Conference thebay::joyoflex

526.0. "Dead-headin' on a Zulu outfit" by ERIS::CALLAS (Mr. Tamzen) Wed Jun 01 1988 23:26

Date: Fri, 27 May 88 10:01 EDT
From: Kristofer T. Karas <[email protected]>
Subject: Jargon, anybody?  [Excerpt from railroad-local]
To: [email protected]
 
I leave this for your savage amusement without further comment:
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Date: 20 May 88 15:01:45 GMT
From: [email protected] (Greg Ramsey)
To: Railroad Discussion List <RAILROAD%[email protected]>
Subject: PROTOTYPE, humorous story
 
          The Following was submitted by George Bates in the May 1988 issue
          of the Los Angeles Live Steamers.
 
 
 
                            THE TESTIMONY OF BOOMER BILL
 
 
               There had been a railroad accident in which  several  people
          were  injured.    Some  lawsuits resulted and in the trial of the
          first case,  the attorney for the  defense  had  as  one  of  his
          principal  witnesses  an  old "boomer" brakeman.   After properly
          identifying him and establishing his status  as  a  witness,  the
          attorney  said:  "Now Bill,  I want you to tell this jury all you
          know about this alleged accident.   Where you were  and  why  you
          were there;  where the other members of your train crew were, and
          what they were doing,  where the train was located and all  other
          facts and circumstances in connection with the affair.  Just turn
          right  to  the  jury  and  tell  them the whole story in your own
          words."
 
               Bill was rather embarrassed and  looked  doubtingly  at  the
          Judge,  who nodded to him and indicated he should proceed.   Bill
          switched his quid over into the other jaw,  turned to  the  jury,
          and told this story:
 
               "We  was  heading'  south with 456 - 32 loads and 10 empties
          and we had a meet order with 2 for 149 at  4:15.    There  was  a
          dynamiter  in  drag  and  it looked like we was goin' to stab 149
          about 15 but the bronco quit buckin' and the hogger wheeled them,
          so we got to 149 at 4:10.   We went in on the  cold  end  of  the
          passin'  track  and  closed  the gate,  drifted down to about ten
          lengths from the south target  and  grounded  the  kettle.    The
          hoghead  got  down and went greasin' her ankles and the tallowpot
          was in the cab hustlin' diamonds.   Cap was back in  the  crummie
          shufflin'  tissues and the hind-shack was in the doghouse bullin'
          a Yahoo that was dead-headin' on  a  Zulu  outfit.    Me,  I  was
          sittin'  on the pilot waitin' to twist the monkey's tail and head
          out on the main when 2 cleared.
 
               I seen her comin' through the cut and she was workin'  steam
          and puttin' up a feather.   Hogger cut off at the limit board and
          she come in greasin' at about 25.   When she passed  the  target,
          the ponies split the switch and the took the siding.   The hogger
          big-holed her but she jumped the rabbit and took the country.
 
               I seen a smash was comin' and joined the bird gang.   I  hit
          the  cinders  yellin' "Spread yer wings,  fellers." and when they
          came together,  I was on the other side of  the  main  scratchin'
          gravel.    I dodged into the palace and told the brass pounder to
          tickle the Supe and tell him we had two on one spot and there was
          Hell to pay."
 
          _________________________________________________________________
 
          The above is an actual account of testimony from a trial  handled
          on behalf of the AT&SF by Attorney Luther Hudson.
 
        Greg