Conference taveng::bagels

1144.0. "Our children and Christmas" by TNPUBS::STEINHART () Wed Dec 18 1991 20:39

    CROSS-POSTED FROM PARENTING NOTESFILE (MY ENTRY):
    
    How do Jewish parents deal with Christmas with their children?
    
    I have thought long and hard about putting this entry in at all.  In
    writing it, I have decided that it will be valuable not only to the
    Jewish (and other non-Christian) parents out there, but also to those
    who celebrate Christmas.
    
    We live in a suburban town in New Hampshire.  Most of our friends
    celebrate Christmas.  My daughter is too young (at 14 months) to know
    or care.  But by 1993 we will have to cope with this.
    
    My husband and I do not put up a tree or do other Christmas observances
    except for sending cards to our non-Jewish friends, and giving gifts to
    their children.  We are invited annually to one or two friend's homes
    for Christmas day dinner, and we happily attend.
    
    We are observant Jews who light Sabbath candles, celebrate Hannukah and
    Passover, and have Jewish books and pictures in our home.  What makes
    it difficult for us is living in a town (and region) that is
    predominately Christian and largely ignorant of Jewish beliefs,
    practices, or sensitivities.
    
    I grew up in a mostly non-Jewish town myself.  I remember that the
    season was difficult for me and my brother.  We so much wanted the
    pretty tree, loads of gifts, etc.  My parents conceded when we were
    very young by having a miniature Christmas tree about 2 feet tall, and
    giving us each 1 gift.  As we got older they discontinued this
    practice.  My husband is adamantly opposed to doing this.
    
    Next year will also be hard because my daughter's daycare provider has
    a tree, Christmas music, and other decorations.  Her provider, Hydee,
    is very willing to learn about our religion and help deal with any
    issues our daughter has about Christmas or Easter.  Still, I am
    apprehensive.
    
    I do plan to provide a little Passover Seder at daycare, during one of
    OUR primary holidays.  I will also bring a Hannukah menorah, and light
    candles and sing songs with the kids.  At least Ilona will be proud of
    sharing HER special traditions with the other kids.
    
    Our way of coping with Christmas has been to vicariously enjoy it by
    giving gifts to friends' children and visiting their homes.  When I was
    single I also went to hospitals or shelters on Christmas to sing and
    bring gifts.  This made the day easier for me, by giving to others.  I
    now view the holiday, for myself, as a celebration of the miracle of
    childbirth.
    
    But my ways of coping are uniquely adult, and I doubt they will
    translate well to a youngster who is likely to just feel left out and
    different.
    
    What have you done that works?
    
    Laura

    
>>    My husband and I do not put up a tree or do other Christmas observances
>>    except for sending cards to our non-Jewish friends, and giving gifts to
>>    their children.  We are invited annually to one or two friend's homes
>>    for Christmas day dinner, and we happily attend.
>>    
>>    We are observant Jews who light Sabbath candles, celebrate Hannukah and
>>    Passover, and have Jewish books and pictures in our home.

	Herein lies (at least part of) an answer.

don feinberg

Re 1144.0     

>    How do Jewish parents deal with Christmas with their children?

When we lived in England, we explained to our children why we did not 
celebrate Christmas and it held no place in our home.  We also educated
them to respect other people's traditions/religions while accepting that
they were not for us.  

>    We live in a suburban town in New Hampshire.  Most of our friends
>    celebrate Christmas.  My daughter is too young (at 14 months) to know
>    or care.  But by 1993 we will have to cope with this.

Be honest with her and treat her with the same respect for her ability to
understand as you would an adult.  If you want to avoid confusion, then do not
introduce none Jewish celebrations into the home.  Yes, we are different, and
it does not hurt to let a child know why and how from the start.  So what, if
she doesn't enjoy Christmas, etc.. We have plenty of our own holidays.

>    What have you done that works?

Made aliya; Christmas is not a problem in Kfar Sava!  :-)

Shalom
Baruch

    I am a Christian that does not celebrate Christmas.  I will not go into 
    the reason other than the fact that celebrating Jesus birthday is not
    in the New Testament of the Christian Bible.  I will explain how my 
    family deals with it.  First, my children have been tought by our
    minister why we do not celebrate Christmas.  I have personally tought
    them why we do not celebrate Christmas.  
    
    We send notes to the school teachers telling them that we do not want
    our children to take part in Christmas activities.  We give our
    children gifts all year round.  Because there is Bible proof of
    Thanksgiving feast in the Old Testament of our Bible we do celebrate
    giving thanks to G-d on the American Thanksgiving Day.  This is our
    main holiday.  
    
    Being Christian and not celebrating the Roman Catholic holiday of 
    Christmas is hard on my family because many call us athiest and other
    such names and some of my family (Mother, brothers, and sisters) do
    not understand why we do not celebrate Christmas.
    
    
    
                                        Marshall