gary vs The World notes
    

    Re 36
    
    Can't say what a tatter is in this conferance....
    
    I can also reveal that I went to watch my mate play for Wokingham Town
    against Woking.  It was a reserve match.  Woking won 1-0 and I got
    talking to some Woking fans.  Good people apart from one of the players
    who got a bit aggro.  
    
    Rueban Agboola (SP???) plays for yer, doesn't he???
    
    
    /GAry
                                                       

>>    Can't say what a tatter is in this conferance....
    
    
    Forgive my ignorance but who is Stevie Bull ???

    
    
    Good 'ol Rueben ''Aggy aggy Aggro'' Agboola.
    
    ex Southampton etc....
    
    Nah never 'eard of 'im ;-)
    
    ....
    
    
    As for Tatter...  I class my self as the lowest most disgusting type of
    pervert that there is an If I don't know whattit means I can't believe
    Wokings army of kids will know it either....  But I want to learn it so
    mail it offline !.
    
    
    Gazzer

    
    
    re .39
    
    
    Stevie Bull - 
    
    well its obvious innit.  --
    
    He's a tatter !.
    
    
    Gazzer

    So, I guess that brings us back to this:
    
    
    
	What is a tatter ??

    Someone who tats.. :->
    
    Rick.

    re   -< What is a tatter ?? >-
    
    In the words of the fair Waynetta Slob.....
    
    B..B..B..B..Batato !
    
    Paul.
    
    

    Facts after investigation...
    
    WBA will never make it to the Champions League, because, starting soon,
    only countries with a high UEFA rating will have a shot at it.
    Italy, Spain, Germany .... France (guess there has to be someone to
    laugh at in the gang)
    
    "Lesser" nations like Montenegro, Kazakstan, Vatican and Englnad will
    automatically be relegated to UEFA cup
    
    Pass the #50  :-) :-)
    
    Eric

    Re 45
    
    I would answer that in WAITEG style but at the moment i'm a little
    upset by the lies printed in the TODAY newspaper about Axl Rose wife
    beating.
    
    Its not true...
    
    
    /GAry

    
    Re .-1
    
    does Mr Rose play for WBA?? 8-)
    
    JBG

>>    I would answer that in WAITEG style but at the moment i'm a little
>>    upset by the lies printed in the TODAY newspaper about Axl Rose wife
>>    beating.
    
    
    Actually,  I couldn't care less about it, but is it the girl that had the 
    bride part in the 'November Rain' video ??? 
    
    Eric

    Re 47
    
    JBG,
    
    Now is not the time to be joking.  Axl's good name could go down the
    drain.  Here's hoping Axl gets his name clear.
    
    
    /GAry

    Re 48
    
    No, they never married.  He just dated her.  
    
    
    
    /GAry

    Re .50
    
    Perhaps that's why his wife started beating him ;-)

    Re 51
    
    Actually Jerry,
    
    Axl split with his wife before dating the beautiful Stephanie Seymour. 
    The Song "You Could be Mine" was dedicated to her..  Here is a few
    lines from the song.
    
    "You could be mine,
     But your way out of line,
     With you bitch slap rapping,
     And your cocaine toungue,
     You get nothing done"
    
    She is now saying that he slapped, punched, kicked and spat on her
    during their marriage.  This is very upsetting to a fan like my good
    self so I hope you understand if I'm not myself for a few days.
    
    Thanks all, 
    
    /GAry

    
    Ah, I get it, Axl's a not a WBA player, he's a WBA fan! 8-)
    
    JBG
    
    Ps. has the guy who wanted cup final tickets found any yet? If he has,
    we may as well change the title of this note.....

    Re .52
    
    Gary, 
    
    I'ld really appreciate it if you could give me a ring on 761 - 4745  
    and sing a few bars of the song you mentioned. I probably still won't
    recognise it, but it would help to pass the afternoon ;-)
    
    Re: Jon, please try to show a little more sensitivity. Gary has
    suffered a double blow in the last few days. First, he was forced to
    publicly acknowledge the fact that his team are unlikely to go anywhere
    in the next ten years, and now on top of that, you're accusing his
    favourite pop-star of being a WBA fan !!!  I'm beginning to think that
    poor old Rich Harris was right about you Welsh thugs. Your just being
    mean to Gary cos he's English ;-)
    
    
    Chin up Gary, some of us care,
    
    Jerry.  

    Thanks Jerry.  Its good to know that you care.  However I still think
    WBA will be in Europe within the next 10 years...
    
    
    /GAry

    no tickets yet.
    
    and Axle Rose is no flower.
    
    Lock him up, him and Tyson will love it together.  You can take the hard
    man of rock image too far.
    
    May Guns and Poses never sing again, after all wasn't it them that
    released the Charles Manson song, yet another public opinion pleaser.
    
    AndyH
    
    ( So the hard man of football does have a weakness !!)
                                                                

    Re 56
    
    You sick man, Andy.  Take that back... 
    
    The Charles Manson song was a lovely number.  Very touching and all. 
    If you want a copy give me a shout...
    
    Hugs,
    
    /GAry
                                               

    Hugs,
    
    Gary you really are sickening for someting.
    
    Ok, you're right, nobody deserves to be loced up with Tyson, let Tyson
    out.
    
    No hugs,
    
    AndyH

    Re  58
    
    
    You've lost it, Andy.  I'm sorry to say that but its true.  Maybe you
    and Mike Fowler should take the place of Axl and Tyson.
    
    
    
    /GAry

    
    Andy, get in touch with the sensitive side of your personality. Come on
    you guys, lets have you two having a big hug.
    
    Tony
    
    

>>>>>
You've lost it, Andy.  I'm sorry to say that but its true.  Maybe you
    and Mike Fowler should take the place of Axl and Tyson.
>>>>>

Me and Andy take the place of your heroes?

I'm flattered. I'll give you a signed photo for a fiver.

Mike

    Re 61
    
    Thats a deal then...  Also Mike Tyson is no hero of mine.  He should be
    locked up forever.
    
    I'll bring the fiver round tomorrow...
    
    /GAry

Couldn't you post it instead?

Mike

    Re 63
    
    Will do....
    
    
    /GAry

    re : .61
    
    Andy lost it years ago.. :->
    
    Rick.

>>    She is now saying that he slapped, punched, kicked and spat on her
>>    during their marriage.  This is very upsetting to a fan like my good
>>    self so I hope you understand if I'm not myself for a few days.
    
	Don't cry, Gary,
    	There's a heaven above you...
    
    	(Where did I heard this before...)
    
    	Eric

    Re 66
    
    Great stuff Eric.....
    
    Anyway no danger of me crying.  I had a good night last night.  I
    trained with Wokingham Town FC.  Petty they train on artifical.  My
    legs were cut to pieces...
    
    
    /GAry