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Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:The Joy of Lex
Notice:A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:THEBAY::SYSTEM
Created:Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1192
Total number of notes:42769

678.0. "Not quite Sniglets." by COMET::GUALTIER (Diversified consolidations Inc.) Thu Jun 01 1989 14:13

       Hello there;
  
       This topic is  designed  to  promote the imaginative new definitions of
  fairly common words.  The rules are simple -
  
  
  1.) Take any word and make a new definition for it based on literal phonetic
      interpretation.  (Sounds like...Must mean.)

  2.) Unlike Sniglets, the words themselves must allready exist.
  
  3.) Reply with one or more definition, and please... break the rules.
  
  
      See the next reply for  several  examples of just what this implies.
  
        Go for it Willy!  ("ALF")
                             
                                - F.G. -
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
678.1Aunt Bea = A Hybrid insectCOMET::GUALTIERDiversified consolidations Inc.Thu Jun 01 1989 16:1620
       Between = The gradual seperation of baby beet from Mama beet.
  
       Mutiny = A belly button that cannot talk.
  
       Industrial =  Fishing  tackle designed  to  catch furniture polish.
  
       Terry cloth = A fabric that tears real easy.
  
       Pnuemonia = The updated version of Old Monia.
  
       Joyfully = Bruce Lee's happy brother.
  
       Concert = A breath mint for an inmate.
  
       Popcorn = Husband of Momcorn.
       
                 
            - F.G. -
  
678.2CONWR1FOR::ADELMAN_AAThe KJV Bible is the Word of GodThu Jun 01 1989 19:5113
    
    Connect = Hung Inmate
    
    Conscribe = Inmate Writing Home
    
    Confound = Captured Inmate
    
    Concave = Solitary Confinement
    
    Continual = Lifer

    Concourses = Rehabilitation
678.3�?EGAV01::DKEATINGWho framed Colin Wallace ?Thu Jun 01 1989 20:426
        Mattress = That which goes between a Master and his Mistress.

    	Coincide = What you should do when it starts pouring rain.
    
    	Pornography = Obscene records you play on a pornograph.
678.4ALXNDR::HOLLANDAsk for dopamine by nameThu Jun 01 1989 22:387
    Consequence = Line-up
    
    Departs = What de whole is de sum of
    
    Caterers = Hepburn fluffs her lines
    
    
678.5Another con...WLDWST::SUREThu Jun 01 1989 23:035
    
    Silicon = A dumb-witted inmate
    
    ;-)
    
678.6Help! I can't stop myself!COMET::GUALTIERDiversified consolidations Inc.Thu Jun 01 1989 23:419
       
       Trooper = The sound of an honest cat.
  
       Guilty = A hot beverage made from steeped fish.
  
  
  
                            - F.G. -
  
678.7ALXNDR::HOLLANDAsk for dopamine by nameFri Jun 02 1989 00:077
    Adversity = Jingle town
    
    Redundance =  Renaissance ball
    
    Guidance = Stag ball
    
    
678.8A One And A Two...WR1FOR::ADELMAN_AAThe KJV Bible is the Word of GodFri Jun 02 1989 02:281
    Literature = Trashy Music
678.9DOWN THE HIGHWAYWR1FOR::ADELMAN_AAThe KJV Bible is the Word of GodFri Jun 02 1989 03:071
    CONSTRUCT = TRANSPORTED INMATES
678.10:-)GAOV08::DKEATINGWho framed Colin Wallace ?Fri Jun 02 1989 12:402
    Ireland = A hostile country.
    
678.11things you find at a parasite:IOSG::LAWMMathew Law (only *one* T), Reading UKFri Jun 02 1989 12:5025
    
    paradox = sky-diving medical team
    
    parable = what parachutists talk in the club-house
    
    parachute = open season on sky-divers
    
    paradigm = a sky-diver's small change
    
    paradise = a game played by parachutists
    
    paraffin = a sky-diving diver
    
    paragon = euphemism for a parachutist whose chute failed to open
    
    parapet = small furry animal owned by sky-diver
    
    parasol = the spirit of parachuting
    
    
    ...and the list goes on!
    
    Mat.
    *:o)
    
678.12No I will.COMET::GUALTIERDiversified consolidations Inc.Fri Jun 02 1989 15:1221
       Toxic = Speach induced nausea.
  
       Gloomy = How I want to be stuck to the wall.
  
       Merchant = Ritualistic native song about aromatic gum resins.
                  --------------------------------------------------
                                       |
       Boomer = Bad crowd reaction to --
  
       Cauterize = Line read from Gabe Kaplins doner card.
  
       - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
  
                                (Rule break)
                                 ----------
  
       Remote control = Barely knowing what you're doing.
  
  
                           - F.G. -
678.13More ParaWR1FOR::ADELMAN_AAThe KJV Bible is the Word of GodFri Jun 02 1989 18:357
    Paralysis = Disease suffered by skydivers with faulty chutes
    
    Paramedic = Physicians called to the scene of fallen skydiver
    
    Paranoid = Fear of skydiving
    
    Paraplegic = Skydiving amputee
678.14CatWR1FOR::ADELMAN_AAThe KJV Bible is the Word of GodFri Jun 02 1989 18:595
    Catastrophe = Feline road pizza
    
    Cater = Asian Dinner
    
    Catapult = A cat on its way out of the house
678.15SHARE::SATOWFri Jun 02 1989 20:1915
Disaster:	What happenened when the woman backed into the 
		airplane propeller.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

re: .13

    
>    Paranoid = Fear of skydiving
    
Alternate definintion: Parachutist who wears plastic pocket protectors, wears 
black horn rimmed glasses, wears mismatched argyle socks, and writes MACRO 
code as a hobby.


