Conference tallis::celt

338.0. "O'Reilly for U.S. President :-)" by DPDMAI::OREILLY (Oh Really?.........No, O'Reilly!) Mon Mar 07 1988 16:47

                                                      
    
    Tomorrow I must make a decision in the "Super-Tuesday" primary in
    Texas.  There are no worthwhile candidates in my opinion; so why
    go for it myself?!
                      
    
    
    Write-in John O'Reilly for U.S. President!!!!!!!!!
    
    
    
    What would I do, for you, my possible constituents?
    
    Pub Development Programs:
    
    0  Major Tax Benefits for Pubs offering draught Guinness (benefit
       is the increase in health for the population)
       
    0  Major tax benefits for small neighborhood Pubs like those of
       the 1950's (benefit is safer highways and more family togetherness)
    
    0  States  would no longer have control over their liquor laws.
       This would end problems across the Southern U.S. which has so called
       dry areas (this candidate currently deals with such laws and
       personally has seen the suffering).
                                         
    0  Irish Wolfhounds would be allowed in Pubs.  The IW's would promote
       a spirit of moderation, love and togetherness.
                                                                    
    Joint Ireland/U.S. Development programs:
    
    0  Remove current restrictions for Irish emigrating from Eire to
       the U.S.  Since the Irish are among the best we could have-why
       limit their numbers here?
    
    0  Help Ireland improve it's economy.
    
    0  Implement a national "Ireland Awareness" program.
    
    0  Change the U.S. National Anthem to the Notre Dame Fight Song.
                                                                    
    0  Large Tax Benefits for companies establishing operations in Ireland
       or relocating operations to Ireland.
    
    
    Irish Wolfhound Ideas:
    
    0  IW's will be my diplomats.
    
    0  If their are two groups in opposition - arm each group with plenty
       of Wolfhounds.  Hostilities will end immediately.
    
    0  Wolfhounds will improve our morals.  With Wolfhounds in every
       home teaching respect, love and loyalty; we areq bound to improve
       in those areas.  In addition, our helath will improve with the
       calming influence of IW's.
    
    0  We will work with the Irish government to influence the incredible
       lack of these noble IW's in their native country of Ireland.
     
    
    
    The above are just a few of this candidate's ideas; this candidate
    could use some more ideas.  Please submit your ideas in this note.
    
    
    
    
    
    Remember:
    
    As many Candidate's campaign managers over the years have been quoted, 
    "Ask not how this candidate will realize his promises, ask how he came up
    with the ludicrous ideas in the first place".
                  
    Yours as Truly as any candidate has been in the past,
    JO'R

    Hmmm,
    
    Wonder how Doonesbury would handle that!
    
    Jimmy