Conference tallis::celt

    
    Kev,
    
    A resourceful man like you would surely have a few tickets to spare -)?
   
    
    rgs,
    
    Mick
    

    Mick,
    
    are you really as naive as the fellah who wants to wade in like dikie
    Bird and have big money on Clare at 6/4 ?
    
    Tickets are like golddust and they are cleaning up down in Clare
    raffling the few that are spare.  
    
    In fact I'm very busy decorating a house at the mo and won't be going
    up, indeed I expect to watch the final from a pub in Ennis! So I'm on
    the lookout for an Offaly hat to liven things up!
    
    
    Kevin   
         

	Mick,

	Is the other KeVin coming over for the game? I mean, will he ever have
another chance? Any idea when the other blue_n_gold hurling team in a hurling
final are playing and where? If the weather holds, it should be a cracker.

Sean 

    
    Afraid he can't make it....he will watch it in Boston...and I'm sure 
    they will celebrate no matter what the outcome..(George, Gerry..are ye
    heading in???..keep him under control? -) -) -)
    
    Afraid the blue-and-Gold will have until next year...
    Good U-21 win for the Kilkenny folk over Galway last Sunday..by a point
    Touch and go all the way...The under 21 competition must be the most
    under rated competition of the GAA.
    
    rgs,
    Mick
    
    

    
    Mick,
    
    Surely you are aware that Tipp have qualified for the U-21 All Ireland.
    They meet Kilkenny in Thurles on Sep 10th.
    
    I'll meet you in Mary Willies after the match.
    
    MBr
    

    
    
    ..just a bit sceptical of our chances -) -)....yeah..(looking for good
    odds!!!!!
    
    Mick

	Mick,

	That keVin must be psyChic!! He's just "tested" me on the Internet
	mail so I'm gonna drop him a line in a min....

	Martin,

	Thats just what I wanted...I'll have a bottle of black on it with ya
	...God I thought Keyes had more faith! If any of you guy's are going,
	can you get me a programme, that's if the GAAaaaaa reckon it's worth
	producing one....anyway, I hope you win the minor's!	

	Go raibh mile go leir...

	Sean

From:	US1RMC::"[email protected]" 29-AUG-1995 12:02:32.57
                     
          ***********************************************************
          
          Hello Mick, MBr, and my old friend Sean !!!
          
          ANCLAR ABU
          
          Clare will win by 6 pints !!  :-)

          

          Email to: [email protected]
                     

    Kev,
    
    Give Clare a 4 point start and we have a deal. The prize? You win and
    I'll be in here on the early shift for the next week. I win and you'll
    be in for me sometime. So put your money (or else your butt) where your
    mouth is.
    
    Dec.

    Sorry, there is an typo in .10 on the DTN it is 7822-4320
    Kevin M

    Folks, I have been advised that even small private arrangements of a
    gambling nature are tabu so I have deleted 1502.10.
    Kevin 

    It's probably just as well, as keVin Burns, a.k.a.
    The Bannerman, reportedly just remortgaged his house
    in New Hampshire.
    
    Anyone watching it in Boston?
    
    /G

    Fair play to Clare! They hussled Offaly out of it and fought like
    tigers.
    
    The Offaly team were never going well and they seemed tense and unsure
    of themselves compared to last year. It was clear after 20 minutes that
    from an Offaly point of view we were in big trouble with 
    Clare playing a very strong physical game. Nevertheless Clare gave
    Offaly more than enough chances with the soft goal before half time and
    a shocking lot of wides in the first half of the second half. Then
    Offaly came back into it and for about 5 minutes played to their form
    ang got a goal which they should have built a winning lead on. They
    then hit two bad wides and in fact only got one more point after the goal.  
    
    In the Copper Jug in Ennis last night two Clare men said it was a
    "flukey goal" at the end for Clare and I wouldn't argue with that, but
    given what had gone before they deserved the break, as it only made up
    for the present of a goal they gave us before half time. Did Daly's
    free hit the cross bar and bounce out or did it hit the goalkeepers
    hurley? Johnny Pilkington hit the post at the other end after that so I
    suppose Offaly could say that they were a bit unlucky at the finish as
    they led the game for 65 minutes but then you make your own luck and
    Clare were fitter and stronger at the finish. Much the same as what we
    did to Limerick last year.
    
    And I certainly can't complain as I still have some money left and did
    not get cleaned out for the month.   
    
    It was a great Clare achievement though I think Clare will have to work
    hard to get out of Munster next year but I'm not offering any odds on it! 
    
    I heard someone bet ten thousand to win four on Offaly in Cork on
    Friday.   
    
    It was a mighty crack and I don't think anyone begrudges Clare their
    great victory.
    
