Conference rocks::weight_control

    Thanks for sharing your story, Sue.  Glad to see you here.
    
    D!

    That was really great to read.  Thank you for sharing.  It does give me
    inspiration.  
    
    
    Thanks
    
    
    
    Donna

    Thanks for the incouragments. (my keyboard does not how to spell)
    I have my days let me tell you.
    Some days I'm so sick of hearing people say " stop your getting toooo 
    thin," or " stop your making the rest of us look bad."
    I'll know when it's time for me stop loosing and to maintain.
    But on the other had I get a good feeling when people do comment on
    the change in me.
    
    There are so meny things that I have noticed and there are a lot of
    things that I have forgotten about.
    
    The other night I decided to take a Bath. Not just a shower but get the
    book out and find the bubble bath, bath.  I had forgotten what how good
    it fealt to be completly covered by the water.  It's the small things
    in life that I now look forward to enjoying again.
    Swimming and not having to wear a t shirt over the suit.
    Fitting in the tub.
    Not have my panty hose wear out between the legs first.
    Getting a pair of 12 jeans AND THEY FIT.
    Running up 3 fight of stairs and not collaps at the top.
    But with all these good feelings how come some days I don't 
    think I have ever lost a single lbs. I still feel fat, bloated and
    very unatractive?  I don't know the answer for that one.
    Thank goodness these days don't happen all to often.
    For 99% of the time i am on a rediscovery trip that overwelms me.
    
    Thanks for letting me get that of my chest.
    
    Suzanne
    

    Suzanne, it is encouraging to hear about your weight loss; but for me
    the most encouraging thing is to hear about your emoional healing.  You
    talked about the sadness, etc...and it sounds like you are finding your
    way out of that.
    
    So when people tell you you are too thin, or when are you going to stop
    "dieting" you can know it isn't about the weight, it is about *life*.
    
    D!, gratefully recovering one day at time

    Wow! Sue, what success. Good for you.
    I agree with D! too, it's the emotional healing that is important too.
    I think you are doing great.
    
    hannah

I'm brand new to this conference and your note, Sue, was the first I read.  Very
much in tune with where I'm at.  I don't understand what meetings you referred
to.  Can you explain?

Linda (ready to lose this weight!) Thibodeau

    HI,
    The meetings I was talking about are OA.
    I love these meetings and miss them when I cant go.  BUT with reading
    these notes here and in progress, and eating disorders. I have learned
    more about health and general nutrition then OA could ever teach me.
    It's here in these files with all of you that I have really grown.
    I am apstinent with my sugar 100% and have been for 8 months, but not
    the flour, For me its not a bing food. Also only 1 gram of fat in a 
    bagle, my apstinence is one that I have given myself for myself.
    There is no candy, chips, no HIGH fat foods on the list.
    Maybe its harder then no sugar no flour.
    If there is ever any questions on what it is that I have that you would
    like to have feel free to call me or write to me of line any time.
    
    Love and Sanity to one and all.
    suzanne
    

    Hi it's me I'm still here and have learned something about myself
    that made me sit up and WOW...
    Im one of the O/A meetings I was listening to the speaker when all
    of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. 
    
    
    <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<I KNOW WHY>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    
    
    I'll give a short story here.
    It seams to me I was abandoned by my father at the age of 3.
    Mom had to go to work to support use. 
    I was sent to verious people to be Baby sat.
    Wen to live with my grandparents, Gran hated me beat me most of the
    time mom lived another town and only visited with her every other
    weekend for a few hours.
    Then mom got remarried. Now I have a family (mom & dad) along comes
    sister. I hated her becouse I no longer had a family to myself. I had
    to share again.
    Got pregnent at the age of 17. Spent a lot of time with the shrink
    trying to convince them that I was going to keep this baby becouse
    there will be some one who wants and needs me.
    
    And it's the   " wants and needs me" part that hit me.
    
    So when the marriage broke up, The no one wanted me feelings came over
    me. I eat I get fat I have a reason for no one wanting me.
    
    Now that I know why I have to learn to heal that void in my heart.
    My son who is 18 now is the love of my life.
    But I know that there is something missing in me and now I have to seak 
    the road to this recovery.
    
    I wonder what the next    WHY   will bring me and what new road i'll
    have to travel to heal that wound.
    
    But it feels good to finerly know..
    
    Thanks one and all for listening to my ramblings..
    
    
    love to all 
    suzanne
    

    I think thats wonderful!  Finding out why you behave the way you do was
    the first step in recovery for me-ie losing the weight and being a 
    healthier you.  I have been through the same process and it can be scary
    at times. I now go *through* my feelings (fears, anger, lonliness,
    happiness) and come out the other side much better.  I was stuffing a
    lot of my feelings, and it did a lot of damage.
    
    Good luck to you on your journey.
    
    
    Donna

    Hello Suzanne,
    
    I have been reading your notes and rooting for you along the way.  I'm
    sending along those infamous electronic hugs and congratulatons.
    
    I'm willing to bet that now, realizing what the root cause is, the end
    results will be fantastic.
    
    Thanks for being open and sharing with us.
    
    Pauline