[Search for users] [Overall Top Noters] [List of all Conferences] [Download this site]

Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:The Joy of Lex
Notice:A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:THEBAY::SYSTEM
Created:Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1192
Total number of notes:42769

220.0. "Dear Sir or Madam:?" by FRSBEE::COHEN () Thu Jul 17 1986 00:01

Some colleagues and I had discussion the other day that suprised me because I
thought the issue was resolved.  It started with someone mentioning that the
N.Y. Times has just (last week) decided to use the term "Ms."

This brought us to a discussion of how you address a letter to a business where
you don't know the person you're writing to.  I said that I use "Dear Sir or 
Madam:"  Someone else thought that sounded a little pretentious, but didn't
have a good alternative.  "Gentlemen" was sugested, but the consensus was
that was as offensive as "Dear Sir:"  At that point the discussion sort of
disintegrated without a resolution.  Anybody have any thoughts?
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
220.1NOGOV::GOODENOUGHJeff Goodenough, IPG Reading-UKThu Jul 17 1986 07:418
    "Dear Sir or Madam," is quite common here, though "Dear Sirs," (plural)
    is, I would guess, equally common.  Bigenderizing this (yes, I'm
    trying to get into another note) into "Dear Sirs or Mesdames" would
    be horrific :-)
    
    How about "Hey you," ?
    
    Jeff.
220.2Mesdames et Messieurs:PROSE::WAJENBERGThu Jul 17 1986 09:309
    I'd use "Dear Sir or Madam:" for singulars and "Ladies and Gentlemen:"
    for plurals.  If there was a handy title, I might substitute that
    for the name: "Dear Editor:" or "Dear Doctor:" or "Dear Professor:."
    
    People who announce themselves as a pair of initials and a surname
    should be prepared to receive letters addressed to all manner of
    genders.
    
    Earl Wajenberg
220.3No greeting...present your message.APTECH::RSTONEThu Jul 17 1986 10:2913
    Back in one of the earlier discussions concerning sex and gender,
    I entered my thoughts on the "Greeting" in a business letter.  I
    have taken the attitude that if the use of a greeting line is awkward,
    don't bother using one.  Who needs it?  What purpose does it serve
    other than conformance to formality or a traditional custom.  That
    element of courtesy may now have to be weighed against the
    consideration of the more sensitive issue of an unintended offense
    to the recipient.
    
    I see nothing wrong with using the company address, with possibly
    a line referencing a position title, followed immediately by the
    message which you wish to convey.
    
220.4ERIS::CALLASJon CallasThu Jul 17 1986 13:214
    In what way is "Dear Sir or Madam" pretentious? I thought it was the
    preferred greeting. 
    
    	Jon
220.5Discussed beforeDEREP::CANTORDave CantorThu Jul 17 1986 13:423
      See also the discussion at 143.20ff.
      
      Dave C.
220.6Use LatinBISTRO::TIMMERRien Timmer, Valbonne.Fri Jul 18 1986 07:078
	In those cases when I'm not sure I often use:
    
    		L.S.	(Lectori Salutem)
    
    	I don't think that's offending to anyone.
    
    Rien.
    
220.7Huh?APTECH::RSTONEFri Jul 18 1986 09:465
    Re: .6
    
    I don't know that it will offend anyone, but it probably will confuse
    a goodly percentage of the recipients. :^)
    
220.8Why not "Dear Collegue"?REX::MINOWMartin Minow -- DECtalk EngineeringFri Jul 18 1986 23:220
220.9Nit alert! Nit alert!SUPER::KENAHO frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!Sat Jul 19 1986 16:3516
    re -1:  Better yet:  
    
    			Dear Colleague
                        
    (Sorry Martin, it's one of those misspellings that I can't ignore.)
    
    Back to original topic.  I either ignore the salutation, or use:
    
    Salutations:  
    
    I prefer this to "Greetings:"  
    
    (Anyone who was around in the late 60's will understand my aversion to
    this particular form af address.) 
    
    					andrew
220.10What's wrong with "Greetings:" exactly?ECCGY4::BARTAGabriel Barta/ESPRIT/Intl Eng/MunichSat Jul 19 1986 17:045
I was emphatically around in the 60s (though not in the U.S.), but I 
have no idea why "Greetings:" is any worse than "Salutations:" (which 
sounds French to me, b.t.w.).

Gabriel.
220.11You have just "won"...JON::MORONEYMadmanSat Jul 19 1986 21:126
re .-1:  About the most dreaded piece of correspondance a young male could 
receive in the '60s started out with "Greetings:".  It continued with how
the recipient was going to receive an all-expense paid trip, usually to
Viet Nam.

-Mike
220.12I was thereDELNI::CANTORDave CantorSat Jul 19 1986 23:5410
      re  Greetings:
      
      I *was* around in the 1960s and I *did* get that most dreaded
      piece of correspondence that began with the salutation
      'Greetings.'   I use it because it makes no assumption about
      the sex, social standing, marital status, educational level,
      or number of the addressee(s).  If a conversation then ensues
      about the 1960s, so much the better.
      
      Dave C.