    Kevin

    
    Really unbelievable day...I've NEVER seen such an atmosphere for a
    any sporting event..We walked up O'connell street around midday and the
    place was buzzing..seemed to be 90% Clare. 
    
    Tickets were pretty hard to come by..30 quid tickets were going for
    60 and 70 quid...and even 20 minutes before the game you would pay
    50... 
    
    I thought it was a tense but very exciting match...Great defence from
    both teams..Lot of misses. I was too far away from the Clare goal to
    see if it hit the cross bar or not..evened out the easy goal offaly got
    in the first half....Mad scenes after the match...hear there is no work
    or schools open in Clare to-day..SOunds like a mad week ahead down
    there
    
    Mick
    
    

>    The Offaly team were never going well and they seemed tense and unsure
>    of themselves compared to last year. It was clear after 20 minutes that

Revisionism is great they say.  Offaly were the same last year as they were
yesterday *except* for the final fateful five minutes.  Most pundits forgot
that fact in the mad scamble to make Offaly almost unbackable favourites
yesterday!

Let's say that 'Alex Bird' has the bookies quaking in their boots here in 
Galway this Monday afternoon.  My winnings are in the 3 figure bracket :-).

I will report at length later in the week, but suffice to say both Clare 
and Offaly got exactly what they both deserved.  If Clare hadn't won 
yesterday they would only have themselves to blame as they frittered enough
gilt edged chances in the second half to have won two games!

I won't say I told you so but I told you so.  I told you to get all your 
money on Clare at 6/4-7/4-2/1.  In Offaly you could have got 2/1. 

Seeing Clare win doesn't quite make up for what happened last year but
it makes the loss in the Munster Final more bearable.

                            James. 

    good luck to you and well done!
    
    I take your point on the matter of revisionism, but I think hindsight
    is part of the fun, just as making wild predictions and 'ribbing' is
    before hand. Not to be taken too seriously.
    
    After watching the video again I would still say that some Offaly
    players were very tired in the last 15 minutes, and performed poorly
    compared to last year. I can also appreciate
    better now how Limerick felt last year, as Offaly lead the match for 65
    minutes, the sides were level for 3 minutes, and Clare were in front
    for the wrong two minutes!  I would agree with you that Offaly were
    unbackable and bad value at 2/5 less tax, and it is true when you point
    out that too much attention was given to the lucky streak the had in
    the last 7 minutes last year. You are quite entitled to say I told you
    so, and I hope there are some more great games between these teams in
    the future.    
    
    kevin  
    

I hope to see Limerick and Clare battle out many more Munster finals in
the future and hope that Clare's win will, at long last, give the imputus
needed for teams like Laois, Waterford, Wexford and Dublin to strive for
the golden breakthrough that Clare are after making.  I could also put
Limerick in the above category now :-(.

And as for your wholely valid point about being robbed at the death, I can
only concur completely.

Believe it or not Jamsie O'Connor sat beside me at the All-Ireland last
year and uttered the immortal words: "Sorry Boss" as he left me to pick up
the pieces of my life after the match.  He was lucky I didn't go for him 
there and then ;-).

                              James.

    
    ...Its going to make for a good Munster Championship next year..Tipp,
    Cork, Clare and Limerick in with a chance. Waterford shouldn't even
    be allowed in as they are animals on a field....:-)
    
    What would be good is to see the GAA in the  weaker counties put a bit more
    cash behind the School and  under age training programs. Basically for
    Kids starting off its very expensive..ie hurleys, helmets, protective
    gear..You need (as you have say in Galway for example), Official coachs 
    visiting primary schools and taking the kids through the basics...But
    to do that you need the GAA in the local counties or at provincial
    level giving some level of sponsorship for the playing gear...
    
    ..reckon next sundays Tipp V Kilkenny u-21 will be good..Sad to see
    Kikenney hurling going into a coma..Imagine going to Croke park
    (minors) and only getting 3 scores....against CORK...the shame of it
    all....:-)
    
    rgs,
    
    mick  
    
    
    
    
    

	Not sure that I concur on the teams battling out the Munster Final but
Clare's victory should hopefully do a lot for hurling. In point of fact, it's
been the appearances of Galway (spit! :-) ), Offaly and Antrim to a lesser
degree and of course now Clare which has brought a refreshing outlook to the
game. I'd like to see Wexford re-emerge so that Leinster hurling is more
competitive. Certainly no-one would be taking too many bets on who might come
out of Munster next year...if things go the way of the last few years, I guess
it must be Waterford's turn.

As far as Offaly being robbed...don't think so. Clare outstayed them and if it
hadn't have been for the flukey first goal would have won with a bit to spare. 
In fact all the goals had a touch of the gremlims about them really.

