Conference thebay::joyoflex

    Re .0 (Johnson):
    
    >	"Include me out."
    
    This one was attributed to Samuel Goldwyn and was uttered before
    Yogi started to play ball.  (Another famous Goldwynism was "An oral
    contract is not worth the paper it's written on."  Yet another:
    "This is the story of a land where the hand of Man has not set foot.")
                                                             
    Yogi had some good ones.  One of my favorites was when a reporter
    said, "We heard you just bought a new house, Yogi."
    
    "I did."
    
    "What's it like?"
    
    "It's full of rooms," Yogi said.
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.

The waitress delivered the pizza he ordered and asked him if he wanted it cut
in six pieces or eight pieces.

"Six please.  I don't think I could eat eight."

My favorite Yogism was quoted in a pop-Zen book of a couple of years ago:
(I don't remember the book title.)

	Tom Seaver: Yogi, what time is it?

	Yogi: You mean right now?

Larry

    
    My Personal Name is a Yogism.  The way I heard it Yogi had been
    asked by a reporter what his thoughts were after the Yanks had suffered
    a string of losses, including that days game, and he replied,
    "its Deja Vu all over again."
    
    Another of my favorites is when Yogi was asked whether he liked
    a particularly popular restaurant near the Stadium, and he replied:
    "its so crowded, nobody goes there anymore."
    
    
    Then there was the time when a reporter asked Yogi what his thoughts
    were concerning a recent drop in attendance at the Stadium and he
    said: "If people dont want to come, you can't stop them."
    
    And of course there was that time when Yogi was asked what his thoughts
    were regarding a particularly close game, and he replied "it was
    a real cliffdweller!"

    
    
    Wonderful! Wonderful! Thanks much! Please keep 'em coming!
    For some reason I get the biggest boot out of Yogi.
    
    Thanks!

Yogi was a Yankee roommate of a fellow (can't remember his name) who was a
medical student while playing ball (the guy later became a doctor, and I
believe also became a league president).  They were both reading one evening;
Yogi was reading a comic book, while his roommate was reading Gray's Anatomy. 
Yogi finished his comic book, turned to his roommate, and asked, "How'd yours
end?"

						Brian

    
    
    Just thought of another...
    
    In a conversation Yogi was talking about a particular celebrity (can't
    remember who) and said "Very few people realize how well know he is."
    
    

Another classic is Ralph Kiner, who announces for the New York Mets baseball 
team.  This is extracted and edited from another notesfile, so my apologies 
for the random indentations, etc. , and if any of these aren't understandable 
because they deal with baseball jargon.

Clay

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    "All of Steve Bedrosian's saves have come during relief appearances." 

    
    Kiner's on-air buddy, Mets' broadcaster Tim McCarver, was talking
    about oft-injured Braves' reliever Bruce Sutter, who most likely
    will not be able to return from his latest injury.
    
    Kiner exclaimed, "He'll be out of action for the rest of his career."

    
Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen.


Johnny Grubb slides into second with a stand-up double.


It's off the leg and into left field of Doug Rader.


Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his
glove to it.  That play shows the inexperience, not on Thomas' 
part, but on the part of Willie McC... well,not on McCovey's part
either.


Grubb goes back, back... he's under the warning track, and he makes
the play.


They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.


The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field.  No,
wait a minute.  It's ball one, low & outside.


Jesus Alou is in the ondeck circus.


Mike Caldwell, the Padres right-handed southpaw, will pitch for San
Diego tonight.


The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston tonight.


You can't argue with umpires like Leo Durocher.


Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially 
in the National and American leagues.


The Cards lead the Dodgers, 4-2, after one inning and that one hasn't 
even started.


The final score after eight innings is Giants 3, Padres 2.


There is a paid crowd of 11,567 here to see the Pirates & the Bucs.


The Padres, after winning the 1st game of the doubleheader, are ahead 
here in the top of the fifth, 4-0, and are hoping for a split.


At the end of 6 innings of play, it's Montreal 5, the Expos 3.


Tony Taylor was one of the 1st acquisitions that the Phillies made 
when they reconstructed their team.  They acquired him from 
Philadelphia.


I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodger series.


National League umpires wear inside check protesters.


The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader.  That puts another 
keg in the Cubs' coffin.


Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Garry Matthews of the homers hit 
Braves in that game.


Gaylord Perry and Willie McCovey should know each other like a book.  
They've been ex-teammates for years now.


Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he is so 
unpredictable.


Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a 
lion.


The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit  until the 20th 
century.


For San Francisco, Marc Hill hit a home run and Bill Madlock hit a 
couple of pears.


There's 2 heads to every coin.  


