Conference thebay::joyoflex

    Please see Note 29. "Nominal Punishment".
    

    I know a young lady whose name is Sherry Hamm.  Her mother is Etta
    Hamm.

    	About five years ago, the AP News Services did a little examination
    of all the names in the New York City phone book (it was obviously
    a slow news day), and one of the weirdest, actual names they found
    was one Rudolf Von Eggcream.
    
    	Larry
    

Yes, I get a chuckle over the speaker of the house Larry Spokes.
Or is that spokesman of the house Larry Speakes ?

/Eric

    	Hasn't anyone ever noticed how similar Donald Regan's name is
    to Ronald Reagan's?!
    
    	Spooky, huh?
    
    	Larry
    

    One of the NBC-TV network reporters had to do a report on new American
    cars.  His name?  Bob Datsun.  (Well, it's pronounced that way;
    I don't know the spelling.)
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.
    

    	There was a substitute weatherman on GOOD MORNING AMERICA for
    a while named Storm Field.
    
    	I don't know if he's still on, as my sense of good taste in
    TV kicked in, and I stopped watching GMA.
    
    	Larry
    

    re .7:
    
    Storm Field is the son of Frank Field a "famous" NBC meteorologist.
    Storm was at one time the Weatherman on channel 7 in NY (WABC) while
    his father was at WNBC channel 4 in NY.
    
                                                   
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    I once met a girl named Ann Noyes (pronounced Noise).  I suppose
    that her parents are still chuckling about it.
    
    /Tom Dichiaro

    My son was born on Halloween night, and while my wife was amused
    by the date for his birthday, her roommate named her new daughter,
    born the same time.......
    
    	Hally Eve
    
    What a handle to stick a kid with......
    
    BTW: Chuckle if you like about someone's name, but don't bother
    to point it out to them, most of us have heard all the dumb, stupid,
    and mindless remarks that you can think up about our names. Some
    of us even like our names, regardless of your opinion of them.
    
    Vic Hamburger - who's annoyed by the lack of taste and courtesy
    many people show about my name.
    		

Re: .-1 -

Your BTW comment reminds me of the Monty Python
skit which included the character "Bob Smoketoomuch".
When asked, "Don't you get a lot of ribbing about your
name?", Bob replied matter-of-factly, "Why, no, actually."

    re .11:
    
    Speaking of Monty Python...
    
    Then there was the character name Mr. Luxury-yacht, that is pronounced
    Mr. "throat-warbler-mangrove".
                                                   
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When I was in college, there were two secretaries who sat near each other.
One was Miss Masturbati and the other was Miss Fornicari (really!). 

Also, there were two salesmen who worked for a food company in Menlo Park,
CA whose names were Dick Greezidik and Harry Spear.

John M.

    Although  it's noty out of Monty Python, there is a British name
    spelled Featherstonehaugh.  It's pronounced Fenshaw.
    

    re:.14
    
    If you want to get into funny British pronuciations, there
    was a British general during the American Revolution whose
    name, "St. Leger", was pronounced "sill'-a-jer". I've also
    heard "St. John" pronounced as "sin'-jun".
    
    --- jerry

    And "Magdelene," which is pronounced "Maudlin."
    
    	Jon

Well, St.Clair is obviously pronounced "Sinclair".
St.John is obviously pronounced "Sinjon".

How might St.Gerald be pronounced?????

		Nigel
(it's for a character I'm playing in an upcoming mystery weekend. It's supposed
to be an English name, but I (even though I'm English) can't hazard a guess as
to how it might be pronounced)

Interesting you should mention "Sinclair" !  The following is a true story.

In northern Maine, the folks speak a combination of French and English,
and some locals have trouble communicating with travellers.

There are two towns up there, "Sinclair Me." and "St. Agatha".
St. Agatha is pronounced

	"san aGAT"

Well, my friend's Dad was driving up there, and had the following conversation
with a local:

Dad:	Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to St. Agatha ?

local:	san aGAT ?