Anyway keVin is happy, he's still got the house!

Sean observing via Setanta......

    I watched the game on Sportschannel here in Massachusetts on Tuesday
    night.  A very enjoyable game.  I always thaought Hurling lloks like
    bedlam, but the skill level is amazing.  I thought Daithi Regan played
    tremendous for Offaly.  Anyway, just in case you are in New England and
    you missed it, it is on NESN tonight or tomorrow.  Check local
    listings!  
    
    Let us hope the pay-per-view or satellite cable stations continue to show 
    Gaelic games.  
    
    When is someone going to start a topic on the All-Ireland Football
    final?
    
    Regards,
    
    Ken Hanly

    
    Football note started...(secondary gane after Hurling -)
    
    

    OK, I have a question. Have there ever been any noteworthy/famous
    hurlers that were also footballers. Or are the two camps pretty
    segregated...
    
    Just curious,
    George

    
    
    ...a few ok...Jimmy barry murphy from Cork is probably the most famous
    
    usually the two camps ARE kept pretty much segregated..probably from
    a practical point a of view..training/games etc etc. Also you have to
    have skill to get involved in hurling...Muscle will do in football -)
    
    mick

    
    Mick,
    
    Are the Tipp co board so money crazy that they are allowing football to
    be played in Thurles. Its a bloody disgrace. Next they will have
    concerts there.
    
    MBr

    
    ..sad ok..At least they will put the football match on first and the
    real game afterwards..

Thurles is not the place to play football; the pitch is way too big.
It will be very hard work on the footballers of Mayo and Kerry to play
there as they are more accustomed to playing in tighter pitches in
their home counties.  Thurles is a great place for Hurling as you can 
really use your wingers to good affect.

Don't get me started on the GAA and their heads-in-the-sand approach
to foreign games i.e. Soccer.  They allow boxing fights, American
Football and Michael Jackson concerts but they won't allow that
dreaded scourge of humanity: Soccer to be played on the hallowed
ground.  This caused a lot of resentment in 1990 when Limerick tried 
to host a soccer international in the Gaelic Grounds.  The local GAA 
wouldn't give permission for the game, so the plans for the game fell
through as there wasn't a pitch big enough other than that to host the
game. 

Re .24

What about Jack Lynch?   He won 5 hurling and one football medals with
Cork (spit!).  There are at least 10 other people who have doubled up.
The last person to do it was Teddy McCarthy who played in both finals
in 1990. 

Brian Corcoran (Cork) is the best known dual star at the moment.  He
plays on both senior teams in Cork.  It's becoming much less common as
the commitment is way too great.  It was quoted that the Clare 
hurlers, since last September 5, had 140 training sessions (excluding
matches).  Double that up and you'd have to be a professional (and
even then some...) to be fully committed to both codes. 

I think, if the GAA could package the game properly it could really
take off in the States, and around the world.  Gaelic games do have
some exposure on Channel 4 in Britain, but I don't know of any great
push in the States in the same direction.  Maybe with the advent of
CelticVision things may change.  The thing most outsiders can't
understand about Hurling is how people wielding sticks in anger for 
upto 70 minutes don't suffer more serious injuries.  As we say down in 
Limerick it's the cowards who get hurt as they are most likely the
people to stand back from the full blooded tackles and get caught in
the cross fire :-). 

                          James.

    Well of course the image of hurling in the big wide world is important,
    and in this regard it is unfortunate to say the least that certain so
    called GAA fans have taken to spitting in this note! 
    
    As to the question of what a benefit it is to hurling when certain
    more backward counties such as Limerick etc "come through" and win a
    title I'm not sure I agree with this. My ideal would be for Offaly to
    keep up a run of titles down to say 2015 and for a mindset to develop
    that it is actually quite an honour to play Offaly in the hurling final 
    and that one shouldn't really expect to win it, except through some
    kind of abberation such as has happened this year. 
    
    And on the subject of football it is of couse well time Offaly won
    another football title. 
    
    Long live Tony Mcteague ! 
    
    And another thing James, after all that money you have won I think you
    should donate more than 2p for your opinions...
    
    Kevin 

    >>The thing most outsiders can't understand about Hurling is how people 
    >>wielding sticks in anger for upto 70 minutes don't suffer more serious 
    >>injuries.  As we say down in Limerick it's the cowards who get hurt as 
    >>they are most likely the people to stand back from the full blooded 
    >>tackles and get caught in the cross fire :-). 
    
    
    ...now, if Hurling were played on ice, it just might catch on in
    Canada.
    Naahhh, who'd bother to watch a bunch of men skating around on a 
    frozen pond whacking away at each other with sticks?  Stupid idea.
    
