Conference rocks::weight_control

    Sylvia, I know EXACTLY what you're talking about.  After being on
    Weight Watchers for about 6 months (and losing about 40 lbs) I found
    myself totally emotional, weepy, and depressed all the time.  I had no
    idea what to do with my emotions except overeat, and I refused to do that,
    so I made an appointment with EAP and had them recommend a therapist. 
    I've been in individual therapy now for about 8 months and it's been
    WONDERFUL (and painful and horrifying and difficult).  It's the best
    thing I've ever done for myself besides joining Weight Watchers!
    
    The way I look at it, I am overweight for an "emotional/psychological"
    reason, and just losing weight isn't going to be enough.  I have to fix
    my poor little psyche, too.  So... when I hit goal (68.5 lbs from now)
    I'll be READY for maintenance.
    
    Well, I hope this helps.  I recommend that you talk to a
    professional.  That's what they're there for!  And EAP is a great
    help in selecting one.  My EAP person contacted me a month into therapy
    to make sure that we had a good match.  Now that is follow-through!
    
    Good luck!  I hope you feel better.  Send mail if you'd like to chat...
    Kay
                               

    Kay,
    
    Thank you for your kind words--as a matter of fact I have already
    contacted EAP because I am having marital problems (everyone else's
    husband looks at other women when their wives GAIN weight).  Although
    my marriage was the main reason for seeking help, I think I will
    be able to get a lot of my own problems resolved through therapy.
    
    I would like to chat, I'm at LIO, what about you?  
    
    I feel better just knowing that I am not alone.  Thank you again
    for reaching out and sharing your own experience.
    
    Sylvia
    

    I second the EAP/counseling route.  One of the best pieces of advice
    my counselor ever gave me is:

    "At any given moment, I am doing the best I can."

    I am slowly getting better at taking the humps out of my roller
    coaster.  FWIW, after 6 months of counseling my marriage and life are
    starting to come back together.  I found that a lot of my eating was
    tied into "getting back" at my spouse for things he didn't even know
    about.  He is slowly finding out and it is a struggle but at least it
    is progress and I like myself a lot more now.

    Not only loosing the weight but to tell your body hey I'm thinking
    thinner and the more I think thin the more my mind will except it
    and try to make the adjustments for your body only remembers what
    you used to weight not what you weigh now.But to get counseling
    is a very wise idea and very helpful to understand what you are
    tring to adjust too.One day at a time that's what it takes and that
    is how you should think about it.So keep up the chin and keep plugging
    at it and it will happen.For as you think, you become. Best of luck
    Don Allen

    Boy, do I identify with this note and all the replies.  Ever since
    I was a child, I have stuffed down my feelings with food.  I always
    felt I was in a no win situation with my Dad, so I didn't fight- I
    ate which was my revenge on him.  He hated the fact that I was heavy
    and there was nothing he could do but ridicule me.  My response -
    get even and eat more.  In high school, I was usually 50-60 pounds
    overweight (weighed even more than my Dad!).   My Dad died young
    of a heart attack (wasn't even 50 years old).  And I was the oldest
    of five kids and the only one out of school and working.  But inspite
    of the financial pressures and changed emotional pressures, I got
    on a diet and lost 60 pounds.  I felt in charge and self-confident
    and was helping my mother (who didn't work outside of the house).
    
    When I got married, my weight was where it should be.  And I maintained
    it that way for 5 years with effort but successfully.  Then I got
    pregnant with my son.  The inadequacies started back in my life, and
    though I loved staying home, I didn't have the morale boost of a job
    and earning money.  The relationship between me and my husband changed
    and I started gaining weight.  
    
    To make a long story short, that pattern established in my childhood
    has been repeated because it was never resolved.  My husband is very
    offended by my weight, and it is the way I rebell against his constant
    control and belittling.  I am working and have a good job, but it is
    not enough.  I have to resolve the issues instead of forcing the
    hurt and anger down with food.
    
    Just yesterday, I made the call to EAP and feel better already.  I
    have lost 40-60 pounds 4 or 5 times in my life already.  My emotions
    are raw and I revert to overeating whether I'm low or high on
    the scale.  But when my food crutch is gone and emotions and difficult
    situations have to be faced, it is scary.  I am hoping the councilling
    from EAP will help me "face the music" and deal with life instead of
    burying myself in a pile of food again.
    
    Good luck to all of you in your quest for peace.
    
    Chris
        

	This may sound like a dumb question, but what do you say to EAP
	when you are asking for help?  I've never been to counseling
	for any problem before and altho I feel I want to go I guess
	I'm kinda hesitant because I really don't know what kind of help
	to ask for...  How to put it into words that would make any
	sense...  I'm doing okay on my food/exercise program right now
	but a lot of times it's a real struggle.  Food isn't my only 
	problem but it's way up there on the list!  Just how do I start 
	a conversation with EAP that would help them to help me??

	Kb

    I think printing out a copy of your earlier note and handing it to the
    counselor would work just fine.  It's quite clear and eloquent, and I'm
    sure it'll give the counselor a starting point.

    Beverly

    .6
    
    If you just start out honestly, "I don't know exactly what to ask
    for, but I'm not as happy as I would like to be..." the questions
    that you will be asked should make it easy for you to "open up".
     The EAP people are GREAT, I can't say enough wonderful things about
    the compassion and caring.
    
    Good luck.