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Conference taveng::bagels

Title:BAGELS and other things of Jewish interest
Notice:1.0 policy, 280.0 directory, 32.0 registration
Moderator:SMURF::FENSTER
Created:Mon Feb 03 1986
Last Modified:Thu Jun 05 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1524
Total number of notes:18709

523.0. "BREAKING UP IS HARD ON THE MORALE" by CSCMA::GILDER () Mon Aug 22 1988 17:35

    Hi, folks. Any one out there want to make a nice Jewish girl feel
    better about a break up.
    
    I have alot of regrets. I don't ever want to get involved with a
    interfaith relationship again.  I was convinced I could handle it
    but, you know, it can't work. I tried, I failed.
    
    Without ending up saying, "Poor me, Woe is me" I feel like I want
    to get back into dating scene. 
    
    While I won't win any beauty contests I don't think my face will
    stop the clock.
    
    Does anyone have anyone who wants to get fixed up with someone who
    has learned a valuable but costly error.
    
    I'm 38, have auburny red hair and brown eyes.
    
    Adriane
    dtn 292-2565
    YWO/C9
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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523.1Depends on the guy...NYEM1::COHENaka JayCee...I LOVE the METS & #8!Wed Aug 24 1988 16:2042
    Adriane,
    
    Although I don't have anyone to set you up with, I would like to
    comment on your situation (not an uncommon one in this day and age).
     Unfortunately, there are not a great number of single, eligible,
    jewish men available (at least not in NY...no one would believe
    that, but it's true!) and sometimes you have to go outside your
    own circle to find a giving, caring, warm man.  I don't know this
    for a fact, but I don't think that the relationship broke up simply
    over religious affiliation...there had to be other circumstances.
     If not, then this guy was not the one for you to begin with, so
    take that to the bank! 
    
    There is one thing that I do have to comment on...and this comes
    from the heart (it also comes from being a reform jew!).  I don't
    think that interfaith relationships are all bad.  I think that the
    problem that comes with interfaith relationships is that the people
    involved don't share or don't take the time to share of their religions
    with the other person.  Sometimes it's because that other person
    doesn't want to know from it, and in that case, you shouldn't want
    to know from him.  But in other cases, if the two involved are both
    willing to share of themselves (including their religious beliefs),
    then there shouldn't be a problem.  We all try very hard in our
    day-to-day lives to fight against anti-semitism, and then go right
    out and say we wouldn't date anyone that isn't jewish....sort of
    strange, don't you think?  It seems to me that it's not a person's
    religious affiliation that is important, but how that person is
    to you, how he treats you, and so forth.  My mother is sure that
    I am destined NOT to marry a jewish guy, because all those that
    I have dated (except for a current beau) have been jerks...not because
    they were jewish, but because they were jerks!  I just don't want
    to perpetuate the bigotry any longer.
    
    I know that I'll probably get a lot of heat from this, but please
    understand that I am a jew because I feel it in my heart, not because
    I was born into the religion.  I would NEVER convert, I would never
    ask a significant other to convert either, I would just try and
    help him understand that my religion is as important as his, and
    there has to be room for both in any relationship!
    
    Jill
    
523.2ESKIMO::JULIUSMon Aug 29 1988 16:5412
    Hi Adriane,
    It figures females would reply.  I just want to say
    "keep the faith" in more ways than one.  You sound
    like a very nice, sensitive and caring person who
    needs a little encouragement right now.  I would 
    advise you as your mother would to live your life,
    get involved with Jewish organizations and make
    contacts.  While you're busy and enjoying yourself
    you just might meet the right Jewish man and he'll
    be very fortunate to have found you.
    Bernice 
           
523.3How about the JCC?DELNI::C_MILLERTue Aug 30 1988 13:368
    Have you investigated any Jewish Community Centers or Young Adult
    Centers in your area? In Boston there is the infamous "JCC" in both
    Brookline and Newton.  They have memberships for singles that include
    you on their monthly mailing list of events and activities. It beats
    going to bars or blind dates.  I commend you for posting something
    as honest as this in a public notes file!  Good luck!
    
    Ellie Shiva
523.4too far away...schucksCOMET::KAUFMANLOOKING FOR A CHANGE......Thu Sep 22 1988 22:516
    
    Too bad you don't live out in colorado...I'd try to help ya out...
    
                                                    Mike K.
    
    I've been thru it too.