    Pat

    
    Nice to see some of the real teams giving us a a good game of hurling -)
    Tipp beat Kilkenny  in the U-21 final yesterday .....Wait till next
    year and the Tipp seniors will be back where the belong and we can 
    have a real All-Ireland
    
    

>    Wait till next
>    year and the Tipp seniors will be back where the belong and we can 
>    have a real All-Ireland

I think Cork and Tipperary will have to wait a little longer given the
breakthrough made by Clare this year.  Of course, Mr. Cashman of the
Sunday Independent was quite ungracious in his column yesterday about
the achievements of the Clare hurlers.  IMHO: all that's worrying him
is that his beloved Cork will have a tougher time getting out of
Munster, now that one of the peripheral teams has, at last, made *the*
breakthrough.  He still can't get it into his head that Offaly (a team
he sold himself down the river on) lost the All-Ireland :-). 

                            James.

re: .28
>> and in this regard it is unfortunate to say the least that certain so
>> called GAA fans have taken to spitting in this note! 

 Kevin, if the comment about spitting was for me maybe you'll notice
 that I followed it with a :-) smiley face. Its a joke in Notes etiquette. As   
 for being a GAA fan..hardly. Love hurling, it's in the blue_n_gold blood. Lets
 leave it at that.
  

 Anyhow to more serious matters....

 Mick or Martin,  did you go to the U-21 game and if so did you get a programme
I could buy/borrow? BTW Mick, keVin wants to know if you got a prog from the
senior final? Last Sundays game sounded really exciting on the radio..anyone
have a video of it?

Also Mick, is that Jackeen air getting to you or what? Babs Keating was surely
one of the best ever dual stars...just cos Tipp were rubbish at football he
didn't get any national honours but he played in loads of Railway Cup games in
both hurling and football. Also is'nt Anthony Crosse a current dual Tipp player?

BTW, have Limerick still got a manager, I heard there's some more trouble
brewing in the camp?

Sean

    
    Sean,
    
    I was at the game. However the Tipp Co board only printed about 1000
    programs and they were all grabbed before the start of the football
    match. I did not manage to get one - even though I searched.
    
    BTW it was a superb match

Re: .32

> >> and in this regard it is unfortunate to say the least that certain so
> >> called GAA fans have taken to spitting in this note! 
> 
>  Kevin, if the comment about spitting was for me maybe you'll notice
>  that I followed it with a :-) smiley face.

I think Kevin M. was alluding to my comment about Cork (being that I'm
from Limerick, Cork wouldn't be top of my list of favourite counties
in GAA circles). 

> Also is'nt Anthony Crosse a current dual Tipp player?

The problem with Crosse is that he's useless at both at the moment 
:-).

> BTW, have Limerick still got a manager, I heard there's some more trouble
> brewing in the camp?

I think it's a case of everyone wanting to be a chief and nobody
wanting to be an indian.  I'm not sure whether the problems have been
fixed yet though? 

A nice double for the weekend: Tyrone and Westmeath.  You'll get
anything up to 12/1 about them!  Don't say I didn't tell you :-). 

                          James.

I don't think anyone needs to worry about keVin not getting a
programme from the match as the following excerpt from a message he
sent to me today shows:

> My Uncle from Tuam that was at the match has promised to
> send me out a Clare Jersey, The program from the match, and
> (brace yourself) a sod of grass that was "lifted" by the
> "Sparrow" as he scored a point towards the end of the first
> half. My uncle has seats relatively clost to the field, and
> after the match, he ran onto the pitch to the EXACT spot the
> the "Sparrow" has used earlier in the match ..  :-)   :-)
 

 Martin,

	Thanks for trying anyway. You'll just have to buy me a pint instead 
 .........with all this spitting going on, my tongue's hanging out with the
 "droot". Does'nt it just exemplify everything about the GAAaaaaa. 1000 odd
 programmes for an ALL-Ireland double-header. I mean if Tipp & Kilkenny were to 
 
 meet at marbles at Semple, you get more than a thousand come along to see the  
 match! 

 James,

	Now thats not a very neighbourly thing to say about our Anthony! And    
 after you lot almost turning him into Cyclops as well...

 Sean

    re: .32
    please don't take my comments on spitting seriously...
    I was only trying to rise that Limerick man again, but he saw through
    it :-)
    Kevin

Re .a few back

Alec Bird strikes again!

I think I should start my own tipping service,
setting up a 1-900 (or whatever it is) number.

Keep those Tyrone slips, they're not dead quite
yet, IMO.

Re: Kevin's comments about spitting

Good mail!

                    James.

