| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 644.1 | One bite leads to the next | MILPND::PIMENTEL | | Mon Feb 04 1991 20:36 | 15 |
| Linda, I feel for you. I think you are right. He can't stick
to his program so he's trying to get you to break yours. I think
he may be scared. He doesn't know what will happen when you get
thin because other men may be interested in you and then he may
loose you. He feels with you being "fat" no one will look at you!
Something I had to say to my husband was "You don't understand, but
I have to do what I have to do for me. Perhaps someday you will
understand." My husband is totally supportive now.
Good luck and keep on program. You are right, one bite leads to the
next.
Mary
|
| 644.2 | Explain how you feel | SSGV01::VERGE | | Mon Feb 04 1991 22:10 | 16 |
| Just keep telling him that YOU need to control and choose what you
eat; and that YOU are going to stick with it.
Also, in a calm(er) moment, ask him if he realizes that he appears
to be sabtogaing you, and tell him that you really need the support,
even if that means not pushing food at you. Show him the program,
how it works, what you are allowed. If you plan a special treat into
the week, tell him about it - what it is, why you choose THAT treat
(be it food, or otherwise - a manicure, a bubblebath, etc.)
Enlist his help in a strong way - and try NOT to refer to his
not sticking to his diet.
Hope all this helps - keep up the good work - you're doing great!
Val
|
| 644.3 | | VAXCAT::RKE | Polysyllabic Pussycat | Tue Feb 05 1991 11:15 | 28 |
|
I can tell you, it's very, very difficult being on the recieving end
of somebody else's diet. Gail, has been on several 'sensible' diets
(low fat high fibre, Weight watchers) often for several months at a
time, she often loses quite alot, but in so doing, it can really stress
the household. Gail has usually given up her diets when the stress
becomes intolerable. She is currently pursuing wieghtwatchers, and she
is loosing, 30 lbs to date, still someway to go, but she is positive
and achieving, and there is little stress. Why?
It isn't too hard to understand, one, she give me the mental picture of
the sexy slim woman that would rise phoenix like from this beachball
like person that I live with now. Two she pursuaded number two daughter
and then me to do wieghtwatchers with her.
Once I had the vision, I wanted her to be slim as much as she did, that
ment that I had to swallow (no pun) some of the differences in our
lifestyle that WW imposes. (like starvation 90% of the time 8^).
Now that I am doing WW at work, I understand all the trials and
tribulations that both Gail and daughter went, and are going through.
The bottom line is that you have to do something different if you are
going to lose wieght, you will have to keep doing something different
if you are to remain slim. Every change causes stress, not only
you, but the people around you have to cope with that stress. It
sounds like you're doing the right thing, he'll get there in the end.
Richard.
|
| 644.4 | | JANUS::JUBB | Alison, DTN: 830-6779, REO2-GD8 | Tue Feb 05 1991 15:19 | 28 |
| Hi Linda,
Congratulations on losing those 15 pounds, and keeping to plan in spite
of all that temptation!
I think you are right when you say your husband is sabotaging you because he
can't stick to his own diet. There is something about succeeding in losing
weight that makes those around you who would like to lose weight, but are
not succeeding feel bad, and trying to sabotage you is one way of trying
to make themselves feel better...
Presenting your husband with a vision of the future you, as Richard
suggests, may well help. I have done this with my boyfriend, (I only
realised what I had been doing when I read Richard's note). Like your
husband, he "likes me as I am", so I have told him that I will be much
sweeter tempered when I am getting ready to go out if my favourite outfits
FIT! That seems to work better ;-)
In the past he has helped me lose track, by bringing me sweets and cakes,
so at the beginning of the year, I told him how much I like it when he
brings flowers, books, etc.., and although I like chocolates, I would like
his help to stop eating them (except on very special occasions). I think
it helped that I asked him this outside the context of him giving me sweets.
I hope some of this helps (it has taken me several attempts to find the
best ways to deal with saboteurs... I know it is not easy!). Good luck,
Ali
|
| 644.5 | I know the feeling | LUNER::MACKINNON | | Fri Feb 08 1991 16:57 | 32 |
|
Linda,
Pat yourself on the back for remaining on track and loosing the 15.
When I was on WW my boyfriend was very supportive of me. By the middle
of it though he started giving me some pressure. I did not let him get
to me with it. Sure it was hard, but I did it for ME.
One of the things I used to do when he would bring home junk food which
was a red light food for me was to throw it away. Sure it is wasting
food, but it got it out of the house. Luckily I only had really one
red light food which was and still is chips. Once he realized that
I was throwing out the chips and the money he spent on them, he stopped
bringing them into the house. I will still find chip wrappers in my
car, but at least I was not the one to down the bag.
Exercise really is where he prefers to sabotage me on. He is very fit,
plays hockey every day, referees hockey 5 days a week part time. I
on the other hand am just not as fit as he. So when I get on the bike
and stay on for as long as I can without really dying, he tells me that
I do not spend enough time on it. Nothing I do in a form of exercise
is good enough exercise for him. It gets annoying constantly having
to remind him that I am not him, and that my body is not his.
Hang in there. You will succeed if you just keep reminding yourself
that this is something you want to do for yourself, not for anyone
else.
Take care,
Michele
|
| 644.6 | | ACESMK::CHELSEA | Mostly harmless. | Tue Mar 05 1991 05:58 | 2 |
| You might want to look up a book called "Weight, Sex and Marriage." I
forget the name of the author.
|
| 644.7 | He's Learning (and so am I) | SWSEIS::WHALEN | | Mon Mar 11 1991 20:01 | 14 |
| Well, I'm happy to say things have gotten better. Since I placed
this initial note, I've learned to say "no" and not be resentful
about it. Also, my husband has eased off on pushing the food on
me. He still brings it into the house, but it doesn't bother me.
He no longer says "oh, you can have this". He respects the fact
that I've stuck with it, and he's proud of me.
He still hasn't started his diet yet, but I don't say anything
to him about it. It's his body, his choice, and no matter what
choice he makes, I love him!!
Linda
Down 25 1/2
26 1/2 left to lose!
|