Conference thebay::joyoflex

581.0. "a liberal lament - laugh with me" by NYSSA::BIELSKI (Let's Digitize...) Thu Nov 03 1988 10:43

I have always rasped at not being able to accept literal speech -
"free" offers, "its in the mail" put offs, and many others still
raise primordial urges as often as not.

I've been ignoring the "L" word as hard as I could because I applied
the standard discount to one more political uttering.

Then I read the 11/2 Boston Globe, and thought a bit, and went into
a little flight of fancy.

enjoy

						November 2, 1988

I couldn't raise anyone else on this radio, Mrs. O'Lantern, good of you 
to answer my distress call. I'm a-runnin' outa fuel up here, overshot 
Chicago a while back have no idea where the crosswinds have blowed me.  
Don't matter, I'll be dry soon anyway.  Not too many lights down there 
this time of night, either.  Oh well.

I had to have a last word with somebody - if I could have a final wish I'd 
really like to acknowledge to everyone, every 250 million of them, that I 
owe Mr. Bush an apology.  I didn't like him much before, what with already 
knowing he's no educator or environmentalist.  Now I think he's done me a big 
favor, identity-wise, and I'm big enough to own up.

I just wisht that I had been following the campaign more closely, instead of 
trying to stay up here in the sky above all that junk.  I almost missed 
something important to me, because all the "liberal" namecalling didn't tell 
me anything useful, so I barely lissened.

I finally saw the Boston Globe today and Mr. Wilson, on page 19, made me feel 
so ashamed for not using my dictionary myself.  He says that liberal means 
generous, bountiful, warmhearted, not bounded by established forms in political
or religious philosophy, broadminded.

Leftover Halloween horrors, I think I are one.  Now that my time may be at hand,
who should I confess to?  How can I get help to regress this late in my life?  
Is it better to just seek remote absolution and extreme unction and call it 
quits?  or if I walk away from the crash that's a-comin', maybe jump in the 
closet if Mr. Bush is elected?  Have they found a way to do an attitude 
transplant yet?

Where would I turn if anybody found out?  They gonna make me wear a big "L" on 
my arm, like the Jews were once tatooed in Germany?  What if my family found 
out, would I get sent to Poland and have to start out for Amerika all over 
again like my grandparents did?

I would, too, and proudly.  And I'd bring back some of those Solidarity boys 
and use them to have the Republicans keep on calling me a liberal until their 
tonsils fell out of their souls.  My parents taught me that I could get into 
trouble using words I didn't understand.  I'm sure glad Mr. Wilson set me 
straight.  If there's a next time for me, I'll look it up myself.  Maybe you 
could remind other folks to be more careful after I'm gone, and next time 
decide on the basis of their own dictionaries.  

Gosh, next thing you know, it won't be so bad being an invalid who went through 
a depressive period and got professional help.  Uh, I'm one of them, too.  
Izzn't that called double indemnity, or somethin' like that?

Well, better light up all the little O'Lanterns now, Mrs., I'm coming in for 
the one and only landing I'll be allowed to try.  And kiss Jack for me if I 
get crashed on the way in, at least I'm a-goin' knowin' who I am, which is 
more than I can say for most of the folks who have dictionaries but didn't 
use them.

Oh, yeah, the apology.  Please tell Mr. Bush I'm sorry I misunderstood him 
when I shoulda been proud at the names he was calling us.  Sure wisht he was 
here with me now, so I could look him in the eye, and say "Sorry, George", 
man to man.

Sayonara


Stan Bielski, "Liberal & Proud"
Acton, Massachusetts