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Conference taveng::bagels

Title:BAGELS and other things of Jewish interest
Notice:1.0 policy, 280.0 directory, 32.0 registration
Moderator:SMURF::FENSTER
Created:Mon Feb 03 1986
Last Modified:Thu Jun 05 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1524
Total number of notes:18709

1420.0. "Conversion" by GEMVAX::SMALLER () Thu Jul 14 1994 15:46

    My boyfriend and I are thinking of getting married and he has expressed
    an interest to convert to Judaism. His father is Jewish and his mother
    is Catholic. He was raised Catholic.
    
    Does anyone know who we would contact in the Boston area regarding
    Reform conversion? Any info is greatly appreciated.
    
    Thanks,
    Sheri
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1420.1Any reformed rabbiMSBCS::MSD623::GlicklerSheldon (Shelly) 293-5026Thu Jul 14 1994 17:234
Any Reformed Rabbi.  Look in the yellow pages for synagogues near you.
I live in Framingham and my Rabbi is Donald splansky of Temple Beth Am.

Shelly
1420.2 try these for startersMEMIT::RICHThu Jul 14 1994 17:2529
    You might try the following (from an excellent reference brochure
    	(published yearly by the Synagogue Council of Mass - 617-244-6506)
    
    	Boston Area Reformed Rabbis
    	617-277-1655 Rabbi Paul J menitoff, Chair.
    
    	Union of American Hebrew Congregations
    	617-277-1655 [yes, same number] George Markley pres.
    
    Now for the sake of completeness and in case you want to persue other 
    	choices:
    
    	The Rabinical Assembly (Conservative)
    	617-861-0300 Rabbi Bernard Eisenman, pres.
    
    	Mass. Council of Rabbis, Orthodox Rabbinical
    	617-426-9148 Rabbi Dr. Samuel J. Fox, pres.
    
    	Federation of Reconstructionist Congregations
    	617-964-2791 Chayim Herzig-Marx, Regional Rep.
    
    	Sephardic Heritage Center (at Hebrew College)
    	617-734-3743 Dr Baruch Mazor, pres.
    
    
    regards
    
    Neil
    
1420.3No "ed" on ReformYOUNG::YOUNGPaulThu Jul 14 1994 21:235
    A nit maybe, but I don't think there is an "ed" on the end of Reform.
    It should be Boston Area Reform Rabbis.
    
    				Paul
    
1420.4CaveatNOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Thu Jul 14 1994 23:312
Note that reform conversions are not recognized by orthodox Jews.  I don't
think they're recognized by conservatives either.
1420.5OKMSBCS::MSD623::GlicklerSheldon (Shelly) 293-5026Thu Jul 14 1994 23:525
re: nit - Ok, Paul, Ok

re: Orthodox - As a Reform(!) Jew I couldn't care less.

Shelly
1420.6Do what's right for youHAMAN::GROSSThe bug stops hereMon Jul 18 1994 22:356
At my (Reform) Temple, the rabbi advises convertees (is there such a word?)
to undergo Orthodox conversion, just to prevent any problems with the
children wanting to marry Orthodox in the future. This is just something
to think about.

Dave
1420.7credibility?MIMS::LOKIETZ_SSteve Lokietz ALF/RSS 343-1082Mon Jul 18 1994 23:4618
    
    re: .6
    
    >At my (Reform) Temple, the rabbi advises convertees (is there such a
    >word?) to undergo Orthodox conversion, just to prevent any problems
    >with the children wanting to marry Orthodox in the future. This is just
    >something to think about.
    
    ok, but does the conversion have any ongoing credibility, from an
    Orthodox point of view, if the convertee does not ongoingly practice
    Judaism according to Orthodox teachings?  I've understood (perhaps
    incorrectly) that even tougher standards are applied to the converted
    than to those born as Jews.  Is it possible that the sincerity of the
    conversion might be questioned if the child wants to marry an Orthodox
    mate?
    
    /steve
    
1420.8NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Tue Jul 19 1994 00:144
In order to obtain an orthodox conversion, the potential convert has to
convince the Bet Din (religious court) that he intends to observe halacha.
I'd think it's more difficult to do this when a marriage to a non-observant
Jew is the motivation.
1420.9I'm on my soapboxMSBCS::3H0623::GlicklerSheldon (Shelly) 293-5026Tue Jul 19 1994 20:4529
We are getting off the subject.  Whether or not Orthodox Jews recognize 
the conversion done by a Reform Rabbi is irrelevent.