    
    What about odds on Tyrone getting awarded the match  -). and if they
    do what about odds on the sam maguire cup ACTUALLY getting out of
    Dublin intact
    
    Mick

>    What about odds on Tyrone getting awarded the match  -). and if they

Now that's a tasty one I wouldn't mind having a nibble on
(pardon the pun).

                        James.

If Liam Ferrie says it's so, I'd tend to believe him...

Irish Emigrant #450

- Dublin's latest Gaelic Football star, Jason Sherlock, is receiving 
  massive media attention but interest waned when his newly-appointed 
  agent, Kevin Moran, said that a fee would be required for future 
  interviews.

                          James.

    Your all a bunch of wankers !!!   :-)
    
    SOUND BALLYVAUGHAN !!!!
    
    keVin
    

>    Your all a bunch of wankers !!!   :-)
    
are you allowed to say that in here?  Of course, I've never used a phrase of 
this type in any conference, especially not Soapbox.  Honest guv'!  :)

Chris.

   > Your all a bunch of wankers !!!   :-)
   
    As of late? True.  ;v)
     
    
   > SOUND BALLYVAUGHAN !!!!
    
    I can picture you saying it too...

>   > Your all a bunch of wankers !!!   :-)
>   
>    As of late? True.  ;v)

ahem, um, er, well... oh, bollox, what the smeg do you say to that?!!

    re .42
    
    w*****s etcetera, good gracious, who let that rude person back in here?
    
    Very bad form, not cricket, disgrace to GAA etc.
    
    Clare will come to a sticky end this year, mark my words.
    
    Also, more crows have flown into Limerick, it is the sort of place that
    attracts them, so there will be plenty for the "Limerick in 96" gang of
    one to eat. 
    
    Kevin
    
     

Kev,

> Cork will get out of Munster in 96

You do mean the footballers don't you?  The hurlers will not
mark my words.  The Dream Team will be just that: a dream!

   James (who's eaten his fair share of crow in the past).

    It is time we rang Paddy Power for an opening show...

Tell you what, I've got the odds at home, contained in a Sunday Indo.
article of a few weeks ago.  I'll try and transcribe the odds sometime
tomorrow.  While we are at it I'll create a specific topic for each of
the big and small ball codes so that the slagging will be confined to
two topics - unlike the present where the slagging is all over the
place.  I can remember who I've been slagging or where :-). 

Limerick are 14/1 FWIW!  Let's say my money isn't burning a huge hole 
in my pocket at the moment at those odds... 

                          James.

    Well now is as good a time to bet as any, its not like the horses, they
    usually run..
    
    BTW Imperial Call (terrible name, nice 'orse) for the Gold Cup, 
    all the way from Killenadrish (?sp) Co Cork
    
    Kevin

4/1 to 6/1 depending upon you ask!

    I'd say I'll take some 6/1. Where is it?
    
    BTW, there is no need to start a new base note to discuss hurling,
    
    the title of this one SAYS IT ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exactly my point, what's Offaly got to do with Hurling?

Re: 6/1

Paddy Power is probably your man!  Mulhollands in town
usually have good odds on things like this but since
I cleaned them out late last year they mightn't be as 
generous as they once were.

                      James.

    
    James.
    
    agree..a change of name for this topic would be a good idea.
    
    What odds are Tipp for this year....Looks like a good Munster battle
    this year...Dublin might be a surprise this year now that they have
    convinced a kilkenny man to jump ship...
    
    Whats galway like???are they still in-fighting
    
    rgs,
    
    mick
    

> Whats galway like???are they still in-fighting
  
I think their troubles are over them, but for how long it
remains to be seen...

It's a very open championship.  My dark horse is Laois!

If Clare can do it, anyone can do it!  Right keV?

Tipp range from 3/1 Fav. to 6/1 depending upon who you go 
to see.

                      James.

First we'll get "De-Double" then we'll go for the "Tree-Peat"

Clare "The HOME of Hurling"    ;-)

James: Saw your homepage, Fair Play. Well Done.

keVin
[Posted by WWW Notes gateway]

    
    
    ..what odds on that..galway 1-28 Offaly 1-1
    
    well well...Now Its been along time Since I heard of a team only
    getting 2 scores in a National leagues Hurling game..football maybe but
    you have to try hard to only get 2 scores...
                                    

    It had to happen in Ballinasloe! 
    
    Not a Dooley on the Offaly team...
    
    Laois (this years dark horses :-)
    only scored 1 point when they played Clare in the All Ireland
    final.
    
    Offaly seem to be loosing their touch alright, but it is early days
    yet...

> Laois (this years dark horses :-)
> only scored 1 point when they played Clare in the All Ireland
> final.

What year was that again Kev?  1914?

Early days, agreed, but it cannot be good for Offaly hurling to
go down to such a heavy defeat with the championship only 3/4
months away!