Dad:	Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to St. Agatha ?

local:	san aGAT ?

Dad:	I said, COULD YOU TELL ME PLEASE HOW TO GET TO ST. AGATHA ?



I'm not sure how they got out of this mess, but it really happened.

/Eric

    Re .14:
    
>   .... there is a British name spelled Featherstonehaugh.  
>   It's pronounced Fenshaw.

    Not, it just sounds that way to you ... the (British) speaker is
    really saying "Fanshaw"    :-) ...

Re: .19  Re .14:
    
|>   .... there is a British name spelled Featherstonehaugh.  
|>   It's pronounced Fenshaw.
|
|    Not, it just sounds that way to you ... the (British) speaker is
|    really saying "Fanshaw"    :-) ...
|
That's it, old chap. I'll pronounce StGerald as "Fanshaw"! No problem.

		Nigel

    re:.20
    
    Why not pronounce it as "Throatwarbler-Mangrove"?
    
    --- jerry

    There are towns in the UK and the US called Leominster. The English
    town is pronounced Lemster, how do you Americans pronounce your
    Leominster?
    
    There's also Beauchamp and Belvoir, which are Beechan and Beever.
    
    Phillip (pronounced in the usual way)

    Well, based on my having lived there now for 18 months, it's pronounced
    (if I understand my daughters correctly)
    
    			"Lemminstah"
    
    							-Steve

    And then there is Towcester, in the west of England, which is pronounced:
    "Toaster"...

    Those of us without New England accents pronounce it "Lemon-stir."
    
    	Jon

    When I was a kid, and Red Skelton had a regular television program,
    he had a running gag that he used from week-to-week that always
    got a laugh.  I not only failed to see the humor of it but had to
    withstand a steady reprise of it in the schoolyard.
    
    			"Got change for a hern?"
    
    
    

>    			"Got change for a hern?"
    
That's "Got change for a TERN?"  G&H were seagulls, get it?

					>>>==>PStJTT    
    

    RE: .27  "one good tern"
    
    I could only wish...
    
    NO, NO, NO,
    
    			the joke was not used with the Gerturude and
    Heathcliffe characters.  I just threw them in as an added example
    of Skelton's abuse of names.  The line he used was " Got change 
    for a _H_ern?"
    
    
    

        I knew you would leave no tern unstoned.

        (I'll hate myself in the morning.)

    	A company that does a fair amount of business in this area and
    advertises on local radio is "Tooth Removals".
    
    	No, they are not dentists. They do international furniture
    removals.

    Saw a van this morning:
    
                    Unix Rent [flashy logo]
                    
    No, nothing to do with computers that I could see. They rent vans.
    Several jokes regarding the current situation in the computer business
    come to mind ... :-)

                                                  - Rik -
    

    AT&T doesn't care -- Novell now owns UNIX.
    
    					andrew

    ...like that it apparently is more profitable to rent out the company
    van than to use it to deliver your computers ...

    Fact is that although Novell does not presently choose to put a notice
    in its books, UNIX is still legally a registered trademark of UNIX
    Systems Laboratories, Inc. (which is now wholly owned by Novell).  So
    we continue to acknowledge the trademark as we are supposed to do.
    
    AT&T (which is a registered trademark of American Telephone and
    Telegraph Corp.), calls its version of the UNIX thing "System V,"
    thereby neatly sidestepping the trademark concern.  System V, by the
    way, is *not* a trademark.

    Yeah, but try to find a trademark acknowledgement for MUTLICS[tm]
    operating system or PDP-11[tm] non-computers in a UNIX[tm] document.

    Yeh, MUTLICS[tm]... what a bitch of an O/S *that* was...
    

    Ah, that was the result of my new weird processing system :-)

    	I'm afraid I interpreted "Unix Rent" as a headline referring to the
    multiple incompatible versions offered by all the major computer
    companies.

    Well, if appearance is anything to go by, it was a closed van.

I don't know the names of their opposition, but there is a tow-truck company 
in Sydney called "Active Towing".


Chele