678.16And Another..WR1FOR::ADELMAN_AAThe KJV Bible is the Word of GodFri Jun 02 1989 21:121
    Leprechaun = Diseased Inmate
678.17WR1FOR::ADELMAN_AAThe KJV Bible is the Word of GodFri Jun 02 1989 21:213
    Mickey Mouse = Chevrolet's Chief Mechanic
    
    
678.18KAOFS::S_BROOKHere today and here again tomorrowFri Jun 02 1989 21:3114
    programmer = one in favour of the cgs metric system
    
    (cgs=centimetre,gram,second as opposed to the now standard mks=metre,
    kilogram,second system)
    
    protester = one who tests something before it is finished
    
    protein = one who is not in favour of abolishing adolescence
    
    pro forma = the sadist who designs income tax and other forms
    
    promotor = one who has defied time by going before he left
    
    polly filla = do it yourself parrot food
678.19I did that once...all the timeCOMET::GUALTIERDiversified consolidations Inc.Fri Jun 02 1989 22:3016
       
       Blossom = The end result of a very boring equation.
  
       Possum = The end result of a very Fatherly equation.
  
       Pantry = A tall woody plant developed by Betty Crocker.
  
       Phantom = An antacid that doubles as a hand held cooling device.
  
       Custom = An antacid that makes one swear.
  
       Ferment = A hairy after-dinner breath freshning candy.
  
       Fester = "Owning up" while mixing what's in the kettle. (Think hard)
  
       Prologue = A piece of wood cut by an expert.
678.20LEZAH::BOBBITTseeking the balanceMon Jun 05 1989 04:352
    abominable = oh no!  Ferdinand swallowed a hand grenade!
    
678.21s'more...IOSG::LAWMMathew Law (only *one* T), Reading UKMon Jun 05 1989 12:189
    abundance = synonym for cakewalk
    
    decagon = Digital in shock take-over by I*M
    
    patron = congratulate Mr Reagan
    
    Mat.
    *:o)
    
678.22JOYOFLEX = HAPPY WIEGHTLIFTERWR1FOR::ADELMAN_AAThe KJV Bible is the Word of GodMon Jun 05 1989 23:261
    
678.23AND A FEW MORE..WR1FOR::ADELMAN_AAThe KJV Bible is the Word of GodTue Jun 06 1989 01:0218
    

    DELIGHTED = A DEAD FIREFLY
    
    CONCRETE = HARDENED CRIMINAL
    
    CONCUPISCENCE = INMATE REASONING
    
    CONFLICT = INMATE FIGHT
    
    CONGRESS = UNCAPTURED INMATES
    
    CONSCIENCE = STUDY OF INMATES
    
    CONSORT = INMATE HAIRSPRAY
     
    CONSTRICTOR = INMATE STRAIGHT JACKET
   
678.24COOKIE::DEVINEBob Devine, CXNSat Jun 17 1989 01:541
    unrelenting  -- (n) to refuse to fast again
678.25LEDS::HAMBLENProfessional procrastinatorMon Jun 19 1989 19:023
    tantamount  --  (1) an allowance from dad's sister
		    (2) auntie's horse
678.26Yet anotherPRGMUM::FRIDAYPatience averts the severe decreeWed Jun 28 1989 23:541
    Situation -- A bigot offering someone from China or Japan a chair
678.27CNTROL::HENRIKSONSomeGuysGetAllTheAdjectivesThu Jun 29 1989 06:178
>    Situation -- A bigot offering someone from China or Japan a chair

and in the same vein;

Fluctuations -- a curse to orientals (Oh, yeah! Fluck you Americans too!)

Pete
678.28FDCV06::CALLAHANJoe Callahan, US Telcom, 223-2768Wed Jul 05 1989 19:588
    microwave - greeting between small computers

    parking - average male monarch
    
    thinking - a skinny one
    
    
    Joe
678.296 of one, 1/2 dozen of the other!BOXTOP::OLOUGHLINWed Sep 13 1989 22:5612
    
    Sinking - paramount transgressor
    
    Contraction - orthopedic therapy for inmates
    
    Tumor - an extra pair
    
    Urine - opposite of "You're out"
    
    Dilate - to live longer
    
    Barium - what to do when CPR fails
678.30CNTROL::HENRIKSONIsSamDonaldsonSpock'sBrotherHeNeverTalksAbout?Fri Sep 15 1989 02:502
European - what you're doing at the urinal
678.31outhouse punsGRNDAD::STONERoyFri Sep 15 1989 23:4113
    
    >  European - what you're doing at the urinal
    
    Finnish - what you are when you walk away from it
    
    Russian - what you were before you got to it
    
    
    
    Reminds me of the cartoon showing four men lined up outside the men's
    room.  
    
    The caption..."The only time when a full house beats four of a kind."
678.32COOKIE::DEVINEBob Devine, CXNFri Oct 13 1989 19:443
    inkling - the misunderstand that arises when there
              has been insufficient detail given
              (ie not enough ink was used to describe something)