Conference tallis::celt

		21 February 1896 - 23 July 1990

	Translated from the Budapest Glumpf (Daily):

	GOULASHIKY (HP) -  After a long battle with a dreaded disease
		with a short name, the world renowned Korff Barbunk was
		suddenly attacked by two Kalbaso sausages disguised as
		shaved marmasettes attired as wealthy Albanian brain
		surgeons.  Mr. Barbunk died shortly after when proctologists
		were unable to remove a speeding Brabant from his lower 
		extremities.

			   The two sausages were interrogated with a comfy
		chair and dish rack, but authorities were unable to grasp
		any meat from the suspects.  It was revealed by an
		unidentified pork producer that Kalbaso sausages, and for 
		that matter all sausages, take a vow of silence after
		joining PUKE (Permanent Underground Kalbaso Extortion ring).

			   Funeral services will be held in leading rest-
		aurants and BBQ stands.

			   Mr. Barbunk gained has renownedness through
		skilful guile and cunning stealth, amassing the world's
		largest collection of used gravestones before the age of
		12 years.  He is survived by his wife who pre-deceased him,
		and a custard pie.

			   Donations will be accepted at any public lavatory.

					- 0 -

    "Unscathed by inspired lunacy" you say?
    

Just read this from the Oshawa Enquirer and Mail:


	BUDAPEST (HP) -  The well known shoe manufacturer and sausage
		eater, Babalovski Bata has acquired the large colon of
		the renowned Korff Barbunk.  Mr. Barbunk, recently
		deceased due to rectal eruptive convulsions, possessed
		a late model Brabant (in mint condition) in his large
		colon, the result of a high speed chase by two wealthy
		Albanian brain surgeons who, according to a custard pie
		interviewed at the scene, looked suspiciously like
		members of the dreaded Kolb�sz sausage ring.

			 Mr. Bata, wearing a fine example of his excellent
		shoes and a salivating slug for a tie, indicated that
		Mr. Barbunk's estate and his surviving wife, who is yet
		to be buried, would donate part of his colon containing
		the Brabant to the Oshawa Automotive Museum and not to
		the one in Sarnia.  No one willing to admit that they
		were from Sarnia was available for comment, but a loud
		report of projectile flatus was heard.

			This unexpected gift to the citizens of Oshawa
		will be known as the Korff Barbunk Memorial Semi-colon
		and Brabant, instead of the earlier-proposed title of
		Korff's Guts.  When asked how much this treasure was
		worth, Mr. Bata who is still alive and who has a very
		large nose, replied, "Hey, it's worth either your salary
		for a year or my nose stuffed with Loonies.  It's your
		choice".  Mr. Bata was soon escorted from the scene with
		a bloody nose and complaining of stuffy sinuses, his tie
		was found on the menu of a local French restaurant.

He's alive!!  He lives!!

This is fanatastic news, I just heard it on the 60 metre band of my
short wave radio.  Apparently, it was a clandestine broadcast from the 
brain cell of Knarf Knute, bodyguard and personal vibrator to Korff.

This is the jist of the broadcast (the transmission was being partially
jammed by unknown purveyors of spicy meats):

"....@%^^%%^%$&*(...izz most untrue.  We are safe here in...&^%%^
 ...so many butcher's aprons and me mum's knickers.  I want all the
world...*&^#@%^&+=_*^%$@#$%^...by the balls and other ceremonial
manifestations of monarchial rule.  Please...*%$#@!#%&**&&^%$##@$%#@!
...release me and let me go until...*$%%$#@#!@%%^...orgasm is a phrase
that they used often in the description of certain clinical procedures
here at the University of Tuktoyuktuk...affectionately referred to as
Tuk U...&&%%&^*()((^^#!@^%$*&%%&...Korff Barbunk, the renowned clinician,
inventor of Glumpf and creamed lemming on toast has...*$%^&*%$$^&%^(*(^
)*&*^$$!$^$*^&(*...been seen alive and is living in Peoria along with
his...^&#!@*^$*&^(*(*&)*^%^$$...wife who predeceased him, and a mouldy
custard pie...(@^&&*(%^&^&%*(&)(*&%$##@#@##$%#$%$...were off-loaded
at the Oshawa Automotive Museum and not in Sarnia along with...!!@#$%^&&
#%@!%#$%&^*&^&^*%%@$*^^^**^&(#@#!#!$@#%)+&%#...a perforated large colon
and..(&^!~*&^()+)+)*%%#%@#!#~@~^$%&^(&...a Brabant in mint condition..."

At that point, I lost the transmission but there you have it, people out
there in vacuum-land.  Korff lives!

    
    
    
    Pat: Have you been playing goalie without your hockey helmet again ?? :-)
    
    
    
    	keVin
    
    
    p.s. I'm also very very happy to hear that Korff is still with us.  ;-)
    

    <<Pat: Have you been playing goalie without your hockey helmet again ?? :-)

	No, but I was playing face-tennis with my kids...I lost.    
    
    
    <<p.s. I'm also very very happy to hear that Korff is still with us.  ;-)

	Korff who??

	Tap