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Conference taveng::bagels

Title:BAGELS and other things of Jewish interest
Notice:1.0 policy, 280.0 directory, 32.0 registration
Moderator:SMURF::FENSTER
Created:Mon Feb 03 1986
Last Modified:Thu Jun 05 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1524
Total number of notes:18709

488.0. "Dealing with Death" by 58087::LEBLANC (Ruth E. LeBlanc) Tue Jun 28 1988 18:20

    I am a non-Jew, but am looking to this Notes file for help.  I hope
    my naivete' doesn't offend anyone here.
    
    My father passed away about a week ago.  I called a friend of mine
    looking for a shoulder to cry on and he told me about a Jewish
    tradition of celebrating the life of one who has died.  He talked
    with me a little about it, and he did help me through a very difficult
    time.
    
    I am very curious about the philosophy behind this custom.  I've
    looked through this conference and have seen things about the specific
    rituals one goes through upon the death of a family member, but
    there was little about the philosophy of the celebration.
    
    I went to Maine this weekend to get away from everyone for a while.
    My mind kept coming back to the "celebration".  I spent a lot of
    time remembering my father as he was, and I was able to feel some
    peace within myself in the knowledge that Dad had a very rewarding
    life.  Even though I don't know much about this philosophy, I have
    already found solace in it.
    
    Any more information people would like to share with me would be
    appreciated.  If you'd prefer, feel free to write to me direct:
    SPGDSS::LEBLANC.
    
    Thank you.
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name		DateLines
488.1Jewish Tradition...TAVENG::CHAIMThe Bagel NosherWed Jun 29 1988 06:0237
    Ruth,
    
    First of all, my condolences on your loss.
    
>                                         I called a friend of mine
>    looking for a shoulder to cry on and he told me about a Jewish
>    tradition of celebrating the life of one who has died.  
    
    
    I'm not sure exactly what your friend meant by "celebrating". 
    
    Generally speaking the Jewish religion has quite a well defined 
    process of mourning. Of course there do exist certain 
    variations amongst different sects, but by and large they are 
    quite similar. This process has limitations as far as time, seven
    days of intense mourning, thirty days of less intense mourning,
    and in the case of parents 12 months of even lesses intense mourning.
    Each stage or intensity has its particular laws and customs.
    
    Jewish literature is very rich in its view of life and death. A
    lot of what has been written and expressed is extremely hard to
    comprehend or understand. Some views seem to be contradictory. It
    is very difficult to make any type of generalization as to how Jewish
    philosophy deals with and views death.
    
    I believe that because of this the Rabbis were very insistent upon
    defining mourning in very precise terms. Had this been left up to
    the individual, to act according to his/her feelings etc., I believe
    that most people would not know how to behave and no matter how
    they did behave they would always wonder if their behaviour was
    correct.
    
    Cb.
488.2MourningFDCV02::CUSNERWed Jun 29 1988 11:4213
    I too express condolences on your loss.
    
    If you are interested in finding out more about the Jewish customs
    dealing with the mourning period, there is a book written by Lamm.
    
    I believe it is called "The Jewish Way of Life, Death, and Mourning"
    by Maurice Lamm. 
    
    I hope that some of the philosophies stated in it will help assuage
    your bereavement.
    
    
    Burt Cusner
488.3CIRCUS::KOLLINGKaren, Sweetie, & Holly; in Calif.Fri Jul 01 1988 17:144
    I am very sorry about your loss, too.  The celebration and
    rememberance of life that you are describing reminded me a lot of an
    Irish wake....
488.4SPGOGO::LEBLANCRuth E. LeBlancThu Jul 07 1988 17:3814
    Re 488.3 Re: Irish wakes....hmmmmm... I'm Irish (LeBlanc's my married
    name).  Maybe I should go polish off a bottle of Whiskey?  
    
    Just joking.  I've got to think of *something* cheerful.
    
    If I haven't said it already -- thanks to those of you who have
    commented here, others who have written directly, and even those
    who have called.  There are really some nice people in this company!
    
    
    Regards,
    
    Ruth Ellen [O'Donnell Hopper] LeBlanc