Stay tuned for today's spring training opener against the Angels.  
This has been the Padres' post-game show.


Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and out-laws here this afternoon.


On the mound is Randy Jones, the left-hander with the Karl Marx 
hairdo.


If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans 
would be throwing babies out of the upper deck.


That's the 4th extra-base hit for the Padres - 2 doubles & a triple.


Montreal leads Atlanta by three, 5-1.


Last night's homer was Willie Stargell's 399th career home run, 
leaving him one shy of 500.  


Larry Moffet is 6-3, 190.  Last year he was 6-6.


That rbi gives Winfield 49, just one short of the century mark.


That's hendrick's 19th home run, one more and he hits double figures.


Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he 
speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?


From the way Denny's shaking his head, he's either got an injured 
shoulder or a gnat is in his eye.


Ozzie makes a leaping diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody 
drops everything.


There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured 
by his number.


Turner pulls into second with a sub-blown double.


Edwards missed getting Stearns at 3rd base by an eyeball.


All the Padress need is a fly ball in the air.


He hits a lopping line drive.


Davis fouls out to 3rd in fair teritory.


There's a shot up the alley.  Oh, it's just foul.


The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less 
than five.


Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.

    
    Tim McCarver served up the "How thin is he?" straight line.  And
    Kiner jumped right on it.
    
    "He's a shadow of himself," said our man Ralph.


    When Kiner reached the Braves-Phillies result, he found an "F" next to
    it.  To broadcasters who don't have Kiner's way with words, that means
    "final score."
    
    But here's how the great Mets voice interpreted it: "On the Nissan
    scoreboard, Atlanta trailing Philadelphia at the end of their
    ballgame."
    
    
    	"They have been thrown out only one less time," he said, "than the
    	last-place team has been thrown out the most."


    while paying tribute to a person who had died recently . . .        
    "And we'd like to say goodbye to John Doe, a good friend of
    a lot of people who died last week".

    
    Kiner on Wrigley Field during his playing days:  "I knew I was in
    for a good day if I got to the park and could smell the stockyards.
    That meant the wind was blowing out."

    
    "Howard Johnson had a two-out home run in the eighth," he said, "to tie
    the game in the fifth."


    Co-announcer "I know this sounds hard to believe, Ralph, but Kevin
    Elster's not playing tonight.  He injured himself watching
    *television*."
    
    Kiner: "He must have been watching wrestling."
    
    
    Ralph the historian reported that when Barry and Bobby
    Bonds broke the record for most homers by a father and son, "they
    surpassed the father-son tandem of Buddy Bell and Yogi Berra."
    

    Perhaps someone can provide more detail about this, most famous
    Yogiism of all...
    
    "It was like deja-vu all over again."
    
    Bill

    
    How about this:
    
    One day, Yogi came home to an empty house.  After a few hours, his wife
    returned with their son, Dale.
    
    Yogi: "Where have you guys been?"
    
    Wife: "I took Dale to see 'Dr. Zhivago'".
    
    Yogi: "What?  Is that kid sick again?"
    
    

    re: .9, see .4
    
    
    Kevin

    Re .11 (Kevin):
    
    >re: .9, see .4
    
    Redundancy proves the point.
    
    Or, "It seems like I saw this once before...."
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.

    i think i recall that there was a book published on Yogi (well
    representing Yogisms) within the last year or so.

"It was at [Toots] Shor's, after all, that someone introduced
Yogi Berra to Ernest Hemingway, 'an important writer.'  Berra, in
one of his Hall of Fame Yogiisms, said, 'Good to meet you. A
writer, huh.  What paper you with, Ernie?' "
			(from David Halberstram's _Summer of '49_)

And, according to my father the baseball fanatic, Yogi came out 
with this jewel when referring to right field of Yankee Stadium,
as the shadows lengthened in October: "It gets late early out
there this time of year."

-- Cathy

    I'm gonna blame Yogi for this one anyways....:-)
    
    Yogi and a friend were out walking in the countryside one day. A
    guy passes by in a car and honks at them(he recognizes Yogi).
    Yogi waves back to the driver and turning to his friend says...
    
    
    
    	"He knows me whoever I am!"
                                                                 
    - Dave K.

    
    Saw this one on a TV show a couple of nights ago...
    
    
    The Yanks were honoring Yogi by retiring his number before a game.
    Yogi stepped up to the microphones at home plate and said:
    
   " I would like to thank all those who made this day necessary."

    Wasn't he also the one who said, about an up and coming ballplayer:
    "His future is still ahead of him."
    
    

    and not to forget, of course:
    
            "It was like deja-vu all over again."