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Conference taveng::bagels

Title:BAGELS and other things of Jewish interest
Notice:1.0 policy, 280.0 directory, 32.0 registration
Moderator:SMURF::FENSTER
Created:Mon Feb 03 1986
Last Modified:Thu Jun 05 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1524
Total number of notes:18709

836.0. "Bar Mitzvah in Jerusalem?" by QUOKKA::SNYDER (Wherever you go, there you are) Mon Nov 27 1989 16:39

    My son, Joshua, turns 13 in 1993.  We are considering having his
    Bar Mitzvah in Jerusalem but do not know if it is feasible.  I'm
    entering this note hoping some folks out there might be able to
    help me determine if it can be done.

    First, some background:  A few years ago, my father and sister
    were having a telephone conversation about family matters.  BTW,
    my parents live in Boca Raton, FL, my sister and her family live
    in Granville, OH, my brother and his family live in Boulder, CO,
    and I live with my family in Colorado Springs, CO.  Anyway, my
    father was mentioning that in 1993 he will be celebrating his 75th
    birthday (May 15) and 50th wedding anniversary (April 6).  My
    sister's response was:  "Great.  The kids'll throw you guys a
    party.  Since we all live in different places, you can pick the
    venue."  Without a moment's hesitation, my father replied:
    "Jerusalem."  So it shall be.

    Well, as we all agreed to this family gathering, we have been
    considering having Joshua's Bar Mitzvah there as well.  All
    members of the family think that this is a wonderful idea.  There
    is, however, a complicating factor, to wit:

    My wife, Gail, completed her conversion (Conservative) to Judaism
    several years after we were married.  Both of the children had
    already been born and they were converted at the same time. 
    Joshua was 2� years old and Shayna was three months old.  Does
    this automatically preclude having his Bar Mitzvah in Israel?

    If he can have the Bar Mitzvah there, is it necessary to "book"
    way in advance as it is in many communities here?  How does one
    find the names of shuls in Jerusalem to write to for information?

    Sid
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836.1You can do it yourselfCASP::SEIDMANAaron SeidmanMon Nov 27 1989 17:3723
    First of all, what you are concerned with is _celebrating_ Joshua's
    reaching the age of bar mitzvah; he becomes a bar mitzvah simply by
    reaching the age of 13.  This does not require certification by
    any religious authority.

    One of the things that means is that he may lead the congregation as
    a shaliach tsibur and/or be called to read Torah.  Typically, what we
    do at a bar/bat mitzvah is celebrate this "first."  For a variety of
    reasons, Conservative/Reform/Reconstructionist Jews tend to do this on
    a Shabbat, while Orthodox/Hasidic Jews do it on a Monday or Thursday
    (when the Torah is also read publicly).

    Thus, what you need is a Sefer Torah and a place where you can gather a
    minyan.  I assume you don't have your own Torah scroll, so you will
    need to make some arrangements with a group in Israel.  If you want to
    do this in a place that is under the jurisdiction of the official
    rabbinate (e.g. the Kotel--the Western Wall), you may or may not have
    problems.  If you can make arrangements with one of the Conservative
    congregations (there is at least one in Jerusalem), you should be able
    to do pretty much what you want, although I suspect that a
    Monday/Thursday celebration will be easier logistically in Israel.

                                        Aaron
836.2Talk to your RabbiGVRIEL::SCHOELLERWho's on first?Mon Nov 27 1989 20:339
Sid,

Aaron makes the most important points about where difficulties might arise.

You should be able to get some information about how to make arrangements
in Israel by talking to your Rabbi.  He should have information about
Conservative organizations in Israel.

Gavriel
836.3Try the American Jewish CongressUNXA::ADLEREd Adler @UNX / UNXA::ADLERTue Nov 28 1989 12:195
    I recall the last issue of the AJC tour brochure listing a Bar Mitzvah
    tour, or at least a tour that included provisions for making those
    arrangements.
    
    /Ed
836.4another option for timingULTRA::OFSEVITcard-carrying memberTue Nov 28 1989 12:528
    	If you can make it fit, another nice day to celebrate a Bar (or
    Bat) Mitzvah is Rosh Chodesh.  You have a Musaf service as well as
    Torah reading, giving more opportunity for honors than at a standard
    Monday or Thursday service.  I went to one once, where the Bat Mitzvah
    did the entire (Conservative) service herself, and it was impressive
    and moving.