Limerick are coming nicely I must say!

The article from Cashman isn't forgotten - the problem is getting
30 minutes to type it in.

                    James (two fingered typist).

    
    ...The shame of it...A Portarlington junior darts team would do better!
    Then again Galway might be good...ha!.
    
    Nice to See Tipp on top...
    
    

>    Nice to See Tipp on top...

But will they be there at 5 PM on 1 September 1996?

                     James.

    
    >But will they be there at 5 PM on 1 September 1996?
    
    No, OFFALY WILL!
    
    Laois played Clare the last time Clare won, before last year. 
    
    There is a poster up about it, in the Copper Jug in Ennis, with a
    picture of the Clare team on that day. They were wearing a white strip
    with a green sash, I think.
    
    Kevin                     
    

    Oh genie,
    
    it says in the paper today in a post-mortem that they were calling out
    the scores in Ballinasloe at the game in Ennis, and after it got to
    23-0 the guy in Ennis on the mike refused to announce the scores any
    further as he thought the guy telling him the scores was taking the
    mickey......
    
    whats the song ... played every town in Ireland and once in
    Ballinasloe!
    
    I was there that night. The crowd kept clapping there hands and
    stamping their feet until Christy lost his rag and started doing an
    imitation of Laurence Olivier: 
    
    "What bloody lot is this I see before me
    Clapping their hands and stamping their feet.
    Get thee down to Danny Doyle next week
    ye wretched urchins..."
    
    But why does he sing about the sound of croket on the lawns in
    Cloughjordan?
    
    Kevin
       

Joe Pilkington was on the radio last evening telling the
RTE reporter why they (Offaly) lost by so much.  He came out
with a few gems including:

I didn't even know we were in Ballinasloe until we were
10 points down.

Where the f&8k did he think he was if he wasn't in Ballinasloe?
I know the town is depressing but this is taking it a little
far don't you think?

In Offaly, the word bet seems to have the same meaning as
the word beat has for the rest of us?  Comments Kevin (not
to be confused with keVin)?

                     James.

    What's this about Ballinasloe being depressing? Stop these gratuitous
    insults at once! It is a fine country town, with a choice of banks,
    betting shops, and watering holes. Not to mention the mart, the
    theatre, the show ground, and a rake of Bannerton's with garages. I
    could go on at length ...
    
    I don't know why Pilkington got mixed up. Maybe he confused the Suck
    with the Brosna and thought he was in Lilliput.
    
    Offaly were bet badly, there's no doubt about it; the verb is certainly
    declined irregularly in the county, bet bet bet. 

    >Offaly were bet badly, there's no doubt about it; the verb is certainly
    >declined irregularly in the county, bet bet bet. 
    
    What can you expect from a county whose main attraction
    is a telescope?
    
    ;v) ;v) ;v)

    Ah George,
    
    you have obviously never stood on the suspension bridge in the grounds of 
    the castle with a companion watching for fish in the water..
    
    or wandered for hours exploring the mysteries of Clara bog...
    
    or climbed the castle at Kicoursey where that priest was killed in the
    row
    
    or played 25 long into the night with the lads from the jute factory...
    
    or stood in the park the day they took Sam off Kerry...
                                                           

Re -1

There's a tear in my eye Kev...

What's jute?

jute \'ju:t\ n [Hindi & Bengali ju-t] often attrib  : the glossy fiber of
   either of two East Indian plants (Corchorus olitorius and C. capsularis) of
   the linden family used chiefly for sacking, burlap, and twine; also : a
   plant producing juteJute \'ju:t\ \'ju:t-ish\ n [ME, fr. ML Jutae Jutes] : a
   member of a Low German people invading England from the Continent and
   settling in Kent in the 5th century - Jut.ish aj

    Ut to about 1965 Clara had the second biggest factory in the 26
    counties, Goodbody's Jute Mill. Jute was imported from India and
    processed into sacks, using the water power of the river Brosna.
    
    The Indians put the mockers on jute exports to build up their own
    industry, and Goodboody's went bust. Just about everyone between the
    age of 16-40 left to look for work (There were 3 girls left to walk up
    to the castle :-) and the town was left with more pubs per head of
    population than anywhere else in Ireland. One for every 13 drinkers.
    
    Kevin 

    
    
    Offaly....Nice place indeed..priest killing..gambling..mouching around 
    bogs.. probably the couple on the bridge in the castle looking at the
    fish were poachers...I recall hitching a lift out of tullamore to
    escape back to tipp once..Had to walk over 20 miles..to beyond Birr..got
    over the border into Riverstown and a kind Tipp soul stopped...'at
    least you got out' was his comforting comment...
    
    re Christy's song on Cloughjordan and croket..or whatever its called..
    long story.. Historically the village and hinderland is split on
    a religious basis...2 primary schools..4 different religious churchs..2
    community centres... a few memebers of various Orange lodges...9and
    to cap it all a border with offaly 300 yrds down the road -)).. 
    
