Conference thebay::joyoflex

Yes, New Englanders tend to downplay things too.  Consider this conversation,
with suitable "down East" Maine accent (listen to the "Bert and I" record
if you need to learn the accent):

Cronie one:	Aye George, I heard you buried your wife last month.

Cronie two:	Aye yup.

time passes

time passes

time passes

Cronie two:	Had to.  Dead, you know.


/Eric

    .1 Reminds me of the Monty Python skit
    
 woman #1    "It took me four hours to bury the cat."  
 woman #2    " FOUR HOURS to bury the cat!?"
 woman #1    "Yes, well it wasn't dead yet."
    
    And other Bert and I such as...
    
 Balloonist who has lost his way to farmer on the ground  " Hey there,
    where am I ?"
    
 Maine farmer " Why you'ah in ah balloon y' damn fool"
    
    
    
    
    and
    
    
  Tourist to local Maine-iac  " Can I take this road to Portland? "
  Maine-iac       "Nope. That road has ta stay right theyah."
    
    
    
    Steve                 

    A true story from New England.
    My father and his friend had gone fishing for the day. Of course
    they had their share of beers to ward off the summer heat. What
    they caught that day,I don't remember but what happened as they
    arrived home was a perfect example of an  understatement.
     
    Mike, my dad's friend, had a big old Cadillac which was his pride
    and joy despite all of it's dents and rust spots. After a full day
    of fishing and drinking the pair arrived home and Mike parked the
    car in the garage. Well, he tried to park the car. It seems that
    his coordination was impaired and he backed the car into the side
    of the garage. In fact he had knocked the entire corner of it off
    its foundation ! As he and Dad checked the damage it looked as though
    the day had come to a close on the down side. Dad told me the damage
    to the building was quite extensive. Poor Mike hadn't said a word
    yet. My father was sure his friend was upset over the damage to
    the garage. Then, in the typical Yankee style Mike uttered his
    summation. " Damn it! I got paint on my car!"
    
    Steve

    One of my "Down East" favorites has a tourist visiting at the local
    fish pier.  After watching and listening to the various locals,
    he commented to a native. "Boy, you sure do have a lot of colorful
    characters around here."
    
    To this the native replied, "Ayuh, but come Sep-tem-bah, most of
    'em will be gone 'til next ye-ah."

    When I lived in Norfolk, Viriginia, I was waiting outside the store
    for my [then] spouse to finish shopping.  A K-9 Police car� was
    parked by the store, with the dog sitting placidly in the front
    seat.
    
    A little old lady was standing next to me, also obviously waiting
    for someone.  She came over to the car and asked the policeman,
    "Is the dog vicious?"  On cue, the dog immediately snarled and threw
    himself against the closed window, with teeth bared and slavering.
    The poor old lady turned comletely white and backed away, clutching
    her throat.
    
    The policeman turned casually, and in a good Norfolk drawl, replied,
    "Yes Ma'am."
    
    =================
    �In the U.S., a policeman accompanied by a police dog is a member
    of the "K-9" corps.  Really.

    There was, I'm told, a psychiatrist whose standard method of guiding a
    patient was to rephrase whatever the patient said in calm and neutral
    words, then repeat it. 
    
    One day a particularly agitated patient was ranting and raving: "It's
    awful. My life is a shambles! I lost my job, my family, my house." To
    which the psychiatrist replied, "You've had some setbacks lately." 
    
    The patient continued, "It's more than I can bear! I can't go on! I'm
    so sick of everything going wrong, I feel like killing myself." The
    psychiatrist echoed, "You're a little depressed." 
    
    Without another word, the patient leapt up, ran to the open window, and
    jumped 15 floors to his death. After a moment the psychiatrist went to
    the window, leaned out and said, "Plop." 
    
    

    	Bert and I was out fishin'... Saw a dory, weren't nobody in
    it.  Thought it must have broke loose from it's moorin's and cast
    adrift.
    
    	Said to Bert, "Bert - there's a dory.  Ain't nobody in it. 
    Might have broke loose from it's moorin's and cast adrift."
    
    	Bert said "I don't know but what as you might not be right!"
    
    	Made our way over to the dory... turn'd out there was someone
    in it... young couple in the bottom -- don't need to tell ya what
    they was doin'.  I couldn't help but redden up some - didn't bother
    Bert none, though.  He just smiled and said "Got a nice day for
    it!"

    Another "Burt and I"
    
    
    Old Timer #1 : Had to shoot my dog yesterday.
    Old Timer #2 : Was he mad?
    Old Timer #1 : Well, he sure as he!! weren't pleased..
    
    
    -got to be one of the best albums...especially when you grew up in the
    area and actually KNOW people who really do talk like this!!!
    
    -Wendy-

    Another "Burt and I"
    
	Burt and I went up to he cabin, Sattid'y.  Sent Burt out to the 
spring to get sum wattah.    In thutty secon's he's back.
	"THAY'S A BAY-UH IN THE SPRING!!  HE'S SETTIN' IN THE SPRING UP
THAY-UH!!" he sez.
	"Now Burt," I sez, "cahm y'self.  Remembuh, that bay-uh's more
skeered of you, than you are of _him_."
	"Well, then," sez Burt, "we'd bettuh not drink _that_ wattuh."


				_Dave_

    
    
    A tourist from New York was driving down a back road in Maine, when
    he came upon a rather large puddle in the road.  Sitting on the
    fence alongside the road was the local farmer.  The tourist asked
    if the puddle was deep, and the farmer replied, "Can't say it is."
    
    Thereupon, the tourist drove his car through and it immediately
    sank up to the window sills.  He shouted, "I thought you said this
    puddle was not deep!!", and the farmer replied  "It only comes up
    to here on the ducks."