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Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:The Joy of Lex
Notice:A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:THEBAY::SYSTEM
Created:Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1192
Total number of notes:42769

72.0. "New Products." by WSGATE::CANTOR () Wed May 15 1985 17:24

We recently had a name for a new product rejected by marketing after it had
been through the entire review process (we thought).

Consequently, we came up with some names for new products which we feel
are unlikely to have any problems getting through the legal review
process.



	VAXectomy--a real time microsurgery monitor.

	CADstration--a medical work station.

	DECscrement--a process/flow control product.



All further contributions gratefully accepted.

-cjc
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72.1abusing bussingOBLIO::SHUSTERRoB ShUsTeRTue May 20 1986 12:535
A real new product:

VAXBI, billed as "the bus for the future".

Unfortunately, that means no one can ever use it.
72.2But the Future is now!!THEBAY::WAKEMANLALarry "Super SWS" WakemanTue May 20 1986 17:401
    
72.3Is marketing ready for this ?FOOT::PREECEJust a shallow hole, Moriarty.Tue Feb 21 1989 18:029
    
    There is a tale told, of a cleaning product company who had trouble
    marketing their "Best Universal Grit, Grime and Effluent Remover"
    after they made an acronym of the name.
    
    They had no better luck with their "Finest Universal Cleanser Known".
    
    IP
    
72.4?MARVIN::MACHINTue Feb 21 1989 18:185
    
    I heard that one. The slogan went, "If DAZ won't whiten it, and
    BRASSO won't brighten it, F*** it."
    
    Richard.
72.5out of wedlock...YARD::PREECEJust a shallow hole, Moriarty.Thu Mar 02 1989 14:516
    
    
    aha ! .... but can you remember who used the tale as a prologue
    	  a song, Richard ?
    
    Ian
72.6you're right -- I don'tMARVIN::MACHINThu Mar 02 1989 18:027
    
    Nope. I bet it was some crafty cokney sparra like Tommy Steele -- or
    maybe Max Bygraves. Smacks of musichall humour.
    
    Much more on this tack and we could be ex-employees.
    
    Richard.
72.7I give up !FOOT::PREECEJust a shallow hole, Moriarty.Fri Mar 03 1989 09:5320
    
    All right, stop the Mail, already !!  I'll TELL you who it was .....
    
    Richard...
    
    A West-country (ours, that is) folkie called Fred Wedlock, based in and
    around Bristol.  (He still does a show on Bristol local radio, I
    think.)
    
    The song was called "The Handier Household Help", and included the
    memorable phrase
    
    			"..keeps your wireless free from static,
    			 and will fumingate your attic...."
    
    If there's sufficient demand, I'll post the whole of it.
    If enough money gets sent, I won't.
    
    
    Ian