Conference rocks::weight_control

687.0. "Positive Language" by TLE::TLE::D_CARROLL (A woman full of fire) Sat Jul 27 1991 01:38

    I've been working on something for the past couple of weeks that I
    thought might be helpful to others in here, so I thought I would share
    it.
    
    The traditional "diet language" is very emotionally laden and
    judgemental.  Not sticking to the diet is called "cheating", which we
    are taught from an early age is *bad*, or "breaking the diet", or
    straying or not being faithful, or any other number of negative terms. 
    When we refer to days in which he haven't stuck to the diet, we say "we
    were bad yesterday", or conversely, when we stuck to it, we say "we
    were good yesterday"...as if how much we ate reflected on our
    worthwhileness as people!!  We use words like failure and success, good
    and bad, etc that have implicit value judgements on ourselves.  Even
    the word "diet" carries a lot of baggage - the word itself connotes
    deprivation and loss.
    
    I noticed this and decided to *stop*.  For the past couple of weeks,
    rather than saying "I was good/bad yesterday" I say "I stayed on program
    yesterday" or "I went off program yesterday."  It seems silly to alter
    your internal language, but for me, it really helped in my efforts not
    to beat myself up for "mistakes", to not make my self-esteem dependent
    on my weight-loss, and to remember that whatever happens, I am *always*
    *good*, regardless of whether I am lighter or heavier.
    
    D!

    Sounds like something I should try.  I know exactly what you mean.
    Cheating, dieting....all those words make me cringe.  I like the way 
    Weight Watchers refers to their program.  It's not a diet...it's eating
    for life.

    Yup, when one is not eating right, they are not 'bad'.  But... if one
    is trying to do something and does, there is a goodness/baddness
    involved.  It is not the person who is good/bad buy their eating.

    In other words, I would NOT say "I was good last weekend, I hope I am
    not bad next"  I could say... "I ate well last weekend" or "I chose my
    foods [followed my diet] badly yesterday".  

    I try to think that when I try to do something, it is good that I
    succeed not that I am good that I succeed.

    Amy

    (Did anyone notice that I tried to write this positively?  I had to
    delete all my negative sentences and rewrite them... that probably says
    something! :)