    Not sure how unusual that is so far south or the border..I am sure
    there are other areas...I think west laois has a few such pockets
    
    talking about laois..maybe maybe this year...They ahve a solid trainer
    in babs keating so....-) -)
    
    rgs,
    
    mick
    

    Just out of personal interest, why is Offaly known as the faithful
    county?
    
    
    CHARLEY

    
    ..land is so nbad... ..when you walk through it you get your "fate full" 
    of bog water...ok..bad...bad..bad
    
    maybe its Fatefull...
    
    no idea..Must if been a joke..
    

    I actually heard it on the telly during the All-Ireland final a couple
    of years ago when Offaly won.
    
    The commentator kept mentioning Offaly as being the faithful county and I've
    wondered about it ever since.                   
    
    
    CHARLEY

    dunno. Maybe 'cos it used to be called Kings County!

    1502.50
    
       > Imperial Call (terrible name, nice 'orse) for the Gold Cup,
       > all the way from Killenadrish (?sp) Co Cork
    
    That'll do nicely. The Irish are still roaring at Cheltenham, he hacked
    up at 9/2. 
    
    Well done Fergie Sutherland.
    
    I suppose when I collect I shall have to enquire about a price for
    Offaly.
    
    Kevin 

	What will the odds be if/when Clare is relagated to Division 2 ???

	keVin


                   <<< Note 1502.75 by MKTCRV::KMANNERINGS >>>
                             -< were you all on? >-

    1502.50
    
       > Imperial Call (terrible name, nice 'orse) for the Gold Cup,
       > all the way from Killenadrish (?sp) Co Cork
    
    That'll do nicely. The Irish are still roaring at Cheltenham, he hacked
    up at 9/2. 
    
    Well done Fergie Sutherland.
    
    I suppose when I collect I shall have to enquire about a price for
    Offaly.
    
    Kevin 

Re: Gold Cup

Bastard, I got 4/1 on Imperial Call at the local bookies 
on Monday.  It cost me the grand total of 50p (difference
between 4/1 and 9/2 SP)!

                     James.

    Hey you Limerick wimp, you bet 50p?? I know the pay is bad round her
    but you must be off the bottom of the scale.
    
    BIFFO the plastic paddy

     What will the odds be if/when Clare is relagated to Division 2 ???
                              ^^^^
    
    This year 
    
    1/9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
    999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
    9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
    999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
    999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
    999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
    99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
    99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
    99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
    999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
    9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
    
    
    cash business only
    
    BIFFO

        Now there have been a number of slanderous notes put into this
        file about "Offally Hurling". This is exactly what you expect
        from people who do not really understand this ancient and noble
        art.

        Offally footpallers were taught everything they know (and that
        is not much) about hurling by a lapsed priest from Kilkenny. In
        particular he taught them how to hold a hurley; ie the thick part
        is not held in the hand but is put on the ground.

        To complete their extensive generosity Kilkeeny gave them the
        only parish they have where some hurling is understood - namely Sier
        Kieran. Kilkenny priests have been up there for centuries,
        ministering to the heathens, and teaching hurling. Some of this
        knowledge has spilled over into Birr, Camross in Laois,
        Ballinasloe and other heathen spots in South Galway  and also
        Roscrea and Toomevara in Tipp. Just like the faith, it's slowly
        taking root. I also believe Kilkenny are now even exporting
        hurlers to Tipp. Someone has to show those people proper skill,
        not thuggery.
        
        And now those ungrateful wretches try to bit the hands that feed
        them. 

	On the question of "Leinster Hurling" a trip to Kilkenny next
        Sunday appears to be in order.  
       
         MBr
                                         

     >a lapsed priest from Kilkenny
    
    I thought these had all been arrested under the Special Powers Act by
    the RUC?
    
    BIFFO

    Offaly are gone to pot
    
    however, we must congratulate the 15 good loyal and true men from the
    Queen's countie, who subdued the cantankerous and awkward elements from
    Kilkenny, not a difficult task, given the slothful and dissolute
    lifestyle of the latter. 
    
    BIFFO

 >   Kilkenny, not a difficult task, given the slothful and dissolute
 >   lifestyle of the latter.

Do I see touches of cashmanisms in your recent notes?

     >touches of cashmanisms
    
    I agree with you James. The stuff that BIFFO writes is awful drivel. I
    think he is deliberately trying to get up your nose.
    
    Kevin

    What.?......BIFFO THE BEAR ?
    