    		David
836.5Another vote for AJCHOMBAS::WAKYOnward, thru the Fog...Tue Nov 28 1989 16:406
re: .3

I second the AJC approach.  They will make ALL the arrangements for you (as
well as non Bar Mitzvah activities.

Waky
836.6also on MasadahCADSYS::RICHARDSONFri Dec 22 1989 10:2410
    Your rabbi ought to be able to get you all the information you need -
    the combined celebration sounds like a great family event!  On the
    other hand, there really could be authoritarian problems if you want to
    celebrate the Bar Mitzvah in Jerusalem.  A lot of people (who like
    things less formal) choose to celebrate Bar Mitzvahs in the ruins of
    the old schul on Masadah, which has a deep emotional connection for a
    lot of people anyways; I recall seeing several groups of people lugging
    Torah scrolls up Masadah when we were in Israel (I rode the tram; I was
    sick that day and couldn't manage the hike).
                                           
836.7We Did ItKYOA::SCHORRMon Jan 08 1990 10:1216
    I just had my son's Bar Mitzvah at the Kotel as part of our AJC tour. 
    The service was condunducted by the AJC affiliated Rabbii.  It was
    held on last Monday morning.  A few comments.  The cost is negigible
    $100.00 to AJC tour memebers.  The Rabbi has one very strong benefit. 
    He gets there first thing in the morning and gets the back right space. 
    The seperation wall between the men's and women's sections is shorter
    and the mother while standing on the other side can feel part of the
    service.  Otherwise the women have to stand on chairs to see.  I
    thought that the Rabbi laid on the schmaltz too thick, he did try to make
    it meaningful.  What upset me was the total crass commercialization of
    the service by many of the people there.  It was continually being
    approached for video taping, pictues, etc throughout the service. 
    Everyone had their hand out.  Bring plenty of small bills.
    
    Warren 
    
836.8I tried the Lotto yesterday, but no luckQUOKKA::SNYDERWherever you go, there you areThu Mar 19 1992 19:2144
    Time for me to bring this note back to life.  Thanks to all for
    suggestions/ideas/information in the several replies.  I did follow up
    on many of them, but the bottom line seemed to be that since Joshua's
    13th birthday is in late 1993, it is not appropriate to celebrate his
    Bar Mitzvah there in the summer of 1993.  My parents still want to do
    something, and we'll probably fake it one way or another.
    
    However, as we are now a year and half closer to the event (for those
    who don't recall and don't want to go back to read .0, this is a
    celebration of my parents' 50th wedding anniversary and my father's
    75th birthday as well), I have finally realized that it's time to take
    a good hard look at the logistics of getting four families to Israel a
    year from June.  As with many things, finances will necessarily play an
    important role.
    
    My parents have been saving their Israeli bonds specifically to have
    them available to use for getting them to/from Jerusalem/Florida and
    the costs while in Israel, though it will still be very tight for them
    because of low interest rates today and living on a fixed income.  My
    sister, a professor, believes that she can cover (barely) the costs of
    her family (of three).  I have instituted a plan to cover my family of
    four.  Unfortunately, my brother, who is living off of an NSF grant
    right now and has a temporary faculty position at CU Boulder for the
    next year, will have essentially *no* money for his family of four. 
    That means that my sister and I will have to pick up the slack.
    
    Given this, we need to fully understand the costs of staying for a week
    or two in Israel.  I've begun looking at air fares, but I was hoping
    that someone in Jerusalem could give me some idea of what it would cost
    for a group of 13 (8 adults and 5 children ranging in age from 2 to 15)
    to have reasonable accommodation.  Are there alternatives to hotels? 
    If so, how does one find them?  If hotels are the only answer, would we
    be able to find lower-cost hotels than a travel agent would know about?
    How expensive are car rentals and are they even necessary?  I've not
    been in Israel since 1975, and I hitchhiked nearly everywhere then,
    with the occasional Egged ride.  This will clearly not be appropriate
    now.
    
