Conference thebay::joyoflex

328.0. "XMAS - late, of course" by NATASH::WEIGL (Turboferrets - racing for answers) Wed Mar 04 1987 10:18

    
    This came from a little notice in the paper around Christmas time.
    
    THURSDAY, DECEMBER 25
    
    "The Transport of Toys Through Soot-Filled Vertical Pores."  Lecture
    by S. Claus of Noel University.  The delivery of toys to good girls
    and boys all over the world is a classic mass transfer problem.
     Beginning with the early experimental work of Kringle and Nicholas,
    toy transport has been the subject of intense investigation.  This
    transport occurs once a year.  Toy flux is unidirectional, proceeding
    from the rooftop (inlet) to the living room (outlet), largely due
    to gravity.  The primary mass transfer limiting step is the transport
    of a rotund toy carrier (modeled as a sphere) through the square
    pores.  This step is further impaired when soot particles of a random
    size distribution are travelling in the direction opposite to the
    toy carrier.  A recently developed theoretical model predicts that
    the toy flux is enhanced by: 1) the prancing and pawing of eight
    tiny reindeer on the roof; and, 2) hanging stocking by the chimney
    with care.  These predictions are in agreement with the observations
    of CC Moore and others (Dasher, Donner, Blitzen, et al, 1823). 
    In conclusion, it is shown that "Yes, there is a Santa Claus."
        
    (This seminar notice appeared on a bulletin board in the MIT chemical
    engineering department.)
    
    Thought you'd want to know.

Yes, I used to not believe in Santa Claus.  Until I worked out the math.
He only delivers between midnight and 5 AM, which is a moving window
around the earth in 24 hours.  Given the 800,000,000 Christian homes
he has to visit, with average of 2.21 children per home, and average
of 3.002 gifts per child, the time he must spend in each home in order
to get the job done is .0002 seconds.  Hence you have to watch
carefully in order to see him.

/Eric

    
    Oh dear me - Makes me think of Heisenberg.  How romantic.

I was never sure about Heisenberg.

    heisenberg may have been here.

    .....but we're not certain.

    There once was a wishy-washy German schoolmaster.  He was the
    Heisenberg uncertain principal.
    

From:
    < Note 328.6 by DECWET::SHUSTER >

    
>    There once was a wishy-washy German schoolmaster.  He was the
>    Heisenberg uncertain principal.
    
  	Isn't he the one who said, "Make up your mind, Heisenberg!"
    
    I'm not sure I said that.
    
    Steve Kovner
    

    >> There once was a wishy-washy German schoolmaster.  He was the
    >> Heisenberg uncertain principal.
    ......
    
    And Heisenberg may have slept here, right?
    
    And Schroedinger was half asleep here.
    
    You know that Heisenberg used to work for DEC?  But he was fired
    because of his uncerts.

    When the old sultan died, his son declined to take the throne.
    He was the unsultanly prince.
    
    Remember, the visible portion of Heisenberg's principle is only
    one-tenth of the entire uncertainty.