    Shaun.

    > THE BEAR ?
    
    Three hurlers, one from Tip, one from Kilkenny and one from Limerick
    set off on a five mile training jog in a straight line travelling due south.
    They met a bear, living in its natural environment, and killed the poor 
    creature. They then made a turn and carried the bear five miles in a
    straight line due west, and then they eat the bear. They made another
    turn and travelled 5 miles due north, back to where they started from.
    A few hours later they died of indigestion.
    
    What colour was the bear ?
    
    BIFFO
         

    White.
    
    John

    I never did like spherical trigonometry, but that doesn't mean
    I couldn't do it.

You're a right card BIFFO, aren't you.

I guest the bear was Green, White and Gold (Orange)?

                  James.

    Offaly 4-17         Laois 2-10.....
    
        a hammering.
    
    There was really nothing surprising about this, a nice little training
    outing really. What was remarkable was the fact that a number of
    commentators, including visitors to this file, were sufferring severe
    halucinations and predicting a Laois victory. The revenge of
    Ballinasloe must now be high on the agenda.  
    
    Regarding the Munster Final... 
    
    The Offaly people prefer to watch quality hurling and not the dreadful
    hurly burlies which go on in southern parts.  Why don't you tune into
    the Test Match on the TV, Mr Keyes?
    
    BIFFO
         

>        a hammering.

Go ahead and keep deluding yourself (and all the other BIFFOs too)
Kevin, that will suit the real hurlers of Limerick and Tipperary just
fine.  The win over Laois can only be classified as a bad joke.  That
second goal of Offaly's was right out of Laurel and Hardy. 

Keep putting your money on Offaly too!  Your 50p's will keep the odds
on Limerick artifically high and allow me to pay off my house in
double quick time.  Wait a minute: why don't you just give me your
money right now, Kevin, and save you the hassle of going to the
bookies with it? 

                          James.

    You are whistling in the dark, James. You know in your heart that
    Offaly are a class team who produced another class performance. They
    are capable of reducing moderate teams to tears in the space of seven
    minutes, as Limerick well know. 
    
    On the subject of investments, I am quite happy about the Daniel I have
    had on Offaly at 5/1. Limerick are bad value at 7/2. They have 3 games
    in front of them, and given their miserable record, they will start as
    outsiders, at least even money. 7/1 would be a fair price, but it is
    money down the drain anyway so I agree with you that the price is not
    important. 
    
     

>    Offaly are a class team who produced another class performance. They
>    are capable of reducing moderate teams to tears in the space of seven
>    minutes, as Limerick well know. 

Kev,

Old buddy, you seem to have a selective memory (as we all do).  Do you not
remember early last September, or is that too painful to recall?  Clare
were no world beaters yet they beat ye after giving away two very soft
goals?  Limerick have nothing to fear from Offaly come September.  But
we know Tipperary have first to be disposed off before we can start
thinking of sunny days in Dublin in September.

BTW: I only deal in Douglas's, Daniel's are for small punters ;-).  Green
in more ways than one?

                         James.

    What a blatherer you are James. By your own admission you had a miserly
    snipe on the coup of the year and now you are boasting:
    
   >>>>> Re: Gold Cup
    
    Bastard, I got 4/1 on Imperial Call at the local bookies
    on Monday.  It cost me the grand total of 50p (difference
    between 4/1 and 9/2 SP)!
    
                         James.
          
    Betting on hurling or football is not really a proposition on account
    of the tax, which is a significant proportion at 10% of evens and quite
    ridiculous when you bet odds on, which class teams like Offaly usually
    are.  
    
    Now what is going to win the Digital Galway Plate this year?? I had a
    danny on Kelly's Pearl at 20/1 last year and was miffed when the stable
    companion won and it came second. 
    
    Kevin

    Um, which county won the O'Byrne cup then?  
    
    And I see Tipp got tupped at the hurling.
    
    Must have a bet on the O-O double this year.
    
    The crowtown kid reports that Gary Kirby scored a goal from a 20 yard
    free. He has been studying Johnny Dooley videos, I guess.
    
    BIFFO

    
    
    Tipp were just there for the practice. Long hot Summer to come yet. 
    
    Limerick winning in the last minute must be a bit of a shock ok..
    
    What about the horses ?
    
    Mick

    re horses
    
    stay off em. The ground has dried out and that turns the form book
    upside down, unless you know one which is a top of the ground horse.
    Klarion davies, another winner last year, got stuffed in the Champion
    chase today. Hold your money and just do a few entertainment bets.

    Vintage Offaly performance  sees off Wexford, was the headline in the
    Irish Times. The Dooley boys got 12 pints.
    
    we are goin' for the dubble, right!
    
    BIFFO