Conference thebay::joyoflex

    from the drunker end:
    
    but, ossifer, I only had tee martooni's and a bubble durban...but
    I kep' telling 'em....the drunker I sit here...the longer I get!
    
    
    from a charming rhyme I was once told, about spring
    
    "while silling by my windowflutter, biny little tirds
    
    

Then there is the ever popular "hypodeemic nurdle".

Planning to have mouth to brain connection checked out department:

And then during a power failure I once cautioned my children that they 
should not open the refrigerator door so often or the "spood will foil".

The fly didn't die immediately when I sprayed but it was "moutally wornded".

(It's not easy trying to write them :-)

    MLNOIS::HARBIG
                    
                           "Starkle, starkle little twink,
                            I often wonder what thinkle peep."
    
                                          Max

	Here is a tale that will make your cresh fleep. It will
	give you poosegimples. It's a story about Cinderella, who
	lived in a big hark douse with her mean old mepstother and
	her two sisty uglers.

	The mean old mepstother and the two sisty uglers made cinderella 
	do all the worty dirk while they sat around, cheating ocolates and 
	magging readazines. One day while Cinderella was in the kitchen
	flopping the moor, the mean old mepstother came in and said,

	"The Pransome Hince is throwing a drancy bess fall and we're
	invited. But you can't go." So Cinderella went back into the
	kitchen with ears in her teyes and was just about to chickasee 
	a fricken...when there was a linding blash of flight!

	And before her stood a feautiful bairy. 

	"Who are you and what do you want?" asked Cinderella.

	"Well, I'm your Mairy Fodgother and you may have anything 
	you want."

	"May I go to the Ball?" asked Cinderella.

	"You may, but you must be mome by hidnight."

	And Cinderlla said, "OK", the Feautiful Bairy waved her
	magic wand, and Cinderella was transformed into a bavishing 
	rooty! She was dressed in a long white gapin sown and had
	a necklace of pubies and rearls. On her feet were two 
	tiny sass glippers.

	So Cinderella went to the ball. There she met her mean
	old mepstother and the two sisty uglers, but she was so
	beautiful that they didn't even cinderize recognella!
	And a gentleman approached Cinderella.

	"Who are you and what do you want?" asked Cinderella.
	
	"I'm the Pransome Hince, and may I dave this hance?"

	And the Pransome Hince was just about to ask for her mare 
	in handage when the strock clarted to trike swelve. So 
	Cinderella ban from the rall, and when she ran down the
	steps, one of the sass glippers flipped from her soot!

	And the Pransome Hince picked up the tiny sass glipper 
	and thought, "If I can find the one whose soot this flipper
	sits then I'll know whom I've lallen in fove."

	And the next day he went from house to house (and you can't
	spoonerize that). When he came to the sin where houseterella
	lived he docked on the knoor. The mean old mepstother came
	out and said, "Who are you and what do you want?" And the
	Pransome Hince said, "I am searching for the one whose soot 
	this flipper sits so I'll know whom I've lallen in fove."
	And the mean old mepstother tried on the tiny sass glipper
	but her beet were too fig. Then Cinderella tried it on,
	the glipper pitted serfectly, they were married, and happed
	lively ever after.

	and the moral of our story is:

		Some of our smubbles are trall,
		And some of our bubbles are trig,
		But if our trife had no lubbles,
		How would we bleckognize our ressings?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Some history for the interested:

	This little talk won the 'Midnight Magic with DECTalk
	competition at a DECUS Symposium a few years ago 
	(remember, Martin Minow? You gave me an inflatable frog
	as a prize!)

	The original was on a little known comedy record which
	came out in the early 60's. During an exceptionally boring
	lecture in graduate school I reconstructed this talk in
	the margins of my notebook.

	Some of the syllable transpositions are not exact, but
	the sounds they generate are. For example:

	'Trife had no lubbles' for 'Life had no troubles'

	indicates the sounds better than 'Trife had no loubles'

	Feel free to try it on DECTalk - it does a decent job
	with it.

	jim.
	
    

    My favorite from Spooner was a toast he proposed to "...our queer old
    dean." 
    
    My wife's college roommate had her moments, too. She was the one who
    saved money on required texts by buying 'boozed yooks'. She also gave
    up making her bed one day because she got tired of trying to straighten
    out her shitted feets. 
    
    Rob

    Wayne Bradley, the morning deejay on the radio station we listen to on
    the way to work most days (WMDK, Peterborough-Milford NH) not
    infrequently introduces himself as Brain Wadley. 
    
    --bonnie

And then there was the day that the dean of Boston sports-casters messed up 
the name of the the N.E. Patriots coach Chuck Fairbanks.

He never skipped a beat.

    back a few: it's "Rindyceller" two yourp! :-) :-) Love it!
    
    Isn't it more like,
    	"Starkle, starkle little twink,
    	What in the hey I are you think,
    	up above the house you flap,
    	I think you are a little bat!"
    	  
    I am not as drunk as some tinkle peep I am!
    
    rmm
    

    I have added the keyword "Rindycellar" to .4.
    
    	Jon

    re: .9 --
    
    Ahah! I've got it!
    
    Someone asks you, "Excuse me, where might I find the DECorum"
    (mentioned elsewhere) . . . 
    
    And you confidently reply,
    
    "Theyrindycellar."
     

    --bonnie

    Archie Campbell of "Rindyceller" fame is still sping of Koonerisms.
    His routine has appeared on several of his albums and more than
    once on Hee Haw.

    I've been breeding blakes in my backyard for years.
    

	Once a mig bolicepan met a bittle lum
	Sitting on a sturbcone, chewing gubble bum.
        "Aha", said the molicepan, "Won't ya simme gum?"
        "Wicks on yer stindpipe", said the bittle lum.

    After vigorous exercise, one ought to shake a tower.
    
    Bernie

    Miss on you, pister! You ain't so mucking fuch! Your whole
    famn dambly bucks fuffalos!
    
    --- jerry

While giving a sermon:
"The Lord our God is a shoving lepherd."

And reprimanding a young pupil:
"You have hissed all my mistory lessons; I saw you fight a lire in the
quad; in fact, you have tasted the whole werm!"


Allison

    ps
    
    '...tasted the whole werm.  You must leave on the town drain.'
    

    re:12
    
    
    	Tell me are hey thard to get together??
    
    					/^PiT^\

    
    Pome seople think that Doonerisms are spue to drain bamage.
    
    Dut I bisagree.