    We are not looking for luxury.  Clean and safe are our primary
    concerns.  Any suggestions are welcome.  If it matters, I am in
    Colorado Springs, so references to places in Massachusetts may not be
    particularly helpful.  Thanks.
    
    Sid
836.9shop aroundPCOJCT::MILBERGborn 162 days too lateSat Mar 21 1992 14:1124
    Let me suggest some alternatives to making your own arrangements and
    paying full fare for each portion (air, hotel, car, etc.) of the trip:
    
    1.	There are some tour agencies who specialize in packages for Israel,
    	including all expenses at a reasonable price.  ISRAM and American
    	Jewish Congress are two to consider.  They buy blocks of airplane
    	tickets and hotel rooms, so the cost is low.
    
    2.	Contact your local Federation about family 'missions' to Israel.
    	You will have to make a nominal donation, but the complete price
    	will be low (the costs of the trip are subsidized).  As example,
    	our local Federation ran a 'first timers' mission for 10 days, all
    	inclusive (air, hotel, tours, meals) for less than $1000 with a $500
    	minimum donation (per family).
    
    3.	There are agents who do bar mitzvahs in Israel, including the trip
    	itself as a tour package.  I know of one here in Northern NJ that
    	does that and will send you the name if you want (I have NO
    	connection with the business).
    
    Setting up your own trip is the most expensive way to go.
    
    	-Barry-
    
836.10looks like a tour will be the way to goSSAG::SNYDERWherever you go, there you areMon Mar 23 1992 06:1443
    re: .-1
    
    Time to show my ignorance:
    
>    1.	There are some tour agencies who specialize in packages for Israel,
>    	including all expenses at a reasonable price.  ISRAM and American
>    	Jewish Congress are two to consider.  They buy blocks of airplane
>    	tickets and hotel rooms, so the cost is low.
    
    What is ISRAM?
        
>    2.	Contact your local Federation about family 'missions' to Israel.
>    	You will have to make a nominal donation, but the complete price
>    	will be low (the costs of the trip are subsidized).  As example,
>    	our local Federation ran a 'first timers' mission for 10 days, all
>    	inclusive (air, hotel, tours, meals) for less than $1000 with a $500
>    	minimum donation (per family).
    
    What is a local Federation?  I am in Colorado Springs.  There's not
    much of a local anything that is Jewish around here.  We have a schul
    that I won't say much about, given a certain adage I like to observe
    when I can, and a chavurah that is excellent, but hardly a Federation.
    Oh, yes.  There's Chabad, but I don't like the rebbe.  My guess is that
    there's probably a Federation in Denver if there's any in the Rockies. 
    Is there a fuller name I could use to look in the Denver phone book?
        
>    3.	There are agents who do bar mitzvahs in Israel, including the trip
>    	itself as a tour package.  I know of one here in Northern NJ that
>    	does that and will send you the name if you want (I have NO
>    	connection with the business).
    
    All things considered, I don't think is really an alternative now.
        
>    Setting up your own trip is the most expensive way to go.
    
    Sigh.  Given the few places I've called and some personal mail I've
    received (thanks, Malcolm), I think I'm coming to agree with this
    statement.

    Anyway, thanks Barry, and I'll await finding out what these
    organizations are that you refer to.
    
    Sid
836.11I know someone who can help.ERICG::ERICGEric GoldsteinMon Mar 23 1992 11:258
I know an American rabbi, now living here in Jerusalem, who has organized many
bar mitzvahs for families visiting from the States.  Based on what he's told me
about this work, I believe that he could organize what .8 is asking for.  (He
officiated at my wedding, so I can vouch for his skills in running a ceremony
of this kind.)

If the author of .8 (or anyone else) is interested in contacting this rabbi,
send me mail.
836.12phone numbersPCOJCT::MILBERGborn 162 days too lateMon Mar 23 1992 17:4018
    Denver Federation-
    
    	(303) 321-3399
    
    
    Israel Board of Tourism (NY office)
    
    	(212) 560-0620
    
    
    check 1-800-555-1212 (information) for
    
    	ISRAM tours
    	American Jewish Congress
    
    
    -Barry-