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Conference tallis::celt

Title:Celt Notefile
Moderator:TALLIS::DARCY
Created:Wed Feb 19 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jun 03 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1632
Total number of notes:20523

179.0. "news anyone?" by TALLIS::DARCY (George @Littleton Mass USA) Thu Apr 16 1987 01:03

    A fellow walks into a shop in Galway to buy a newspaper
    and the lady shopkeeper asks him "What can I do for ya?"
    
    "I'd like to buy a newspaper", the man replies.
    
    The lady asks, "Would you like today's or yesterday's?"
    
    "Well today's of course", he retorts.
    
    "Then come back tomorrow", says she.
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179.1Write it down, it's a good one.ENGGSG::BURNSIs it right or left for Gibraltar ?Thu Apr 16 1987 11:0521
    
    
    	That reminds me of the "Kerryman" who was told by his doctor,
        
        "For relaxation, you should go out and play 32 holes"



                                    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    	So the Kerryman went out and bought a harmonica !!!!
179.2When intercontinental travel was novelDUBSWS::D_OSULLIVANWe're not stopping before Park Gate StreetWed Apr 22 1987 13:0316
    This one will probably go over the heads of all non-Limerick people.
    Some years back when the first transatlantic flights started the
    yank was been driven into Limerick in a taxi.  He began to wave
    about his copy of the New York Times saying "Hey Pal, isn't that
    really fantastic; I've got this morning's NY Times here in Limerick
    this afternoon.  The taxi driver wasn't in the least impressed and
    picked up a copy of the local paper and said "Sure that's nothing,
    here's tomorrow's Limerick Leader today!"
    
    --Dermot
    
    P.S.  Explaining jokes doesn't make them funny, but the Limerick
    Leader, a weekly paper is available on Thursdays although it has
    a Friday date.