Conference thebay::joyoflex

    EEK!  Make that "Humorous."  An unintentional pun, I guess.  Just
    goes to show 'ya, even Edwin Newman's autograph cannot ward-off 
    human error...
    

    If he gets a cold from you as well, you'll have given your host
    rheum and board during your stay.
    
    Is he the one whose sister works with wood? You know, the carpenter
    aunt? 
    
    If two other people give the same gift, he'll have tree.
    
    I presume the tie is already knotted?

    If he's wearing an Arrow shirt, he should select a bow tie.
                                                    
    -bs

Or perhaps a bough tie. Perhaps it's made of [Adam's] Apple?

    
    I'm sure that it's the kind of gift that he's been
    pining for! 

    Wooden't I like one of those myself!
    

    
    Anyone getting board with this?
    
    
    Knot me, but thanks for aspen.
    
    
    -bs

    Please, let us know how he liked his gift!
    
    -bs    

    Hi, Y'all!
    
    Just got back from Delaware and thought I'd let you know how the
    gift-giving went. He didn't especially react at first (deadpan and
    monotone: "Oh, look, a wooden necktie").  However, he "warmed" up
    to it, cackled with glee at the puns, and wore it when we went out
    to eat the next day.  He kept coming-up with excuses to leave the
    table so he could walk around the restaurant and draw stares.  A
    few more puns were added to this entry while I was gone, so I will
    send them down to him.
                                              
    
                      THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELP!!
    
    
    P.S.  If you think of any more, send 'em in!
    

    I know a son-of-a-birch that could use a tie like that!
    

You ex-planed that a wooden tie is oak-A after awl?

I don't know if that tie is the son of a birch, or the son of a beech, but I
hear its mother was the best piece of ash in the woods!

-Mike

    Here we go, resin or knot:
    
    Since the tie was given out of deep affection, it goes to show that
    love is a many-splintered thing.
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.
    

Sorry to be late, but I don't want to miss out on this entirely.

I bght a wooden tie once.  Wooden tie.  Don't know why knot.  Took
it back and told the salesman, "Eucalyptus good!"  Guess that's what
I get for dealing with a branch instead of the main store.

You should have hemlock it up for safekeeping.

Ugly tie?  You oughtta cedar rest of 'em.

Maple he can return it.  My dogwood.

You should have bought a pear--one for his alder ego.

(I'd hate to see the swimming trunks you'd buy him.)

Sorry, but you axed fir it!

BU

(Sorry, got the urge again.)

If he liked it you can be releaved.  If not, maybe he can palm if off on
a frond.

Anonymous

Yes, but have yew looked fir the root of the problem?

I will now leaf (to paraphrase FUTURE::UPPER)

Is it time to leaf this alone and branch into something else?

	Was the tie-dyed?  It's best when it's dyed-in-the-wood.
	How much did you pay for the ty - phoid - y bucks?
	Or did you rent it?  As far as rentin' goes, I don't think
	   I wood.Bine it wood've been more apple-opriate.
	Are you tierd of all this?

	If we woodshed our tendencies to pun, if we woodchuck the
	idea of add(l)ing more puns on this subject, the notes-file
	probably woodwork better, and all these silly puns woodland
	in the old oaken (bit) bucket.
	Maybe we shouldn't tie up so much system treesources anymore.



	re:  typhoid
	... pay for the tie?  Forty bucks?
	re:  woodbine
	... I don't think I would.  Buyin' it would've ...
	A bit contr-ivy-d perhaps.
    

    I'd think that a wooden tie would give one a stiff neck.
    

    re: -1  then it's a good thing he didn't get wooden pants!
    
    Did he dutifully log his gift?

    He re tie rd you say?  Well at least he as a way to whittle away the
    hours when he's not all tied up. 
    
    It's more difficult to cut one from a binary tree since they have so
    many square roots!
   
    But really, it's something only a sap would give.

    mp

    I'm board with this note. We're getting too many old saws. 
    
    It's time to table it. Log off.
    
    -bs 

  That's pine by me if it's oak with you.

  JP

    It sounds like he didn't cedar humor in the gift at fir(st).  But
    it should certainly spruce up his wardrobe.
    
    It seems that it was a peach of a gift from someone who is the apple
    of his eye.  Maybe he will receive a pear of them next year.
   
    If someone gave me such a touching gift I'd probably balsam too.
    

    Was the wood the same wood that Buzz saw?