| I believe, that generally, people are much more aware than they've
been in the past. Out of hundreds of greetings I received during
the season, only one was for a Merry Christmas. That's progress;
people are becoming a lot more sensitive about this stuff than they
used to be.
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| Really guys, I totally understand, in fact my husband does a "bit" (he
is a stand-up comic) about it, about resenting the Christmas season
becuase it makes him feel like an outsider in his own country. He
describes getting a wonderful holiday card, a Currier and Ives scene
and he is imagining the greeting "Merry Christmas" as he opens it to
reveal the message:
Season's Greetings, you lousy Jew!
It's MUCH funnier when he does it, but the message is one I found in
this note, that feeling of alienation and exclusion. Yet when people
say "Season's Greetings", they are sometimes making a concession that
NOT everyone celebrates Christmas and the reason for not saying Happy
Hannukah, is that they might be unsure of how to pronounce it or might
not really be sure WHEN the holiday is (come on now, don't some of you
get confused about your own holidays let alone one which is largely a
mystery to you?).
I think the intentions of the speaker matter a lot, sometimes people
are bigots, more frequently they are just ignorant and sometimes they
are really well-meaning but not quite sure of the politically correct
terminology or the particular prediliction of the individual.
I guess what I am saying is that the situation will improve when we all
lighten up. My husband and I fondly recall my perplexed grandmother
who responded to my husband's heartfelt "Merry Christmas" one year by
looking at him fondly and replying sincerely, "I wish I could say the
same to you, but you have a holiday too!"
I find that people generally have questions about my holidays and my
traditions and sometimes their questions are hostile (especially when I
say that I keep kosher, people, Jews and Gentiles alike, seem to want
to prove that I transgress by cross-examining me as to my level of
adherence when eating out, observing Passover, dining with my parents
or in-laws who don't keep kosher) but when I take the trouble to
explain, in a way which is nonjudgmental about their choices, it seems
to alieviate some of the discomfort and misconceptions.
One of my coworkers who is a sweet and well-meaning person hesitantly
questioned me about my holiday one Rosh Hashanah. She said that she
wanted to wish me a "happy holiday" but had once been blasted by a
Jewish woman who informed her that she had insulted her since the
holiday WASN'T a happy one. Now really, I wouldn't expect any of US to
do that, but since there are people who respond this way, what should
we expect the response to be?
So let's TRY to smile when offered Season's Greetings, and reciprocate
in kind.
Sylvia
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| After discussing how much we detest Christmas, and what an annoyance it
is, my friend Gary and I used to have a standing joke. I'd snarl at
him, "Merry Christmas." He'd snarl back, "And your mother, too." :-)
:-)
Still, Miss Mannersky says, take the holiday greetings in stride,
consider the source, and respond appropriately. For acquaintances who
don't know one is Jewish, and with whom one does not wish to
discuss it, smile sweetly and say, "Thank you."
L
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