The potential convert wants to embrace the essence of Judaism and wants 
to convert.  He/She should do so in WHATEVER denomination is most 
confortable to him/her.  If some Jews don't want to consider it a "true" 
conversion then that is THEIR loss.

(FLAME ON)
Having been born and raised in an orthodox setting and moved to Reform by 
choice (and consider myself much more Jewish than ever before) I, for 
one, resent the attempts of some Orthodox Jews to set themselves on high 
as THE judges of who is/isn't Jewish.  I think that is the height of 
arrogance and is decidedly not Jewish is nature.  
(FLAME OFF)

Speaking now as a parent of grown children and reflecting on what I have 
seen I will state that you will accept from your children what you would 
never accept from anyone else -- nor ever believed you would have 
accepted.  In this light, if the convert wanted to marry and Orthodox 
Jew, and that person loved the convert and also wanted to marry, then the 
parents of the Orthodox Jew would accept it. -- I have seen it happen 
over and over again (an not to converts but to Christians).  There is 
really nothing to compare with a parent's love.

My $1.39  (much stronger than $.02)

Shelly

1420.10NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Wed Jul 20 1994 17:208
re .9:

Why are you flaming?

It's a fact that non-halachic conversions are not recognized by
orthodox Jews.  Whether a potential convert wishes to take this into
account is his business, but surely he should know this fact before
he makes his decision.
1420.11TAV02::JEREMYWed Jul 20 1994 19:307
I certainly agree with Gerald that the flaming in .9 is unwarranted and
seemingly irrational. Presumably the potential convert wishes to become
a part of the entire Jewish people, and therefore should have the facts
before him. Why would anyone want to hold back information from a  new-
comer?

Yehoshua
1420.12SorryMSBCS::3H0623::GlicklerSheldon (Shelly) 293-5026Wed Jul 20 1994 22:5541
That was not the intent.

First -- the base noter specifically asked for a Reform rabbi
Second -- giving of information is always useful
Third -- while the intent may well have been to simply pass on 
information it hit a hot button.  The stories I hear of Reform (and 
Conservative) Rabbis having a hard time in Israel due to regulations 
pushed by a small but powerful Orthodox right,  the attitude I see in 
many (certainly not all nor even the majority) of Orthodox Jews here in 
the US, etc. simply triggered the reaction.  I read the note not as a 
giving of information but more in the tone of "if you do that then you 
will not be recognized by the Orthodox as having undergone a REAL 
conversion".  If I misread your intention, as I now believe I have, then 
I sincerely apologize.  Please forgive my emotional response to what I 
perceived as an emotional stimulus.

In a greater sense I believe we, as Jews, must recognize and accept all 
sects (even the ultra-orthodox :-) ) as Jews who have varying shades of 
belief and practice.  We must strive to welcome all who wish to sincerely 
convert -- if only to stem the tide of loss through intermarriage and 
conversion.  As an aside, I believe I read a number of years back that 
the majority of converts were to Orthodoxy - as is to be expected by 
anyone taking up a cause.  My observations in the Reform temple to which 
I belong cause me to question that story.

I respect anyone who has strongly held beliefs and practices them for 
HIMSELF/HERSELF.  I have friends who keep strictly kosher but recognize 
that this is right for THEM.  I totally respect that.  I, personally, 
find much of Orthodoxy appealing (the traditions, the songs, etc.) but 
find much of it totally against my beliefs.  The second class status of 
women in prime in my mind (BTW my name is Sheldon and I am male).  The 
overemphasis (IMO) of Hebrew in the service is another -- I believe that 
my congregation has the proper mix.  This is right for ME.  I would not 
want to impose this on others nor do I wish them to impose their views on 
me.

As I said, we are ALL Jews.  We are few enough already -- let's try to 
live together and respect each other.  I reiterate, that I am sorry to 
have misinterpreted your motive.

Shelly
1420.13no probMIMS::LOKIETZ_SSteve Lokietz ALF/RSS 343-1082Thu Jul 21 1994 02:0614
    
    re: -.1
    
    since I brought up the subject, I'll say that I also experience
    frustration to see or hear of conflict between groups who disagree on
    how their Judaism should be expressed, so I empathize with your
    feelings on the subject and understand your anger.  I don't like seeing
    one group dictating what makes a marriage or (especially) children
    legitimate (a child is a person!  how can a person be illegitimate?). 
    I raised the question both out of curiousity and to be sure that all
    implications were considered, with no judgement intended on my part.
    
    /sl