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Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:The Joy of Lex
Notice:A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:THEBAY::SYSTEM
Created:Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1192
Total number of notes:42769

782.0. "HRH Strikes Again!" by SHALOT::ANDERSON (Give me a U, give me a T) Wed Feb 28 1990 14:50

	Since 757 got a bit off track, I thought I'd start a new note
	for what I'll call "Prince Charlesisms" -- i.e., renderings of
	classics of English literature in modern vernacular.  The 
	following are from Punch.  See if you can guess the originals.
	Win free prizes.  

	Yours, humor-wise,

		-- Cliff



	o  It stands to reason.  If a bloke's got a few bob and he's	
	still not hitched, he's bound to be wanting a missus.

	o  At this moment in time, the cold front which has been 
	causing stress and depression is giving way to prolonged sunny
	spells thanks to Prince Andrew's favorite newspaper.

	o  Was anyone naffed off?  The squadies were clued up, some
	berk had cocked it.  Wasn't down to them to argue.  They 
	couldn't be bothered to work it out.  They just had to go on
	with the job and snuff it.  They went down the Valley on their
	bikes.  About 600 of 'em.

	o  The project began as an essentially ground-up construction.
	It was a greenfield site and visibility was far from satis-
	factory, as a result of which a number of memos were sent down
	from the top floor.  The Chairman wanted instant action on the
	lighting front and he got it.

	o  The acquisition of single-parent family status, Mr. Worthing,
	may categorize you as a deprived child; complete de-parentage
	appears to constitute wilful self-neglect.

	o  Globally-speaking, we're in a theatre situation.

	o  If you make a pony every year and you spend twenty-four, 
	ninety-five pee, you're well chuffed.  But if you make a pony
	and you spend pony-and-a-half, you're gutted.

	o  I walked about a bit on my own.  Then I went to the garden
	centre.
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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782.1MINAR::BISHOPWed Feb 28 1990 16:5150
    These are pretty easy.
    
	o  It stands to reason.  If a bloke's got a few bob and he's	
	still not hitched, he's bound to be wanting a missus.
    
    	Jane Austen, _Pride_and_Prejudice_

	o  At this moment in time, the cold front which has been 
	causing stress and depression is giving way to prolonged sunny
	spells thanks to Prince Andrew's favorite newspaper.
    
    	"Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer
    	by this son of York...", _Richard_III_, Shakespeare.

	o  Was anyone naffed off?  The squadies were clued up, some
	berk had cocked it.  Wasn't down to them to argue.  They 
	couldn't be bothered to work it out.  They just had to go on
	with the job and snuff it.  They went down the Valley on their
	bikes.  About 600 of 'em.
    
    	_Charge_of_the_Light_Brigade_, Afred Lord Tennyson (I believe).

	o  The project began as an essentially ground-up construction.
	It was a greenfield site and visibility was far from satis-
	factory, as a result of which a number of memos were sent down
	from the top floor.  The Chairman wanted instant action on the
	lighting front and he got it.
    
    	"In the begining the earth was without form and void, and darkness
    	moved upon the face of the waters..." _Gensis_

	o  The acquisition of single-parent family status, Mr. Worthing,
	may categorize you as a deprived child; complete de-parentage
	appears to constitute wilful self-neglect.
    
    	_The_Importance_of_being_Ernest_, Oscar Wilde

	o  Globally-speaking, we're in a theatre situation.
    
    	"All the world's a stage...", _The_Tempest_, Shakespeare

	o  If you make a pony every year and you spend twenty-four, 
	ninety-five pee, you're well chuffed.  But if you make a pony
	and you spend pony-and-a-half, you're gutted.
    
    	"Income twenty five pounds, expenditures..result happiness..."
    	Charles Dickens (is this _David_Copperfield_?  Mr. Pickwick,
    	anyway)

    			-John Bishop
782.2Pickwickian NitpickSSDEVO::HUGHESDoin' the Shift-Click Drag ....Wed Feb 28 1990 19:3011
    Re .1:
    
>   	"Income twenty five pounds, expenditures..result happiness..."
>   	Charles Dickens (is this _David_Copperfield_?  Mr. Pickwick,
>   	anyway)
    
    Yes and no.  
    
    Not Pickwick Papers / Mr. Pickwick .... David Copperfield / Mr. Micawber.
    
    Jim
782.3And the Answers Are ...SHALOT::ANDERSONGive me a U, give me a TThu Mar 01 1990 14:3174
	Very good, .1.  Here are the complete answers.

		-- Cliff



>	o  It stands to reason.  If a bloke's got a few bob and he's	
>	still not hitched, he's bound to be wanting a missus.

	It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in
	possesion of a fortune must be in want of a wife.
		-- Pride and Prejudice

>	o  At this moment in time, the cold front which has been 
>	causing stress and depression is giving way to prolonged sunny
>	spells thanks to Prince Andrew's favorite newspaper.

	Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious by this
	sun of York.
		-- Richard III

>	o  Was anyone naffed off?  The squadies were clued up, some
>	berk had cocked it.  Wasn't down to them to argue.  They 
>	couldn't be bothered to work it out.  They just had to go on
>	with the job and snuff it.  They went down the Valley on their
>	bikes.  About 600 of 'em.

	Was there a man dismayed? / Not tho' the soldier knew / Some one
	had blundered: / Their's not to make reply, / Their's not to
	reason why, / Their's but to do or die: / Into the valley of
	Death / Rode the six hundred.
		-- The Charge of the Light Brigade

>	o  The project began as an essentially ground-up construction.
>	It was a greenfield site and visibility was far from satis-
>	factory, as a result of which a number of memos were sent down
>	from the top floor.  The Chairman wanted instant action on the
>	lighting front and he got it.

	In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.  And the
	earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face 
	of the deep.  And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the
	waters.  And God said, let there be light: and there was light.
		-- Genesis

>	o  The acquisition of single-parent family status, Mr. Worthing,
>	may categorize you as a deprived child; complete de-parentage
>	appears to constitute wilful self-neglect.

	To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a 
	misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
		-- The Importance of Being Earnest

>	o  Globally-speaking, we're in a theatre situation.

	All the world's a stage.
		-- As You Like It

>	o  If you make a pony every year and you spend twenty-four, 
>	ninety-five pee, you're well chuffed.  But if you make a pony
>	and you spend pony-and-a-half, you're gutted.

	Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen 
	nineteen six, result happiness.  Annual income twenty pounds,
	annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.
		-- David Copperfield

>	o  I walked about a bit on my own.  Then I went to the garden
>	centre.

	I wandered lonely as a cloud / That floats on high o'er vales
	and hills, / When all at once I saw a crowd, / A host of golden
	daffodils.
		-- Wordsworth		
782.4TKOV51::DIAMONDThis note is illegal tender.Wed Jul 04 1990 09:209
>>	o  At this moment in time, the cold front which has been 
>>	causing stress and depression is giving way to prolonged sunny
>>	spells thanks to Prince Andrew's favorite newspaper.
>
>	Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious by this
>	sun of York.
	---

	!!!    :-)