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Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:The Joy of Lex
Notice:A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:THEBAY::SYSTEM
Created:Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1192
Total number of notes:42769

522.0. "Historical note" by HERON::BUCHANAN (a man, a plan, a canal: Suez) Mon May 23 1988 18:15

	In the renaissance, when new continents were busy being discovered by
Europeans left right and centre, there were a large number of compass
manufacturers about.   Now this was in the days before ISO and IEEE etc, and
there wasn't much standardization around.   Some of these manufacturers had
their arrows pointing due North, some manufacturers chose to point South, some 
chose East, some WSW, etc, and this led to a great deal of confusion.

	So eventually Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain called together all the
compass manufacturers of Europe and told them to agree on some standard.   This
they did, and they eventually chose the average, which was quite close to due
North.   It's due to this compromise that the needle doesn't point *due* North,
incidentally, but is offset to what's now called Magnetic North, after the 
explorer Magellan.   Not a lot of people know that.

	Anyway, there was one company which *didn't* go along with the standard.
The old English firm of Josiah and Adam Tates was having no truck with 
continental foolery.   Tates decided to continue the way it had for centuries, 
and all its compass needles would continue to point South.

	The moral of the resulting confusion is of course:

He who has a Tates' is lost.

Warning: this is a joke I heard from John Walters of DEC Palo Alto.   He is the
most lethal punster in the galactic sub-sector.   Approach with caution.
T.RTitleUserPersonal
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522.1wait! Wasn't it...?MARKER::KALLISDon't confuse `want' and `need.'Mon May 23 1988 18:2114
    The way I reard it was that Josiah and Adam had a disagreement on
    whether to daopt the European_continental standard or go their own
    way.  Adam favored the North; Josiah the South.  Each gathered
    partisans, resulting in an escalation of feelings that, in term
    of those favoring the North versus those favoring the South, resulted
    in:
    
    The War between the Tates.
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.
    
    For those unfamiliar with U.S. history/culture, the American Civil
    War is frequently aliased as The War Between the States, particularly
    below the Mason-Dixon Line.
522.2Real lostLEDS::HAMBLENMon May 23 1988 18:556
	
	Hmmmm.  The way I heard it was that the Tates brothers held the 
patent for brass needles in compasses, and durned if they would believe in 
the reputed superiority of _iron_ for the purpose.  So,

He who has a Tates' is lost.  I mean, _real_ lost.
522.3and moreHERON::BUCHANANa man, a plan, a canal: SuezMon May 23 1988 19:0713
Re: -.1   As you like, if you will.   My taste runs to the original version,
because it lends itself to the standardization subplot.

Many of John Walters' jokes are in Swedish.   Often at meetings in Sweden, he
will say something which causes physical pain to all Swedes in the room, but
to which I through incomprehension am immune.

Swedish is apparently a good language to pun in, because of the large number
of short words differing only in vowel sound.   For instance, by the removal
of a single marker from a vowel, one can talk about the divine Trinity of
the Father, the Son and the Holy Duck.

What an inspired stained glass triptych this suggests.
522.4ERIS::CALLASMr. TamzenThu May 26 1988 01:0914
    re .1:
    
    Actually, in the South the American Civil War is known as "The
    Confederate Revolution" or "The War of Northern Aggression." "The War
    Between the States" is a term invented by carpetbaggers to appease the
    Southerners. 
    
    Also, for what it's worth, the Mason-Dixon line, which is the border
    between Maryland and Pennsylvania, is not the border between the North
    and the South. No Southerner would consider Maryland to be part of the
    South. The true border is the Potomac. There is a vast cultural
    difference between Maryland and Virginia. 

    	Jon
522.5or "below"MARKER::KALLISDon't confuse `want' and `need.'Thu May 26 1988 20:3110
    Re .4 (Jon) re .1 (me):
    
    >Also, for what it's worth, the Mason-Dixon line, which is the border
    >between Maryland and Pennsylvania, is not the border between the North
    >and the South.
     
    True.  But aren't Georgia, the Carolinas, Alabama, and the like
    south of the Mason-Dixon line? :-)
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.
522.6apropos of nothingSLTERO::KENAHMy journey begins with my first stepThu May 26 1988 23:274
    Lots of places are South of the Mason-Dixon line -- Atlantic City,
    New Jersey, for example.
    
    					andrew
522.7How's this for Geotrivia?CHARON::MCGLINCHEYSancho! My Armor! My TECO Macros!Fri May 27 1988 19:016
    The Mason-Dixon Line is also the Eastern Border os Maryland,
    dividing Maryland from Delaware. So Delaware is _East_ of 
    the Mason-Dixon line.
    
    -Glinch.
    
522.8and so to insults...ODIHAM::HILLNick Hill - UK Corp. ActtsThu Jun 09 1988 16:517
    Re .1 and .4 with their mention of culture...
    
    reminded me of an insult:
    
    "Huh, the only culture he has is growing between his toes."
    
    Nick