Conference tallis::celt

72.0. "Cricket anyone ??" by ENGGSG::BURNS (It's a long way from Clare to here) Tue Sep 09 1986 15:39

	_ copied without permission from the VOGON news service ___


Re: Info on Cricket 

In VNS, 7 August (#1128), Cynthia Willard asked about CRICKET.  About
95% of the world's population play cricket, so the game is really no
mystery, but for the 5% who are American citizens (and play  **World
Series** baseball), a comparison of the two games may be of interest. 

A cricket ball is like a baseball, except that the seam fits your
fingers, while the baseball seam was designed by a jig-saw-puzzle
manufacturer.  A cricket bat is as long as a baseball bat with a flat
face as wide as an English muffin.  The baseball bat is round in order
to fit in a standard US Post Office mailing tube.

A cricket ball is bowled between the ankles of the batsman at a target
called a "wicket", made up of three wooden poles.  In baseball, everyone
pretends the target hangs in mid-air just behind the batter, because a
real target might fall over and injure someone, resulting in a lawsuit.

A cricket ball is bowled 42% faster than a baseball, even though a
Scientific American article proved the opposite, because of confusion in
converting from the common British unit of speed, Chains-per-Fortnight. 

The official description of cricket was discovered in a Roman villa in
Middlesex called the "Oval", which is where all cricket commentators 
live, and is still in use today: 

CRICKET - the definitive description

You have two sides, one out in the field, and one in.  Each man that's
in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in, and the
next man that's in goes out.  The side that's out tries to get each man
that's in out each over, or the other man that's in out every other
over, except when the two that are in change ends during an over. 

The side that's out tries to get the side that's in out before all the
overs are over, then the side that's in is all out except for the man
who is still in and not out.  Otherwise the innings is over when all the
overs are over, then you get two men still in and not out. 

When they are all out, the side that's out comes in, and the side that's
been in goes out, and tries to get those coming in out.  When both sides
have been in and out, including the not outs, that's the end of the game. 

    I think a good description of Cricket is pro-Irish, because it
    certainly is anti-English.
    That description must have been good, I fell asleep twice reading
    it.  That is about par for 5 minutes of cricket.
    Hell - I don't like baseball either.
    Phil

    Any CELT related topic (even loosely related) discussed in this notesfile
    is fine by me :-)  Be it cricket or whatever...  
    
    BTW, I saw Cricket in Ireland (England vs India) and I had
    no clue what was going on!  Maybe I'll learn something here.
    
    Regards,
    George
    
    p.s.  There's a Great Britain notesfile begun, similar to this format.
    You can add it by hitting KP7.