| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 459.1 | | LABC::FRIEDMAN | | Wed May 04 1988 12:35 | 6 |
| Use extreme caution with services of this type. You would be surprised
at how many truly mentally ill people who should be in hospitals
are members. You can meet some real psychos who may screw up your life
forever.
|
| 459.2 | | GRECO::FRYDMAN | wherever you go...you're there | Thu May 05 1988 09:50 | 12 |
| The service described in .0 is run by two very bright women who
personally screen each applicant. They probably could recognize
"truly mentally ill people who should be in hospitals".
I think you can tell what kind of "matches" you'll get by judging
the interview which the matchers give to you. Are they asking the
right questions? Are they understanding you? etc.
I feel one of the best ways to meet people is through mutual friends--
who know you and your needs. That's how my wife and I met.
Av
|
| 459.3 | Mentally ill doesn't always mean out of control | ATSE::KASPER | Avoid Colloquial Stuff | Thu May 12 1988 19:24 | 8 |
|
> They probably could recognize "truly mentally ill people who
> should be in hospitals".
Don't kid yourself. I have a friend who was married to a certifiable
psychopath, who did some really evil things to her. All their friends
thought she was crazy to divorce him, he was such a sweetie.
|
| 459.4 | | SUV029::FRIEDMAN | | Tue Jun 28 1988 12:39 | 20 |
|
There ARE mentally ill out there. We are normally sheltered from
having to encounter such people. They are CRAZY. Not silly
crazy, or humorous crazy, or pathetic crazy, but dangerous
crazy. They don't have jobs or other daily obligations. They have
infinite patience. Will that infinite patience you may be hounded to
the ends of the earth. At best they will cause great embarassment to
you and your family, and at worst will pose a physical danger.
You will be so lonely, so desperate to call upon such a service
that you may not even realize that some of the people you might
be introduced to are stark raving mad, and that the little bit of
attention and affection that you may furnish them is enough to
set them off harassing you and haunting and hounding and stalking
you years and years after you drop them.
Messing with demented people will spin you down a dark abyss, a
utter hell.
Meet people through friends and through the temple.
|
| 459.5 | I'm sorry, folks | CSCMA::GILDER | | Wed Jul 27 1988 13:10 | 22 |
| Gee, Folks, I didn't mean to start a war on "Mentally Ill". I was
just trying to help.
I've been a nice Jewish Girl all my life. Up until a couple of
years ago I thought I would be a career woman. Now I feel cheated
especially when other people bring in their babies for a couple
of hours to meet the gang at work. In the past 2 days I've held
two newborns to other DEC personnel. Each time I given the baby
back to "Mommy", my heart cracks. How nice it would be if some
day I could be one of those. Not all DEC personnel want to be
with other DEC personnel.
I just happened to stumble on something worthwhile. Yes, I have
been burned too by "introduction services" but I'm sure that if
meeting other SJ's is important to you, you would find Orthodox
Unions to be a very credible and reliable way to try.
Sometimes, a friend just doesn't know another friend...
Again, I'm sorry if I caused any heartache.
Adriane
|
| 459.6 | note to moderator | CSCMA::GILDER | | Mon Aug 01 1988 13:41 | 9 |
| Moderator, please delete replies since I've taken out my original
comment.
I really didn't mean to start a major discussion on how many dating
services hurt people. I merely wanted to offer an alternative.
Thanks.
Adriane
|
| 459.7 | Disappointed | IAGO::SCHOELLER | Dick (Gavriel ben Avraham) Schoeller | Mon Aug 01 1988 14:02 | 25 |
| > Moderator, please delete replies since I've taken out my original
> comment.
> I really didn't mean to start a major discussion on how many dating
> services hurt people. I merely wanted to offer an alternative.
SET MODERATOR
If the authors of the replies wish to delete their comments they
can do so. I will not delete for them since this conversation is
not a violation of policy.
SET NOMODERATOR
I think that information in the base note is worth having. I also
think that the replies about meeting dangerous people through
dating services also applies to meeting people through friends or
at shul (or any other approach).
A previous reply mentioned a situation in which close friends all
thought that someone was a sweet guy when he was really dangerous.
Those same people would probably have introduced him to their
friends to date. How much better is that than a dating service?
Gavriel
|
| 459.8 | Caring and awareness are the keys | ATSE::KASPER | Let's organize an anarchy | Thu Sep 01 1988 18:03 | 17 |
| > Those same people would probably have introduced him to their
> friends to date. How much better is that than a dating service?
None at all, really. My friend was introduced to her ex by a friend.
It was not my intention to imply that dating services are a bad idea;
the one mentioned in .0, run by 2 elderly Jewish ladies, sounds like
a good idea. I just have a red flag that goes up when people say that
they could tell a psychopath if they met one.
What can you do about it? Living in constant fear is pretty pointless;
I do think it's important to be aware of signals from those you care
about that something is wrong. What got that friend of mine out of her
abusive situation was the understanding and support of someone who saw
what was going on, and convinced her that she deserved better.
Beverly
|