Conference taveng::bagels

864.0. "Need Some Advice" by DOCSRV::STARIN (My other ham shack is a Gooneybird) Tue Jan 09 1990 08:43

    I am in kind of a unique situation. There may be others in it as
    well so if there are your comments are appreciated.
    
    My situation is this: although I am studying Judaism with the purpose
    of converting, my wife and children have elected at present to continue
    on with liberal Protestant Christianity. That might appear to be
    a family divided to some people (and in a sense it is) but I am
    of the belief that I cannot dictate to another person what their
    belief system will be and that includes my wife and children.
    
    In any event, although my wife has said she doesn't want to convert,
    she is interested in Judaism. The result is that on Friday evening
    we do light candles for the evening meal which often includes Challah (sp?)
    bread. If memory serves, there are various blessings associated with the
    Sabbath meal.
    
    Questions:
    
    1. What are those blessings? Is there any problem with a person
    in my position reciting them (i.e., I want them to be meaningful)?
    
    2. I feel I can empathize somewhat with the Marranos of Iberia in
    my present situation. Is there any problem from a Jewish standpoint
    with observing only a small part of Judaism under a Christian "cover"
    if you will?
    
    Hope that makes sense. I appreciate any comments.
    
    Mark
    
    

    >1. What are those blessings? Is there any problem with a person
    >in my position reciting them (i.e., I want them to be meaningful)?

    There are blessings for the lighting of the candles, kiddush over wine
    or grape juice before the meal, blessing over the bread to start the
    meal, and blessings afterword that give thanks for the meal.  You can
    find these in most prayer books.

    In this case you are not participating in a congregational activity, so
    there is no issue of status.  Anyone can say any prayers privately; it
    is in the context of the community that it matters whether you are
    Jewish or not.

    Meaning is in the heart of the one who offers the prayers.

                                        Aaron

    Re .1:
    
    Thanks, Aaron. I have a copy of the Reform Prayer Book so I imagine
    they could be found in there. I didn't think to look there - sorry.
    
    Mark