Conference tallis::celt

      
                               :-)

    Dennis,
           can you not understand the 'Queen's English' and are you going
    to Nice to the ONC the week after next,
    
    Rgds
    
    Gareth

    Gareth,
    
    Where did you find the sense of humour! Have you any more of those
    little ditties, why not make the next one a little more political?
    
    Dermot
    
    PS Gareth says to add the fact that I am actually a "Feinian" but that 
    he talks to me anyhow!

OK Dermot,
          here is one by the same author with a bit of politics:

THE REBEL RECORD PLAYER

Wee Willie John McFadyean was a loyal Orange 'Prod',
And he thought that Ian Paisley was just one step down from God.
He thought they ate the 'childer' in the backwoods of Ardoyne,
And he knew that history started with the battle of the Boyne!

One night he took a brick in hand, and he wandered up the 'Falls'.
He was mutterin' 'Up the Rangers!' and humming 'Derry's Walls!'
He bust a big shop window, to annoy the Pope of Rome
And he took a record-player out and then he staggered home.

Next night they held a 'hooley' in the local Orange Hall
And Willie took his record player to make music at the ball.
He chose a stack of records of a very Loyal kind,
But when the music started up he nearly lost his mind!

For the Fenian record-player was a rebel to the core,
It played the tunes that Orange Halls had never heard before.
For 'Derry's Walls' and 'Dolly's Brae' it didn't give a fig,
And it speeded up 'God Save the Queen' till it sounded like a jig!

It played the 'Boys of Wexford' and 'The Wearing of the Green'.
Such turmoil in an Orange Hall had never yet been seen.
It played the 'Woods of Upton' and 'The Men of '98',
But when it played 'The Soldier's Song' it sealed wee Willie's fate.

For the boys went clean demented - to the ground was Willie thrown,
And they kicked his ribs in one by one to the tune of 'Garryowen'.
They threw him out the window to 'A Song of Old Sinn Fein',
And they kicked him all down Sandy Row to 'A Nation Once Again!'

Wee Willie's up in Purdysburn -  he's crazy as a coot,
He just sits there in his padded cell and tootles on his flute,
And when he tries to play 'The Sash' he always gets it wrong,
For halfway through he always finds he's playing 'The Soldier's Song'.

There's a moral to this story - what it is I cannot say,
It may be just the ancient one that crime will never pay.
If you ask wee Will McFadyean he says, 'Ah crime be blowed!'
'If you want to pinch a record-player do it up the Shankhill Road!'
 
Gareth

 re. .4

  Isn't that the Fenian Record Player, sung by the Irish Brigade.

  My personal favorite would be Coalisland Calypso.

                      Mark

re. .5


Mark,
     good so see you have a sense of humour, maybe we should 
stick to this note and leave the messy stuff to the politicians,

8>). 

Hope you had a good holiday

Here's another and where are yours!

rgds

Gareth

THE YOUNG REBEL

( This can be sung to the air: 'Down by the Green Bushes')

As I was a-walking through Belfast one day
I met a young a rebel who to me did say,
'I bet you a "fiver" one thing you won't try!
Wear your sash up the "Falls" on the 12th of July'.

Says I, "My young shaver I bet you I will'.
Says he, 'If you do then it's you they will kill
For there's one thing to do if you're ready to die -
Wear your sash up the "Falls" on the 12th of July'.

So I walked up the 'Falls' from beginning to end.
With my sash on my back I was greeted a friend
I collected my 'fiver' and still didn't stop 
With my sash on my back and my coat on the top!!!

'Now, says I my young rebel 'now here's my reply'.
'You can have your cash back if three things you will try'
'Shout "Up the Republic!" and "The Border must go!" '
'And " To hell with King Billy!" going down Sandy Row!'

'Ah', says he, 'sure that's easy ! I'll do it today!'
And I prayed for his soul as he wandered away.
He was back in an hour (without the police)
And to my surprise he was still in one piece!

So I gave him his money and shook him by the hand
And said. 'How did you you do it, for I don't understand?'
'If you shouted those things they'd have kicked you to death!'
Ah', says he, 'Sure I shouted them under my breath!.

Now the moral of this story is plain to be seen.
There are many smart fellows, both Orange and Green.
Be it St. Pat's day or the 12th of July
If you play with the head, sure you'll always get by!

  I figured I'd put this joke in the humour section, where it belongs.

                      Mark



RTw  4/8/95 4:45 PM British Intelligence Foiled Plot Against Adams

                         *********************************



              British Intelligence Foiled Plot Against Adams

RTw 4/8/95 4:45 PM

    LONDON, April 9 (Reuter) - British intelligence agents foiled a plot by
IRA hardliners to assassinate Sinn Fein President Gerry Adams, the Observer
newspaper said on Sunday.

     The newspaper, citing security sources, said the assassination was
planned by dissidents in the Irish Republican Army who were angered by a
ceasefire called by the guerrilla group last year in its fight to oust
Britain from Northern Ireland.

     The sources said the plotters were kept under surveillance until just
minutes before the attempt was to take place in January against Adams,
leader of the IRA's political wing.

     Early warnings had been received by Britain's MI5 security agency, the
paper said.

     "A faction of IRA people in South Armagh (the border county known as
"Bandit Country") had been determined to wipe Adams out because they
thought he was leading them nowhere. The thing was uncovered and dealt
with," one source said.

     Adams has accused the British government of stalling the peace process
in Northern Ireland, now enjoying its first protracted ceasefire in the
25-year conflict that took more than 3,000 lives.
  REUTER

    >LONDON, April 9 (Reuter) - British intelligence agents foiled a plot by
    
    I think you received this press release 8 days too late.
    
    Tony.